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Dead Pool Round 100: But not really round 100

Carl takes dick with Bruce Forsyth. If you’re thinking ‘Bruce who?’, well…dude was an enormous star over here in Angle-land, of the host-and-MC variety.

Carl, as everyone knows, is one scary dude. He has won dick with alarming regularity. Do not be pissing off Carl, please.

And finally, Rich Rostrom (whose math skills are infinitely better than mine and whose OCD is apparently epic) tells me this is not really Dead Pool 100. I have blown it several times. It is actually Dead Pool 98. So we shall have to celebrate Dead Pool 102 like it’s 1999.

Ready? Then we’ll begin:

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.


Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:00 pm

Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

C’mon, Ruthie old dear. You’re old. You’re tired. Life is getting more and more burdensome and boring, isn’t it? It’s time. It’s time to just lie down and take that last, long, nap. In the dirt.

Comment from Carl
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:03 pm

Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor – the former head of the Roman Catholic Church in England.

Comment from Mrs Carl
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:03 pm

Clive James

Comment from RushBabe
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:12 pm

Once more into the heavenly breach: Billy Graham.

Comment from Stephen Falken
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:14 pm

Mitch McConnell. (I bet you thought I would pick a different senator.)

Comment from gromulin
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:14 pm

Kirk Douglas FTD!

Comment from p2
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:16 pm

olivia de havilland

Comment from Sk.Y M-39
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:24 pm

Mr. Mugabe, It’s time

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:28 pm

Can I vote for the death of British English? bbc.com/pidgin

If not, I vote for Miriam Moskowitz.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:31 pm

John McCain
Or is he already dead and just zombie walking around?

Oh, and are you sure there’s a rule 6?

Comment from Ben
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:40 pm

William Shatner

Comment from Crabby Old Bat
Time: August 25, 2017, 6:41 pm

Carol Channing

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: August 25, 2017, 7:06 pm

George Herbert Walker Bush

Comment from Janna
Time: August 25, 2017, 7:09 pm

Well, poo, Kirk done got hisself poached. Guess I’ll take jimmy carter.

Comment from JC
Time: August 25, 2017, 7:13 pm

Paul Ehrlich, would you go ahead and die already?

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 25, 2017, 7:13 pm

@Deborah HH – Hey, it’s good to see you still have power and a ‘net connection! I sure hope things aren’t as dire as the noozies would have us believe.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: August 25, 2017, 7:31 pm

Nancy Pelosi

Any act of God is acceptable, but ideally from being attacked by a wolf in a crowded theater

In case you didn’t hear about it

Comment from BJM
Time: August 25, 2017, 7:42 pm

Neil deGrasse Tyson, done in by the multiple science rakes he steps on regularly.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: August 25, 2017, 7:46 pm

In some alternate quantum reality Neil deGrasse Tyson actually understands what he’s talking about.

Comment from Mad Ivan
Time: August 25, 2017, 8:04 pm

Stickin’ with Henry Kissinger.

Comment from thefritz
Time: August 25, 2017, 8:08 pm

Ralph Pierre LaCock…better known to his friends as Peter Marshall…(I wonder who his favorite secret square was?)

Comment from Hutch
Time: August 25, 2017, 8:29 pm

Joanne Woodward

Comment from LesterIII
Time: August 25, 2017, 8:34 pm

Hugh “Spirochete” Hefner.

Comment from MrsMGunz
Time: August 25, 2017, 8:43 pm

Aretha Franklin

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 25, 2017, 8:48 pm

Oh my god, I’m still laughing at Nancy Pelosi. Go home, grandma. You’re senile.

Comment from OldFert
Time: August 25, 2017, 9:08 pm

Norman Lear
Let’m go see Archie.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: August 25, 2017, 9:08 pm

Could have been more entertaining if she’d said you can’t yell “BUSH WEASEL!” in a crowded undefinedgender bathroom.

Locally we’re wondering when and how Trump will be blamed for not doing something about Hurricane Harvey.
The fun part is it’s entirely likely Pelosi will blame President Bush for the failure.

