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Dead Pool 68: forty five minutes late and sixty cents short

Screw it, you guys. Sorry this is late. I messed up the date on the original, and would you believe you can’t just tell a scheduled post to go ahead on and post?

Nanny1 wins a second dick with Lauren Bacall. Bacall had great eyes and silly political views.

Did you know there was a medical condition called Bogart–Bacall syndrome? It’s that husky voice you develop when you push your voice outside its comfortable range for too long. They both had it. Lauren’s natural speaking voice was high and squeaky, apparently.

Heh. Imagine that “you know how to whistle” line delivered by Minnie Mouse.

Ready? Then we’ll begin…

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.


Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:38 pm

Hugh Hefner – Some creeping crud will get him one of these days

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:39 pm

Billy Graham.

Comment from Fawn
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:39 pm

Stuart Scott – ESPN broadcaster (20+yrs – SportsNight, Sports Center, NFL, NBA).

Comment from LesterIII
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:40 pm

Luise Rainer

Comment from RushBabe
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:41 pm

Zsa Zsa, FTW!

Comment from Anonymous
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:42 pm

Kirk Douglas

Comment from Janna
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:43 pm

Sorry, anonymous Kirk Douglas was me. Retarded today

Comment from Montenegro
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:44 pm

Muhammad ALI

Comment from AltBBrown
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:45 pm

I’m starting to believe that Billy Graham, Zsa Zsa, Stephen Hawking and Fidel are all on some super-secret Dr. Oz Vitamins for Zombies (50 Years or Older).

Comment from Rodent
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:48 pm

Nancy Pelosi.

Comment from gromulin
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:52 pm

Fidel Castro FTW!

Comment from Thursby
Time: August 15, 2014, 6:55 pm

Chuck Berry

Comment from Hutch
Time: August 15, 2014, 7:04 pm

Olivia de Havilland

Comment from StPatrick_TN
Time: August 15, 2014, 7:06 pm

Mikhail Gorbachev

Comment from Davem123
Time: August 15, 2014, 7:14 pm

Abe Vigoda. Loved him in the Godfather.

Mixing it up a bit, tired of wishing for the demise of some nasty politician and being disappointed.

Comment from p2
Time: August 15, 2014, 7:23 pm

Mary Tyler Moore….she ain’t tossing that hat as far these days

Comment from Anonymous
Time: August 15, 2014, 7:26 pm

Jimmy Carter, because it’s time dammit!

Comment from scr_north
Time: August 15, 2014, 7:27 pm

Ok, that Jimmy Carter you see above was from me. Need coffee…..

Comment from CrabbyOldBat
Time: August 15, 2014, 7:34 pm

Christopher Lee (If he becomes undead, does it still count?)

Comment from Pupster
Time: August 15, 2014, 7:50 pm

Nouri al-Maliki – former Iraqi PM

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: August 15, 2014, 7:57 pm

For the multiple crimes against the people of the United States of:

1) refusing to block direct air flights from the nations dealing with Ebola epidemics to the US [4 per day landing in NYC and Houston],

2) a deliberate erasing of the southern border making it a highway for illegal invaders from all over the world, which includes Ebola-ridden West Africa [since the first of the year we have caught 71 nationals from Guinea, Sierra Leon, and Liberia, where Ebola is epidemic. Plus an unknown number from Nigeria,where it is now epidemic. And noting that we catch less than 5% of those crossing that border], and

3) For, as of this writing, being up to his 205th golf game since his first inauguration. This being notable insofar as Tiger Woods, who is a professional golfer, has only played 269 rounds of golf in that time, including practices. This while all hell is breaking out in the world including artillery exchanges between Russia and Ukraine in the last 24 hours.

I name Buraq Hussein Obama as my entry in the pool; in the hope that whatever Deity is turning the crank this week will have some mercy on our poor country.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from Nanny1
Time: August 15, 2014, 7:57 pm

George H W Bush

Comment from Davem123
Time: August 15, 2014, 8:23 pm

Subotai Bahadur – From your lips to God’s ear.

Comment from JeffS
Time: August 15, 2014, 8:34 pm

Joe Biden. Preferably in tandem with Subotai Bahadur’s pick.

A win-win, as it were.

Comment from tomfrompv
Time: August 15, 2014, 9:23 pm

Charlotte Rae. Poached from Mrs tomfrompv. Ha!

Comment from Nina
Time: August 15, 2014, 9:27 pm

The cop who took out the innocent kid in Ferguson. Or whatever happened. That guy.

Comment from TwoDogs
Time: August 15, 2014, 9:38 pm

Al Sharpton. We can hope.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 15, 2014, 9:40 pm

David Rockefeller Sr.

¡Espero que mueras pronto, gilipollas maldito!

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: August 15, 2014, 9:52 pm

Leonard Nemoy

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: August 15, 2014, 9:52 pm

Abu-Bakr al-Baghdadi of a hellish but not errant drone strike while he cowers in Syria pretending to be scared of Subotai Bahadur’s choice.

