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Run, it’s a cyclops!

Yeah, these two butt-ugly abominations are the Olympics mascots, Wenlock and Mandeville.

Wenlock was named after the Shropshire town of Much Wenlock. It is thought that the Wenlock Games, founded around the mid 19th Century acted as a catalyst to the modern Olympic Games that we all know (and love?)

Mandeville is named after the Stoke Mandeville Hospital, Buckinghamshire where in the 1940s, Dr Ludwig Guttmann established the Stoke Mandeville games at his Spinal unit at the hospital. From here it is said the foundations were laid for the modern Paralympic games.

Now don’t you like them better? No? Me neither.

The Olympic torch is in Sussex at the moment, passing through into Kent tomorrow. I couldn’t give the proverbial at a rolling doughnut about the Olympics, but when Stuff happens near me, I have to be there in the front row waving a flag, yelling, “yay whatever!” It’s an American thing.

It’s trudging through Hastings before nine in the morning, so I have to be up bright and early to catch it. A friend is driving me in. Uncle B would rather floss with rusty barbed wire than turn up and wave a flag.

Nighty night!

sock it to me

July 17, 2012 — 8:50 pm
Comments: 45

You could own Bonnie Parker’s snubby…!

Going up for auction, Bonnie Parker’s Colt Detective Special .38 revolver. It’s expected to fetch $100K. Referred to as her “squat gun” because it was found taped to the upper inside of her thigh with surgical tape, where no true gentleman would dare frisk her. I guess the same rules don’t apply to ladies’ corpses.

In the same auction, other objects from the death car, some of Clyde’s arsenal and general stuff associated with other outlaws and lawmen. Really interesting auction house, that — worth a poke around. They specialize in autographs and historic memorabilia.

For what it’s worth, my grandma was a nurse in Baton Rouge about the time the Bonnie and Clyde went down. She claimed to have seen Bonnie’s body in the mortuary. Said it was dirty. Like, old dirt. Like someone who hasn’t had a good scrub in a long, long time.

On the other hand, my grandmother was often — how you say? — full of shit.

sock it to me

July 16, 2012 — 7:19 pm
Comments: 39

Round 34: Friday the 13th Edition

Montenegro has made hisself a double dick winner with Ernest Borgnine. Go on. Ask him what he’s going to do with all that dick.

Right! Line up and pick your old coot!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

What do we want? Aunty’s dick! When do we want it? When it gets here!

sock it to me

July 13, 2012 — 6:08 pm
Comments: 139

A small man with a big…umm…heart

Behold, Matthias Buchinger (1674–1740) (or Matthew, as he lived much of his life in Britain), the proverbial man with no arms and no legs. Well, he had bits of arms and legs, but no hands and feet. He had little kind of flippery things.

…with which he played a half dozen musical instruments, was a crack shot and loved to build ships in bottles. He was also an accomplished magician, conjurer and card sharp. He made his living as an artist of insanely detailed engravings.

He engraved this self portrait, and if you look very closely (not in my little jpeg, obviously) you will see that the ringlets of his wig are composed of tiny Bible verses.

Oh, also he was married four times, had at least seventeen children by at least eight women, but was rumored to have fathered brats by seventy different ladies. He was so well known a cocksman that the 18th Century vajayjay was popularly known as Buchinger’s boot (which explains the smirk on his face).

What have you done today, Mr or Ms Smarty?


Dead Pool! Tomorrow! Six WBT! Be here!

sock it to me

July 12, 2012 — 10:27 pm
Comments: 16

Yes, please! Whorify my baby!

Oh. Ow. Geez. I’m not big on heavy-handed government regulation, but don’t you think it’s high time we had a taste-based licensing scheme for Photoshop?

Otherwise, we might end up with people doing this.

Or this.

Or even this.

‘Nuff said.

sock it to me

July 11, 2012 — 10:45 pm
Comments: 36

I mighta knowed

So, I was looking for ukulele plans (yeah, don’t ask) and I ran across this place. I might’ve known there’d be a whole subculture dedicated to buying, selling, building and playing cigar box instruments…with their own forums and festivals and marketplaces. And, no doubt, secret handshake and dental plan.

Also, music. If you like gritty nasty slide blues, there are some really good tracks on that album. There are also some less than wonderful tracks on that album, but hey — free album!

sock it to me

July 10, 2012 — 10:29 pm
Comments: 11

No bunnies were harmed in the making of this post

Don’t worry; bunny is fine.

Charlotte’s been losing the battle of dental attrition for ten years now, thanks to a wicked bad case of Feline Dental Resorption. Last year, the vet removed her bottom fangs, leaving her with just the top two. As in, at long last, two whole teeth left in her whole furry head.

Last week, we noticed one of those has vanished. She is now Charlotte Einfang. Must take her in to make sure she hasn’t got a root left behind or something.

Anyhow, she let out a little self-congratulatory meow and her prey took the opportunity to scamper off into the hedge, apparently unharmed. For, like, the fifth time this week (Wanna bet it’s the same stupid bunny every time?).

She hasn’t yet worked out why this terrible thing keeps happening to her.

sock it to me

July 9, 2012 — 10:28 pm
Comments: 25

Short round!

Well, that didn’t take long. Montenegro takes the dick with Ernest Borgnine. G’night, Marty!

See the rest of you back here Friday, 6WBT for Round 34!

sock it to me

July 8, 2012 — 9:32 pm
Comments: 16

Dead Pool Round 33: dog days edition

S2 wins Round 32 (you know how to claim your dick, S2). Andy Griffith can no longer be used as a blue-hair calming device by the gubmint. A more satisfying death than the last couple.

Right! Onwards and earthwards!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

What do we want? Aunty’s dick! When do we want it? When it gets here!

sock it to me

July 6, 2012 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 111

So, this thing is in London

Tallest building in Europe, at least for now. It went live earlier tonight with a laser show.

Phew, and I thought the Pickled Gherkin was big and ugly.

I have a kind of thing about skylines. When I went away to art school, my mother drove me up to Rhode Island. I refused to stop for the night until we saw The Skyline of Providence. Next thing we knew, there was the Welcome to Massachusetts sign. (Yeah. Providence was smaller than I realized. It does have distinct and lovely skyline, but a little one).

This thing…and the Gherkin and the Millenium Dome all the other modern abominations visited onto London has really screwed up a lovely skyline (you can barely make out good old St Paul’s any more).

Oh, well. I guess Hitler started it.


Oooooh! Forgot to add: See you at 6pm WBT for the new Dead Pool!

sock it to me

July 5, 2012 — 10:45 pm
Comments: 26