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Say, is that a pie funnel under your crust, or are you happy to see me?


A little something Uncle B whipped up. It involves kidneys. And pie crust. Hells no I didn’t taste it.

Please savor his culinary triumph in place of my usual thoughtful and engaging blog post. I got jammed up tonight trying to do the layouts for the church guidebook.

Yes, really.

Shut up.


Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: May 21, 2009, 7:51 pm

Nothing like a pot of simmering steak and kidney to clear your kitchen of weasels, I can tell you that.

Even better than a long spray with a can of Weasel-B-Gone.

Comment from armybrat
Time: May 21, 2009, 8:14 pm

ummmmm….kidney? See, I’m always amazed that we share a common ancestery. But then again, this is probably right up there on the list of why my ancestors fled the UK (ok, it was really Ireland…so even more reasons to unass the old country).

Comment from Phineas
Time: May 21, 2009, 8:30 pm

Kidneys aren’t the problem…Who shrunk your potatos?

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: May 21, 2009, 8:35 pm

I’ll have you know they are yuppie potatoes – you pay extra fro them to look like shrunken, misshapened testicles.

Actually, the variety is called Anya, and they’re quite nice.

Comment from armybrat
Time: May 21, 2009, 8:50 pm

they’re called fingerling potatos in the US. But let’s get back to the topic…..ya’ll really like to eat kidneys?

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: May 21, 2009, 8:55 pm

I got jammed up tonight trying to do the layouts for the church guidebook.

Hang on now! Is Weasel WORKING?? I thought that was against, like, intergalactic law, or something.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: May 21, 2009, 9:08 pm

You know, it’s strange, armybrat. When I was a young cub, every badger ate kidneys. Indeed, steak and kidney pie was a very great favourite with (it seemed) most people.

Damnit, we used to eat ‘devilled’ kidneys (in hot sauce) for breakfast – as a treat!

Over the years, though (no doubt infected by American squeamishness!) it seems to be in decline – much as is the general willingness to eat liver.

God knows why. I mean.. once you have decided to eat another animal, where do you stop?

I suppose we all have our limits. I’m not keen on testicles, eyeballs, lungs and hearts (all of which have their devotees) but I know damned well I do eat them when I indulge in a hotdog or a burger.

We’re all turning into pussies, I tell you – and not the hearthrug kind!

The Chinese will take over. They exhibit absolutely none of this pansified behaviour.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: May 21, 2009, 9:10 pm

Totally illegal, Enas. I freaked when they wanted to give me a credit in the acknowledgements. I’m just a neighbor helping a neighbor, ‘K?

It’s true, too. I’m pouring the most unmitigated shit into Word. It’s too messed up to disentangle, so I’m really just a typist on this one.

Comment from Andrea Harris
Time: May 21, 2009, 11:02 pm

Andrew Zimmern would eat your food and love it. Not me, though. My grandmother liked nothing more than to serve up a dish of liver and onions, and once, tongue. Those were the few times I wouldn’t eat her cooking.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: May 22, 2009, 12:17 am

The kidney is a noble organ. As long as you thoroughly wash the crystallised piss out of it, it lends body and depth to any stew, ragout or pie (well, maybe not apple, but you catch my drift). I am fortunate in that a friend of mine, tapping the rich vein of expat Brit nostalgia, sells steak and kidney pot pies. They’re a whole day’s carb ration, but I just double up on the Gliclazide and have at it.

The cardinal sin of serving the miscellaneous non-muscle bits of an animal is over-cooking. Trust me: if you have ever tried liver or tongue prepared by someone who knows what they are doing, you will be royally chagrined by all the missed culinary opportunities. When I were a lad, a platter of thin-sliced tongue was as much a part of a buffet as a bowl of Coronation Chicken.

For the true offal aficianado, the ne plus ultra of dishes containing wobbly bits is haggis. It is made from the ‘pluck’ of a sheep (heart, liver and lungs). I unapologetically genuflect in the direction of that part of my Scottish heritage. It is sublime. During my next venture behind the Brown Curtain, I shall make it a priority to have some.

Comment from Machinist
Time: May 22, 2009, 1:52 am

I’m throwing up a little in my mouth.

Comment from Roman Wolf
Time: May 22, 2009, 2:33 am

Looks good, Unlce B. And I’m not being sarcastic with that. I’m probably the only member of my generation who likes to eat “weird” things.

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: May 22, 2009, 3:12 am

I got jammed up tonight trying to do the layouts for the church guidebook.

Yeah, I can see how it might be difficult, what with your eyes and hands always bursting into flames, and the constant near-missed with blots-from-the-blue…

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: May 22, 2009, 8:32 am

It’s true, Scott. The local fire brigade has got so sick of being called out, they’ve gone on strike.

It’s that awful smell if singed weasel…

Comment from Richard
Time: May 22, 2009, 9:22 am

Steak and kidney pie isn’t weird! Lovely, a real treat ever since I was a kid, and that wasn’t very long ago. Always my choice in the chip shop.

Comment from Andrea Harris
Time: May 22, 2009, 10:49 am

I had haggis when I was in Scotland, many moons ago. As I recall it actually wasn’t bad.

Comment from Bob
Time: May 22, 2009, 11:33 am

Mmmmm… It’s offally good!

Since I married a Chinese, I’ve developed an appreciation for many cuts that we Yanks give to the dogs.

Comment from Allen
Time: May 22, 2009, 11:42 am

The real huevos rancheros. Yes, ranch eggs, cutting and branding season with the little soon to be steers. Lop ’em off, stick ’em with a flaming hot iron then lunch.

Tastes like chicken. Well sort of.

Comment from scubafreak
Time: May 22, 2009, 1:02 pm

I hate to say it, UB, but the pie looks lke it has a giant botfly maggot poking up through the top ot it. 😉

Pingback from Daily Pundit » Yes, Brits Eat
Time: May 22, 2009, 1:36 pm

[…] very strange things. […]

Comment from Sigivald
Time: May 22, 2009, 5:03 pm

Steak and kidney pie is brilliant, though.

Comment from Войска ПВО
Time: May 22, 2009, 5:30 pm

It puts me in mind of Basil Fawlty’s pronouncement when asked about the readiness of the other citizens of Torquay to enjoy haute cuisine:

“..the menu will consist of a large trough of baked beans, garnished with a couple of dead dogs.”

Or something like that.

Comment from Randy Rager
Time: May 22, 2009, 5:50 pm

Pan fried heart can be quite good, actually. Intense flavor, and better than Viagra, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. I never got the hang of preparing tongue, and I think I’ll pass on the kidney and lungs.

Oh, and liver sucks, no matter how it’s prepared.

Comment from apotheosis
Time: May 23, 2009, 12:35 am

Spectacles, testicles, wallet, watch.

Really, how much more guidebook does one need?

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