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Stoaty loves ya, crusty old goobers…

I don’t know how Alexa comes up with this shit, but that’s what they say. Me, I’m thrilled. If you had any idea how hard I’ve word to attract the aging serial killer demographic…!

Yes, yes…that’s your lot today. Easter is a four-day public holiday here, centered around food. Like huge Cadbury eggs.

I’m not sure an industrial quantity of booze is part of the traditional celebrations, but it’s working just fine.


Comment from Elphaba
Time: April 5, 2010, 11:58 pm

Y’all are still allowed to call your holiday “Easter” over there? Amazing! Over here, more and more, it is becoming “Spring Holiday.”

Comment from Uncle Kenny
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:02 am

They don’t have a category for gun ownership, either. I didn’t realize I was hanging around with under-educated non-breeders … picture 60-year-olds living in mom’s basement. Fuck me running.

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:02 am

hahahaha. Didn’t you post a while back about your affection for true crime stories? Perhaps this is the fruit of that forbidden love.

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:04 am

also, two random royal-related questions for the Brits:

(1) Is the apparent royal objection to Kate Middleton more an objection to her family? I get the impression that some of her connections are not exactly upper-crust.

(2) I could swear I read somewhere that there was a rumor that the Queen was considering skipping Charles and naming William her successor. Is that the product of my fevered brain?

Sorry, we don’t do royalty in America, so I have to make do with the British kind. 😉

Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:05 am

I fit the age category, but I have a college education and a son.

Comment from Vmaximus
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:12 am

I will have you know I am a 49 year old 2 college degree serial killer.

Wait, I have ex-step chillin do they count?

Comment from jwm
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:13 am

Two out of three isn’t bad. My wife doesn’t have kids either. And yes I goed to college, and gotted my degree in Englich.
Hadd gooder grades to.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:15 am

As to #1, Mrs P, I have no idea. I read the headlines on the Daily Mail, but I don’t really follow the royals stories. As for #2 — yes, I heard that rumor, too. But it was a LONG time ago, and I suspect it’s no longer operative. Seems that recently, Charles has been acting a bit more head-of-stately (the recent surprise visit to Afghanistan, f’rexample).

Speaking of Afghanistan, we watched The Man Who Would Be King last night. What a great film!

Comment from Allen
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:20 am

“The Man Who Would Be King”

One of my favorite films. Even back in those times the Afghans had a thing about separating heads from their owners.

Another favorite of mine “Breaker Morant” shoot straight you bastards.

Comment from USCitizen
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:24 am

Glad to help with the demograpics, but I’m only 53 – with three children and no serial murders at all!

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:31 am

Hmm, I fit the age demographic, but I’m a lady and do lady things, plus I have two college degrees, and 2 children. Sooooo, I really would be interested in how they claim that codswallop!

I just lurve the royals, use to know every single bit about them until Princess Diana died. Now it’s all boring dysfunction stuff, to much like my family.

Comment from Mrs. Peel
Time: April 6, 2010, 12:55 am

Well, I’m 27, which should drag the average age here down a bit.

I’m familiar with the short story by Kipling*. Didn’t know there was a movie. (On a similar note, I also didn’t know until yesterday that there was a movie of Rozencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead.) I see it has Michael Caine, so I’ll have to check it out.

I don’t like Charles because of the greenie stuff. A bit unfair on my part, perhaps, but there it is.

*While checking to be sure I was right about Kipling being the author, I found a link to a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen.

Comment from Spad13
Time: April 6, 2010, 1:19 am

I have some college dammit! And anyone who may have been injured just needed killin’.

oh shit I may have said too much.

Comment from The Dread Pirate Neck Beard
Time: April 6, 2010, 2:44 am

Dang. Well, sorry. Weas. I guess I’ll check back in in another 20 years or so. Good luck with the Alexa thing, know any fairly easy to murder demographic groups I can target till then?

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: April 6, 2010, 3:09 am

I completely strike out on the profile up there…not male, got children, and have more college than any sane person would want to have. Not in that age range, either.


I’m sorry if I’m a disappointment to you, Stoaty…

Comment from James
Time: April 6, 2010, 3:25 am

A few months short, 5 kids and PiledHigh&Deep. Though last time I checked I was male… What sort of WAG algorithm does Alexa use? Childless + late middle aged sounds like an oddly thin sliver of the net population.

Comment from Muslihoon
Time: April 6, 2010, 3:40 am

I remember Bailey. He gave a special presentation on “Exotic is Erotic” in our Intro to Psych class as an explanation of the development of sexual attractions (and partially why some people develop same-gender attraction). Very different from the PC line often trotted by institutions of higher education (it’s all genetic!).

