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Good children never put stoats up their nose

good children never put stoats up their nose

I got up this morning and cleaned the fridge. Spontaneously. I think I might be ill.

sock it to me

Comments


Comment from XBradTC
Time: July 12, 2008, 10:35 am

Yeah, but just think how ill you would have been if you hadn’t cleaned out some of the biology experiments in there.

 


Comment from Dave in Texas
Time: July 12, 2008, 11:28 am

Winehouse. Somewhere, Janis Joplin looks down, and nods.

 


Comment from Gnus
Time: July 12, 2008, 1:28 pm

Just think, Sweasel. Now every time you open the fridge you’ll be so proud.

Janis was never as wimpy as Amy winehouse. Janis could’ve stuck big weasels in her nose and rolled right on. She was just that tough.

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: July 12, 2008, 4:17 pm

RIP Tony Snow

Signing on the innertubes today and seeing that he passed was a slap in the face.

 


Comment from Alice H
Time: July 12, 2008, 4:21 pm

Will you do mine next, please?

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 12, 2008, 6:25 pm

Tony Snow! Oh, gosh, I hadn’t seen that PnB. That’s awful. And quick. Last I heard, he was on the mend.

 


Comment from BGG
Time: July 12, 2008, 9:01 pm

That’s a pretty scary image.

I was very surprised to hear about Tony Snow today. Either time goes by quickly in my old age or his diseased progressed really fast. Very sad. My aunt went the same way last year.

As for Amy Winehouse, you have to wonder how long she’ll last. There’s probably a betting pool on it somewhere.

 


Comment from LemurKing
Time: July 13, 2008, 1:34 am

Yes, but in one of her lucid moments, didn’t Winehouse start a betting pool?

Tony Snow going did majorly suck. I was also under the impression that he was doing good. I couldn’t believe the AP’s crappy obit. I’m still steamed.

Weas, fridge cleaning is scary business. I’m reminded of one of the Naked Gun movies where Nielson reaches into the fridge and pulls out some chinese takeout – he sniffs it and his eyes cross and he hits the floor – all the while Priscilla Presley is clueless. There’s a guy I’m hoping lives forever. What a boon to comedy.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 13, 2008, 7:33 am

Winehouse (whom I’ve always considered hugely overrated) was on UK TV recently, live from ghastly Glastonbury. She was out of her skull – incoherent, out of tune, wobbling all over the place.

I actually find it seriously offensive that she is regarded as some sort of media heroine for destroying herself in public. Contempt would be more appropriate.

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: July 13, 2008, 7:35 am

I had an imaginary S. Weasel visit in a dream last night. It was…very strange.

***dream sequence on***

Stoaty wanted to write about an online company that sold variety packs of real live puppies through the mail. In order to get all the info Stoaty needed, she had to actually place an order. She used my name and address, with the intention of canceling it right after. But the order went through, and I was shipped 2 dozen puppies.

Stoaty met me at the post office warehouse where I was supposed to pick them up. The puppies were tiny and sedated, and packed into form-fitting gray packing foam, a dozen to a box.

They woke up when you lifted them out. Each box had 12 different puppy breeds, and together we unpacked them, lifting them out of their boxes. Of course they started wondering all over the warehouse and getting into trouble, and attracting people who wanted to adopt them.

In my dream, Weazey was very tall and young looking, and was dressed in outlandish clothes that attracted a lot of attention for their bold colors and patterns. Every time I looked at her in my dream, I noticed something very out of the ordinary that I hadn’t seen before, like she was some sort of shape-shifting eclectic chameleon.

**dream sequence off**

I woke up right after that. Afraid.

 


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: July 13, 2008, 8:01 am

Did you check yourself for bite marks, Pupster? 😉

 


Comment from Pupster
Time: July 13, 2008, 8:32 am

Mornin’ Badger.

No bite marks, just mail-order puppies in distress. Stoaty was particularly fond of the Bulldog puppy…

 


Comment from Lokki
Time: July 13, 2008, 8:38 am

I had a dream last night
What a lovely dream it was –
I dreamed puppies were all about;
I was happy in a sea of paws.

Why does everybody smile
when I told them my dream?
I guess we all are the same,
in wanting that kind of scene…

I dreamed puppies were barking last night-
What a lovely bow-wowing it was.
I thought I´d woof along all night;
It was unforgettable because:

All of the puppies were playing together;
Cute little puppies each light as a feather.
What a lovely dream it was. . .
I was happy in a sea of paws. . .
Happy in a sea of paws. . .