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: August 15, 2014, 10:04 pm

Jerry Lewis

Comment from dissent555
Time: August 15, 2014, 10:05 pm

Back early enough, so back with Robert Mugabe.

‘Cause the world could do with some good news for a change.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: August 15, 2014, 10:28 pm

Keith Richards

Comment from m
Time: August 15, 2014, 10:58 pm

Bob Newhart

Comment from Rodent
Time: August 15, 2014, 11:14 pm

For Stoaty and others who remember the dumped kitty I brought home a dead pool or two ago:


Comment from Paula Douglas
Time: August 15, 2014, 11:32 pm

Stephen Hawking.

Comment from Nina
Time: August 15, 2014, 11:45 pm

Rodent: awwwwwwwww!

Comment from stina
Time: August 15, 2014, 11:52 pm

Michael Moore.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: August 15, 2014, 11:56 pm

Desmond Tutu

Comment from PatAZ
Time: August 16, 2014, 12:33 am

Donald Sterling.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: August 16, 2014, 12:42 am

Carol Channing, gotta be her turn soon.

Comment from Woolie M
Time: August 16, 2014, 12:42 am

Hows about Tony Stewart.

Comment from FGW
Time: August 16, 2014, 1:00 am

Dick Van Dyke.

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: August 16, 2014, 1:39 am

Anthony Zerbe.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: August 16, 2014, 1:51 am

Nancy Reagan.
May God forgive me.

It’s all for the dick.

Comment from Keepandbear
Time: August 16, 2014, 1:54 am

Nagla Mahmoud

Don’t piss off the pant suit

Comment from Hutch
Time: August 16, 2014, 2:05 am

Ooh! Ooh! Ron “Arnold Horshack” Palillo bit the dust today. Good riddance if you ask me.

Comment from mojo
Time: August 16, 2014, 2:09 am

Harry Reid, of a Koch overdose

Comment from twolaneflash
Time: August 16, 2014, 3:04 am

Having been gracefully poached by Subotai Bahadur, whose selection deserves mucho Dicko-in-his-Cornholeo-con-Eboleo, I will lower my sights and range and choose William Jefferson Clinton, because the man should not be allowed to outlive his dick.

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: August 16, 2014, 3:23 am

Need to change things up a bit:

Bobcat Goldthwait

Just because…

Comment from Veeshir
Time: August 16, 2014, 3:25 am

Back to my old standby, Ed Asner

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: August 16, 2014, 3:42 am

Comment from Hutch
Time: August 16, 2014, 2:05 am

Ooh! Ooh! Ron “Arnold Horshack” Palillo bit the dust today. Good riddance if you ask me.

Wow. Since Ron was buried on August 22, 2012, it’s good that he finally died…

Comment from eirik
Time: August 16, 2014, 4:19 am

William Shatner.

Comment from Ben
Time: August 16, 2014, 4:29 am

William Shatner
late to the party cause I’m drunk

Comment from currently
Time: August 16, 2014, 7:06 am

Rose Marie (of the Dick Van Dyke show and she was on a crossword puzzle I did recently)

I’m getting tired of picking Harry Belafonte.

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: August 16, 2014, 7:53 am

Glen Campbell

Comment from rimrockR
Time: August 16, 2014, 10:40 am

George Soros -ideally taken along with his heirs to rid the world of his legacy

Comment from Oceania
Time: August 16, 2014, 1:00 pm

Can I enter a celebrity cat?

Comment from Ripley
Time: August 16, 2014, 1:25 pm

Maureen O’Hara

Comment from steve
Time: August 16, 2014, 1:29 pm

Irwin Cory

Comment from Michael
Time: August 16, 2014, 5:24 pm

Since ‘currently’ tires of him, I’ll shake things up this time and take Harry Belafonte

Comment from Carl
Time: August 16, 2014, 6:42 pm

Clive James

Comment from Veeshir
Time: August 16, 2014, 7:39 pm

Comment from eirik
Time: August 16, 2014, 4:19 am
William Shatner.

Comment from Ben
Time: August 16, 2014, 4:29 am
William Shatner
late to the party cause I’m drunk

It’s funny how often that happens.
I guess the old saying is true, “when it’s time to railroad, people start railroading”

Comment from Harry
Time: August 16, 2014, 9:09 pm

@Davem123–I have given up on nominating nasty politicians ever since realizing that the Devil really does take care of his own…

Comment from catnip
Time: August 17, 2014, 4:01 am

Judge Joe Wapner

Comment from Davem123
Time: August 17, 2014, 5:47 am

“the Devil really does take care of his own…”

Agreed. Ted Kennedy and Nancy Pelosi stand as proof. The good do die young.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: August 17, 2014, 6:36 am

As usual, Gordon Brown.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: August 17, 2014, 9:41 am

Good on you, Rodent!

