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“fake plastic pig carcasses”
[Richard Dean Anderson (McGyver) Playing Col. O’Neil]

“there’s a joke there. wait for it.” [dramatic pause] “I got nothin'”. [elevator door closes] [Cpt Carter and Dr Jackson exchange looks]

They don’t give those things away: http://creepycollection.com/checkout/2012-haunted-house-props-and-animatronics/pig-carcass/

What puzzled me was the number of flies and bluebottles that had been fooled. The slab outside the ‘butcher’s shop’ was crawling with the bloody things.

Probably very small drone flies, for realism.

Sounds like an average day on THE VIEW, with Rosie ODonnell spitting venom at Whoopie Goldberg…

“I’ll let you know how the BBC manages to ruin these great stories with cheap politics.”

I shudder to think of it.

Mapp will infer that Lucia only pays lip service to the Palestinian struggle, While Lucia starts a rumor that Mapp’s carbon footprint is far too large.

What would you do with an ersatz pig carcass? Hang it on the wall?

What would you do with a ersatz pig carcass?

You hang it up in the rafters of your ancient English cottage, and let it get covered with dust. Then, when vistors come, you wait for them to notice. If, in very UN-British fashion, they should mention it, you act shocked and swear-swear! that you have never noticed it before,and speculate that it must have been in the house for at least a hundred years.

It’s that or fakin’ bacon.

I always get him mixed up in the spook-story genre with M.R. James and have to look ’em up. Benson wrote one story I nominate for the creepiest title in literature: “Negotium Perambulans.”

It was James who wrote “Oh, Whistle, and I’ll Come to You, My Lad” and “Casting the Runes,” which became that dynamite Jacques Tourneur movie, “Curse of the Demon.”

Benson also wrote “The Room in the Tower,” and “Mrs. Amworth” and “The Brick Kiln.” And, of course, to truly confuse things, his brothers Arthur and Hugh also wrote ghost stories …

Oooh, look: E.F.’s stories are on Gutenberg Australia! http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks06/0605171h.html

But, to be honest–I’ve never really cared much for the Benson ghost stories. I am, however, a great admirer of James, whose work you have but scratched the surface of.

I loved Rye when I was there this Spring. Perfect little postcard town and friendly people. The Tiny Bookshop on the northside of the church was great. Picked up an neat old A.C. Doyle paperback from 1919 for about 5 quid. The shopowner gave me a big “new penny” I think he called it (which was actually a bit old) and said I had to give it back when I returned. Intersting guy, from south London but half Greek half Navaho.

Also some snarky signage was posted around town. Who doesn’t love a town with snark?

I’m not interested in the fake carcasses, but I like that little running pig in the upper left.

Steganography and other ways to kill time and test keyboards.

Just pondering. Now I know that the ” ‘ealth and Safety” types would have all sorts of PC porcupines at the concept of having actual critter carcasses on display, and such are probably banned to a fair-thee-well. Plastic carcasses of pigs are another matter. I know that various food chains over there have banned pork products and become Halal to avoid offending The-Religion-That-Must-Not-Be-Named-Except-Respectfully. And it is Europe. Wouldn’t public display of plastic pork offend the perpetually offended?

Actually, the props were very cool and interesting. About half of them were plastic and half of them real. Like, in a basket of oranges, half real fruit and half plastic.

Some of them — the plastic meat pies — looked very old and dusty, but I suppose that won’t show up on film.

That last bit hasn’t changed. The Pork Pie museum used to be found in every pub. 1,000 diseases lurking beneath a grubby glass dome.

But, to be honest–I’ve never really cared much for the Benson ghost stories. I am, however, a great admirer of James, whose work you have but scratched the surface of.

I have never read many of Benson’s stories; that title, “Negotium Perambulans,” has stuck in my memory. But as for James, the old Alfred HItchcock anthologies — the old ones, beginning in 1946 or so and running to about 1964 — republished a lot of them, including “The Ash Tree.” So I made his acquaintance at an early (and impressionable!) age.