web analytics

Wouldja lookit the time!

Well, would you look at that! It’s Friday the 13th, it’s a full moon and the whole world is burning (those excitable brown people in the East, anyway). Eh, in the immortal words of Scarlet O’Hara, “fuck that, it’s Friday!”

Here, I think you should follow this guy on Twitter: Greenwich Mean Time. Twice a day, randomly, it tells you the time. And is mean to you.

It’s 8.37pm. You didn’t get that job because you smell like shit and also because you’re fucking stupid…It’s 8.15pm. It’s not just in your head, your tone of voice IS awful…It’s 10.50am. You could be outside but instead, you’re stuck in an office because you made all the wrong life decisions…It’s 2.41pm. All your school friends were paid actors from a local children’s television workshop. It nearly bankrupted your parents…It’s 11.19pm. I hope you shit yourself in your sleep…It’s 10.29pm. You’re a twatparrot…It’s 12.15am. Even those fake followers you bought have muted you.

What? No, I don’t use Twitter much these days, either. But I’d rather have an anonymous internutter pretending to be a clock insult me twice a day than follow current events at the moment. Or, you know, sharp stick in the eye is good.

Good weekend, all!

Comments


Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: June 13, 2014, 10:28 pm

Those Zulus are known for having a good sense of humor. Twatparrot? I have to remember that one.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 13, 2014, 11:25 pm

Uncle B had never heard it called Zulu Time. He was Not Impressed.


Comment from Skandia Recluse
Time: June 13, 2014, 11:48 pm

Ya, it’s Friday. Obama won’t be back in the office until Monday afternoon, and the news media has nothing to report until then.


Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: June 14, 2014, 1:36 am

Yeah, twatparrot is going into the vocab.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: June 14, 2014, 1:53 am

Yeah, GMT has gone the way of the dodo. The frentch fucking ijits have forced some asinine thing called UTC on us, because they’re french & they’re fucking idiots. Give us back our GMT & we won’t nuke you kilometer driving, liter drinking chucklefucks.


Comment from Pupster
Time: June 14, 2014, 2:29 am

It’s 10.50am. You could be outside but instead, you’re stuck in an office because you made all the wrong life decisions…

Oooh, ouch. I think that one hit bone.


Comment from Veeshir
Time: June 14, 2014, 2:36 am

If I want to be insulted, I’ll call my family. I don’t need strangers for that.

You’re absolutely right about avoiding politics, it’s really just too ugly.


Comment from Oceania
Time: June 14, 2014, 4:16 am

I’m thinking of coming to the UK and starting a Race War …


Comment from Deborah
Time: June 14, 2014, 11:49 am

I used to work with a lot of former military personnel who all referred to the prime meridian as Zulu. One man kept his watch on Zulu all the time, even though we were in Houston, but I always suspected he was CIA and we were his cover. Seriously.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 14, 2014, 2:56 pm

I just got a spam from someone called “FULL UNCUT VIDEO White Shark Ripping Apart the Ship Captain in a Flash!”

Really, that’s an attractant?


Comment from mojo
Time: June 14, 2014, 4:24 pm

The verdamt Britishers probably say “zed time”. They’re like that.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 14, 2014, 11:55 pm

@Oceania, if your goal is to start a UK race war I’m afraid you are too late. Although in the early stage it is definitely on.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: June 14, 2014, 11:58 pm

@Mme. Ermine – if the ship’s captain’s name is Jean Luc, I’d like to watch that.


Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: June 15, 2014, 4:21 am

I call it GMT even though we’re “supposed” to call it UTC. Sometimes people correct me. I smile politely and continue calling it GMT.

I don’t handle change well.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: June 15, 2014, 10:31 am

Good for you, Mrs Peel!


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: June 15, 2014, 11:59 am

I use GMT, UTC or Zulu time pretty much interchangeably…as long as they don’t try to move the map coordinate zero to some dumbass place like Mecca or Paris, I’ll be okay.


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: June 15, 2014, 1:58 pm

Uncut, White, Ripping Apart, & Patrick Stewart might be keywords for one of those films with the two men doing mommy & daddy things. I won’t be watching it, but I approve of the thought.


Comment from mojo
Time: June 15, 2014, 3:49 pm

Jean-Luc heard screaming from the jaws of the great white: “I’m not an “acter”, I’m an “AC-TOR””…


Comment from David Gillies
Time: June 15, 2014, 3:58 pm

Casey Kasem just died. Someone had him in the Dead Pool.

Zulu is just Z = zero time. Local time is Lima time (nothing to do with Peru).


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: June 15, 2014, 6:07 pm

Zulu is just Z = zero time. Local time is Lima time (nothing to do with Peru).

Drink-time is 11 a.m. unless one is having brunch, in which case it can be as early as 9 a.m.


Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: June 15, 2014, 7:26 pm

Now confirmed – Casey Kasem has, indeed, left this mortal coil today at age 82…which means SCOTTtheBADGER scores the Dick – and everyone else (after a round of salutes/handshakes for SCOTT, and expressions of sadness at the passing-away of a True Rock ‘N Roll Legend – you will be missed, Casey, sorry to see you go – ) must now begin to prepare for…Round 64 (I think it is, yes?…)


Comment from Armybrat
Time: June 15, 2014, 8:01 pm

Some Veg- if you wait till 9am you’ll have missed the first round of Bloody Marys at my house.


Comment from Deborah
Time: June 15, 2014, 8:21 pm

The sun is always going down somewhere. Cheers.
And Salute to Casey Kasem. A lot of my youth was misspent listening to Casey Kasem.


Comment from David Gillies
Time: June 15, 2014, 9:58 pm

Let us not forget Kasem’s voicing of the character Norville Rogers* in the long running animated series.

* betcha had to look it up


Comment from QuasiModo
Time: June 16, 2014, 12:03 am

Casey Kasem was the voice of Shaggy on Scooby-Doo?…who’d have thunk it. I *did* have to look it up…

RIP Casey…


Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: June 16, 2014, 10:11 am

I won? Deep, Manly SQUEEE!


Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: June 16, 2014, 2:54 pm

Comment from Deborah
Time: June 15, 2014, 8:21 pm

The sun is always going down somewhere.

I think you meant to say “the son” —as in Frank Marshall Davis’s Kenyan lovechild— is always going down somewhere.


Comment from Wolfus Aurelius
Time: June 16, 2014, 3:40 pm

It’s 10.29pm. You’re a twatparrot.
*
*
I admit it. I LOL’d. (Probably because of the ancient Monty Python skit about the dead parrot in the pet shop. “This is an EX-parrot!” Or is “twatparrot” current British slang?)

If I want to be insulted, I’ll call my family. I don’t need strangers for that.

Peter Venkman in “Ghostbusters”: “Aw, I don’t have to take this abuse. I got people waiting in line to abuse me.”

Write a comment

(as if I cared)

(yeah. I'm going to write)

(oooo! you have a website?)


Beware: more than one link in a comment is apt to earn you a trip to the spam filter, where you will remain -- cold, frightened and alone -- until I remember to clean the trap. But, hey, without Akismet, we'd be up to our asses in...well, ass porn, mostly.


<< carry me back to ol' virginny