Comment from Timbo
Time: August 25, 2017, 9:28 pm

King Juan Carlos of Spain, father of the actual head of state King Felipe. Apparently back to entertaining the ladies; and Viagra, advanced years and being out of shape…

Comment from ExpressoBold
Time: August 25, 2017, 9:37 pm

Charles Manson, who should have been executed years ago, still living to a ripe old age to which innocent people, his victims, never got to live.
Die you mangy mammal.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: August 25, 2017, 9:37 pm

Been beaten to several picks I would prefer, but no one has taken George Soros yet. If there is any justice, it will be by a ZAHAL strike force, but barring that I would love it if the ANTIFA he finances got their mission orders crossed and beat him to death in a “mostly peaceful” riot.

Think of the mayhem as the entire Democrat Party and most of the GOP suddenly has to make ends meet without his subsidy.

Comment from gulliblepratt
Time: August 25, 2017, 9:59 pm

HRH Prince Phillip

Comment from dissent
Time: August 25, 2017, 10:03 pm

Lordy, I’m so far behind I might be mistaken for Barack Obama.

Is Bill still around? Yeah, I’ll take Bill Clinton again.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: August 25, 2017, 10:46 pm

Watched a doc on Norman Lear. Not so lefty saintly after all. His all black sit com, Good Times, the actor staged a revolt. Once it got big they thought they shd have ultimate say on the script and forgot it was a comedy. They thought it shd be more sjw and they hated Jimmie Walker, who was immensely popular. Anyway, Lear fired some of them and then had enough and let the series die.

Comment from RimrockR
Time: August 25, 2017, 11:35 pm

Chuck Yeager

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: August 26, 2017, 12:07 am

OMG, I forgot! Since Hugh Hefner has been poached, I’ll go with Hillary Rodham Clinton, who is surprisingly still available!

Comment from ea in ga
Time: August 26, 2017, 12:08 am

Bob Dole

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: August 26, 2017, 12:36 am

Once again, gonna go wid’ my Ol’ Standby, Red-Pants zanie, insaney Janey Fonda, da one of whom we couldn’t be LESS fond-o’… C’mon, Janey, you kin doo it! – maybe ya could go all-anorexic-like, an’ jes’ fade away to nuthin’…realquicklike, tho’!…

(Actually, once more, I’m pulling for Uncle Al to hit it outta the park again…ol’ Ruthie BadNews Ginsberg really needs to bite the big ‘un – so Big Don gets to name us another replacement S.C. Justice with his/her head clearly screwed on straight…Go ‘way, now, Ruthie – time to go toes-up an’ room-temperature or less…)

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: August 26, 2017, 12:46 am

Got a cute one today – someone despised by the right, and also by those on the left that know what he actually does.

Morris Dees, proprietor of the “Southern Poverty Law Center”. (Knowledgeable leftists despise him because they know that the SPLC has a nine-figure endowment fund and spends very little, yet Dees continues to fund-raise aggressively, for what is in effect his private slush fund.)

Comment from sassamon
Time: August 26, 2017, 1:00 am

For this round I will again choose the Ding Dong Gentleman, Leslie Phillips. Comic actor Who has been in over 150 films and television shows. Known early in his career for the Carry On and the Doctor film series.

Memorable phrase “Ding Dong, you’re not wrong”


Comment from Jeff Weimer
Time: August 26, 2017, 1:02 am

Burt Reynolds

Comment from Armybrat
Time: August 26, 2017, 1:12 am

Once again, Desmond Tutu. Evil commie bastard can join Nelson in hell

Comment from Davem123
Time: August 26, 2017, 3:09 am

Steve Harrigan, Fox News Hurricane street performance artist. Cut in half by a 100 MPH hubcap.

Comment from ama
Time: August 26, 2017, 3:13 am

I think someone is going to get to Maduro pretty soon.

Comment from Timothy S. Carlson
Time: August 26, 2017, 4:23 am

Mixing it up again and picking Jack Nicholson who is 80 years old and has Alzheimer’s disease. He no longer shows up at Laker’s games and his family is already squabbling over his fortune. I figure the vultures are circling and that’s not a good sign.

