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Happy omen


Until recently, the CoE would only consent to marry couples in their local church (or one of their local churches, if the two were from different parishes). So most of the people who lived in Badger House over the last four hundred years would certainly have been married in the ancient church around the corner. That’s why we were so dead-set on doing the same, despite — to put it mildly — not being church-going mustelids.

But services are held in a nearby parish in Winter, on account of our church has no electricity and the lane leading to it is muddy and impassible much of the time. We took a real risk picking February. The 14th was the earliest the vicar would consent to open the building (heh. And you thought one of us was an incurable romantic).

February in England is…iffy. It can be startling warm and sunny. It can be an absolute asshole. Predictions can change by the hour. I’ve been holding my breath for months.

This Saturday was…improbably gorgeous. Sunny, warm, high puffy clouds. Okay, yes, we had to walk to the church from the main road and our vows whuffed out in little puffs of holy vapor, but I got feeling back in my toes again after a couple of drinks and an hour or so in front of the fire.

Everything, from beginning to end, was…absolutely perfect.

Well, holy shit.

I’m taking a week off blogging. I gather I’m supposed to moon people or something. I think there’s honey involved. Thanks so much for the happy thoughts, everyone — y’all have been too kind. And all your good wishes came true, so you can start thinking about lottery numbers next, ‘k?

Oh, the picture? That, my friends, is weasel shit. Stoat plop, to be more precise. You can tell because it’s tiny and it’s wearing an ickle fur coat, courtesy of the more indigestible bits of its victims. The day was so lovely Saturday morning, I decided to walk into town for my hair ‘n’ stuff, and found this token of esteem lying right in my path.

So my family made it after all.


Comment from Joan of Argghh!
Time: February 16, 2009, 9:00 pm

Yep, that’s certainly how I can tell my family’s been around. They always shit on everything!

Many felicitations and best wishes for a marvewous mustewid mahwaige.

Comment from naleta
Time: February 16, 2009, 9:15 pm

Wow, you got a perfect day for your wedding. Here in Michigan, it was snowing again. I agree that the weather has to be an omen for you two. Enjoy the honeymoon!

Comment from Gromulin
Time: February 16, 2009, 10:01 pm

Congratulations, and best wishes.

Comment from scubafreak
Time: February 16, 2009, 10:18 pm

Well, you could always come to Colorado Springs on Vacation, and rededicate your vows in the Bridal Chamber in the Cave of the Winds…..

The Bridal Chamber is a VERY popular place here to take you nuptuals……

Comment from eddiebear
Time: February 17, 2009, 2:20 am

G-dspeed and all that.

Comment from lizardbrain
Time: February 17, 2009, 9:01 am

I must be some sort of dullard. I stop by here most mornings, and I never did catch on that you were gettin’ hitched.

Congratulations, Stoaty and Badger! May you have long and happy lives together.

Comment from Mike
Time: February 17, 2009, 11:03 am

Congrats to you and Uncle B both, Weas. May all the happiness in the world be yours.

Pingback from Weasel ties the knot | Cold Fury
Time: February 17, 2009, 11:05 am

[…] Go send ‘em some happy thoughts. Category: Uncategorized &#9830 &#9830 […]

Comment from Dawn
Time: February 17, 2009, 11:57 am

Happy Honeymoon!

Now for those of you still single and looking….


Comment from apotheosis
Time: February 17, 2009, 12:13 pm

Truism: there’s no subject to which black and white photography can’t lend an air of stark, sublime artistic integrity.

Even poops.

Congratulations to you both, Mrs. Weas. 😀

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: February 17, 2009, 12:59 pm

“our vows whuffed out in little puffs of holy vapor”

heh aheh aheh — an outward and visible sign.

No expert on scatological augury, but that’s a fine poo — may it portend every good thing for your union!

Comment from HoundOfDoom
Time: February 17, 2009, 1:23 pm

Well, darn, I guess there’s no chance for you and me. It was my fondest secret dream to raise a litter o’weasels, and have them crapping all over the neighborhood. I tried doing it myself, but it’s just not the same, dammit!

Have a happy honeymoon, I’ll be drinking myself into oblivion.

Buah-haaaa! Waaah!

Seriously, best wishes and all that!

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 17, 2009, 1:59 pm

No expert on scatological augury, but that’s a fine poo — may it portend every good thing for your union!

On no other blog in existence would a statement like that be uttered after a marriage – and accepted by all, automatically – and without comment – as the kind and sincere sentiment it was obviously intended to express!

This place is truly unique…

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: February 17, 2009, 2:09 pm

So that’s what mustelid scat looks like. Now I can cross it off my ‘Things to do before I buy the farm’ list.

Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: February 17, 2009, 3:20 pm

Perfect weather in Britain?! Pouring rain and hail in Phoenix!? Someone call Algor STAT!!! /iSarc

Again, Many Congratulations!

