web analytics

Round 62: the new lambs are here!

Well, Mickey Rrrrrooney copped it at last, LesterIII takes the dick! Rooney’s body has yet to be claimed. Highest paid actor of the late 30s and early 40s, he leaves an estate of $18,000. Seems one of his stepsons made off with the rest. He left the eighteen grand to another stepson. His eight children he deliberately disinherited in a will signed a few weeks ago. So nobody feels like stepping up to bury the old coot.

Think of this next time family gets on your last nerve ending: at least you aren’t the kid of a Hollywood star.

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.


Comment from AltBBrown
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:00 pm

Billy Graham for the poached dick!

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:00 pm

Harry “Kochsucker” Reid

Comment from Fawn
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:01 pm

Wilko Johnson – Game of Thrones star, guitarist in band Dr.


Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:01 pm

John McCain

Comment from Montenegro
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:02 pm

One more round with Muhammad ALI!!!!

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:04 pm

Hugh Hefner!

Comment from Hutch
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:12 pm

Eli Wallach

Comment from JeffS
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:14 pm

Jimmy Carter. Even if he is no longer the Worst President Evah™, the old fart is a waste of oxygen, and always has been.

Comment from Michael
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:20 pm

Rosalyn Carter

Comment from Davem123
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:25 pm

I’ll keep Elijah Cummings.

Comment from physics geek
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:30 pm

Keir Dullea once again. He can’t outlive me, right?

Comment from Ripley
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:36 pm

Luise Rainer…

Comment from Bigsmarthuman
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:42 pm

Nancy Pelosi

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:44 pm

Although this slow-moving train wreck that is the Obama regime is fun to watch, I want to see what his funeral will be like. Mind you, I’m not dismissing how much more entertainment President Plugs ‘n Veneers Biden will bring to The Bully Pulpit. Plus, We would get to replace Moochie with Dr. (I’m not a real doctor) Jill, so winning!

Comment from thefritz
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:50 pm

Olivia de Havilland

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:52 pm

Ol’ Red-diaper-baby Crazy-Insaney Janey Fonda (of whom no one in their Right Mind is fond-ah)…preferably, chokin’ to death whilst drooling over random thoughts of Far-Left evil-doers doin’ evil…

Sorry, SomeVeg, but I jus’ gotta – the ol’ witch is now gettin’ just old enough, there’s a fair-to-Midland chance I could win…oh, be easy-like, my wishful heart!

(Maybe somebunny wants to chip-in a nomination for either Das HillaryBeest, the Political Disaster That Sometimes (Badly) Impersonates A Woman…or maybe ol’ Eric “Fast ‘N Nastious” Holder, the nominal “Head” of the Department Of (In)Justice??…)

Comment from thefritz
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:53 pm

I almost picked the hate monger Hank Aaron…SOB needs to go.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: April 11, 2014, 6:59 pm

(Sorry, didn’t proof-read well enough – that “Nastious” with reference to Holder should have been “Nastiest” – dang new keyboard, doesn’t spell much better than the old one…)

Comment from BJM
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:00 pm

I’m gonna switch it up and pick Al “The Rat” Sharpton.

Comment from Cindermutha
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:04 pm

George Soros

Comment from armybrat
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:10 pm

Mumbles Mennino, former mayor of beantown.

Comment from armybrat
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:11 pm

man, and how much work do you people have to screw off to get in this early? if it wasn’t for the fact I’ve seen all my patients and just have a little bit of paperwork left to do, I wouldn’t have been in for another few hours!

Comment from StPatrick_TN
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:33 pm

Bob Schieffer

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:38 pm

Can’t give the exact name, but it should be possible to identify the specific person after it happens:

The first Federal agent to open fire on the Bundy Family in Nevada; by a bolt of lightning if there is a just G-d, or other means.

Comment from biztecka
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:43 pm

Ann B. Davis

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:43 pm

Prioritize, armybrat, prioritize!

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:47 pm

Well, since Mr. Bridges has chosen to put the touch (using the obligatory ten-foot pole) on Hanoi-strain Jane, I am forced to go for the eternal internet glories of winning with Fidel. I have it on good authority that this is the month during which Communist refrigerators begin to fail from heat-overload…..if true there will be another April ressurection on record, albeit more of a “dead-cat-bounce” in Fidel’s case.

Just in case some of the kids haven’t heard of him, I mean Fidel Castro, Dictator of Cuba, more commonly known as Hugo Chavez’ older brother

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:48 pm

Not Ann B. Davis! She’s kind of my spirit animal.

Comment from biztecka
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:50 pm

Oh, I’m sorry! It just came to me. Let’s hope I lose.

Comment from mojo
Time: April 11, 2014, 7:51 pm

Kathleen Sibelius, on the park bench

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 11, 2014, 8:14 pm

Well, if you win, biztecka, your punishment shall be — a portrait of Ann B. Davis!

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: April 11, 2014, 8:30 pm

Valerie Harper

Comment from Rodent
Time: April 11, 2014, 8:31 pm

Lois Lerner.

