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gorgeous tiny etcetera

Oh-kay. I have just watched the entire run of Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show — and you can, too, in less than an hour.

First impression: they’re trying too hard. But I snorted a few times. If you liked Pee Wee’s Playhouse, you’ll probably snort a few times, too. The hostess, Kiko — played by creator Kim Evey, a South Korean raised in America — cracks me up completely. The rest of the format…meh.

Per Wikipedia, this thing got started strictly as a YouTube self-upload a year or so ago and quickly went viral. Eventually, Sony picked it up for their C-Spot website, which they launched a couple of months ago. I gather the purpose is to scoop up these viral turds and put a bit of polish on ’em. Budgets balloon from, like, nothing to as much as ten grand an episode.



Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 27, 2008, 12:16 pm

Be interesting to see if Sony’s idea works at all. At one end, you have slick, packaged entertainment with a corporate name to defend and high production values. At the other, you have the crappy but freewheelin’ ways of the Web. Nobody seems to have found the middle ground.

The closest anybody has come is South Park — which, of course, didn’t originate on the Web at all, but is the kind of thing I think might come out of it.

Oh, McGoo? Lick Poop is a recurring character. So there’s that.

Comment from WTF
Time: May 27, 2008, 12:37 pm

I like your blog and all but WTF was that sh__? Where do you even find this stuff.

Comment from LemurKing
Time: May 27, 2008, 12:51 pm

We’re Moronbloggers. We find weird shit. We come up with weird shit. It’s what we do. It is what we are. Sometimes funny, sometimes scary, sometimes weird, sometimes sad – emotions for all seasons.

Like I said somewhere else lately… we’re flypaper for freaks. 🙂

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 27, 2008, 1:18 pm

Ah! Good ol’ Lick Poop!

Excellent, Weasel. I just watched the one episode. Now that I know LP is a recurring character – and that the total time is only an hour – I’ll watch the rest of ’em.

Outstanding definition of us, LK.

WTF – We make you feel even more like you do now than you did before you got here.

So be comforted….

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 27, 2008, 1:40 pm

You kidding me, WTF? (Incidentally, it’s okay to say “shuf” in my comments). The thing has been a viral hit since February 2007. Not only did I stumble over it on the very mainstream hulu.com (right next to the Lost in Space and the A Team), but it’s officially old. I am late to the party.

I figure that’s about average, incidentally. A year or two out before I pick up on the latest all your base.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 27, 2008, 1:43 pm

Please for you to crap hands and cheering for Chief Itchy Balls!

God, that cracks me up. And, you know what? I’m going to spend the rest of my life as a foreigner, so I have a right to laugh at foreigners.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 27, 2008, 1:51 pm

The look on the Chief’s face was quite rewarding when she said that. I unfortunately had no phone service this weekend in the mountains, so no Hulu. I had to settle for Godzilla movies on DVD. Now that’s some good cinema.

Flypaper for freaks indeed. There be weirdness here.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 27, 2008, 2:01 pm

Okay, so I stopped at Mickey D’s for lunch (a thing I’ve done exactly twice, even though there’s one next to this office, because it’s a bitch to get in and out of). I order a Big Mac meal and a sweet tea.

Magic voice says, “Widdicomb Peacherorder.”
And I’m like, “what?”
And she says, “Widdicomb Peacherorder.”
And I’m like, “I’m…really sorry…but I…could you repeat that?”
And she says, “Widdicomb Peacherorder.”

No change in inflection or enunciation or anything, but I finally get, “will that complete your order?” Don’t you think you’d resort to, “is that all?” or “anything else?” or something? But, no…they by-god told her to say “Widdicomb Peacherorder” and that’s what she’s by-god going to say.

Okay, okay…shock, horror, they don’t hire rocket scientists to run the register at McDonald’s, but…geez.

Comment from doubleplusundead
Time: May 27, 2008, 2:52 pm

See, that’s the thing, honestly, the only TV I watch anymore is South Park, a little bit of Mythbusters and if a major mews story breaks, and really, I can get those online for the most part.

As for web shows, this one is a bit messed up, and given the title and subject, may be NSFW, but it is funneh. http://youtube.com/watch?v=-DD0pBgotC0

Comment from Allen
Time: May 27, 2008, 3:00 pm

Weasel, BTW I found a pub for you in London:


How I found it doesn’t even bear repeating. It was one of those hmm, I’ll click that, oooo… look at that shiny link over there, why that looks interesting, kind of things.