Comment from xul’s fedora
Time: August 26, 2017, 4:33 am

Going with Charlotte Rae again.

Comment from catnip
Time: August 26, 2017, 5:32 am

Valerie Harper, with regret for her protracted suffering.

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: August 26, 2017, 6:09 am

Louis “Calypso Louie” Farrakhan

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: August 26, 2017, 7:18 am

Statistical update after DP 99….

97 Dead Pools (Ms. Weasel, you’re right about the OCD.)

652 contestants
6,901 entries
1,101 different candidates

Most entries: DP 5, 129.

Fewest entries: DP 7, 23 (ended in 1 hour 46 minutes with Gary Coleman).

Longest run: DP 11, 152 days.

Shortest run: DP 7 (see above).

Earliest pick to win: #1, five times (36, 42, 46, 78, 98).

Deepest pick to win: #95, Dan Schorr, by sherlock, in DP 10.

Latest pick to win: #82, B.B. King, by Ripley, 120 days into DP 72.

Most wins: Carl – 6; Steve – 5; AltBBrown, ExpressoBold, Formerly known as Skeptic, LesterIII, Montenegro, thefritz, weaselwannabe, and xul – 3.

One-and-done winners:

DeGuerre, with Harmon Killebrew in DP 14.

homer, with Thomas Duncan in DP 69.

nachogranny, with Peter Graves in DP 50.

First-shot kills: 21

1 Ted Kennedy (by Enas Yorl)
3 Susan Atkins (by Princess Bernie)
4 Alexander Haig (by Sockless Joe)
5 Peter Graves (by nachogranny)
14 Harmon Killebrew (by DeGuerre)
15 Jeff Conaway (by Tawny)
16 Clarence Clemmons (by Princess Bernie)
27 Chuck Colson (by Pablo)
34 Johnny Pesky (by Pablo)
38 Alex Karras (by steve)
44 Christopher Dorner (by Davem123)
59 Joan Mondale (by ExpressoBold)
60 Tony Benn (by Carl)
68 Joan Rivers (by Drew458)
69 Thomas Duncan (by homer)
74 Jeralean Talley (by Pupster)
79 René Angélil (by ExpressoBold)
83 Paul Daniels (by Carl)
86 Arnold Palmer (by currently)
89 Leonard Cohen (by Scott Jacobs)
93 Carrie Fisher (by weaselwannabe)

Most entries submitted:

93 Janna
90 Eirik
87 Armybrat
85 thefritz
85 PatAZ
85 Montenegro
82 Rich Rostrom
80 David Gillies
80 Gromulin
78 Dustoffmom

Janna, Eirik, PatAZ, Rich Rostrom, David Gillies, Gromulin, and Dustoffmom
have never won.

Players with most different picks:

81 Rich Rostrom
58 PatAZ
48 Subotai Bahadur
46 Timothy S. Carlson
42 steve
42 Mija Cat
42 Davem123
41 unkawill
41 catnip
40 Stark Dickflüssig

On the other end…

Most picked candidates:

96 Jimmy Carter
90 Kirk Douglas
86 Fidel Castro
85 Zsa Zsa Gabor
82 Robert Mugabe
82 Olivia De Havilland
81 Hugh Hefner
80 William Shatner
80 Billy Graham
79 Prince Phillip
78 Gordon Brown

All but two of these are still alive.

574 picks have been taken once.

Candidates with broadest popularity (most different submitters):

36 Abe Vigoda
34 George Soros
34 Fidel Castro
34 Betty White
31 Lindsay Lohan
31 Jerry Lewis
30 Nancy Pelosi
29 Jimmy Carter
29 George H. W. Bush
28 Harry Reid
28 Bill Clinton
27 Zsa Zsa Gabor
26 Ruth Bader Ginsberg

Picks with narrow support (1 submitter, multiple times):

78 Gordon Brown (by David Gillies)
23 Ruby Muhammad (by Monotone (The Elderish))
12 Nanette Fabray (by Hutch)

And th-th-that’s all folks!

Comment from Mr. Dave
Time: August 26, 2017, 11:28 am

Ramsey Clark still deserves to be horizontal and cooling.

