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Oof

I host because I’m a computer geek, not because I’m important.

The googly eyes are how my eyes feel after scanning for intruders for an hour and a half. Also, because knew I already had a picture of googly eyes after Amazon tried to sell me a dime bag eight years ago for some reason.

Some people are still mad about their googly eye purchase. Apparently, the bag of 500 googly eyes doesn’t have any large ones. Poor form.

Naturally, I’m not suggesting you buy googly eyes from Amazon. Do what I do: use Amazon as a search engine, find the exact make and model of the thing you want, then use it as a search term to find another place to buy it. I’ve decided giving my money to a man who hates me is a bad idea.

Bonus Martian-to-human humor translator. Wikipedia explains googly eyes:

Googly eyes, or wiggle eyes, are small plastic crafting items used to imitate eyeballs. Googly eyes traditionally are composed of a white plastic or card backing covered by a clear, hard-plastic shell, encapsulating a black plastic disk. The combination of a black circle over a white disk mimics the appearance of the sclera and pupil of the eye to humorous effect. The inner black disk is allowed to move freely within the larger clear plastic shell, which makes the eyes appear to move when the googly eyes are tilted or shaken.

The plastic shells come in a variety of sizes ranging from 3⁄16 inch (4.8 mm) to over 24 inches (610 mm) diameter. The inner disks come in a variety of colors including pink, blue, yellow, red and green. Googly eyes are used for a variety of arts and crafts projects including pipe cleaner farm animals, silly sock puppets, mischievous pranks, and other creations. Googly eyes may also be attached to inanimate objects in order to give the objects a “silly” or “cute” appearance. This use often personifies the objects for a humorous effect.

The best part? It has a “citations needed” banner at the top.

AHOY! BullDawgGirl wins it with Prince Philip. All my old lady friends are sad. We have just enough time to squeeze in a NEW DEAD POOL. See you back here at 6 WBT.

April 8, 2021 — 8:06 pm
Comments: 12