Comment from Buffoon
Time: May 27, 2008, 3:00 pm

This post should have come with a warning:

“Moderate usage of Marijuana will enhance your viewing experience.”

I hate Sweasel because she put a pancake on my cousin Tony’s head.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 27, 2008, 3:02 pm

Eh. I had extras. I couldn’t find a rabbit.

Comment from LemurKing
Time: May 27, 2008, 3:20 pm

Would waffles have been the correct choice?

Comment from Lokki
Time: May 27, 2008, 5:09 pm

Weasel – I don’t want to defend ignorance and poor speech, but….

Have you ever lain awake at night, staring at the ceiling, repeating a phrase until it sludged its way into meaninglessness?

That’s what happens to many secretaries and other workers forced to repeat a phrase again, and again, and again. It loses all meaning to them, and turns into a single long, incomphrensible word.

While I don’t approve, I understand.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 27, 2008, 5:39 pm

Oh! And here I thought you were going to stick up for Mrs Lokki’s honor and poke holes in the broad caricature of the Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show. But, no…you gotta go defend some stranger who works at McDonald’s.

I’ve done my share of minimum-wage food jobs, but I don’t think it would be possible to train me to repeat the same phrase without variation. I don’t think my brain/tongue connection works that way. I’d have it in haiku form in no time.

Worst job I ever had? Driving an icecream truck. Dear lord that sucked monkey balls.

Comment from BTM
Time: May 27, 2008, 5:40 pm

You gotta hand it to the morons, they know how to blog. I can get vanilla news any where, but when I want strange shit and nonsensical comments, that’s why God invented Morons. Half the time when I read any of the Moron blogs I have the old Flying Circus phrase continually running through my head “And now for something completely different . . .”

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 27, 2008, 6:05 pm

It is true that pretty much every blog on the list (not counting those lazy bastards who haven’t updated in forever) has a certain flavor. I walk down the moronroll every day because I know I’m going to find at least a couple of interesting tidbits I won’t find anywhere else.

Comment from LemurKing
Time: May 27, 2008, 6:24 pm

Wow BTM, that’s mighty nice of you to say. We aim to please, and sarcasm is just another service we offer. 🙂

Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: May 27, 2008, 6:43 pm

Ahh Swease, with enough motivation (read your yearly raise dependent on QA scores that are graded by 80 year old retired, cranky elementary ed teachers) you can learn to repeat anything verbatim at the slightest cue. Worked for a truly awful security place once. Things got so bad I started my greeting when I was trying to order at McD’s.

Comment from Lokki
Time: May 27, 2008, 7:12 pm

Weasel –

I thought about pointing out that ‘Kiko’ is a Korean using a Japanese name and making fun of what are traditionally considered Japanese problems with speaking English. But, after considering several rather choice snide comments, I decided that it’s de minimis offense – one of the problems with America today is that we take offense at everything some moron says. It’s SO tiring when everyone does that.

But who is going to stick up for the proles who slave away at McDonalds, flipping burgers to the pace of a buzzer? Who but Lokki? The thought hit me the other day that if 100 is the average IQ, then half of American’s are below average in intelligence… surely they have to work somewhere? I don’t want them to become wards of the state. Besides… I don’t eat at McDonalds.

Oh, and have considered the thought that Damion has a new job and is just too busy to phone home?


Comment from TattooedIntellectual
Time: May 27, 2008, 7:29 pm

Lokki, do different Asian countries have different problems w/ English? To be honest I’ve never paid much attention to it.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 27, 2008, 8:26 pm

This all reminds me of a “Basque saying” by Trevanian in one of his “Sanction” novels:

“Idiots may know things others do not – for is not idiocy largely a matter of the mind?”

He wrote a bunch of ’em and I have a file on the subject – on the other PC at home. (I’m in S MO right now).

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: May 27, 2008, 9:18 pm

Years ago my brother was involved in one of those activities that sailors randomly repeat: toss everything you own in a car that has a 50-50 chance of making it across the country and try to reach the other side. (Why its less expensive to send young sailors in decrepit cars across the country for a week long school instead of putting one school on each end, I don’t understand, but the Navy has been at this a long time, so they have it down pat, right?)

