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True tales from Tennessee

My home state continually finds new ways to make me proud. But it’s not often I’m reading one heart-warming tale from the land of my birth when somebody emails me a link to another.

The first is a Memphis lady who disappeared from her hotel room, only to turn up under the box springs six weeks later. My, what a fragrant accomodation that must be, if nobody noticed for a month and a half. Via HotAir.

The second concerns a young Gallatin men who robbed a bank dressed as a leprechaun. The ending isn’t happy: he and his getaway driver were shot down a short time later. Two promising young Tennessee boys cut down in their prime. Via Uncle B.

Okay, remember y’all — Dead Pool tomorrow. Six sharp. At the moment, that’s six hours ahead of the right coast, nine hours ahead of the left coast. Be there, or no dick for you!


Comment from jw
Time: March 18, 2010, 11:47 pm

Well, hell! I had my dead pool all picked and the man went and kicked the bucket today.

Fess Parker. Couldn’t he have waited a day? THAT would have been the shortest Dead Pool evah!

RIP Mr. Parker. You did good, Sir!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 18, 2010, 11:54 pm

Good lord! Fess Parker? Say it is not so!

I, for one, do not wish to live in a world without Fess Parker.

Was he Dan’l Boone or Davy Crockett?

Comment from jw
Time: March 18, 2010, 11:57 pm

T’is so, Madam Weasel. AND he was BOTH! He had quite the runaround from the whirling driveshes known as hollywood back in the day.

He did quite well for himself when he got fed up with their bullshit, though. So good for him!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 19, 2010, 12:02 am

Well, I’ll be. Fess Parker was his real name. Sounds like a character, too.

The Dead Pool thread is all queued up to auto-post, btw, so even I can’t screw it up tomorrow.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 19, 2010, 12:21 am

Speaking of Tennessee, I’ve just written my Congressman. Bart Gordon — one of the retiring Dems who’s voting yes on the healthcare Sack o’ Shit. I made a special trip to Smithville to register, and I’m by-god going to get my tiny, pointless gesture out of it.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: March 19, 2010, 2:47 am

When you’ve ticked all the boxes and been in Blighty long enough and haven’t been a bad Weasel, do they sort of give you citizenship by default? And does that invalidate your right to vote in US elections? It would be nice to be able to vote against Obama and Gordon Brown.

Which reminds me: enquire re proxy votes at Embassy. Even with the lacklustre Stuntman Dave at the helm, the Tory candidate is a shoo-in in the IOW (fun fact: most populous constituency in the UK and a fine example of Labour gerrymandering – if we were an Island in the Hebrides rather than the Channel we’d probably have three MPs) but I want these bastards out.

Comment from XBradTC
Time: March 19, 2010, 5:50 am

I can haz Jimmy Carter?

Comment from AndyOH
Time: March 19, 2010, 5:55 am

Fess Parker ?!? Say it aint so !!

My favorite Daniel Boone quote:

Interviewer: So, DB … tell us all, you’re such an extraordinary explorer, have you ever been lost ?

DB: well no, actually I have never been lost. I was bewildered once for 3 days, but I’ve never been lost.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 19, 2010, 11:51 am

You can, XBrad, if you come back in six hours and are very quick. Ol’ Jimmah is a popular pick.

I’ll be eligible to apply for a British passport in about a year and a half, David. And no, it has no effect on my American citizenship (or I wouldn’t do it). I’ve got one more visa to go before then. And I have to get two persons of “professional standing” to sponsor me. And take an oath and shit.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: March 19, 2010, 1:10 pm

*stands at the window, pressed up against it looking it*

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: March 19, 2010, 1:38 pm

Two and a half hours and my work computer won’t let me come to Stoaty’s any more, so I’ll have to try to get a signal in my iPhone.

Oh, and I need to remember. Them durn students are really distracting, though…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 19, 2010, 1:42 pm

I’m blocked at your work computer, Nina? Do you know why?

I got blocked from my work for a while, you may recall. I appealed and got the block removed — I’ve forgotten what listing service it was.

Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: March 19, 2010, 2:13 pm

And I have to get two persons of “professional standing” to sponsor me.

I could commend you to some professionals of my acquaintance, but they don’t work standing up…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: March 19, 2010, 2:21 pm


It really is a quaint, old-fashioned notion. They’re looking for certain professions. Apparently, doctors got so sick of sponsoring people, most of them refuse now. I suppose I’ll tap the vicar. Don’t know what I’ll do for the other.

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: March 19, 2010, 3:59 pm

I can think of 216 people I wish would die in a fire before Sunday. My Rep. is still listed by most vote counters as “undecided,” but I’ve been to his site. He’s already posted litany of excuses for selling my birthright for this stinking mess of pottage.

In. A. Fire.

Comment from Pablo
Time: March 19, 2010, 4:04 pm

“In. A. Fire.”

We could just tell ’em they’re visiting Murtha.

Comment from Allen
Time: March 19, 2010, 4:22 pm

Well, I’m confused, which is natural. Do we do the dead pool according to Weasel Site Time, which appears to be on Atlantic time+2, or actual Weasel Time?

I actually have found someone to pick this time where I won’t feel bad at all if I win.

Nevermind, Jeebus I’m a slow sumbitch. I found the correct time.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: March 19, 2010, 5:02 pm

Is there going to be a special thread?

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: March 19, 2010, 5:04 pm

I”m still confused, I thought it was 1 eastern time…

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: March 19, 2010, 5:07 pm

I’m glad Allen’s worked it out – I’m lost. But I don’t care. I’m just happy for a nice distraction. The opportunity to wish death on someone always cheers a body up!

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: March 19, 2010, 5:07 pm

Let me work this out…

6 PM British time, which is GMT. CST is GMT – 6 = 12 noon. CDT is CST + 1 = 1 PM.

OK… that gives me an hour to think of a good pick.

Comment from Mazzuchelli
Time: March 19, 2010, 5:15 pm

I’m reading this blog, ain’t I?!

Jimmah Carter.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: March 19, 2010, 5:55 pm

OooOo, Mrs. Hill, I like your attitude!

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: March 19, 2010, 5:57 pm

Stoaty, your relatives are ransacking Germany. Well, a portion of Germany anyway.

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: March 20, 2010, 4:34 am

Gotta go with Barbara Billingsly. The beaver the Beav came out is 94.

Comment from bad cat robot
Time: March 21, 2010, 3:33 am

That’s right, BillT, the professionals you know don’t work standing up because mostly they slouch. Or sit. Or lounge. Or hang from chandeliers.

Don’t you have a comic to draw?

(Sorry to play through on your blog, Weas, but Bill is a slippery customer and thinks he can hide from nagging here. As if.)

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