Comment from poindexter
Time: February 17, 2009, 3:47 pm

Congrats, congrats, congrats! Karma dictates that you have a perfect day for your wedding because of all the crap you’ve had to go through otherwise.

And watch out for those road signs! ..poindexter..

Comment from USCitizen
Time: February 17, 2009, 3:52 pm

Congratulations and the sincerest of best wishes for many years of happiness.

– USCitizen

Comment from Mikey NTH
Time: February 17, 2009, 4:43 pm

Congrats and all that.

I’ll hoist a beer to you and your good man.
(Not that I wouldn’t hoist a beer anyway, just this one will be dedicated.)

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 17, 2009, 7:42 pm

Enjoy this wonderful time, Lord and Lady Weasel-Badger of Allsex!

(Gibby – do you make naan? If so, could you e-mail me?)

Comment from Old Grouch
Time: February 17, 2009, 7:51 pm

Congratulations, you lucky people!

Comment from Jill
Time: February 17, 2009, 10:41 pm

Whoa…Dawn! Damn! Of all the stupid luck to not be Asian.

Comment from Jill
Time: February 17, 2009, 10:44 pm

Hey! They’re posting honeymoon snaps over at CuteOverload.com!


Comment from See-Dubya
Time: February 18, 2009, 1:20 am

Congratulations, you crazy kids!

Comment from apotheosis
Time: February 18, 2009, 1:33 am

Other news of Mustelidae in the Realm:


Comment from Fortunata
Time: February 18, 2009, 1:45 am

You can borrow my villa on Crete for your honeymoon. As long as we’re not there.

Comment from Gregory the First
Time: February 18, 2009, 4:38 am

Well, what’s so great about being Asian, Jill? You get shorter-than-average dicks (mine’s somewhat ~4 inches, not that anyone cares), smaller-than-average tits (yeah, not even a handful on *most* gals), somewhat neurotic parents bent on education (okay) and marriage (hey, cut me some slack!), and unless you’re a sushi-eating Japanese or a yakdung-burning Tibetan, likely to pop off at age 65.

Not seeing the benefits here. OTOH, Asian chicks are *hot*. Until you take off their panties and find out that their cocks are bigger than yours.

S. Weasel: Umm, did an actual Anglican priest marry you and all? With the vows that you bring your children up as Anglicans and stuff?


Comment from apotheosis
Time: February 18, 2009, 10:05 am

Well, what’s so great about being Asian, Jill?

Well, wasabi peas are pretty damn awesome.

Comment from Farmer_Joe
Time: February 18, 2009, 11:47 am


Comment from nbpundit
Time: February 18, 2009, 1:04 pm

Congrats Swease and Badge, may you always have clotted
cream with your strawberries.

Comment from Lemur King
Time: February 18, 2009, 1:23 pm

As Muslihoon typed, I’m sure you answered, and I missed… do we refer to you as “Ms. Weasel-Badger” or what? Oh how to be proper in this enlightened day and age… how, I ask you?

Many congratulations and well-wishes. Lemurs dance for joy.

Let us know whether smearing butts with honey and mooning folks is all it is said to be. 🙂

Comment from Sarah D.
Time: February 18, 2009, 1:23 pm

Why do I keep hearing Muskrat Love in my head??

Congratulations you two! Best news I’ve had in a looong time!

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: February 18, 2009, 3:24 pm

Best news I’ve had in a looong time!

So true. Thank you for providing us a ray of hope.

Comment from scubafreak
Time: February 18, 2009, 7:00 pm

Hey Stoatie, got a nice Wedding present for ya…

Christopher “I paid to get waterboarded” Hitchens got his ass beat in Lebanon the other night. He apparently defaced a political poster (While Drunk) in front of several mavens of that particular party, who took grave exception to the act…….. LOL

http ://abumuqawama.blogspot.com/2009/02/hitchens-beaten-by-ssnp.html

Comment from Allen
Time: February 20, 2009, 8:35 pm

Calling all Minions! OK, while she’s mooning her honey, let’s rustle.

Seems to me, she left us a box full of newspaper strips that we can do “stuff” in.

Here’s mine, new litters Aaaawwoooo!

We can’t forget the smiley’s 🙂

Comment from BJM
Time: February 20, 2009, 10:13 pm

Congrats Stoat & Badger!

Okay, is it just me or does anyone else see a tiny cat face in the stoat poop? Look at the middlemost left third of the picture in the shadowy part.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 20, 2009, 10:38 pm

Damn, BJM – I see yours.

I just saw one earlier today during my daily Weasel Site Snoop, but a different one.

I thought about commenting on it, and then decided not to.

Its at the tail-end (towards the bottom) of the poo – its the light area to the right of the long, dark shadow – and is a cat looking over its left shoulder more-or-less at the viewer. It has a big bushy tail.

I’m confident that all this means something quite profound. I’m also almost always wrong…

BTW: nice pups, Allen!

