sweasel.com

The observant (um, not in the Jewish sense) will notice a can there labelled ‘Branston’.

A year or so ago there was a huge flurry of nonsense about how they had a new recipe that outdid Heinz.

It does not. They are horrible. If someone wants a tin of Branston beans, let me know.

Meanwhile, in a study a few years ago, it was discovered that Heinz beans are the most fartiferous on the market. Yes, really. Someone paid academics to research this.

Ain’t edukashun a grand thing?

As you can tell, I am quite unrepentant.

After all… The Stoat hasn’t shown you her shelf of horesmeat chilli….

So…the beanz came with the cottage?

Oh, no. Uncle B keeps bringing the damn things in the house.

“Meanwhile, in a study a few years ago, it was discovered that Heinz beans are the most fartiferous on the market. ”

From my childhood, a poignant ditty:

Beans, beans, the magical fruit!
They make your rear end go tooty toot toot!

Well, it’s poignant to me!!

🙂

For all the Heinz Beans, you need to make some room on that shelf for B&M Brown Bread

I seem to remember that baked beans came with a can of brown bread attached to the bottom. This was in the 60s or 70s. I always thought that can of bread was the best part of dinner. I’ve haven’t seen the can combo in a store for 40+ years.

I’ve actually made homemade baked beans before. It’s easy and far better than anything canned. Probably even better with a chunk of horse fat thrown in.

I know I’m odd and a poor reader too, but even moving my lips I had a lot of trouble comprehending this sentence from that McDonald’s article:

“McDonald’s uses the ketchup at many stores around the world, though only in Pittsburgh and Minneapolis inside the US.

I understand the individual words, but are they saying that McDonalds does not use Heinz ketchup in the US except for two cities??? Can that possibly be true? I’ve haven’t been to McDonalds in probably 7 or 8 years, so I can’t disprove the craziness of this statement personally. I just always assumed that mandatory use of Heinz ketchup was on that third tablet that Moses dropped.”Thou shalt have no other catsups before me!

Along with thou shalt eat only Heinz Beanz in the King James version of the tablets no doubt.

@JeffS – Hey, that doesn’t scan. Are you sure about “rear end” or could it be “butt” or “ass”?

I learned an alternate version:

Beans, beans, the musical fruit.
The more you eat, the more you toot!

I’ve never understood why people like Heinz beanzs when Goya frijoles negros are so much better and less expensive to boot.

I’ll admit to an adolescent fascination with the Maja Desnuda by the famous Spanish artist Francisco Goya but I doubt that has anything to do with my appreciation for Goya beans.

JeffS, I learnt’it different:

Beans, Beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot

The more you toot
The better you feel

So, eat some beans,
and let ‘er squeal!

Stoaty,

I was actually expecting a Museum of Beanz…cuz normally that is how you (and The English) roll. I feel let down 🙁

It seems like a silly reason to drop Heinz, but it’s a completely mediocre ketchup anyway. Hellmann’s beats it hands down.

Al: Because frijoles negros aren’t packed in a sauce of brown sugary goodness.

My boyfriend won’t buy Heinz products of any kind because Democrats.

Seems to me like I’ve had Heinz ketchup packets from McDonald’s before, and I’ve never been to one in Pitt or Minneapolis. And I’m pretty sure that the fistfuls of Heinz packets in the glove compartment of my aunt’s car came from McDonald’s. But maybe I’m thinking of BK. Who wrecks McDonald’s fries with ketchup, anyway?

My pantry is a wreck. Maybe I’ll work on it tomorrow. I need to inventory the spices before the holidays or I’ll end up buying more ginger when I need poultry seasoning instead.

That’s the version I learnt as a youngling, Uncle Al and Feynmangroupie. I admit, your versions are better. 😀

Is Rupert Branston this strange wealthy dude who wanted to share a spliff at Choom House after Barry’s fundraiser? I was thinking records, airlines, phones and a rocket but maybe he has his paw in bean cannery too.

Any swinging housewife can clean a pantry (not that they frequently do). To organize an ammo dump, sort hoarded 2nd Amendment Tackle, clean around the lathe and welding supplies, now that takes organization, talent and experience in logistics.

Not that wimmenfolk cannot be helpful. There are sandwiches to be made, phones answered, FedeX guy needs a signature, this that and the other.
Wimmen. Without them, the worldwide market for handbags, shoes and chocolate would fold. And it would take us a while to crank up son cloning to industrial scale.

Jinx!

You owe me a soda, Uncle Al ;D

Beans, beans, the magical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot.
The more you toot the better you feel,
So let’s eat beans for every meal!

Nina’s childhood version.

Apparently I just made an injudicious move that annoyed a cat, as 4 claws were just inserted into that flimsy bag that surrounds all the meat I’m made of. Uh oh…if you don’t hear from me by tomorrow, send Meow Mix.

