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Literally two seconds

Still addicted to watching YouTubes of police body cam arrests. I’ve watched so many field sobriety tests, I catch myself rooting for the suspects. You go girl, you totally aced that heel-to-toe thing.

Honestly, some of those people did alright, from what I can see. Either the cops are looking at something special, or they’re just basing the bust on the smell of alcohol.

One thing I am as sure as sure can be – if I ever have to take the field sobriety test, I’m totally going to jail. I’ve always been badly uncoordinated and I’m losing my balance as I get older. Forget the heel-to-toe thing, I can’t last two seconds with my arms to my sides and one foot in the air. Literally two seconds. They’re looking for thirty.

Ironically, I do better after I have a couple of drinks.

p.s. Good thing I don’t have a driver’s license, huh?

p.p.s. That’s not me in the picture. It’s an Arizona judge after ‘a couple’ of glasses of wine.

p.p.p.s. Have a wunnerful weekend!

September 15, 2023 — 7:42 pm
Comments: 9

Guys, guys…he sent me an email!

Thing is, this is almost certainly true. In fact, you’d probably have to travel a fair old distance to find another registered Republican. There’s a woman from Texas who lives in a village about five miles away – maybe she’s higher up the Republican ranking than me.

This was a fundraising email from the NRSC which ISTR has an iffy relationship with Trump. Shameless. They used his picture and tried to sound like him and everything. Which means they know which GOP faction the energy (read:money) is coming from. *thinky face*

September 14, 2023 — 7:27 pm
Comments: 4


Good crop of cobnuts this year (local Kent species of hazelnut). Our other cobnut tree has not a single nut on it, that I can see. Farming be like that.

Then we had the sad duty of retiring our oldest freezer. Uncle B bought the thing before we even met in person. It’s really sad because it was still rock solid, but mice or rats had chewed a scary lump out of the power cord.

Freezer archeology was the usual. The top half was all within the last year or so. Then we get to the fruit level and the dates start dropping. We kept a lot of it, but even more went into the compost bin. Uncle B was very sad, having grown it all with his own furry paw.

I think the oldest thing in there was 2009. Except for way, way down at the bottom: four rolls of 35mm film. Remember storing film in the freezer?

September 13, 2023 — 6:49 pm
Comments: 15

Outstanding in his field

It looked so cold and lonely. And no, I didn’t walk all the way out to it – somebody brought it to the roadside today. Probably the farmer, whose freshly planted field this is.

It’s about a mile from home, assuming it came from the nearest supermarket – but it’s a rough old mile. Yes, I’ve contacted them. Those things aren’t cheap.

Are you getting scary security warnings when you try to read or post? I think my SSL must have expired. I forget how to fix that.

Even more fun, if I try to upgrade the PHP, the whole site flies to pieces. That’s because when I built it 16(!) years ago, I had no idea what I was doing. I just bashed on things until they looked the way I wanted them to.

Compliant to standards? Non.

Eventually, they will force me to upgrade (they identify my current version as insecure), and then we’ll see, won’t we?

September 12, 2023 — 6:39 pm
Comments: 12


I don’t post on September 11th.

September 11, 2023 — 6:38 pm
Comments: 6

Dead Pool 159: Indian summer edition

Mitchell takes it with Steve Harwell. He punished his liver to death. Pour one out for Steve’s liver.

Mitchell, dude…I tried sending an email to the address in your comment box and it bounced back with an error 550.

“The email account that you tried to reach does not exist. Please try double-checking the recipient’s email address for typos or unnecessary spaces.”

You didn’t give your old Auntie Weasel a fake address, did you?

lol, jk – y’all don’t have to give me an address at all, let alone a real one.

So! Everybody got Jimmy Carter CTRL-C’ed, ready to CTRL-V? Then let’s begin.

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

September 8, 2023 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 59

There’s a hole in the sky

Near as I can figure, this was a thin layer of cloud and a little plane flew through it. Here it is large and in color.

I’ve become something of a professional sky watcher this week. We’re having our one heat spell of the summer and I’ve been rolling around in a deck chair every possible minute of the day.

And night. We don’t get a lot of nights warm enough to sit outside and stare up. Very little light here and many stars. On very clear nights, you can see the Milky Way!

And that’s where we’re headed now. It’s just dusk – if we’re lucky, we can see the bats. Don’t be forgetting the Dead Pool tomorrow!

September 7, 2023 — 6:23 pm
Comments: 3

Got ‘im

Found the walking stick with the head of Dante that I saw twice last year. Mitchell reckoned if I saw it again, he wouldn’t mind having it.

Same dodgy dude as last year, but maybe not the same stick. He said he had a number of stick heads and he would occasionally jam one on an available stick. He showed me four un-sticked brass dog heads with birds in their mouths. This is his last Dante.

Might be the same, though. I recognized some of his stock from before.

Anyway, it cost me £30 – a fair enough price for a stick ’round these parts – but I’m totally happy to add it to my stick collection if you decide against. Let me know.

Wednesday is my off day and I spent it in the garden watching YouTubes on my phone. My current favs are bodycam footage of really, really drunk people being arrested. The looks on their faces when the cop they’ve been screaming “fucking asshole” at for ten minutes snaps the first cuff on.

Many such channels.

Unfortunately, a goodly proportion of them don’t show drunks – or not merely drunk – but people who are having clear psychotic breaks, or frequent flyers who are permanently ill and in trouble. Sad to watch.

I don’t know what we do with those people, but letting them wander around throwing punches and getting arrested isn’t it.

September 6, 2023 — 7:36 pm
Comments: 7

It was hi-tech once

Ploughing match. Two steam engines, one at either end of the field. The plough is a boomerang shape. Each arm has a set of plough blades and a steering wheel. The plough is hauled between the two engines by a (rope? wire? chain?). When it reaches the end of the furrow, that engine lets out a whistle, the other side of the plough is dropped to earth and it gets hauled back again by the other engine.

Here, I’ve put a video of it on my YouTube channel. (It’ll be another couple of hours before it’s fully uploaded and processed, at which the quality should take a big jump up). Thanks for the vid, Uncle B.

I know, I know – I forgot I had a YouTube Channel, too.

Well! Looks like Mitch has legit won the DeadPool with Steve Harwell of the band Smash Mouth. Since it’s a thirty year old band, I don’t think I will admit that I don’t know them.

Mitch, are you AKA Mitchell? Because if you are, I have summat to tell you.

September 5, 2023 — 7:15 pm
Comments: 2


Albert the cockerel had a magnificent tail. You’re looking at it.

These two huge plumes floated gracefully and symmetrically from his backside, like a lyrebird. I’ve spent four years working to keep him from getting them stuck in doors and hinges. Moving Albert around has been largely defined in terms of that fancy tail.

And now it’s gone.

I’m assuming this is part of a normal molt and it’ll grow back again. It’s the first time in four years his tail has molted and you can see the feathers were getting pretty ratty. But I have to come to terms with the idea that without it, he just has a butt.

September 4, 2023 — 7:36 pm
Comments: 7