sweasel.com

I originally worded that “my daddy didn’t buy THE cow” but that sounds like he didn’t marry my mom. There’s one humiliation I was spared.

If you Google “gore” and “cattle auction” you’ll get lots of variants of the story. Most date to the 2000 election season and are along the lines of “the cows weren’t that overpriced” and “there’s no proof Gore was actually influenced.”

More interesting, most of the hits reveal that Armand Hammer (don’t laugh; scary dude) got Gore into the cattle business in the first place. Hmmmmmm.

Oh, ummm…and should you ever need it, I also ran across CowKool.com, the most efficient cow cooling system available with a 98.9% summer/winter milk yielding ratio.

hits reveal that Armand Hammer (don’t laugh; scary dude) got Gore into the cattle business in the first place.

Armand Hammer was a very scary dude who was counting on the Soviets to cause the downfall of America.

When the Soviets joked about a capitalist selling them the rope to hang us with, Armand was in Moscow taking orders.

BTW, that is the best capsule description of Al Gore’s political life and acumen I have ever seen.

Sigh – Al’s daddy was so old fashioned….. and made such a petty and fussy pretense at making the transaction at least look honest to the quick glance.

Hillary didn’t have to even have actual cows… too much bother.

She just speculated in cattle futures – and made $100K a day at it, as I recall.

Still I’m amused at the irony of Al Gore being raised on the finest bull….

And I promise to leave the cars idling and run the AC with the windows open on Belch Day. I subscribe to the theory that the whole global warming/Gaia/”science!” thing is indeed religion for people for have rejected that “old time religion”.

History is full of warnings of an angry, vengeful God or god or gods who will punish us out to the seventh generation, if we don’t act better. Since anal sex is just OK now (for an example) we need new sins to replace the old ones. If global warming is finally understood to be a fraud, there will be a new scare – aliens, perhaps, who will punish us for using up more than our fair share of the universe’s bounty….

I often ask the Gaiaistas why their God is such an old testament, angry type who is so so intent on punishing us for actions. They never get it. It’s “Science!”

I love cows. They’re nummy.

Great post, Your Ladyness!

Speaking of aliens, someone in the mile high city is apparently not getting enough oxygen to his brain. Will address city council and release alien video.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,359563,00.html

And evidently the Pope says it’s okay for us Catholics to believe in aliens.

And why not? The Pope already said it’s okay for us to believe in Prada.

If global warming is finally understood to be a fraud, there will be a new scare – aliens, perhaps, who will punish us for using up more than our fair share of the universe’s bounty….

Probing anal sex with aliens…..oh wait…

I am soooooo using this over at GCP.

Heh™

Too late. The gummint is buying it for you.

This is the first year since I moved into this house that I’m going to make it to June 1 without turning on my air conditioner.

That right there is the world’s most awesomest summation of the Gore Family Political Syndicate that I have ever read.

And Farmer Joe? For shame. I didn’t even put the unit in last year. Although to be fair, I am a KYian so my heat tolerance may be higher than yours.

A KYian? Ewwww. I didn’t realize they’d built a religion around KY.

(Yeah. That’s right. You say something nice to me and I zing you in return. What part of “weasel” is unintelligible?)

Sell the same cow over and over again, is it a cash cow?

I got no beef with that. Milk the system for all it’s worth, I say.

Moooooving right along, I’m about to stampede my way right out of this comment, lest I steer it the wrong way.

(no caffeine and I’m going insane – good-bye cruel world, at least until tonight when I get back on the computer)

[…] lays out an interesting tale: Anyhow, the shopkeep told me that Al Gore, Sr, ran a crooked cattle auction in nearby Carthage. […]

I don’t need the CowKool thanks. I already have the HorseBeNotHot system installed. Meanwhile I am feeding the horses a special supplement for methane goodness for the upcoming gala.

So anal sex is OK now? I missed the memo, I guess. No wonder that fellow looked so surprised and all when I told him to fuck off and die.

Carbon Belch Day? Farts are a foregone conclusion. No problem there. I’m down with the rest of it too. In fact, I’ll not recycle anything that whole week. That’ll show ’em.

