I apologize a lot
Four people in Essex today were sentenced for taking over a courtroom and attempting to kidnap the coroner.
What is this? Thinks I. They were part of a group calling themselves Federal Postal Court Judges.
And what is that? Thinks I. Oh, god, it’s a subset of the sovereign citizen movement – have we talked about the sov cits? We should talk about the sov cits – and it looks like it traces back to the States and a man named David Wynne Miller.
He sounds as schizophrenic as the day is purple.
He invented his own legal language that never prevailed in any court case, ever. It contains no adjectives, adverbs or pronouns. Only nouns have legal standing. Sentence must have a minimum 13 words and use more nouns than verbs. All legal documents must begin with a preposition (usually “for”) and everything seems to be in all caps. This is the example Wikipedia gives:
FOR THE FORMS OF OUR PUNCTUATIONS ARE WITH THE CLAIM OF THE USE: FULL-COLON=POSITION-LODIO-FACTS, HYPHEN=COMPOUND-FACTS =KNOWN, PERIOD=END-THOUGHT, COMMA-PAUSE, AND LOCATION-TILDES WITH THE MEANINGS AND USES OF THE COMMUNICATIONS WITH THE FULL-COLON OF THE POSITION-LODIAL-FACT-PHRASE WITH THE FACT/KNOWN-TERM OF THE POSITIONAL-LODIO-FACT-PHRASE AND WITH THE VOID OF THE NOM-DE-GUERRE = DEAD-PERSON.
snnnnnnfff, smell the psychosis.
Here’s a 15 minute video about him, including clips of him talking. He died of a heart attack in 2018. Which is a shame because I’m sure he had a doozy of a website.
October 29, 2024 — 6:52 pm
Comments: 6
You are not permitted to escape, ever
I spotted this article in the BBC just now:
The National Park Authority said it was “deeply saddened and appalled” after a walking trail featuring stories about the South Downs was vandalised.
Oh, that’s sad. The South Downs are a beautiful chalk landscape, perfect for a walking trail.
It said 13 plaques along the Sussex Heritage Coast from Seaford to Eastbourne had been removed in a “targeted attack”.
Plaques? What sort of plaques? puzzledface.jpg
Sgt Tom Carter, from Sussex Police’s rural crime team, said: “The fact that someone chose to steal plaques from this particular trail, which features work by female writers from black and global majority backgrounds, is a detestable act.”
Oh. Ohhhhh.
If you haven’t run across it, “Global majority” is a collective term for people of Indigenous, African, Asian, or Latin American descent, who constitute approximately 85 percent of the global population (Wikipedia). If they’re the majority, shouldn’t we be getting special protections from them?
The plaques were linked to 13 audio stories that were part of a trail unveiled in 2023 called “We Hear You Now”.
Oh, we hear you now alright. We aren’t permitted to hear much of anything else.
Honestly, Britain has lost its mind with this anti-white stuff. One night, the atmospherics were just right and we caught television from France. We were astonished at the number of white faces in their ads. We haven’t had white people in advertising for years, unless they’re menials or the butt of a joke.
Hiker dude: don’t do it again. They’re putting them back up. If there is any kind of cover at all, there will be a trail camera aimed at you.
Bonus question: is that the hand of a woman with a hairy forearm or a man with creepy long nails?
October 28, 2024 — 6:17 pm
Comments: 6
Dead Pool 181: Fall back edition
Yahya Sinwar has copped it and nbc has won Round 180.
If you haven’t seen the footage of his last moments on earth, it’s creepy as hell. They sent a drone into the building to see who was still alive and he chucks a stick at it. It has such a weird scifi vibe.
Maybe it’s the way the drone turns away when the stick comes at it, like it didn’t want to get hit in the face.
His graphic death photos show a considerably more rubbly room, so I guess they must have thrown a grenade at him first. Brrr.
Enough of that. Let’s talk about something cheery, like who dies next.
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.
Note: I am woefully behind on dick deliveries. If I owe you one, you’ll know how long. I ain’t gived up, but I haven’t drawn much since lockdown. Some day, your heirs might.
October 25, 2024 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 43
I’ve had a day
I’m definitely feeding a magpie. Whether it’s the same magpie, I couldn’t say. Seems pretty healthy, this one. I have a box of catfood the cat rejected, so bird is welcome to it.
I bought a series of ink drawings at an online auction. They’re framed, which is a shame because I don’t have anywhere to hang them, I just wanted to study his technique. I’ll post more when I get them.
And then…A WEASEL RAN ACROSS THE ROAD IN FRONT OF US. Which, I forgot to tell you, also happened last week in nearly the same spot. But what does it mean?
We had lunch at our favorite local cafe and got chatting with the waitress (who’s also the owner). I don’t remember how the conversation turned to human nature, but she told us she used to be a prison guard in a lockup for female sex offenders. She said the only prisoner who struck her as completely evil was…Myra Hindley!
If you are a consumer of true crime, you’ll know exactly who that is. If you’re not, I don’t recommend looking up the details. They’re bad.