Dropping Heinz Ketchup might well be a mistake for McDonalds. You don’t change a key ingredient on core menu items lightly.

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/348162/Man-OBSESSED-with-baked-beans-changes-name-to-Captain-Beany

Since Salsa has overtaken ketchup as the condiment of choice in the US this entire post is rotten tomatoes.
http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/food_department/Salsa-.html

Nobody’s mentioned this. Whose bad behavior was it that got you and Jack exiled to the kitchen??

In Barry Lyndon’s days, it was the dangerous, clever and swashbuckling Captain Feeney.

Now in the blighted days of Gordon Brown and metrofeckshual Cameroon, it is Captain Beany.

From Planet Beanus.

Ouch.

Branston Beans—for some lucky Trick or Treater tonight 🙂

Uncle Badger- “her shelf of horesmeat chilli….”

Did you transpose the E and S, or forget the W at the start of the word? Inquiring minds want to know.

Nina- In the part of the midwest where I grew up that little ditty used the phrase “musical fruit”, not magical. That change cleverly ties into the whole tooting thing.

Our version was “Beans, beans, good for your heart/The more you eat, the more you fart” etc..

I too want to know what bad behaviour led to the banishment. I have visions of Weasel and Kitten sheepishly filing out of the living room after having been discovered in an act of mildly destructive badness, like miscreant toddlers.

Hare’s Meat, mustelid staple.
In the absence of hares, any… fluffy… small mammal will suffice. Or a flightless bird.

They ain’t fussy, no sirree. Takes a lot of protein to fuel up the predator’s version of a hummingbird.

Set up Autofill @ October 31, 2013, 2:34 am:
Is Rupert Branston this strange wealthy dude who wanted to share a spliff at Choom House after Barry’s fundraiser? I was thinking records, airlines, phones and a rocket but maybe he has his paw in bean cannery too.

No, that’s Sir Richard Branson. No T. He does have an unusual array of interests. But then, for a while the trash from my building was being hauled by a French media conglomerate. Really.

Oh, it’s GOT to be Heinz! Excellent on toast, and I always chuck a small can in when making lamb shank stew.

They’re building a McDonald’s where a Little Chef used to be, about 45 seconds (by sprint) from my house. The fact that they’re not using Heinz tomato ketchup any more won’t take away from how awesome that is.

I know their food is insipid-bland, unhealthy, and looks like it was prepared by someone with dementia, but sometimes it’s just funny to stroll in there with a head full of illegal chemicals, wearing your gym gear, and order 5 Big Macs, and when they’re looking at you like they’re expecting you burst into hysterics, say, ‘Oh and a chocolate milk shake.’

Then you pay by debit card, get your pin number wrong twice successively, and just as their hand is hovering over the panic button that isn’t there, get it right, and say, ‘Can we make this quick, please? I’ve got important business to attend to.’

I would have preferred a Burger King because their fries are slightly less shit, but under the circumstances, you have to make do with what you’ve got.

Holy shit. Baked beans with pork sausages? What are you, royalty?

I think I’ve tried the Branston baked beans. The fact that I can’t remember what they were like says a lot.

Their brown sauce is garbage too. HP could knock it right the fuck out just by looking at it.

I, and only me, shall be the True Mr. Bean™ forevermore.

*slowly backs away from Gibby*

You men eat your dinner
Eat your pork and beans
I eat more chicken
Than any man ever seen, yeah, yeah!

Something has gone badly wrong with Burger King in the UK. The food is always cold.

Maybe they try to reduce their carbon footprint. Because, polar bears.

I think Gibby has been possessed by the ghost of Hunter S Thompson.

Or maybe it’s the mushrooms.

Wait til he sees the bats.

Yeah, I soak my own beans. I’d grown ’em myself, but I ain’t got a patch. Shit from a can, pshaw!

Spad 13 I’m just waiting for the moment when we screech to a halt, turn to him and intone “We’re not like the others. We’re your frieeeeeends”

And a pox on Johnny Depp for his crap version.

There is a baked bean museum in the United Kingdom!

http://www.bakedbeanmuseumofexcellence.org.uk

I know, cos’ I am the curator!

Captain Beany 🙂

Holy cow, you guys — it’s Captain Beany! It’s an honor, Sir!

Hi S.Weasel!

If you love baked beans …. please feel free to visit his other wacky website – http://www.captainbeany.com.

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KatyPosted on March 20, 2013 at 9:52 pmThis seems like a great idea and something I’ve srtetad to do already as times have become tighter for cash. I used to make fab nachos with doritos and all their dips and salsas, but I really have become fond of sainsburys own tortilla chips, they taste a lot better than doritos and are about 50p for the same sort of size bag! I also had a great idea to reuse some t shirts as i had seen an idea online; and have made tassles on them for my holiday this summer. You just snip the bottom into strips then knot, great way to use what you already have!