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We want you to eat it. Just eat it.

hulahoopShe never disappoints, our most elegantest first lady, does she? Michelle, honey — ENOUGH WITH THE BIKER LEATHER AND CARDIGANS. See, this is what happens when you tell somebody everything she does is fabulous. She’ll be wearing her panties outside her slacks next. You watch.

Obama also managed a spot-on imitation of kids whining about eating their vegetables.

“I don’t wanna eat it. I don’t like it. It tastes bad. I don’t want it,” the first lady said in her best nasal whine.

Then she added: “We don’t want to hear the whining. We want you to eat it. Just eat it.”

OMG, that’s, like, spot on.

Snark aside, she’s a much better natural politician than her husband. I watched her on the campaign trail; she was very comfortable working a room. She connected with people in a way he doesn’t.

Him, he can’t order a fucking waffle without making it sound like Martin Luther King’s I Have a Dream speech. Once that gets boring, he’s got nothing.

So, yes, on the whole, I’m content for Michelle to spend her time lofting a hula-hoop in those ugly-ass sweater combos.


Comment from Tesla
Time: October 22, 2009, 5:46 pm

Perhaps that wonderful, witty, weasel woman would be good enough to whip up a progression of big M.O.’s clothing failures-vamp to camp to clamp to whatever. Kinda like the evolution progression posters. I sure would like to see what the panties on the outside looked like. That is Woody Allen, isn’t it?

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 22, 2009, 6:28 pm

Umm, not to be mean or anything, but doesn’t she have a rather high badonkadonk factor to be doing that safely? She could put some kids eye out with that thing……

Comment from harbqll
Time: October 22, 2009, 6:36 pm

M’chell, just an FYI –

Chicks with big giant asses really should not wear wide, waist-cinching leather belts and then hula-hoop in public. Really. And this is a guy saying this, and you know that when a GUY is giving you fashion advice, you’ve well and truly fucked things up.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: October 22, 2009, 7:11 pm


Comment from Pupster
Time: October 22, 2009, 7:19 pm


Comment from BuckNutty
Time: October 22, 2009, 7:22 pm

She puts the ‘ass’ in class…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 22, 2009, 7:23 pm

It’s a funny thing, Scoob. She looks ass-tastic in lot of snapshots. She looks quite slim in others. I don’t know if they’re P’shopping her official photos, or if she’s got the sort of two-dimensional posterior that only looks HUGE from some angles.

That latter, it doesn’t seem likely, does it?

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 22, 2009, 7:41 pm

Reminds me of the inflatable life vests we used in the Navy while doing flight desk ops. Pull the chord and BOOM, two air bladders inflated.

I wonder if someone is pulling her chord, or if she just needs to lay off the Beans and fajitas

Comment from iamfelix
Time: October 22, 2009, 8:27 pm

“We don’t want to hear the whining. We want you to eat it. Just eat it.”

Should be The Motto for the entire administration. I’m surprised they haven’t inscribed it on the Presidential Seal. Maybe they could use Weird Al’s “Beat It”/”Eat It” parody instead of “Hail To The Chief.”

Comment from Rustbucket
Time: October 22, 2009, 8:29 pm

I thought collars were to be worn around a bitch’s neck, not under her mammaries.

Comment from Shifty1
Time: October 22, 2009, 10:07 pm

I think you’re on to something….it might be some type of wardrobe gadget that she can stap herself into to tame the wide load when she needs to. Although…..as a Klingon war-bride, does M’Chele undergo some sort of hideous transformation when her testosterone levels get too high, say for instance the Dear Leader forgets to put the seat down, or she catches him sneaking a Kool? Sort of like a “fight or flight” reflex…only more “fight or rip-his-jug-eared-head–off”reflex?!? I’m not up on my Klingon physiology.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 22, 2009, 10:35 pm

Well Shifty, the Stegosaurus was able to lower it’s dorsal plates to catch the sun, or raise them in defense, and the puffer fish can inflate itself to look more intimidating, so I suppose that a similar mechanism may be in play here.

I’m still inclined to believe that it is an inflatable prostesis, however….

I’m a little distracted. I’m watching ‘The Fog’ on my laptop between calls, and Adrienne Barbeau’s nanny just got wacked by the leper ghosts….

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: October 23, 2009, 12:15 am

Gotta say, Adrienne Barbeau was definately a babe back in the day…

Comment from Deborah
Time: October 23, 2009, 12:33 am

Personally, I think that it’s oh-so-fitting that the press focuses on her clothing. They can’t write about how smart she is, or that hospital job she had in Chicago, or how good a lawyer she (oops—I don’t think they like to talk about her law license) … .

All that’s left is her wardrobe and her eyebrows (her fashion advisers had her “soften” them, so she would look more welcoming and gracious).

Comment from weirdsister
Time: October 23, 2009, 3:01 am

The bulk of MO’s photos have to be Photoshopped, because her ass looks gi-normous on video, yet amazingly slim on the magazine covers. Coincidence? Ha! I think NOT!

Comment from porknbean
Time: October 23, 2009, 1:05 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHA….Rustbucket, good one!!

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: October 23, 2009, 8:38 pm

S. Weasel:

That latter, it doesn’t seem likely, does it?


/Not only no, but HELL NO!


Reminds me of the inflatable life vests we used in the Navy while doing flight desk ops. Pull the chord and BOOM, two air bladders inflated.

Sometimes a typo is just a typo…but you wouldn’t believe the mental imagery conjured up by “air bladders” and “flight desk ops.”

//Oh! And I have secured my place in history with Comment No. 45000! Congratulations, Weas!

///Any of those cool prizes like they used to do for “You are the 45,000th shopper at the Possum Flats Piggly-Wiggly?”

Comment from appmus
Time: October 23, 2009, 9:08 pm

She wears the belts to hide her BUTT.
That woman has the a behind to match BHO’s Ears

Comment from Christopher Taylor
Time: October 24, 2009, 11:27 pm

Well Shifty, the Stegosaurus was able to lower it’s dorsal plates to catch the sun, or raise them in defense,

Damn its amazing what they can tell from very partial skeletal remains distorted over millions of years of pressure and fossilized huh?

Comment from athrillofhope
Time: October 27, 2009, 3:57 pm


Fabulous! Just FAB-U-LOUS!!!!

Skin deep is the hallmark of this Administration. Other First Ladies write books, run charities, christen ships. No, NOT THIS ONE! She’s FABULOUS! She doesn’t have to DO A THING because she’s just FABULOUS! I feel that tingle going down my leg!

Never has the manner in which a First Lady was “covered” by the news media been so similar to the manner used for the respective President. The Kennedys come close. But even then, neither the First Lady nor the President were not trying to systematically destroy the country in order to realize their Marxist One World Utopia.

Comment from athrillofhope
Time: October 30, 2009, 2:06 pm

“Let them eat cake!” — Marie Antoinette (who was later beheaded by her angry constituents over plundering of the nation’s wealth.

Do we have a pattern here?

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