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Dear Koch brothers,

Like my hat? Yeah, because…ummm…it’s empty.

I’ve been reading all over the blogosphere lately how you guys have bankrolled this “Tea Party” stuff and I’m just wondering — where’s mine?

I’ve got this wingnut schtick down. Really. Really, really good.

Do you not know where to send the check or something? Because my email addy is right there in the header. Just drop me a line; we can work it out.

See, if this gig doesn’t start paying off soon, I’m going to have to slide on over to the progressives. Because we all know they’re actually right about stuff.

Hey! Am I right?

The only reason anyone would be a conservative is for dough. Or because Sarah Palin says it’s what Jesus would do.

So, c’mon guys, pony up! Fair’s fair! I’m really hurting over here.

If the Mossad ever stops buying favorable blog copy, I’m screwed.

Stoaty Weasel

February 25, 2011 — 11:45 pm
Comments: 27

Cutthroat Scrabble

Yeah. Sorry about a post tonight. I have a Scrabble emergency.

And if you don’t think there’s such a thing as a Scrabble emergency, you’ve never seen the white-hot laser intensity with which I can do utterly pointless things.

Yep, I’m still playing that massive multiplayer online Scrabble knockoff game. I’m up over 100,000 points (the top ten starts at over 400K), and that’s a little too much personal investment to walk away from, nome sane?

Thing is, the strategery for this is totally different from Scrabble. One of the most important points is not to get surrounded and cut off, because it’s difficult to punch through somebody else’s lines (you can only play on your own tiles). You get yourself stuck in one of those bunches like the thing in the upper right hand corner, and you’re fucked. That’s it. You spell shorter and shorter words until you can’t play no more.

So I spell toward open water, which in my case is down and to the left. And every once in a while, some ass peals off the main word stream and spells AT me with all he’s got. And I have to spell, spell like the wind to blow past him to freedom.

If none of that made sense to you, it basically means WEASEL HATE! KILL KILL KILL!

‘Scuse me.

Oh, cmblake6 asked to be put on my blogroll (somehow, I thought he already was). Some of y’all may remember I hate messing with my blogroll, so while I’m in there, if anybody else would like to be added — sing out. I don’t think blogrolls contribute to Google ranking or anything now (which is why I’m not ever so scrupulous about maintaining mine), but I’m happy to oblige.

— 12:14 am
Comments: 41