With apologies to John Sebastian of Lovin’ Spoonful

http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/i/ihadadream.shtml

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: July 13, 2008, 12:38 pm

Very odd pupster. My vision of weasel is the same, but with avg height and more subdued attire.

Lokki, I much prefer your version of that song.

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 13, 2008, 1:29 pm

I was the shortest member of my family, but it’s a tall family. Uncle B and I are both exactly the same height, about 5’10”. I hate to admit it, but had he been shorter, that would have been a problem for me.

I dressed stupid in college, but I did go to art school. My current uniform is sneakers, jeans (black for work), t-shirts and a kung fu shirt worn as a jacket.

So, yeah, I guess I still dress stupid.

 


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: July 13, 2008, 8:06 pm

I’m 5’1″ and I enforce a “Must Be 5’10” Or Taller To Ride” rule. It makes the tall girls mad, because there are fewer tall guys for them, but I just remind them that we’re competing, not cooperating. “Gitcher own tall guy,” I tell ’em.

 


Comment from kishnevi
Time: July 13, 2008, 8:10 pm

Dang, SW, you’re almost as tall as me, and I’m above average for a male.

BTW, my routine is to always do one household chore first thing after breakfast. This allows me to say I’ve done something for the day, and spend the rest of the day loafing around while self righteously ignoring the 999 other household chores I didn’t get around to doing, and probably never will get around to doing.

That, or do a bunch of stuff in one day, and feel glad the next day at work that I’m not home doing more housework. But even that leaves about 990 other chores that will never get done.

 


Comment from kishnevi
Time: July 13, 2008, 8:16 pm

And it seems that by moving to England you’ll be missing your chance to see Gandalf as nature (or at least Shakespeare) made him
http://tv.msn.com/tv/article.aspx/?news=322563&GT1=28103

 


Comment from Allen
Time: July 14, 2008, 12:58 am

Ha, height. I went in the Army at 6’5″ came out at 6’4″ Apparently, if you jump out of enough aircraft you compress.

Wow, that was a bit of useless information. Speaking of useless info, saw the damndest thing today. I just got out of the mountains, where it’s open range up there.

Buncha cows chasing a bear this afternoon. That was a serious WTF. Lumme some critters. 🙂

 


Comment from porknbean
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:11 am

Too bad you didn’t have a camera for that, Allen. That would be funny to see as one generally think of cows as rather placid.

Speaking of critters, came home tonight and my daughter informed me that the stupid rabbit ate the crap out of both Delphinians that I planted last week. Not the bunny…his mother. Grrrrr…. Don’t know if I can salvage it or if I
should buy another – if the store still has any. Better find the chickenwire too.

Height? I am the tallest girl out of the family I was born in to…and the shortest person, at 5’4″, in my family now. My chirrens call me ‘stumpy’.

 


Comment from Gregory the First
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:44 am

5’10” here. Fairly above avg height for a Chinaman. So, where’s my free ride, MP? 🙂

Critters (inc dogs) belong on plates. Not necessarily mine, but on plates nonetheless. I understand rabbit satay is particularly good…

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 14, 2008, 7:10 am

Doesn’t surprise me, Allen. I was going to do a parachute drop for a friend’s 30th b’day. Reading up on it, it said that landing was like jumping off a one-story garage. And I thought, “well, that’s not something I would do.”

Cows are funny critters. We had one attack the tractor once. I don’t know why she took exception to it that one time, but it really pissed her off for some reason. She went tearing across the field smack into it, head first. I don’t think either one suffered permanent harm, though it was touch and go for the cow.

Plenty of peen on television where I’m going, Kishnevi. I was like, “Oh my god! There’s a winkie on TV, Uncle B! Make it go away!”

 


Comment from Princess Bernie
Time: July 14, 2008, 10:02 am

Cows will chase anything that runs. I speak from experience.

I’m 5’4″ and MWG is 6’4″. I loves the tall guy (we are getting hitched August 16). I’m the tallest female in my family.

 


Comment from JuliaM
Time: July 14, 2008, 11:14 am

Better avoid the Mere Down Falconry, Wiltshire, on your trip to the UK…

Gulp!

🙂

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 14, 2008, 11:40 am

Whoa! I’m guessing, weasel had its back broken when it was snatched; otherwise, it wouldn’t go so gently down the owl’s gullet. Where did I read about the…eagle, I think it was, which had a mummified weasel attached to its chest? I wish I could remember the story straight. As I remember it, the weasel had gotten away from the eagle’s talons and was crawling toward its head when it sank its little weasely teeth in the eagle’s breast and died.