Comment from Gibby Haynes
Time: February 21, 2009, 11:24 am

Gibby – do you make naan? If so, could you e-mail me?

Sorry, I’ve only just noticed that.

No, I don’t. I made it once, but it was a godawful, yeasty, starchy mess. That’s why I asked you if you had a recipe, if you remember.

I just get it from the local Indian. Their kulcha naan is delectable. One of these days I’ll work up the courage to ask them for a recipe.

What do you want to know about naan for? Are you entertaining company? A ladyfriend, perhaps?

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: February 21, 2009, 2:02 pm

Finding the cat in scat? (sorry)

I see it too, now that you point it out. To my eye, it appears to be looking nervously at that gigantic boot — can’t really blame it, considering how its day began!

There’s an abundance of cat lore, but how much of it pertains?

Not stepping in poo is always a good thing, but apparently, if Stoaty had stepped on the cat’s tail, that would have postponed the wedding for another ten years — so, altogether, a lucky synergy of poo, cat, and boot?

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 21, 2009, 2:59 pm

I think you’re onto something there, Mrs. H. That cat is not just looking over its shoulder; its looking right at the shoe toe. In obvious apprehension, as you say.

If nothing else, all those terms you mention might make a heck of a haiku or limerick. Cat, scat, synergy, poo, boot … where is Lokki and his Power-Muse when we need him? A nice rich wedding limerick would be nice….especially since Stoaty is still mooning her honey (more terms!) this weekend. Or whatever…

Comment from Dawn
Time: February 21, 2009, 3:45 pm

I just stared at weasel poo looking for a cat. And I found it, too! Stoaty should not leave us alone like this. We start to get the shakes.

Comment from Machinist
Time: February 22, 2009, 6:49 am

Who but the Weasel,
could get so many people,
staring into poop?

Finding in the scat,
so many things unlikely,
outside the mind’s eye.

At each suggestion,
more cats are seen in the pile.
Want to try snipe hunt?

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 22, 2009, 11:49 am

A Stoat on her path found some poo
On her way to her pre-wedding ‘do
“There is Cat in that scat!”
Declared minion brats
“Don’t let it get stuck on your boot!”

“Boot poo and cat scat – they be damned!
This here wedding will go off as planned!”
“My dear Badger I know
Is so wanting to know
What his Weasel looks like honey-canned!”

Comment from porknbean
Time: February 22, 2009, 2:48 pm

Are ya back yet? Are ya back yet?

Quit the mooning of your honey already. What are yas, newlyweds?

Comment from Machinist
Time: February 23, 2009, 4:40 am

Missing in action,
“Come back!”, the minions lament.
Newlyweds don’t care.

Comment from Machinist
Time: February 23, 2009, 4:44 am

Expect no details,
but you can bet their actions
add global warming.

Comment from Machinist
Time: February 23, 2009, 4:57 am

Limericks are fine,
but Mac can’t count much beyond,
the five, seven, five.

Comment from Steamboat McGoo
Time: February 23, 2009, 6:13 am

Weasel and Badger
Quite thoroughly honey-mooned
Back in the saddle?

Comment from apotheosis
Time: February 23, 2009, 10:45 am

Apparently “honeymoon” implies an entire lunar cycle. 😛

Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: February 23, 2009, 12:59 pm

You people have the attention spans of ten-year-olds. 😛 I keed, I keed.

Comment from Machinist
Time: February 23, 2009, 2:32 pm

“Back in the saddle?”,
Are you asking positions?
Should not be nosy.

Comment from Machinist
Time: February 23, 2009, 2:36 pm

Short attention span,
comes with drinking and old age.
Probably worth it.

Comment from Machinist
Time: February 23, 2009, 2:39 pm

Forget names and such,
but never lack for stories.
Tell same ones again!

Comment from wendyworn
Time: February 23, 2009, 6:37 pm

Has it been a week?
Can’t hold my breath anymore.
Come on already!!!!!

well, just kidding. enjoy yourself…GRRR ok! I’m not kidding! I think I speak for everyone that we miss you and are going crazy out here with out you!!

it’s ok. we can wait. patiently.

*dts ya know*

Comment from Nicholas the Slide
Time: February 23, 2009, 7:10 pm

Apparently “honeymoon” implies an entire lunar cycle. 😛

Actually, I believe it originally did… about a month of the newlywed bride and groom spent in isolation. That was back when the main purpose of the Best Man and Groomsmen was to come armed to protect the wedding couple from jealous former or propsective suitors of the bride who might raid the celebrations for hope of stealing the maiden before the marriage was properly consummated.

The honeymoon, along with its obvious and still currently accurate purpose, was also used to put the new couple “off the radar” for a while, preventing yet more attempts at interruption and – in the case of unwilling, married-off brides – to secure the realization that the marriage was complete and official.

Marriage in the olden days was brutal apparently. 😆

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