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Michelle Obama’s unfortunate pluck

michelle obama's angry eyebrows

I get the impression Michelle Obama is, deep down, a pretty angry woman. But you know what really puts people off? That’s right: those scary Vampyra eyebrows. Michelle probably has a bit of a chip on her shoulder, but Michelle’s eyebrows are pissed. Michelle’s eyebrows have come to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and eyebrows can’t chew bubblegum.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Eyebrows are an artificial construct. The kinder, gentler Michelle on the right is only a pluck away (it’s just a pluck away, pluck away, pluck away). Generally, it’s not wise to take makeup advice from a weasel, but I know I’m right on this one. If Michelle came out for her big speech tonight with level, friendly, upturned suzy-housewife eyebrows, she’d bring down the house.

And that’s all the sense you’ll get out of me today. I played hooky. My cold isn’t very bad, but between that and the continued itches, I stuffed myself full of antihistamines. I’m barely connnnnnnnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzzzzzzz………,,,,,,,,,,

August 25, 2008 — 1:34 pm
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