 


Comment from Allen
Time: July 14, 2008, 12:01 pm

What did you get for your birfday? Why, I got a weasel in a kung fu shirt that parachuted into the party. 🙂

Now that would be memorable.

 


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 14, 2008, 12:42 pm

Oh God….. I just took a good gander at the pic, and it looks like a bunch of weasels heading up to oblivion in the worst hell possible. And I thought Lemiwinks had it bad…..

 


Comment from JuliaM
Time: July 14, 2008, 1:03 pm

“Where did I read about the…eagle, I think it was, which had a mummified weasel attached to its chest?”

Here, perhaps…?

 


Comment from JuliaM
Time: July 14, 2008, 1:03 pm

Heh. It appears Laurie Anderson read it too … 🙂

 


Comment from Allen
Time: July 14, 2008, 1:11 pm

PnB, I wish I had caught it on my camera. Happened too fast. I was driving down the little access road to my place when the bear shoots across the road. Followed by a number of running cows. I hit the brakes and watched slack-jawed as they kept going downhill.

 


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 14, 2008, 1:34 pm

Interesting, I just saw a truck form the Colorado Dept of Wildlife hauling a bear trap up into the hills. Probably a black bear that got too close to someone’s toy poodle up around the Broadmoor…….

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 14, 2008, 1:52 pm

Thank you Julia! That was it! The internet shore am weird. Somewhere on line, you could probably find every bit of junk that’s slinking around my hindbrain.

 


Comment from Allen
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:08 pm

Scubafreak, there are a number of small towns down around the lake near my place. Every so often a bear will find their way into town. Two years ago the Fish and Game people drugged little BooBoo and captured him. They ended up putting him down, people were outraged. The Fish and Game people’s resoning: we didn’t want to release him as some hunter might eat drug tainted meat. WTF?

My second immediate thought was what kind of wine do you serve with bear?

 


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:16 pm

They usually won’t put a bear down in Colorado unless it is a serious repeat offender, or harms a human. The Drug-tainted meat bit sounds like an excuse, because the tranq would metabolize in a day or so…..

Oh, and did you ever see “The Edge” with Alec Baldwin and Anthony Hopkins? It was fun when they were leaning against the bear they had just killed with their spears, taking about what would be better to season the meat, Salt of Gunpowder………

Easily one of my favorite movies of all time…..

 


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:18 pm

Hey, does anyone else have guys driving around their state parks in cop cars marked ENVIRONMENTAL POLICE? I don’t know when they started that, but I’ve seen them in parks all over Rhode Island. I always want to point and laugh, but I’m afraid they’ll pop me with a trank gun or something.

 


Comment from Jill
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:20 pm

“My second immediate thought was what kind of wine do you serve with bear?” Why, caBEARnet, of course.

 


Comment from Jill
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:20 pm

Or perhaps a bit of BarBEARa…>heh<

 


Comment from Allen
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:22 pm

They usually don’t here in California either. Normally they take the worst offenders from Yosemite and other National Parks and re-locate them to the south… near me. Bear season was 4 months off anyway. Maybe they were worried about bear poachers.

Which reminds me of an old joke…

Curmudgeon is in a bar having a beer when two hikers walk in.

Curmudgeon: What’s them bells for around your ankle?
Hikers: To warn off bears on the trail.
Curmudgeon: That explains a puzzle.
Hikers: What puzzle?
Curmudgeon: Why there was bells in bear shit.

 


Comment from Allen
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:32 pm

Jill, I love the Barbeara one. I grow Barbera, I think I’ll put that name on some of the labels just to see if people notice.

 


Comment from Jill
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:48 pm

Allen, how cool…and BTW, loved the bells joke!

 


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: July 14, 2008, 2:55 pm

Allen, we have a different version in Colorado:

The hikers were at the trailhead, getting a safety briefing from the park ranger.

“Now, you all have your bells and your pepper spray, I see. Let me tell you about what you may see out there.

We have two main types of bear in the forests around these parts. We have Black bears and Brown bears. Now, the Black bears are a bit more docile than the browns, eating primarily Honey, Berries and insects, and generally leave a stool with berry seeds. the Brown bears are a bit larger, and more agressive, an leave stools with little bells, and smelling of pepper spray…..”

 

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