My blog is no longer letting me preview posts before I publish them, marking us one day closer to the day it simply falls over and stops moving. Until then, if you see any typos, let me know.
Finally, DEAD POOL TOMORROW. Be here. Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.
October 24, 2024 — 6:21 pm
Comments: 6
A whole universe of fail…
Sorry, sorry. I got distracted tonight watching someone else play the latest woke flop video game. One reviewer described it as “Indian girl saves the world from white people.”
Very buggy, glitchy program with generic gameplay. Despite its woke premise, if they’d polished it more and paid better attention to the mechanics, it might have made its money back at least. As it is, there are 90 people playing it right now according to steamcharts, down from an all-time high of fewer than 300. A total wipeout.
Okay, here’s the funny part: the developers thought that this was such an amazing story, it was going to open up a whole universe of media. As Brave AI put it: “The game’s narrative is part of a larger Storyworld, intertwining with other Unknown 9 products, including video games, podcasts, comic books, novels, and more.”
I honestly don’t know how so many people in high positions in entertainment can be so utterly delusional. Don’t they know any normal people?
I’ve been watching the playthrough on this random channel, mostly because his voice cracks me up. I’ve just realized who he sounds like: the guy who did Freeman’s Mind, a very funny playthrough of Half Life 2. Recommended.
Channels where you interact with someone who’s playing a game have been described as friend simulators. I thought what a sad state of affairs that is for young men. And then I realized heeyyyyy *I* don’t have any friends to play video games with.
October 23, 2024 — 7:30 pm
Comments: 7
Testing, testing
Don’t mind me. I think the blog is broken.
— 7:11 pm
Comments: 1
He complimented me on my flaunching
We had a bricklayer on the roof all day, fixing our chimbley. It was a mess. No wonder we had bees!
But our flaunching is apparently in good condition. So there’s that.
A different guy will fix the leak in the kitchen roof, and I can’t tell you what a relief that will be. It has rained relentlessly for days, which means we can’t use the stove top.
I can’t fry anything, y’all! If it ain’t fried, it ain’t cooked!
Changing the subject, I liked one video of a stray dog finding a forever home and now YouTube thinks what I really want to see is videos of horribly injured and abused animals. My home page is a nightmare. I hate the YouTube algorithm.
Speaking of, MST3K is doing their Foreverathon for Halloween again this year. They’re up to Season 5.
October 22, 2024 — 4:53 pm
Comments: 10
I shared my tuna and cucumber sandwich with a magpie
A magpie was hanging around the office door this afternoon. Our entryway is covered and it was filthy rain today.
He wasn’t just taking shelter, though. As I walked past, he flew away into the rain, but not far. He kept coming back. He could fly, but not very high. I assume he’s injured somehow.
So I bought him a sandwich. It seemed stupid to leave a bird a whole sandwich, though, so I ate part of it while I threw bits to him. He did seem very hungry. I must tell you, the usual thing around here is tuna and sweetcorn, which tastes okay but looks all kind of wrong.
Farmers say magpies are evil fuckers, but they are handsome. If he’s still there tomorrow, I have a pouch of catfood for him. They’re omnivores, aren’t they?
I didn’t think to take a picture of the bird, so here’s a picture of the sandwich wrapper.
October 21, 2024 — 4:50 pm
Comments: 6
This is not about video games, really
One of the things that startled me about the wizard game is that so many of the enemies in the field were women. It was so odd, I thought that must be from something in the books. It eventually dawned on me: it was an equity thing! They went out of their way to ensure 50% of the violent thugs were women as a matter of fairness.
It didn’t occur to the writers that violent thugs are hardly ever women in the real world and that was a good thing about women.
It’s not that modern storytellers don’t know the difference, it’s that they seem to hate woman things. It’s a weird kind of feminism that only values women when they’re doing man things like riding motorcycles, ordering men around and punching men in the face. It’s one of the many, many ways modern writers create fake feeling worlds.
In the real world, women can’t go toe-to-toe with men and they have to use workarounds like guile, misdirection, persuasion, seduction, or enlisting the help of another man. Also guns, hatpins and poison. Those work, too.
It sucks that this is true, but it’s incredibly dangerous to teach girls otherwise. And incredibly unconvincing in fiction.
p.s. story problems are opportunities to find cool workarounds. The girl in the picture is the protagonist of the latest Star Wars game. Her stealth strategy is to go up behind men and punch them in the side of the head. Even if they’re wearing a helmet, they go down like a sack of potatoes. It the most not believable thing ever.
They could have given her some kind of cool high-tech brass knuckles that let out a burst of electrical activity that renders people unconscious. But no, she just pops ’em with her widdle fist.
p.p.s. her sidekick is creepy as hell, too. He was so obviously designed with merch in mind.
p.p.p.s. good weekend! We have the scaffolders in again.
October 18, 2024 — 5:16 pm
Comments: 8
Phone posting
Sorry y’all. New Internet provider. Teething problems.
I hate typing on my phone :(
October 17, 2024 — 6:34 pm
Comments: 8