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We came home Saturday afternoon to the strangest smell. I thought it smelled like a solvent. I was kind of right. It was beer.

A mini-keg of beer blew out at the bottom seam and leaked five liters of brewski into the library carpet, every drop of it by the time we got home. (Naturally, we keep the booze in the library. Don’t you?).

It was cool, it was dark. It was in date. Nothing was stacked on top of it. It was from a large commercial brewer. It was, appropriately enough, Old Speckled Hen. Honestly, I’m stymied.

Uncle B sent a huffy “what gives?” to the brewery (he’s very good at those) but we haven’t had a reply yet.

I bought it for my birthday. I had this vision that I would get up on my birthday morning, sit in my favorite chair and be pleasantly sozzled all day long. But I couldn’t figure out how to fit it in the fridge, and I’m not really a daytime drinker anyway. It sounded good in my head, but it never happened.

And now it never shall. Happy Monday!


Comment from Drew458
Time: August 19, 2019, 10:36 pm

While those 5 liter mini kegs are not that popular over here, we do have them. You put them in a cooler and fill it with ice, and then run the tap off the top button. Sadly, most of the ones sold here are used with the bottom spigot, so you do have to put them in the fridge. Maybe you need an American size fridge with adjustable shelves??

Comment from Ric
Time: August 19, 2019, 10:38 pm

Wow, the things we learn about you: You buy beer by the keg and you have a library….

Comment from Drew458
Time: August 19, 2019, 10:44 pm

Now please explain the difference between a northern and a southern style beer pour. That’s a pub thing lost on us Yanks!

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: August 20, 2019, 12:52 am

I read your post to my wife. Her response was: “At least it did not get on the books. You can replace carpet, but it is hard to replace books.”

I married a wise woman.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: August 20, 2019, 1:04 am

Ah, Bear Whizz Beer. As my pappy used to say, it’s in the water son!

I trust you didn’t damage any of the ‘reading material’ they’re using on the other side of the mirror.
After almost a year since the last adventure it wouldn’t do to upset them quite so soon.

As for those of us in hovel Durned, we are cold showering because our water heater went out, and even though we live in the very heart of man’s civilized western world (That is, DFW Metroplex Texas) we cannot get a replacement until the 1st week of Septober.

I’d really rather have to take cold showers than have 5 liters (litres- get a real system of measurement, bloody Frenchy Euros!) of beer on the carpet in the game room.

Comment from Durnedyankee
Time: August 20, 2019, 1:14 am

Rant mode – so, ‘carbon neutral donations’ were made to fly some, uh, people who want us to save the planet by cutting back on life while they go flying about hither and yon enjoying life as rich people who can afford carbon offset donations in addition to affording the cost of plane flights.

How very noble of them, no, I mean, how very proletariat of them.

To say nothing of the complete lack of evidence about how these carbon offsets actually DO offset the carbon dioxide or whatever their traveling spewed into the air. And further lack of evidence any of it has the dramatic effect they claim that will have the world ended in 12 years.

One would think if it were going to end that soon, they’d not be just buying offsets, they’d be buying offsets and NOT going anywhere because it’s such a horrendous outcome that they should be riding bicycles to and fro and not putting ANY of this awful carbon in the air.

unless of course…..it’s a giant money making control scam. Yes, that would be it.

Rubbish. The lot of them, and their schemes to keep the little people little through their hypocritical guild trips while they enjoy their high old lives.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: August 20, 2019, 5:50 am

Sigh… five liters of beer in the carpet.

It (in a rather unfortunate sense) reminds me of living in our Fraternity House in college.

To wit: the smell of old beer lingers for a long, long, long time.

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