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…and her name was Lorelai…


I shit you not, this is printed on the bag our Christmas turkey is in. I’m all for animal welfare, but I kind of feel bad for cutting this bird down in the prime of her life. She was having such a lovely time.

More on “high welfare” farming here.

Don’t forget — back here tomorrow 6WBT for Dead Pool Round 93!


Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: December 22, 2016, 10:43 pm

And then we kill them.

However, if one takes the position that the uncontemplated life is not worth living, well, they ARE turkeys after all.


Comment from Phineas
Time: December 23, 2016, 2:24 am

Yeah if you wait until those birds retire…you’ll get a flamingo from Florida..

Comment from HTL
Time: December 23, 2016, 3:14 am

Do they actually kill the turkeys at this farm, or does the coroner have to rule “death by misadventure” in order for them to attain the coveted “high welfare” label?

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: December 23, 2016, 3:47 am

What a terrible damn, cruel shame…being struck-down in the midst of the very finest flower of its poultry-personage existence…

I’m sure it’s actually not merely some simple matter of “inadvertently-ironic statement” – but that marking of “100% BRITISH TURKEY” just seems so…blatantly, openly – factually – truthful!

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: December 23, 2016, 2:15 pm

Merry Christmas to my Favorite Mustelids! Merry Christmas to All!

Comment from Fritzworth
Time: December 23, 2016, 3:57 pm

Reminds me of one of the earliest “Portlandia” skits…


Comment from Steve Skubinna
Time: December 23, 2016, 5:37 pm

Are these fair trade shade grown free range organic vegan lesbian non-GMO turkeys?

How were they slaughtered? Bored to death with an Obama speech? Or strapped into a chair like Alex in A Clockwork Orange and forced to watch a Lena Dunham marathon?

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: December 24, 2016, 12:32 am

Merry Christmas to all of the denizens of Weasel Blog!

Comment from JeffS
Time: December 24, 2016, 4:14 am

They’d save a fortune on printing costs if they just said “This Turkey Died Happy!”

Comment from BJM
Time: December 24, 2016, 6:52 pm

Me thinks the copywriter has never experinced a flock of wild turkeys. Dirty, quarrelsome, destructive and aggressive come to mind. The only high point of their daily trek through our property was releasing our two Springers to joyously shoo them away.

Although they could be entertaining. In Spring a couple of old nursery hens would shepherd the little fuzzball chicks like stern Victorian governesses.

Then one day two competing flocks met in our lower meadow…the resulting charging, feather fanning and sparring was right out of Westside Story.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: December 25, 2016, 3:28 pm

Happy Christmas, fellow minions!

Comment from xul’s fedora
Time: December 25, 2016, 7:04 pm

Merry Christmas, Stoaty, Uncle B, and fellow minions!

Comment from tawny
Time: December 25, 2016, 11:35 pm

Merry Christmas Stoaty and Uncle Badger, I hope Santa was good to you.

Comment from As If I Cared (Now With Caps!)
Time: December 31, 2016, 2:10 pm

Jeez, do they have book clubs and sewing circles, too?

They’re turkeys, for crying out loud. They reportedly may drown themselves by looking upward for too long in downpours.

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