If it looks like she’s gonna crack, it’s Fort Marcy Park for her.

Comment from Janna
Time: April 11, 2014, 8:47 pm

Kirk Douglas — again.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: April 11, 2014, 8:56 pm

Cattle Rancher Cliven Bundy. He’s become a Cause Celeb for the States Rights / Sovereign citizen crowd, and the Feds are NOT going to allow a figurehead like that to live if they can help it. BLM will murder him at the first viable opportunity. Besides, BLM has already sold leases on the area for Gas and Oil drilling (Tortoises my ass), so the faster they toe tag Bundy, the faster they get their pay day..

Comment from Tibby
Time: April 11, 2014, 8:58 pm

Nancy Reagan

Comment from mandel bread
Time: April 11, 2014, 8:58 pm

Al Molinaro for the artful dick.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: April 11, 2014, 9:08 pm

Hmmm… my Carol Channing didn’t show up.

Comment from jic
Time: April 11, 2014, 9:11 pm

Clive James

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: April 11, 2014, 9:24 pm

David Rockefeller Sr.
It’s time, Dave.

Comment from Thursby
Time: April 11, 2014, 10:00 pm

Chuck Berry

Comment from CrabbyOldBat
Time: April 11, 2014, 10:03 pm

Jerry Lewis. Nothing against the man, but I would like to see French people cry.

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: April 11, 2014, 10:08 pm

HRH Prince Phillip

Comment from LesterIII
Time: April 11, 2014, 10:20 pm

Casey Kasem. Poor bastard is surrounded by entrenched gold-diggers…

Comment from platypuss
Time: April 11, 2014, 10:44 pm

It’s so easy- linda ronstadt

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: April 11, 2014, 11:02 pm

Debbie Reynolds? (Sadly.)

Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: April 11, 2014, 11:09 pm

Stephen Hawking, already.

Comment from dissent555
Time: April 11, 2014, 11:10 pm

I’m poaching Robert Mugabe.

Actually, that sounds like a good idea anytime.

Comment from m
Time: April 11, 2014, 11:13 pm

poaching eli wallach

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 11, 2014, 11:31 pm

We shall see, Platypuss. People can get to that last hurdle and then just hang on and hang on.

When the Dead Pool was new, Zsa Zsa was the favorite pick, because she was widely believed to have one foot in the grave (and the other had just been amputated).

That was, what — two, three years ago now?

Comment from cobrakai99
Time: April 11, 2014, 11:38 pm

I’ll take Hillary Clinton. Did you see how slow her reaction to that shoe was?

Comment from Nanny 1
Time: April 11, 2014, 11:39 pm

Back to Lauren “Baby” Bacall.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: April 12, 2014, 12:07 am

I stuck with my standard Rockefeller death wish. I thought I might pick Cliven Bundy, but I really, really, reallyreallyreally didn’t want to win that way, as he would most definitely not be the only one down. The most satisfactory way for that mess to end would be for the local BLM director, his boss, and all the way up the chain of command to Sec. of Interior Jewell to die when their helicopter crashes into a bat-chomping, bird-slicing eco crucifix, a/k/a wind farm turbine.

Comment from RealMc
Time: April 12, 2014, 12:18 am

Zsa Zsa this late…..oh my…..

Comment from dustoffmom
Time: April 12, 2014, 12:22 am

Well I must have slept through the posting time again so I lost my gal Nancy Reagan for the second time in a row. 🙁 Therefor I must return again to my old fall back Henry Kissinger.

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: April 12, 2014, 12:26 am

@ thefritz:

When Hank Aaron was closing in on Ruth’s record, I was in college just a few blocks away from the stadium. The team was so bad there were only a few hundred people at most home games, falling to one-third of the first season’s attendance. The other teams didn’t care how many home runs Aaron hit, since the Braves were going to lose the game anyway, and they never wasted their best pitchers on the Braves.

Comment from scantily clad scandis
Time: April 12, 2014, 12:27 am

I’ll take B. B. King this time

Comment from stina
Time: April 12, 2014, 12:44 am

Michael Moore.

Comment from Vince
Time: April 12, 2014, 1:51 am

Abe Vigoda – hang in there Abe! I don’t need the dick that bad…

Comment from RushBabe
Time: April 12, 2014, 2:15 am

John Dingle(berry), Communist Congressman from MI. FTW this time!

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: April 12, 2014, 2:17 am

My usual Ramsey Clark, because he needs to go.

Comment from catnip
Time: April 12, 2014, 2:56 am

Efrem Zimbalist, Jr.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: April 12, 2014, 3:03 am

Rosie O’Donnell, of cardiac and body weight issues… have a look!

Comment from dissent555
Time: April 12, 2014, 3:14 am

@ thefritz:

Someone also needs to let Hank Aaron know that back in the days he was referring to that the Klan was a favored organization of the Democrats.

Sucks to be ignorant Henry.

Comment from unkawill
Time: April 12, 2014, 3:25 am

Arturo Licata Current World record holder for oldest man.