Comment from Mad Ivan
Time: August 26, 2017, 3:22 pm

@Rich Rostrom –


Nosy minor question on technique – did you examine all 97 posts by hand, or did you have some sort of web-scraping program/tool to get the raw data into a format you could statistically slice’n’dice?

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 26, 2017, 3:41 pm

@Rich Rostrom – Good job, thank you! Nice statistical summary.

Comment from dustoffmom
Time: August 26, 2017, 4:12 pm

Leon Uris. No earthly idea why he popped into my mind. Wait…he is still alive isn’t he?

Comment from Deborah HH
Time: August 26, 2017, 5:17 pm

Leon Uris—he died 2003. I haven’t read all his books, but the ones I did read were all heart-breakers.

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: August 26, 2017, 6:10 pm

I think I liked Mila 18 the most, tho I was a young teen when I read it. Think I still have a copy.

As an adult, I visited the Warsaw Ghetto Memorial and Pawiak Prison which was depressing. I then wandered around the area which is residential with large soviet style apt blocks. The area seemed empty of people. Later I read that someone was committing all these robberies (14) by hitting one over the head with a lead pipe. You either ended up in a coma or dead. 🙁

Comment from eirik
Time: August 26, 2017, 8:17 pm

Michelle Nicoles, who I believe is the oldest unclaimed Star trek ast member unclaied

Comment from Janna
Time: August 26, 2017, 8:53 pm

I obviously have WAY too much time on my hands. But, I’m stubbornly consistent.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 26, 2017, 9:08 pm

@eirik – I’m not sure if Nichelle Nichols¹ is the oldest, but she is now 84 years old, and quite a grand old lady. I’ve always had a fondness for her, and evidently so did Robert Heinlein who dedicated his novel Friday in part to Ms. Nichols.

1. Note proper spelling, which I’m including here so you don’t run afoul of Rule 4.

p.s. Looks like your keyboard has a balky “c”

Comment from Veeshir
Time: August 26, 2017, 10:33 pm

Woo hoo. I get to poach Ed Asner back from poachers!

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: August 26, 2017, 11:02 pm

Rosie O’Donnell

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: August 27, 2017, 2:34 am

Mad Ivan @ August 26, 2017, 3:22 pm wrote:

@Rich Rostrom –

Nosy minor question on technique – did you examine all 97 posts by hand, or did you have some sort of web-scraping program/tool to get the raw data into a format you could statistically slice’n’dice?

The latter. I have perl scripts which suck down the DP pages, trim off irrelevant HTML, and assemble what’s left into a single giant page. That gets opened and saved by hand, capturing the text. Another perl script runs through that text, extracting all the possible entries as single lines with multiple fields: DP#, entry #, player, time, date, and text that might contain a submitted name.

Now comes the main “hand” part: another perl script which is a simple editor for picking out submitted names. Because someone may have a long comment with the name, or three lines of intro text, or post a comment that has no entry in it (e.g. “RIP so-and-so, nobody had him”).

The result of this is a file with the new entries, one line each. That gets imported into my database of entries.

Then a second “hand” stage: alpha sort player names, eyeball for variants, and replace them with whatever I’ve decided is official (e.g. Janna is always capitalized), then alpha sort entry names and replace variants with standard or correct spelling (e.g. Jimmy Carter, not Jimmah, Ruth Bader Ginsburg not -zberg).

That step takes maybe 15 minutes.

Also mark winning entries (two minutes).

Then I run various queries and sorts against the database to generate those curious results.

I should note that I have an ulterior motive of sorts. I decided a while ago that I would never repeat myself, nor repeat an entry that had been submitted by anyone else. To insure the latter condition, having a clean list of all entries is extremely useful. It’s saved me from a mistake several times.

Comment from DurnedYankee
Time: August 27, 2017, 12:32 pm

You realize the rest of us might be looking at this backwards. Carl and Steve have HBO series class powers going on here.
Perhaps a pre-dead pool post is in order to suggest targets for Carl and Steve’s next picks.
We should be utilizing their powers for goodness and justice.
We could start with Robert Mugabe, or George Soros, and then get the bastard that left his dog tied to a tree in Victoria during Hurricane Harvey once he becomes a named celebrity a-hole.

