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Save a tree — wipe your ass with a hippie

toiletpaper

It’s obvious the media made up a whole batch of warmist stories for the run-up to the Copenhagen summit, and they’re by-god going to run them — Climategate be damned. The New Scientist has an article hilariously titled Five eco-crimes we commit every day.

Eco-crimes. Gosh, that sounds super science-y.

Anyhow, it’s a list of things that produce more CO2 than you think (you do think about how much CO2 you’re pumping out, don’t you?). You might’ve knowed it would be a list of everyday things life would be perfectly fucking miserable with less of. New clothes before your old ones have totally worn out. Doing the laundry. Letting food go to waste. Coffee (dear sweet Jesus…coffee).

And, yes. Toilet paper.

It seems long fibers from freshly cut trees are needed to make soft bog-roll. As paper is recycled, the fibers get shorter and harsher. One hundred percent recycled TP is probably like burnishing your asshole with a windowscreen, but…hey. Polar bears, dude.

Polar.

Bears.

Hooray! Greenpeace gives us a guide to environmentalist-approved toilet paper, including a handy .pdf you can print out and carry with you. In case of shock toilet-paper-buying opportunities, I guess.

Incidentally, if Greenpeace is accurately describing the situation — if Kimberly-Clark really was needlessly cutting down old-growth forests to make toilet paper — then I guess I’m glad they got nagged into stopping. On the other hand, I wouldn’t be a bit surprised to find they had been harvesting trees in a responsible way on the advice of wise forest managers. And indian shamans.

If I had to play who-do-you-trust between Big Business and Big Eco…meh.

sock it to me

December 1, 2009 — 7:22 pm
Comments: 42