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Binder full of weasel

Wow. That binder kerfuffle. That’s just all different kinds of stupid, huh?

By the way, go to do a Google search of “binder” and “binder full of women” is already the first suggestion.

sock it to me

October 17, 2012 — 8:48 pm
Comments: 18

Post-apocalyptic British government to be run from secret tunnel complex under Medieval castle

Really. There’s a network of rooms and tunnels 150 feet under Dover Castle — WWII era, from the look of it — that was dusted off to be used as a seat of regional government in the event of a nuclear war.

They’re opening it up for tours for the two weeks marking the 50th Anniversary of the Cuban Missile Crisis. We won’t be going. Dover is a fur piece up the coast from us, but it’s still impossibly cool.

Ian Fleming was from Kent, which probably explains why I sometimes feel like I’ve fallen through a trapdoor into a Bond villain’s secret lair.

Enjoy the debates tonight. As usual, they start about 2am my time, so I’ll catch them in the replay in the morning. To be honest, watching these things in real time makes me nervous as a cat, anyway. Drop by and give me some good news to wake up to, hm?

sock it to me

October 16, 2012 — 9:27 pm
Comments: 16

Moo, boo…what’s the diff?

Phew! I thought there wouldn’t be a post tonight…stupid blog’s been down for an hour.

These things? They’re usually painted to look vaguely like cows. Really lumpy, ugly-ass cows. They’re in Milton Keynes, North of London, and they’re made of cement and fiberglass and…I dunno…bits of junk and FAIL.

A vandal did this to them. A wonderful, magical vandal.

The locals liked the paint job so much, they’re going to leave it this way. At least through Hallowe’en.

sock it to me

October 15, 2012 — 11:33 pm
Comments: 13

Round 39: Nobody look at Steve edition


Before we get started, I’d like to take a moment to express my deep appreciation for Steve. I’m proud to call Steve a reader, commenter on my blog and — yes — my friend.

Yup, that spooky bastard Steve has just won his fourth Dead Pool with Alex Karras. So…just…for god’s sake watch yourselves and nobody kneel on Steve’s dick and I’m pretty sure we’ll all make it through another Dead Pool.

Ready?

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

What do we want? Aunty’s dick! When do we want it? When it gets here!

sock it to me

October 12, 2012 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 134

Give ’em hell, Paul

Heh. I probably shouldn’t have gone with this. I don’t actually expect Ryan to slaughter Biden. Joe is, no kidding, a pretty decent debater. When he pays attention and keeps his shit together, he can pull off a damn good genial and statesman-like imposture.

And Ryan could come off as an abrasive smartass. Worst case, it might look like cocky puppy versus wise silver fox.

Well. Let’s hope for better. It’ll be in the wee hours my time, so I won’t know until morning. (Ah, I see Ace is managing expectations).


Remember — here. Tomorrow. Six of the clock Weasel Blog Time.

Dead Pool Round 39!!!

sock it to me

October 11, 2012 — 9:55 pm
Comments: 19

But my husband doesn’t even know I’m the Dovahkiin

Yes, yes…that’s a giant humanoid lizard in banded leather gauntlets shoveling a snowberry crostata into a brick oven. And why not?

The folks who brought us the wildly popular game Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim decided their nice little game of dragon-slaying, zombie-stomping, vampire-staking and empire-conquering really needed to be…a little more like real life. Their latest add-on fixes that.

Now you can buy property, build a house, get married and have kids. You think I jest?

New Objectives and Interactions – Guard your home from unwanted visitors like marauding kidnappers, armed bandits, and skeever infestations. Turn almost any follower into your personal steward to improve and protect your home. Or if you require more help, hire a personal bard or carriage driver to ease the burdens of home ownership.

Adoption
– Transform your house into a home with Hearthfire’s all-new adoption system. Adopt children and discover new ways to interact with your family. Play games with the kids, allow them to have pets and gain new bonuses from having a family.

Oh, doesn’t that sound like a little slice of Hades? One minute, I’m in Markarth repeatedly beating an apostate priest to death with a rusty mace while a Daedric prince repeatedly resurrects him, and the next, I’m all, like, “hi, Honey — I’m home!” It’s like Second Life with horned helmets and beheadings.

Well, for £3.49 ($4.99 American) I might just have to buy it so I can abuse my kids.


Steve pinky swears he didn’t break Steve’s Rule — he picked Alex Karras fair and square while they were both still breathing. Dang it, I just put his third dick in the mail. I’m’onna have to come up with some kind of virtual dick for this guy; he’s killing me for postage. Yes, friends, Steve has now won his fourth dick. Congratulation, Steve. STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM STEVE.

Meet you back here Friday, 6WBT, for Round 39!

sock it to me

October 10, 2012 — 9:29 pm
Comments: 17

Big Bird for president!

If you want President Big Bird big and in color, you can have President Big Bird big and in color.

sock it to me

October 9, 2012 — 3:58 pm
Comments: 18

WooooOOOOoooo…!

Good article in this month’s Smithsonian magazine (full article online) on the Great New England Vampire Panic.

In the Nineteenth Century, rural folk around Southern Rhode Island and nearby Connecticut got it in their heads that TB outbreaks were actually vampire attacks. Which, when you think about it, must have made a certain twisted sense: one by one, people inexplicably sickened, wasted away and died. What did a farmer know of bacilli?

Many, unknown, maybe hundreds of people were dug up and mutilated all over that area of New England. Many of the corpses were in suspiciously good shape, thanks no doubt to the cold.

I took a little pilgrimage to Mercy Brown’s grave in Exeter, RI when I lived nearby. She was the last to get The Treatment. They dug her up, cut out her heart, burned it on a nearby rock and fed the ashes to her ailing brother (who died).

Here’s the thing: this was in 1892, a stone’s throw from fancy pants Newport and a whisker from the 20th Century. Her father, who didn’t believe a word of this vampire shit but felt pressured by his neighbors, lived until 1922. America was really, really embarrassed by the whole business.

Mercy’s grave was in an ordinary little stone in an ordinary little rural cemetery in the middle of nowhere. The only sign it might be something were the little coins and candles and bits of tat around the stone. (Same as H.P. Lovecraft’s, on the other side of the state. But not Lizzie Borden’s, for some reason).

If you like that sort of thing, the article is well worth a read.

Damn. I should have saved this for Hallowe’en, shouldn’t I?

sock it to me

October 8, 2012 — 10:25 pm
Comments: 15

Something thoughtful for the weekend

I’ve posted about Richard Johnson before — like, five years ago. He’s a National Post (of Canada) illustrator who, in the tradition of the war artists of old, has embedded himself with Canadian troops in Afghanistan to…well, draw pictures of stuff. He’s good.

About six weeks ago, he emailed to say he was going back (not me personally; I’m on his mailing list) and I keep forgetting to post. So here, for the weekend, is a link to his Kandahar Journal in the Post. Also, his own website. If you’re of a Twittering frame of mind, you can follow him thusly: @newsillustrator.

Something a little more worthy to think about for a while. Good weekend, folks!

sock it to me

October 5, 2012 — 10:16 pm
Comments: 17

I haven’t quite got it

Trying to nail down The Smirk. You know, if I’m not careful, JUST when I finally nail down my Obama caricature, I’m not going to need it any more.

WOOOHOOO!

sock it to me

October 4, 2012 — 10:00 pm
Comments: 16