Farewell to an old friend
This here is Stoaty’s hash pipe (I’m experimenting with speaking of myself in the third person. It worked so well for Bob Dole). A good friend made this for me in High School. It’s a layer of rosewood, a layer of ebony and a layer of ivory laminated together and carved to shape. It’s beautiful.
And until the ivory finally burned away from the business end, it tasted like you were smoking toenails.
Still, when someone gives me a gift, I use it. Only, I haven’t used it since 1980. I stopped doing illegal things entirely when I realized I was qualified for grown-up jail. I’m fairly agnostic on the topic of gay marriage, unless it involves me. I don’t want one. Especially by force in a federal detention facility.
Twenty seven years. So I was astonished when I poked it up one nostril and picked up the acid tang of illicit herbiage. Oops! Can’t bring it to England. They go through your stuff. Can’t mail it to one of you guys, just in case it goes astray. So I gave it to a friend of mine who occasionally still indulges.
I hope she remembers she put it in the glove compartment before her next traffic stop.
September 4, 2007 — 7:10 pm
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