In case anyone cares, it’s just the same here in GB. Damn nearly June and I have sat here shivering lately, refusing to switch the heating on, as the rain poured down.

Still got hippies on the TV preaching to me about global warming, of course.

Oooooooh! Sweasel, I just had a thought. Better get it written down. Hope you don’t mind.

I always thought Al Gore, Sr., was a passable senator, as legislators go. Of course, even though he was half of my senatorial representation at the time, I was young and callow, and didn’t give a rat flip about politicians or politics, so there is that.

Now that I think about it, I guess the best I can say is that I don’t remember any big scandals hung on Gore Sr. I sort of put the cow sales down to politics as usual. It was that much less he would steal from the taxpayers directly, or so I thought.

Anyways, I got to thinking… Wonder if Sr. is proud of his boy today. Junior being such a pussy and all, not to mention pretty much a laughing stock to at least half the US population, not to mention outposts of the rest of the civilized world. I bet he wonders how Jr. turned out to be such a fucking idiot.

Steamboat McGoo:

“AGW is a fraud – pure and simple. The hockey stick is a fraud, the “CO2 causes/caused warming” is a fraud, and the models are all failures.”

Yeah. You guys aren’t elitists. I know a lot of working-class types who use words like anthropogenic.

And could you maybe spend a little time bashing another phony son of a phony? You know, the chickenhawk who cherry picked intelligence and lied his way into an illegal war. The one with the blood of over 4000 American soldiers and hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis on his hands.

Nihilists! Fuck me. I mean, say what you like about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.

Eh. You won’t find many Bush fans here, Seth. Dude is *way* to the left of most of us.

The rest of that I’m too bevodka’d to get the drift of.

Uncle Badger, this has indeed been a very cool year. In some of the work on global warming they had some interesting papers on grape harvest dates going back 500 years. They showed the trends for harvesting date track global cooling and heating pretty well.

At any rate I have been growing grapes for twenty years and found this to be quite discernible. This year, the harvest will be 3-4 weeks later then normal.

Jeez, I’m a working-class stiff at General Motors, and I hear (and use) anthropogenic a lot. Go back to Kos, Seth; your mommy’s callin’ you. And take your idiot lefty rhetoric with you.

no. i’m utterly fascinated with this site. not going. so there. fucking elitist.

Yay! Please, Felix? He followed me home. I’ll feed him and clean his litter box! I swear!

i’m staying. just don’t cut my balls off like the rest of these sad sacks.

Eh. I don’t have ’em d-balled any more. It just doesn’t help.

Have I been attacked? Besmirched? If so, should I crap in my hat, or wear it backwards?

Seth, if you’re trolling for me, you have to use little words and simple sentences. Then I’ll give you the attention I suspect you so richly deserve. Um…you do have sanitary napkins nearby, don’t you? Or a large roll of Bounty paper towels? Good….

Meanwhile – Weaz! What are you nartisting up for Carbon Belch Day? Is there an Original Weasel Creation burbling around in that presently be-vodka’ed brain of yours? Will it stun and delight the Moronosphere – as usual?

I’m dribbling in anticipatory delight!

can i say i love that? cause i do. cats are way cooler than people. on this we agree.

But those of us that were de-sphered really have a lot of fun with helium. We can go all the way ultrasonic with our voice pitch!

Seth – you asshole. You just scored points. Damn you…

totally trolling for you man. but then i found your porn. are you a lube guy or au natural?

Cats are the Spawn of Satan, at least my barn cat is. Then again he’s part bobcat, which might help explain things. So instead of just having normal cat authority issues he also has a really bad temper.

A trip to the vet for him sometimes involves an urgent care trip for me.

The upside though is that he doesn’t bring me any of his catches. That’s lunch.

Yeah, McGoo. I can’t be sure, but I think you got totally burned.

I used to be a troll. I have a warm spot. Or perhaps I’m incontinent.

I’m staying up, watching Adam-12. Jesus, the Sixties were ugly, weren’t they?

Oh, lube for sure. When I pork trollers with my mighty Troll Trombone they don’t scream so much.

Found my porn stash, eh? Tell you what, just for you I’ll post some gay prolapsed anus butt sex.

