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Because everything should taste like bacon


Bacon salt. I get a little hankering for some down-home processed chemical fake empty-calorie useless tongue-corroding junk from time to time, and this seemed perfect.

So, does it? Not really. Well, kind of. To the same degree and for the same reason Bacos tastes a little like bacon and a little like armpit: it’s made from paprika and autolyzed yeast extract and like that.

Put it this way: bacon salt is low in sodium. And it’s kosher.



Comment from dfbaskwill
Time: August 17, 2009, 6:08 pm

At least its real. The “Squeeze bacon” that was advertised on thinkgeek.com was just a April fools joke. I would have loved bacon from a squeeze tube. Bacon is the worlds most perfect food. And not that Canadian junk!

Comment from apotheosis
Time: August 17, 2009, 6:20 pm

How could the Brits not have bacon?

They have salt pork to go with their hardtack, that must be SORTA bacony.

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: August 17, 2009, 6:20 pm

Have you ever thought about the Bacon of the Month club Stoaty? You get a pig nose and everything! Dunno if they ship to the UK though.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 17, 2009, 6:56 pm

Oh, yes. Brits have bacon. Many varieties, in fact, and all of them very nice. But they’re mostly thick, wide rashers of chewy salt pork, not thin crispy strips. Put it this way: I often add fat to the frying pan when cooking British bacon. M’kay?

Once in a while, we find some genuine imported Oscar Mayer. And there’s a thin dry cured bacon we can get in Waitrose that is very acceptable.

Perhaps if I can earn some money, Enas, I can treat myself.

Comment from NancyPants
Time: August 17, 2009, 7:07 pm

Mmmmm, bacon …

Yoder’s of Burkettsville, Ohio, has (I kid you not) Canned Bacon. Other than the added smoke flavor, it is plain old cooked American bacon that can sit on the pantry shelf. Dump it into a pan, heat to desired crispiness, and enjoy! There are a gazillion websites that sell it, but no idea if any ship across the pond.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 17, 2009, 7:19 pm

Good lord, Nancy! What an interesting Google search that makes. Thank you.

Cannedbacon.com is a good place to start.

Comment from Richard
Time: August 17, 2009, 7:30 pm

You should try cheap bacon, thinly-sliced and cooked without added fat over a medium heat in a frying pan (or under a medium grill). It will go as crispy as you like. That’s how I prefer it, and I know it is hard to get it like that when you are out but at home you can do it with British (or Danish) bacon!

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: August 17, 2009, 8:10 pm

Pay The Weasel no heed, Richard.

It’s all for dramatic effect. To read the stuff she writes you’d think she was starving nigh unto death in a land of pigs trotters and tongue sandwiches.

And they’re only on Wednesdays. Everyone knows that.

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: August 17, 2009, 8:11 pm

The two fat ladies used to cook with bacon constantly, they’d use the fat or wrap things in bacon, damn their food looked good. Its not for nothing they were both hugely obese and one died of heart failure. But what a way to go.

Comment from Chef Mojo
Time: August 17, 2009, 9:06 pm

British bacon sucks the big one. The Brits do not do bacon well. I remember traveling through the country and staying in B&Bs. The bacon at breakfast made me appreciate the kippers and bone dry toast. Greasy, limp and a taste that made me long for bacon bits. No, it took the English in Virginia to figure bacon out 400 years ago. Why it never caught on back in the Ye Olde Country is something I find rather vexing.

On another note. The Two Fat Ladies were/are goddesses of the Culinary Pantheon. I imagine where they knew where to get the good bacon, rare as it is.

Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: August 17, 2009, 10:46 pm

Best bacon I ever had was at a B&B on the Firth of Forth in Scotland. So, Chief Mojo is just being parochial.

Comment from Deborah
Time: August 18, 2009, 1:30 am

If you can’t buy proper bacon, I suppose tortillas are out of the question, too.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 18, 2009, 7:31 am

You can get the Old el Paso fixin’s, Deborah. That’s as close as it gets. I made tacos for my birfday.

Comment from Bronwen
Time: August 18, 2009, 12:24 pm

I think they make bacon mayonaise now too. 🙂

Comment from JuliaM
Time: August 18, 2009, 1:17 pm

“The two fat ladies used to cook with bacon constantly, they’d use the fat or wrap things in bacon.”

To be fair, they did cook a lot of game, and a grouse or partridge without a bit of bacon is, well, about as appetising as the styrofoam tray it sits in…

Comment from armybrat
Time: August 18, 2009, 6:43 pm

Two words….caul fat. Now bacon is best and bacon fat is the next best thing to sex, but wrapping things in caul fat adds in fat, moisture and richness. Kinda the other next best thing to sex.

Comment from cbullitt
Time: August 18, 2009, 7:40 pm

Stoaty, you’re a Goddess. Not that you weren’t before, but now with bacon…well.

Comment from Rustbucket
Time: August 18, 2009, 7:41 pm

My betrothed gets a fearsome case of the gout if she even TOUCHES pork. She loves (loved?) bacon, ham, even livermush, but had to give up all things pork several years ago. I bought her the gift set of the Bacon Salts (for Christmas, no less), and was she ever grateful. It’s not great, just good, but she loves it…and that makes me happy. It is definitely worth trying, especially if you can’t have the real thing.

Comment from NancyPants
Time: August 18, 2009, 8:19 pm

Tongue sandwiches? Be still my heart! Mum is from P.E.I. and cooked beef tongue on a regular basis. All of us loved it. With seven people, there was never really enough to go around.

I am so bummed that the Two Fat Ladies are no more. Being a long gun gal, I especially liked their 12-gauge adventures.

Comment from armybrat
Time: August 18, 2009, 8:43 pm

I can’t believe that with a thread that has the words livermush (I’m sure the revolution was more directed at such a beast than the abstract of taxation without representation!)and beef tongue (people really eat that shit short of starvation?) that people aren’t throwing all sorts of recipes up here….or at least throwing up.
/caul fat

Comment from Allen
Time: August 18, 2009, 10:34 pm

I do my moose roasts wrapped in bacon, that and elk too. Speaking of diet me trail horse has been off his feed. I suspected he was a bit impacted so I tended him and called the vet.

So, we tubed him this morning and he’s been farting mineral oil all evening. The good news is I had to wash my horse’s ass.

What’s for dinner? Enchiladas with green chile sauce, but my appetite has waned a bit.

Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: August 18, 2009, 10:41 pm

armybrat – I love a crispy tongue sandwich!

Comment from porknbean
Time: August 18, 2009, 10:50 pm

What the hell is caul fat?

*too lazy to look it up*

Comment from porknbean
Time: August 18, 2009, 11:01 pm

Nevermind, I went and looked. Ew.

Comment from Roman Wolf
Time: August 18, 2009, 11:07 pm

Everything should taste like bacon. I heard a business around here is doing quite well selling chocolate covered bacon.

Me? I’m off to cook some nice crispy bacon.

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: August 19, 2009, 9:02 am

Bacon wrapped in caul fat…Mmmmmmm

Pingback from Sarah Et Cetera » Free for All Friday 34
Time: August 21, 2009, 8:07 am

[…] teh end.” So I’ve moved it here, to the middle, so you can aim laser concentration at Because Everything Should Taste Like Bacon: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SEND ME THINGS THAT TASTE LIKE BACON!!! I am stranded in a country where […]

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