Comment from spunkus
Time: April 12, 2014, 3:48 am

Charlie Rangel

Comment from eirik
Time: April 12, 2014, 3:49 am

Since I’m late to the party, I’ll take Raul Castro, Fidels spry younger brother.

Comment from Ben
Time: April 12, 2014, 4:32 am

William Shatner

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: April 12, 2014, 4:36 am

Leonard Nimoy – because the only good Vulcan is a dead Vulcan.

Comment from currently
Time: April 12, 2014, 5:01 am

David Letterman – by CBS hit squad

Comment from Harry
Time: April 12, 2014, 8:38 am

Well, late to the dance, and my favorite, Valerie Harper, has been poached, so I will go with Option B: Alan Young, Wilbur from Mr. Ed.

Comment from platypuss
Time: April 12, 2014, 4:17 pm

Stoaty, I hope she hangs on for a Long Long Time.
She was a beaut back in the day.

Comment from P2
Time: April 12, 2014, 4:30 pm

Doris day…… She just turned 90 the other day….and I hate that song.

Comment from Some vegetable
Time: April 12, 2014, 9:51 pm

I have often wondered (and I don’t mean fantasized) what making love to Doris Day would have been like back in the day. Did anyone ever find out?

With her image as “professional virgin” she always struck me as not innocent (which might be delicious to corrupt), but simply as indifferent to sex… I can’t help but thinking it would be like making love to a box recipe vanilla pudding served straight from the refrigerator.

She’d probably be singing

“Que sera sera
Just get it over with please
I’m not going to cum you see
So que sera sera”

Now excuse me, I have more drinking to do.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 12, 2014, 10:49 pm

I’m just teasing you, platypuss. All’s fair in the Dead Pool.

You know the old saying? “I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin.”

If you know anything about her personally, though, she’s a pretty appealing person.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: April 13, 2014, 1:14 am

Babs Mikulski. No particular reason, other than I’m a day late and a dollar short. And I just don’t like her.

Comment from Veeshir
Time: April 13, 2014, 2:58 am

Wow, late to the party but I still get my favorite Ed Asner.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: April 13, 2014, 5:28 am

Gordon Brown as usual.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: April 13, 2014, 5:40 am

The pursuit of novelty continues, even to the far side of the Earth…

Former Australian Prime Minister Gough Whitlam.

Comment from gromulin
Time: April 13, 2014, 3:53 pm

Antoine “Fats” Domino

Comment from Owen Kellogg
Time: April 13, 2014, 7:45 pm

I’m two days late and I can still claim Bob Newhart. You’re all laughing now but who’ll be laughing when I get the dick? Wait, what?

Comment from Hutch
Time: April 14, 2014, 1:49 am

I’m afraid you can’t poach old Eli, m. I already had him nailed down.

Comment from sandman says gubmint sucks
Time: April 14, 2014, 2:27 am

Jesse Jackass Jackson, SR and/or Jr. My usual twofer…please…

Comment from mbtokyo
Time: April 14, 2014, 5:15 am

Nick Nolte

Comment from As If I Cared
Time: April 14, 2014, 5:36 am

Hugh “Piston Powered by Viagra” Heffner

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: April 14, 2014, 4:29 pm

Sorry As If, I already got Hef.

Comment from Bikeboy
Time: April 14, 2014, 5:16 pm

Astronaut John Glenn.

Comment from cheshirelion
Time: April 14, 2014, 6:58 pm

Former Speaker Jim Wright.

Comment from Yojimbo
Time: April 14, 2014, 8:50 pm

Irwin Corey, the world’s foremost authority about to lose authority?

Comment from rimrockR
Time: April 15, 2014, 2:23 am

Richard Attenborough

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: April 15, 2014, 6:06 am

…I must return again to my old fall back Henry Kissinger.

WhatDa?!?…he’s still alive??

Well, slap me silly, an’ call me Sally…

Has anybody told him?? – If not…don’t! The shock of reality alone might well do him in…

Comment from grim reaper
Time: April 16, 2014, 4:14 am

Barbara Eden – I dream of an Official Certificate of Dick Winning

Comment from Capt. Kranky
Time: April 16, 2014, 10:54 am

Hugh Downs, mostly because I didn’t even know he was still alive.

Comment from technochitlin
Time: April 16, 2014, 4:00 pm

Hal Holbrook. No particular animus, but it wasn’t taken.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: April 17, 2014, 10:30 pm

Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez up and died!

Comment from smedley the barbarian
Time: April 19, 2014, 6:14 am

Betty white

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: April 27, 2014, 11:06 pm

Missed the last few, but I will go with long time SNL announcer Don Pardo.

Comment from Montenegro
Time: May 3, 2014, 5:34 am

Looks like catnip is the big dick winner!!!!! Congrats…..Efram Zimbalast is no longer with us!!

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: May 3, 2014, 10:13 am

Yup – Efrem is now ex-Efrem:


Congrats catnip!

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: May 3, 2014, 10:25 am

Yay for catnip.
Interesting, quiet career for Zimbalist.

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)

Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.

<< carry me back to ol' virginny