Burned, eh? Funny – I don’t feel any different. Lemme go check my shorts.

so wide-stance mcgoo spends his days providing male strangers new material to jerk off to and i’m the gay one?

Heh. Plus ça change, plus ça staythesame. So, they reveal Officer Whatsisname (the one on the left) has a buddy on the force. So of course dude gets shot twenty seconds later. The Red Shirt Rule: writ larger than you remembered.

Wait! You trying to start something, Seth? What did your daddy tell you about kicking Vaseline?

Well, yeah Seth. Everybody’s gotta have a hobby.

I take it yours is carrying on infantile attacks on complete strangers – no doubt with your sweaty li’l wiener between your fingers. Are you in your mom’s basement?

Anyway – go for it. Meanwhile, you haven’t left a mark. Ya wanna scorch my undies you’ll have to do way better.

Huh. The officer on the left is looking pretty good these days.

Weaz – I really didn’t understand that last comment of yours. But that’s OK. I’m gonna assume it meant something profound.

C’mon, Seth. Stretch that li’l bwain of yours.

Another good hulu series “Bad Astronomy” Black Hole Death Rays, I so want one of those.

size queen to boot, eh?

word to the wise, this is what happens after widestance mcgoo is through with you:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/risque/prolapse.asp#photo

edit: this is really gross. don’t actually look at it. mcgoo’s got a whole collection he’s gonna post. don’t want to steal his thunder.

It’s an Adam-12 thing, McGoo. The officer who rode shotgun was an actor called Kent McCord, who must surely have had some work done, because he looks damn good 40 years later.

Oh, no Seth! I was just gettin’ warmed up there. For my final results you have to go to the morgue.

I see now, Weazel. I figured it was something obscure (to me).

BTW: Now I’m getting a mini-troll over at A&A. Nothin’ interesting though. Just cursing – “A** H****” stuff. Maybe they disapproved of the porn today?

Seth – get out of the toilet and fire up that oh-so-powerful Leftist brain of yours. Toilets are for child-trolls.

By the way, Weaz, I’m #2 for the google hit “Swiftboats for good nooky”. Be envious…

Funny – I don’t even remember saying it. Musta been on opiates.

Well, that was dull.

Adam 12, now there’s a blast from the past! I used to watch that when I was a kid. Emergency! came on right after it.

I remember the show being on, but was never a fan. Ah-ha, but who amongst us remembers the original Clutch Cargo, with the “lips from an alien world” effect?

Ok, I’m bored with Seth now…. He went right from BDS to personal insults. Worse, he quit trying to impress us with big words. Weasel, your last troll was much more interesting. If we all chip in, we can probably find you a better one. Seriously.

– Take a look at Carl Gordon in this thread over at AOS – http://minx.cc/?post=265389 – Now there’s a troll!! Plus – he wanders off into the woods all by himself – no litterbox! Think about it…

Oh, and McGoo –
Here’s what Weasel was talking about with the Red Shirt Rule.

Courtesy of Wikipedia:

A redshirt is a stock character, used frequently in science fiction but also in other genres, whose purpose is to die soon after being introduced, thus indicating the dangerous circumstances faced by the main characters. The term comes from the science fiction television series Star Trek, in which security officers wear red shirts and are often killed on missions under the aforementioned circumstances

The big words were marginally more interesting – that’s for sure. I blame myself for allowing/encouraging him to go to the toilet. Somehow we need to encourage high-quality trolls, ’cause Seth just didn’t cut it.

What do you suggest, Lokki? Set bait?

Ah-ha! As soon as I started reading it the whole Star-trek redshirt stuff came back to memory. Thanks. I’m very tired today.

Anarcho-syndicalism

Sinistroblogosphere

You know who’s really fun with trolls? Geoff. It’s exciting to see him interact with trolls!

Adjective-anarchists, Zeno weeps. Tis sad when a self-proclaimed anarchist advocates government solutions.

My proudest moment on the internet via a comment: ” You damn anarchist, you want to get rid of government.” Sniff… I still get misty eyed.

See, I’m doing this all wrong! I’m jist an’ amatchoor troll compared to Seth there. I’m not even a trol-ling. A-trolling. Git it? Git it?

