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I’m reduced to this

We’ve finally reached the advanced age and modest level of prosperity that we want for nothing. If we desire a thing during the year, we buy it. If something breaks, we replace it right away.

Which is fine and all, except…Christmas. We are both utterly stumped for gifts. We neither of us collect things or have hobbies. We don’t like to travel or eat out and we dress like hobos by choice.

I’m reduced to cruising Ebay for quirk. Quirk is bad, y’all. Uncle B hates whimsy. At this rate, it’ll be an antique French mustache cup and a box of chocolates under the tree.

Wait, I’m’a try a little ginspiration.


Comment from durnedyankee
Time: November 29, 2023, 10:44 pm

I’ll check Mrs D’s Amazon list.
I’m sure there’s something on there YOU need.

Uncle B probably doesn’t want an expensive drone to whiz around over the pastoral countryside in England. Every year I consider asking for one, but if Santa wanted me to have one, I’d have one.

How about an M8 Greyhound scoutcar to tear up the pastoral English countryside?
http://www.tanksforsale.co.uk/WW2 M8 Greyhound Armoured car for sale page.html

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: November 29, 2023, 10:57 pm

Eh.I bought him a drone. Was not a hit.

Comment from MrKnowitall
Time: November 29, 2023, 11:12 pm

What’s this? No force-feedback steering wheel and pedal set for VR driving games? No paired joysticks for Elite Dangerous? No cozy camp booties for lounging about the fire? Are there no prisons? And the Union workhouses? Are they still in operation? … oh wait, different speech… Still Christmassy, tho!

Comment from The Neon Madman
Time: November 30, 2023, 12:08 am

The missus and I stopped buying presents for each other years ago, by mutual agreement. If she wants something, she buys it. If I do, likewise. It works out well.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: November 30, 2023, 12:40 am

Everybody in my gift-eligible circle already has all their needs and wants taken care of (those needs and wants being on the modest side). We tend to give each other things to eat and drink and thereby not clutter up the house.

I recommend avoiding fruitcake. Although I do love a good fruitcake, a significant minority of people consider it inedible and suitable only as door stop or wheel chock.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: November 30, 2023, 1:29 am

How about a nice quality gardener’s knife?


Comment from RushBabe
Time: November 30, 2023, 2:28 am

thefritz has taken the latest Dead Pool with Henry Kissinger. Time enough for a new one on Friday, Weezie?

Comment from Ben
Time: November 30, 2023, 2:47 am

Henry Kissinger
How I’m missing yer
You’re the Doctor of my dreams
With your crinkly hair and your glassy stare
And your machiavellian schemes
All right so people say that you don’t care
But you’ve got nicer legs than Hitler
And bigger tits than Cher
Henry Kissinger
How I’m missing yer
And wishing you were here

Comment from OldFert
Time: November 30, 2023, 4:46 am

As with The Neon Madman, Mrs Fert and I have what we want/need or get it when desired. However we still try to get each other something at Christmas.

Coffee cup and a box of chocolates it may be this year. Thanks for the idea.

FertKids, Fertkid spouses, and grandferts do alright, though.

Comment from ron
Time: November 30, 2023, 9:28 am

Hank tanked


Comment from Deborah HH
Time: November 30, 2023, 12:03 pm

Perhaps you could immortalize Uncle Badger’s visage on a coffee cup for Zazzle.

Comment from Armybrat
Time: November 30, 2023, 2:19 pm

I’m taking my husband- SGM, retired- to the Army-Navy game this year for Christmas. It’s in Foxboro MA this year so we’re doing a two-fer…visit some old friends and tick an item off his bucket list.

Comment from Jon
Time: November 30, 2023, 5:57 pm

Gin for everyone who drinks, and that snooty nonalcoholic stuff for everyone else?

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