When he finds hisself in Georgia at about a snack time, he pulled into what he claims was a Burger Queen. Myself, I never seen ’em outside of Tennesee, but there you go. There is a little bit of a disconnect at the counter, because my brother runs at 78 rpm and the kid taking his order is stuck on 33⅓. After several iterations of “Lemmehav2cheezburgers&acoke,pleez!” followed by “Whhuuuuuut?,” my brother engages in an elaborate and extended pantomime in conjunction with a stacatto version of “Lemmehav2cheezburgers&acoke,pleez!” A golden moment of silence is followed by “Jaaawwllll wonsum kofi widdaaaat?”

Now convinced that it is futile to get a cheezburger at a Burger Queen no matter what the big picture on the signboard behind the counter implies, my brother perserveres out of sheer cussedness, a trait that seems to run in his fambly. Particularly in his brothers, of which I am the onliest one. So he goes through the complex pantomime and stacatto delivery twice more of “Iwant2cheezburgers&acoke,pleez!”, at which point the kid behind the counter explodes with his bestest attempt at a Yanquí accent and yells

Ahhhkkknnnoooooowwwwwssss thet!!!! Duz you all whant sum’ koffee wid thet?!?!?

Not sure why that anecdote seemed relevant at this juncture, I guess it was just a sporadically dishonest paraphasic event coming to the fore.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 27, 2008, 9:52 pm

…a sporadically dishonest paraphasic event coming to the fore.

There’s a cream for that…

Comment from kishnevi
Time: May 27, 2008, 9:53 pm

EW, my father was stationed at Camp Gordon outside Augusta, Ga. (This was in the 50s, just after my parents got married.) My mother joined him there. Being born in Boston, she has a significant Boston accent. She claims that whenever she went to the butcher while living there, she communicated with him by hand gestures because she couldn’t understand his accent and he couldn’t understand hers.

Of course, for incomprehensibility, nothing beats an upcountry Jamaican patois. We used to have two Jamaican janitors at our workplace, and when they started to talk to each other, no one could understand them. In fact, sometimes even the other Jamaicans couldn’t understand them.

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: May 27, 2008, 10:14 pm

I had more trouble understanding the Brits than the Germans (in either German or English).

Comment from Lokki
Time: May 27, 2008, 10:33 pm

I love “misunderstanding because of strange accent” stories.

It gives me another chance to roll out this old chestnut


Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: May 27, 2008, 10:40 pm

kishnevi, I just have to ask: was it a kosher butcher?

Anyway, the mostest hilarious conversation I think I have ever had was at a sushi bar in Huntsville, AL right outside Redstone Arsenal. I’ve already related to Lemur King how surprisingly good the food there was…but I was in there one afternoon as the sole customer at the sushi bar while the Korean sushi chef was training his Ecuadoran apprentice. The resulting pidgin of English, Spanish and Japanese worked quite gratifyingly in my favor as the chef put his apprentice through his paces with me being allowed to grade the result. But it was quite humorous when two of us would grasp a concept and both would attempt explaining it to the third. Well, the food was good anyway.

Comment from LemurKing
Time: May 27, 2008, 10:42 pm

Mrs. Peel, here’s how I look at it… if the gosh-darned Brits would speak English instead of British, we might unnerstand ’em better. Sheesh.

Beautiful link, Lokki. We have a part-Himalayan-part-Squirrel cat and he gets horribly matted at times – mostly because he growls/screams/hisses/wails when even gently brushing him. In the summer when he essentially tells us to buzz of, we end up buzz-cutting his belly. He has that same “I’m going to leave your intestines in the mailbox if you get any closer to me” look.

Comment from kishnevi
Time: May 27, 2008, 11:36 pm

EW–I always assumed it was a kosher butcher. But given some things she’s said over the last few years, it may not have been. Depends on whether there was a kosher butcher in Augusta, which is not improbable.

I do know that my grandfather, who was born in Russia and a native speaker of Yiddish, took on a Boston accent to such a n extent that he spoke Yiddish with a Boston accent. Until I was a teenager, I thought my grandmother’s Yiddish name was Razor (=Razeh, or Rose in English).

Here’s a joke.
Scene: old style New York deli. Two customers come in, are greeted by a Chinese waiter who, to their delight and astonishment, speaks perfect Yiddish. They talk to him in Yiddish for the whole time they’re there, no problems. To show their appreciation, they tip him a quarter. [Note: this joke is probably as old as the customers were.] As they pay at the register up front, they ask the owner where he found this waiter, and where did he learn to speak such good Yiddish?
Owner: “Shh, don’t let him hear you say that. He thinks we’re teaching him English.”