But seriously guys, why the hate for meat? I mean, first it’s chicken(hawk), then it’s pork in congress, and ‘Lions for Lambs’, and now it’s damned Al-Bore cows? Sheeit, from now on, I’m gonna call earmarks ‘corn-ethanol’.

Reclaim our language! Animals is for eating, not insults!

No kidding. I’m tired of political slander and mud-slinging making me hungry.

Dang, I take a couple of days off to get some paying work done and the Weaz goes and gets her-sef a real live troll.

Hmmpph. Snazzle-frazzle racka-fritzle.

Speaking of which, you oughtta do a post on the profanity of Saturday morning cartoons, Weaz.

You know:

Snazzle-frazzle racka-fritzle!
Heavens to Murgatroyd!

Okay, I think I just exhausted my encyclopedic knowledge of Saturday morning cartoon profanity. May want to hold off on that post, Weaz.

McGoo, you sly devil; “ set Troll Bait?…” Heh™. As if you weren’t setting out every troll-bait in the blogosphere on your site…

Not to mention the whole Denny’s set-up… 🙂

Oh! Speak of Troll-baiters, and see who pops up! (Besides Steamboat) – Hello JW!

Cartoon Profanity? Great Suffering Succotash!

A special one for our host to start things off!
http://www.barbneal.com/wav/ltunes/yosemite/Sam12.wav

Found here (Just cut n’ paste and remove the space. Akismet gets cranky about things like this):

http: //www.barbneal.com/ysam.htm

Just got back from the pound. They have six kittens so teeny, I’m surprised that they’re weaned. D’you know, kittens that small aren’t even really all that cute. Well, they’re cute but they’re not a lot of fun. All they do is scream, shit and sleep. And eat, but that didn’t have an ‘s’ in it so it harshed my alliteration.

They’ve got one in there that’s about eight weeks old. That’s about the optimum kitten-to-fun ratio. At that age, they’re dancing and jiving and puffing up and putting on a whole Broadway show for you.

I spend most of my time with the old dudes, though. The kittens will just go flying out of there, but the old dudes are depressed and bored, whether they know they’re pretty doomed or not.

Lokki – all my subtle efforts have been pearls before swine, dammit! I almost NEVER get trolls – and never good ones – over at A&A. I figure they value it more for a porn&idiocy source than a source of troll victims.

Weaz, Gently are you avenged for me talkin’ incessantly about moving while you sit and wait. You mention kitties.

Kitten.

I want my new-home-finally-settled kitten.

I’ve wanted this kitten for – oh – ten years or so.

I’m gonna have her custom built. Here:

http://www.breedlist.com/breeders/egy.html#Missouri

Snazzle-frazzle racka-fritzle!

JWP – thought that was a quote from A Christmas Story, perhaps one of the Darrin McGavin gibberish-cursing scenes.

Loved ’em.

It is functionally impossible to be depressed around a kitten. I mean, unless it’s being crushed in a vise or something.

Never cuter than when they try their best to be menacing. “Y’arr! I’ll show you! I’ll make myself fluffier and hop around on my tiptoes!”

Exactly.

Kittens are just about perfect.

You said about 8 weeks, but I prefer ’em at 6-7 just to get a dab of that eat/shit/sleep behavior and then see it go away as the thing begins generating and burning infinite energy. Also, I think their “motor” i.e. their purr is loudest then. Or it seems so. Maybe it’s just bigger’n they are at that age.

Weas, I think you’re describing this sort of behavior… our kitten Pica, who we had to give away because she was slowly killing our older cat.

http://lemurking.wordpress.com/arrrr/

Yep. That’s the stuff.

Damien half-killed Charlotte thusly. Charlotte never had a kittenhood, thanks to being feral, and really never played. First she was too weak, and then she was too old. The whole idea of play — let alone rough play — was alien and offensive to her.

I haven’t liked to mention it, but the one upside of Damien taking a powder is that Charlotte is a much, much happier cat. She’s relaxed and affectionate again.

God, she hated him. From the moment she first clapped eyes on him. If he walked into a room, you could see her stiffen. If I tried to pet her in his presence, she would hiss and stalk away. He just harshed every little mellow she ever had.

That is exactly what happened to Silver d’Cat.