Comment from thefritz
Time: August 17, 2014, 11:58 am

Henry Kissinger

Comment from As If I Cared
Time: August 17, 2014, 12:14 pm

Hell needs more with anarcho-syndicalists: Avram Noam Chomsky

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: August 17, 2014, 3:07 pm

Ramsey *spit* Clark

Comment from Stark Dickflüssig
Time: August 17, 2014, 5:19 pm

Phil Collins, because I have no idea what I’m doing.

Comment from unkawill
Time: August 18, 2014, 1:23 am

Frances Fox Piven

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: August 18, 2014, 10:11 am

That is a handsome beastie, Rodent!

Comment from Tibby
Time: August 18, 2014, 3:37 pm

Dang it! got busy Friday afternoon and forgot all about it…and too meh to check everyone elses picks. Here’s hope that it’s someone political!

Comment from Bikeboy
Time: August 18, 2014, 3:39 pm

Astronaut John Glenn.

Comment from thefritz
Time: August 18, 2014, 4:00 pm

Former Vt. Sen. Jim Jeffords, who tipped control of the Senate in 2001 when he quit the GOP, dies at 80….

Comment from Pablo
Time: August 18, 2014, 8:27 pm

Al Molinaro

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: August 19, 2014, 7:47 am

Tempted to try a “skullduggery” move, here, but –

Since, even though abysmally late to the partay*, I observe that ol’ Red-Pants Janey Fonda is still available (SomeVeg having apparently veered off into Keith Richards), I will manfully resist the underhanded temptation, and stick with Red Jane the mostly-insane…maybe I could tempt her into going on the Alcatraz tour-boat, then talk her into a couple of “free swimming lessons” from The Rock back to the S.F. pier?

Ah, wishful thinking, I s’pose…

Oh…the source of the noted temptation? It seems, per a late bulletin, that ol’ Don Pardo has permanently left the building, at age 96. Saturday Night Live hasn’t been “the same” for a long time anyway, but still – he will most definitely be missed.

Actually, if I can’t score with Janey Insaney, I’d really like to see scr_north (aka: ‘Nonymouse # 2) take the prize – ol’ Jimmuh P-Nut really, really needs to go; the State of Jawjah has a number of transgressions against proper form and good order in These (Presently) United States, and He Who Runs From Rabbits Whilst Being A Major-League Progtard clearly makes the list.

(*Been putting in quite a few late-night hours at my new part-time, seasonal (and therefore temporary) job-type thingy – once again, gainful employment interfering with my actual lifestyle. Ah, the things one does for money…[and not all that much money, either, drat it!])

Comment from cheshirelion
Time: August 21, 2014, 7:44 pm

Valerie Harper

Comment from JC
Time: August 21, 2014, 9:46 pm

back with paul ehrlich

Comment from weaselwannabee
Time: August 22, 2014, 4:32 pm

khaled mashaa, leader of hamas

Comment from thefritz
Time: August 24, 2014, 9:30 pm

Actor and film director Richard Attenborough dies at 90, his son says…

Comment from Nina
Time: August 24, 2014, 10:44 pm

Doesn’t look like anyone has him?

Comment from drew458
Time: August 28, 2014, 3:17 pm

Joan Rivers

Comment from Mitchell
Time: August 28, 2014, 5:02 pm

Joan Riv- DAMMIT!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 28, 2014, 7:04 pm

Sonofabitch. I knew somebody was going to try it, but I assumed it was going to be somebody who’d already made a pick and thus disqualified.

Well done, drew458. Did she actually die yet? I see conflicting reports.

Comment from drew458
Time: August 28, 2014, 7:34 pm

“unresponsive” the news sites say, 3:30pm Eastern. Poor old girl. Maybe she’ll pull through.

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: August 28, 2014, 10:43 pm

Joan Rivers: upgraded to stable… which could mean that she is brain dead.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: August 29, 2014, 12:50 am

Nicely timed, drew – although Joan’s not gone just yet, it’s not looking good for her…cardiac arrest, and had to be transported to hospital at about 9:30 Eastern (U.S.) this morning. We shall see – she’s made a few comedic “comebacks” before, she might manage similarly physically this time.

Comment from acat
Time: August 29, 2014, 6:11 am

Gonna go with Dawn Wells this time, and assume ol’ Joan will continue to defy medical science a bit longer.


Comment from thefritz
Time: August 29, 2014, 5:25 pm

And on a cheery note… “John Walker, former US Navy officer convicted of spying for Soviet Union, dies at age 77 in federal prison – “

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: August 30, 2014, 11:43 pm

I’m gonna jump in and snipe with Jake the Snake Roberts…

Comment from BJM
Time: September 2, 2014, 4:42 am

While Joan waits for the ferryman I’ll pick Doris Day.

Comment from tawny
Time: September 4, 2014, 7:06 pm

RIP Joan Rivers. Sad news. 🙁

Comment from moja
Time: September 25, 2014, 1:49 am

Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied
on the video to make your point. You definitely know
what youre talking about, why throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to
your site when you could be giving us something informative to read?

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