Comment from Allen
Time: May 28, 2008, 12:33 am

Apropos of nothing, yet at the same time Gorgeous Tiny Chickenish, I got e-mailed this. Tis true I have low friends in strange places. Tattoo of the week:


Comment from LemurKing
Time: May 28, 2008, 1:13 am

Hokay then. I probably could have prepared myself by reading the link itself, but if that isn’t an eye opener, I don’t know what is.

You gotta ask yourself who would put that on their body and why. I have multiple tats and it never once occurred to me to place a cat’s ass anywhere.

Comment from Old Iron
Time: May 28, 2008, 3:49 am

I never understood people that get joke tats. Don’t they realize that after about ten years of hanging out with pretty much the same folks that they will eventually get tired of the retelling? That yes, some jokes do actually get a little old with time?

Yeah, when I was starting on my ink the last thing I wanted to do was be an anatomical display for animal asses.

-Lemur, you have ink?!?! Sounds like you have a signifigant amount too… and I think you have hit on what I can do while in Green Bay. Mmmm. New ink.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 28, 2008, 7:27 am

Dude, they’re all going to be joke tats some day, when they’re all wrinkly and saggy and blurry.

And you ain’t a-gonna believe how soon that will be…

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 28, 2008, 8:16 am

I have no tats, for precisely that reason, Weasel.

I had an old uncle who had old tats – so I saw in person what happens with time. Ugh.

But if I was gonna get inked, I’d get a Snake Pliskin tattoo.

Comment from Old Iron
Time: May 28, 2008, 10:12 am

I know…. sigh. But at least it won’t be a big blog that looks like an aged cat’s ass.

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: May 28, 2008, 10:27 am

kishnevi~back at you: Goldfarb is stuck in Tokyo over the weekend, and as nightfall approaches, asks the concierge if by chance there is a local synagogue. There is! and surprised and delighted, a lonely Goldfarb heads off to join the minyan. Arrives at the synagogue, but is a little nonplussed when he discovers that everyone in attendance appears to be, er, uh, Oriental.

Services start, conducted in flawless Hebrew, with a smattering of Yiddish. Afterwards, Goldfarb approaches the rebbe to learn a little more about this surprising congregation. But the rebbe says to him, “Goldfarb, I hope you don’t mind my asking, but are you Jewish?” A startled Goldfarb assures him that he is, to which the rebbe replies “That’s funny, because you sure don’t look Jewish!”

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 28, 2008, 10:34 am

I’m living for the day I see my first string of barbed wire stretched around a bingo wing. I’ll be shuffling along with a walker by then, but I’m going to give it my best Nelson Muntz.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 28, 2008, 11:23 am

Barbed wire… speaking of odd museums the Barbed Wire Museum in McLean TX. A number of years ago my wife and I did old Route 66 on motorcycle, I saw the sign for the museum, and of course just had to stop.

Come to think of it what’s with all the barbed wire tattoos? I won’t put up another disturbing tattoo link but has anyone wandered around that body mod site? Go to the corset piercing category and scroll through. Near the bottom a serious WTF. Dude, your face?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 28, 2008, 11:35 am

This guy had a lady tattoo’d on his arm, and then bought her implants. No lie.

I found that looking for a shot I saw on TMZ of Tom Arnold’s tattoo of Roseanne over his heart.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 28, 2008, 11:56 am

What can you possibly say about someone who has breast implants for their tattoo? It does remind me of a guy I knew in the Army. He had a tattoo of a woman on his upper arm. Over top of it, it said “True Love.” Underneath, it had the two names of his ex-wives crossed out.

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: May 28, 2008, 12:25 pm

Weasel, even for this crowd, there is such a thing as TMI.

/Tom Arnold & …. yeechhhhhh!

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: May 28, 2008, 12:37 pm

Is Roseanne the leftwing lesbian or the nice actress?

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: May 28, 2008, 12:46 pm

Aren’t you confusing her with Hilary? 😉

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: May 28, 2008, 12:49 pm

Not to offend, Lord Badger, but there’s a difference between Hilary and Hillary.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: May 28, 2008, 1:38 pm

Nelson Munz? Is that like a Dirty Sanchez?

Yesterday I was gonna say something about a “Irritable Weasel” and then decided not to. Now I’ve decided that an Irritable Weasel is being hit in the face with a properly seasoned American iron skillet while abroad.

Watch out, Badger!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 28, 2008, 1:51 pm

Nelson Muntz.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 28, 2008, 1:56 pm

Neat picture, and an interesting story. Well at least it is to me.


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