sweasel.com

Rats!

Next time I’ll slip a Beretta into her jacket pocket.

…they took that rinky dink knife away? What are they afraid of? That you’ll become the next Jack the Ripper with that knife?

Weasels have claws don’t they?

They gave it back. When I left.

I must tell you that our local courthouse does not allow knives, tools or cellphones to be carried into the building by people entering. When I have to go get some paperwork, or pay for something, I make sure to have only my wallet and my car key with me. My phone and purse are securely locked in the car (tucked under the seat out of sight, too). They won’t hold items for you to pick up on your way back out, either. And this is in AMERICA!

Oh, yeah. When I had my fingerprints taken (for the fiancée visa) in Hartford, Connecticut, I had to leave my cellphone in the car trunk. I can understand not allowing you to talk on them, but not allow them in the building…?

Okee dokee Stoaty – Isabelle pictures are up. Thanks for the visits and well wishes.

I showed up for jury duty in Syracuse, N.Y.
Went through the rigamarole at the courthouse. They did a thourough investigation of me for having a small basic flashlight in my purse. I was released from jury duty, and they apparently thought about not returning my friggin flashlight. I raised hell, and they gave it back to me and then ESCORTED me from the courthouse! LMAO @ those embiciles, I did!
They paid me $40.00 for jury duty, and then paid me another $200.00 for not raising anymore hell about it. Fuckers!

Thank God I no longer live in dear old Blighty. A quick inventory of my person reveals the following:

* 1 8cm lockknife
* 1 6cm flickknife
* 1 multipurpose tool, multiple blades
* 1 Swiss Army knife, ditto
* 1 pr collapsible scissors
* 1 Compo ration tin opener, which can give you a right prod

I need to get inside computer cases and do hacky electrical things on a regular basis. Plus open tins. I would submit that none of the above, in a sensible society, make me a desperado.

On the plus side, no horse need ever fear having a stone in its hoof if I am in the immediate vicinity. On the minus side, if I’m ever over in the UK and accidentally walk out the door carrying that lot, Hampshire constabulary will probably scramble their helicopter.

I went to the courthouse Friday to apply for my 2 daughter’s passports. They would not let me take my Palm Handheld (non-cell phone!) and a small keychain flashlight with a single LED light on it. The Palm was said to be “an electronic thing” and the LED light was a “laser pointer”. Neither has been off my person in like 12 years, so I felt naked without them. Meanwhile, last year my brother walked through “airport security” with a 3 lb. Swiss Army Knife with like 9 separate blades in it among the 60 or so other gadgets. It was attached to his belt in its leather holder. The man said “that cell phone is OK!” and he walked through. (He had forgotten it was there.)

It’s good to know Britain will keep others safe from your small utility blades (while promoting terrorists with the stipulation that they worship the “religion of peace”).

I thought badgers were black and white.

Never been to Croydon. And (unless I somehow get kidnapped and taken there) I never will. And that’s just fine by me.

I like gardening and taking cuttings of things when I’m out walking, so I’ve got a Swiss Army Knife and a miniature Stanley knife-type affair in my pocket no matter what. I live in the country though, so nobody gives a shit. And quite right too.

Ah, look at all this loverly rain. This makes up for that obnoxiously dry and sunny April.

Croydon, I remember taking the bus to the big city of Croydon when I was a kid. Then again, back then it was considered outside of London.

Hell, I’m so biometrified that when I even get near any machine that’s doing the checky stuff the lights and sirens go off like the 4th of July.

I feel it’s like that robot from Lost in Space. Danger, danger, Allen is near.

If I understand correctly, you can be arrested for carrying a knife with a locking blade of any size, or a knife that is over 3 inches? Can you get a permit to conceal carry if you are a trades-person or a roaming Japanese Steakhouse Chef?

That folder is a beaut, Weasey. Want.

Worse, Pups. Apparently, you can be arrested for carrying the knife I was carrying — under 3″ and non-locking. Any knife at all. But he wasn’t obliged to turn me in because it was under 3″ and non-locking.

So if we’d been stopped for something else and I had to empty my pockets, I’d’ve been nicked.

Horrible place, Croydon. We used to drive through it on our way from Uncle B’s place in SE London to the coast. He’d point out Lunar House and tell me that’s where the immigrants go. Brrrrr.

Maybe you should take up Cricket. Kind of tough to clean your nails with one of those bats though.

“And my fingerprints? “In the permanent database” the helpful brochure informs me.”

Cool! I’ll look out for them on a disc left on a train, or bus, near me! 😉

“…Hampshire constabulary will probably scramble their helicopter.”

Unless the local travellers have been round to break all its windows, of course…

Apparently, you can be arrested for carrying the knife I was carrying — under 3″ and non-locking. Any knife at all.

This is madness!
THIS IS ENGLAND!!!

Good thing you’re in the permanent database though. If they’d put you in the temporary one you’d just have to come back and do it all again.

Well, since I’m roaring down memory lane anyway. I looked up where we used to live, Addington Village

If you scroll down you’ll see St Mary’s church. We used to cut through the graveyard to get home. Only problem, we had to climb on headstones to get over the wall. That Vicar was kind of mean. Hey, it wasn’t my fault the headstone was loose. It just fell over, I swear.

I suppose it’s all gone to the dogs now.

Never been through Addington, but it’s far enough out from town that it might still be nice. Many places outside London but within commuting distance are owned by very, very rich people who work in the City. So driving out from town it goes from grim urban to lovely like the throw of a switch.

So, Allen. Are you a Brit or a Yank? I swear, it won’t change how we feel about you.

I swear.

It’s worse than that Weasel, I’m a Californian. I guess I’m about to find out what it means when your state goes bankrupt.

We moved to England in the mid-sixties when I was still a lad. We left in the early seventies. It was kind of bizarre adapting from California to England then to North Carolina. That was a bit of fresh hell entering high school in Raleigh NC with an English accent.

“In the permanent database,” eh Stoaty? That’s even better than, “My I see your papers please?”
On the plus side though, maybe it will work out like in Rollerball where they “lost” the Renaissance.

When my daughter was in London a few years ago, she was offered a brand-new, still-in-the-grease, Beretta 9mm. SMG. As I remember the price was 400 pounds or so.

That doesn’t surprise me too much, Bob (though that’s a pretty decent price for a new Beretta, isn’t it?). Our handyman in London told us he could get us a handgun, no problem.

That would, of course, mean instant deportation with extreme prejudice. But this place is much more porous to guns than they believe.

Son was stationed at RAF Machrihanish when the U.S. Navy was still there. He made good friends with a couple in the nearby town, whose little boys were stunned and in awe to learn that Son carried a pocket knife (a dainty little Buck), and got his first gun when he was seven (Daisy BB gun), and a real shotgun (.410)—when he was ten. He explained that he was carefully schooled in gunmanship starting with the BB gun, but it was still a terrible shock for the parents and the children.

I’ve carried one of those baby Swiss Army knives since high school, though mine’s black rather than the classic red.
http://tinyurl.com/yvh6ac

Opens most computers quite nicely.

I see they now make them in translucent pink. Any knife that comes in pink should be street legal in a sane society.