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I promised you agricultural equipment, and I will not let you down

One of my favorite things at these country shows are the collectors. They set up together at one end of the show (I suspect they neither pay nor are paid to be there) in little camping trailers stuffed full of…whatever it is they collect. Spanners (that’s wrenches to you and me). Animal traps. Doll heads. Oil cans. Radios. They don’t sell anything, they just display a collection. Of one thing. Usually retired folks, they go around the fairs doing this by day and presumably whoop it up over camp fires after closing time.

If you show the slightest interest, you will always hear something worth knowing. I love this. I love listening to someone wax lyrical about some silly, incredibly banal thing he or she has fallen in love with. I go down the row and talk to every single one of them. And take pictures. That makes us both happy.

So these are from Axe Man’s collection. The ball-end thing is a pig stunner. You conk pigs over the head with it. The next thing over is a pole-axe. That sticky-outty bit is a hollow cylinder, with a blood channel cut in the side. So…stun, then pole-axe.

So, there you go. When you talk of being pole-axed by a bit of news, that’s what you’re talking. Um, ew?


Comment from Oceania
Time: May 28, 2013, 11:28 pm

Good Morning All!

Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: May 28, 2013, 11:41 pm

My favorite tool is the mattock variation of the grub hoe, followed closely by the Pulaski.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: May 28, 2013, 11:53 pm

But can you find a glaive-guisarme? Or a voulge? Perhaps a bohemian ear-spoon?

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 29, 2013, 12:08 am

Pulaski is a tool?

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: May 29, 2013, 12:10 am

Aye, she’s a right jubbly old pig stunner, she is.

Comment from Spad13
Time: May 29, 2013, 1:05 am

I bet that thing makes a pretty good minor noble smacker when necessary.

Comment from Oceania
Time: May 29, 2013, 1:44 am

Ango-Saxon war toys anyone?

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: May 29, 2013, 3:39 am

Sweas, yeah it is a tool used for wildland firefighting.


And Spad13 is right. Your average feudal army consisted of nobles, mounted knights, bowmen, and a levy of your average farmers who would not know what to do with a sword if given one. But they did understand farm tools. So they brought them.

An armored knight with sword and lance is pretty well invulnerable to the peasants as long as he is mounted. However, get the bugger on the ground, and it is a matter of finding a can opener. The process generally involved something thin and pointy inserted into joints and eyeholes, or something like a pole axe or bloody great mallet.

Given the alternative, it is not surprising that the noble-types were great fans of ransom. Two problems. Surrendering in combat has always been one of the hardest things to successfully accomplish on the battlefield, because it is easier to kill and loot them than take a prisoner [if a peasant took a noble prisoner, the peasant’s noble would make off with him and not share the ransom]. The other problem is convincing the peasants that you were trying to surrender. Your attempts to do so probably would be in a language they would not understand, and would be more than a bit muffled from the armor you are in while doing an imitation of an inverted turtle in the mud.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from Nina
Time: May 29, 2013, 3:46 am

I love things like this, too.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: May 29, 2013, 4:56 am

I’m thinking about applying to have my name legally changed to “Pig Stunner II”.

Comment from mojo
Time: May 29, 2013, 5:16 am

Wildland firefighters: cuttin’ line and kickin’ ash

Comment from Brad Ervin
Time: May 29, 2013, 11:59 am

when we lived over there we would take American visitors, or anyone that would agree to go, to the carboot sale at Banham Zoo Sunday morning (don’t tell the Pastor). The assemblage of stuff and sheer variety and novelty was mindboggling. And there is a winery/cidery right across the road. The zoo specializes in owls, I believe.

The saddest thing I ever saw was a gent that had several really nice, well, they were nice once, American pistols suitably neutered by the authorities. These once proud emblems of American freedom had been cut, welded, pinned
and had their orifices jammed full. A sad moment to an otherwise bright day out in the Suffolk countryside.


The website isn’t very informative unless you are looking to go there.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 29, 2013, 7:22 pm

We’re never up early enough for the boot sales 🙁

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