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A tree fell on me today. It wasn’t a very big tree, and I was whaling away on it with a hammer and a masonry chisel at the time, so it had justification. Still. When a tree falls on one, one feels one has the right to sulk.

So I’m sulking.

And drinking.


Comment from Mitchell
Time: February 25, 2014, 11:39 pm

A…hammer and chisel???
No offense Stoaty but you suck as a lumberjack.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 25, 2014, 11:42 pm

Long story. It was a damaged tree from a storm and somebody was on the other side attacking it with an electric chainsaw. Once the chainsaw bit halfway through, the weight of the tree bore down on the blade and froze it and we couldn’t get it out. So I was in there with the chisel really just trying to pry it open a little and free the chainsaw.

Which is why I didn’t see it coming when it go bust and came down on me.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: February 26, 2014, 12:43 am

If a tree falls on a weasel and the whole internet knows it, does it leave an impression???

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: February 26, 2014, 12:58 am

Not even a bruise. I thought it would be a cracker, but no.

I’m a little sore, though.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: February 26, 2014, 1:22 am


Sounds rather like the tree was out for a bit of payback – “…if I’m a-goin’, I’ma taken somebunny wiv’ me!!…”

No runnybabbits being currently available, it tried a whack at a weasel, y’know?

Not all that amusing, I know – but it’s late, and I’ve had a rare ol’ day of it at work, and now must trudge
‘crost the campus to the more-remote parking (#@%**$^% “visiting fireman”-types took up all the nearby-parking before I arrived in the AyEm…) –

Anyway – it’s well it was a small tree, anyway. Flattened weasel is no joke, and makes for very poor blog-posting.

P’raps next time attach a bit o’ rope, and pull the arborial offender down from a mite more distant venue…

Comment from QuasiModo
Time: February 26, 2014, 1:23 am

You’re supposed to cut out a wedge with the chainsaw, not just saw straight across.

Comment from dissent555
Time: February 26, 2014, 1:39 am

Careful with the power tools, y’all. Thems can be dangerous.

Comment from JeffS
Time: February 26, 2014, 1:55 am

Really. You chopped a tree down. In February.

So, three questions:

1. Was it a cherry tree?
2. Did you lie about it?
3. Are you running for President?

Comment from weasel tablet
Time: February 26, 2014, 2:16 am

It was a plum tree. It blew down on Christmas Eve eve. It was still alive but parallel to the earth.

Bruise coming up now.

Comment from Deborah
Time: February 26, 2014, 3:37 am

Ouch … you’ll probably have a fine crop of bruises in a few days. A nice warm bath with a Epsom salts! It really helps.

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: February 26, 2014, 3:50 am

“It was still alive but parallel to the earth”.
Define fall?
Are we talking inches?

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: February 26, 2014, 6:35 am

From past experience, plum wood makes for some delicious grilled &/or smoked meats & fishes.

Comment from Pupster
Time: February 26, 2014, 11:18 am

Pressed Weasel with Plum Puree

Comment from Mojo
Time: February 26, 2014, 4:52 pm

Technique, my dear. Needs some improvement, I’d say.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: February 26, 2014, 8:30 pm

A bow saw is your friend for light tree-felling. Under a tenner at B&Q.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: February 26, 2014, 9:38 pm

@Stark Dickflüssig – Second! Fruit tree wood is wonderful for smoking anything, but particularly trout. And pear is at the top of my list. Great stuff!

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: February 27, 2014, 12:48 am

I never taunt a fellow mustlied. I am just glad you are OK.

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: February 27, 2014, 1:53 am

@Unka Al: Sand-hills Plum makes the finest salmon I have ever eaten. However, I can also heartily recommend leaving the fallen Black Walnut branches for the fireplace (unless you like the taste of scorched vomit permeating your food (I’m looking at all you Durian eaters out there)).

Comment from bad cat robot
Time: February 27, 2014, 10:35 pm

Ack! Starkers said the D-word! (Deploys hazmat suit…)

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: February 28, 2014, 12:11 am

Had a Korean roommate who was constantly buying (& then throwing away uneaten) those hideous things. She claimed that they tasted good, but all I ever noticed was the fridge & the trash reeking to high heaven.

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