We just need a catchy name for it like “The Weasel Dick Chamber” (which really isn’t very catchy).

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 27, 2017, 12:51 pm

@DurnedYankee – Call it the Dead Tool? Or maybe Dread Pool?

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: August 27, 2017, 12:55 pm

@Rich Rostrom – The only OCD-sounding part of all that is your focus on globally unique entries, but I’d actually characterize that as a meaningful whim.

Being a simply country programmer (ret’d), the rest sounds like an entertaining exercise. In any case, it’s a job well done and so: thanks!

Comment from Ric Fan
Time: August 27, 2017, 4:07 pm

Rosie O’Donnell is a horrible woman. I feel sorry for all those kids she adopted. All of them have psych problems post Rosie. What a coincidence.

Comment from RealMc
Time: August 27, 2017, 11:11 pm

One more time……

Clint Eastwood.

Comment from Conchi
Time: August 28, 2017, 12:34 am

Cloris Leachman (no witty comments)

Comment from tinman
Time: August 28, 2017, 1:09 am

Monty Hall

Comment from bds
Time: August 28, 2017, 1:46 am

Rose Marie

Comment from thefritz
Time: August 28, 2017, 12:22 pm

Hey Stoaty, was this a big deal? Accounts on our side of the pond made it sound so…


Comment from Ric Fan
Time: August 28, 2017, 1:41 pm

Actually Fritz, I think people are more concerned about this story:

Man has sex with Sunday roast chicken – but wife sticks by him.


Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: August 28, 2017, 2:56 pm

Most picked candidates:

96 Jimmy Carter
90 Kirk Douglas
86 Fidel Castro
85 Zsa Zsa Gabor
82 Robert Mugabe
82 Olivia De Havilland
81 Hugh Hefner
80 William Shatner
80 Billy Graham
79 Prince Phillip
78 Gordon Brown

All but two of these are still alive.

Not surprising since candidates tend to stop getting picked after they’re dead!

Comment from unkawill
Time: August 28, 2017, 3:33 pm

charlie sheen

Comment from Montenegro
Time: August 28, 2017, 6:15 pm

I take Robert Redford

Comment from Steve
Time: August 28, 2017, 6:30 pm

Since no one else has poached him yet –

Herman Wouk, one more time. He is a year older than Olivia de Havilland, after all.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: August 29, 2017, 1:24 am

Just cause I never won doesn’t mean I will give up. And for another totally different pick, how about Barbra Streisand. For no particular reason.

Comment from currently
Time: August 29, 2017, 1:58 am

George Lucas

Comment from bikeboy
Time: August 29, 2017, 9:56 pm

Jerry Lewis.

Oh, wait! He’s already assumed room temperature.

Jerry LEE Lewis, then. Last I heard, he was still taking nourishment and poundin’ the 88’s.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: August 30, 2017, 5:06 am

Die Gordon Brown, Die. It means “the Gordon Brown, the” in German.

Comment from spunkus
Time: August 31, 2017, 1:57 am

Gloria Steinem

Comment from Malcolm Kirkpatrick
Time: September 1, 2017, 6:19 pm

The hideous toad Jiang Zemin, of something stolen Falun Gong body parts cannot cure.

Comment from thefritz
Time: September 1, 2017, 9:45 pm

Shelley Berman played his last Catskill gig…


Comment from thefritz
Time: September 3, 2017, 3:46 pm

Say it ain’t so!
Walter Becker, dead at 67.


Comment from mandel bread
Time: September 4, 2017, 4:21 am

Bob Newhart

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 6, 2017, 1:29 am

It appears carl’s a winner with Cormac Murphy-O’Connor

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: September 6, 2017, 2:01 am

Carl strikes again: the (Catholic) Archbishop Emeritus of Westminster has ascended (or descended, depending on your theology) from Earth. I await his next pick with awe and dread.

Comment from spunkus
Time: September 13, 2017, 6:32 am

Dan Rather

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