I admired Her Majesty The Queen. But Charles really brought down my esteem for the Royal House. Then I realized that Royal Houses aren’t based on any system of meritocracy – it doesn’t matter whether Charles is an admirable person or not: by virtue of birth he will become king.

Sort of like King Bhumibol Adulyadej Rama IX the Great (yes, the man is still alive and yet has been deemed “the Great”), who is still quite popular in Thailand despite siding with the military against the democratic government, and Crown Prince Vajiralongkorn, whom people don’t support as much. While political opponents often accuse the other of lese majeste (still a crime in Thailand), many don’t commit lese majeste out of true admiration for King Rama IX. I have a feeling the Thai Royal Family and its administrators will have to invoke lese majeste quite often when Crown Prince Vajiralonkong becomes King Rama X.

And for the record, I’m 30, with a graduate degree. I don’t have kids (but I do have to care for the spiritual and temporal welfare of some 60 single people between 18 and 30 – do they count as kids?).

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: April 6, 2010, 3:52 am

You’re very popular in Germany…is that where the demographics originate?

Huh. Well, I’m male, almost old enough, and I have hunted a serial killer (unsuccessfully).

Maybe next time.

Comment from Mr. Matamoros
Time: April 6, 2010, 5:58 am

Hmmmm…male, check…no children, check…52, not quite there…edumacated at a small technical school back East…nope, don’t quite fit the profile, I’m afraid to say…I do own some guns if that helps…

Comment from Schlippy
Time: April 6, 2010, 6:03 am

Aye I’m in Musli’s category at 31, no children, some college. I wonder how they got those statistics. Similar to how I wonder how they determine TV and radio ratings.. how the hell do they know who’s watching what and when?

Comment from David Gillies
Time: April 6, 2010, 6:18 am

Muslihoon is right. It’s not in the Queen’s gift to say who succeeds her. She dies, Charlie is King. He can, at that point, abdicate in favour of William, but he will be, and, more importantly, will have been Charles III, regardless, unless he predeceases his mother.

As for me: forty, no kids I know of or acknowledge, which is a shame, and grotesquely over-educated.

Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: April 6, 2010, 10:42 am

Top end of the bell curve for age, educated beyond my intelligence, no kids (unless dogs the size of teenagers count) and I never killed anybody who didn’t try to kill me first.

Okay, okay, so I was *very* unpopular back in ’69 and ’70, but it wasn’t like I sent mocking, cryptic notes to the local People’s Commissar ‘n’ stuff…

Comment from Carl
Time: April 6, 2010, 10:46 am

Score 1 out of 3. Outside the age range, no kids, several degrees.

Judging by the remarks of your commentators over a long period of time, I suspect that Alexa is way out in their assessment of the demographics of your readership. Apparently, they use data volunteered by people who have the Alexa toolbar on their PC. They are probably few in number and not very representative.

Have you been to Kipling’s house out at Burwash? Well worth it.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 6, 2010, 11:16 am

Kipling’s house! No, we’ve been meaning to do that, Carl. And we’ve been scrubbing our brains for places to go, now that the days are getting longer. Thank you for the reminder.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: April 6, 2010, 2:41 pm

You can come visit me in Kent!

Comment from loiseller
Time: April 6, 2010, 3:52 pm

This aging serial keeps coming back ’cause you’re a girl and you wanna rassle.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: April 6, 2010, 4:35 pm

is visited more frequently by males. . .

Isn’t the question, “more frequently than by whom?” It isn’t saying that that is your exclusive audience–it isn’t even saying that that is the profile of your commenters–it could be “more frequently by [stated demographic] than by left-handed lemurs.

Oh–sorry–is it just that Alexa’s writing lacks precision, and she actually meant “most frequently?” And if so–does each visit count as a separate statistic? And. . .and. . .and. . .

Sigh. People are so sloppy in how they talk about statistics!

Comment from Carl
Time: April 6, 2010, 4:47 pm

A great walk that I have done several times, not far from you, is along the cliff top from Beachy Head (mind the suicides!) to Birling Gap and back. It’s fantastic at any time of the year in any weather.

Comment from JWWright
Time: April 6, 2010, 6:18 pm

Male, 45, a father and educated, live in the states… Alexa is crap.

Comment from Greg
Time: April 6, 2010, 6:20 pm

Well, I’m a male, but significantly below 55, have a Masters degree and two children (yes, I’m married, too). And I think you’re hilarious. If that makes me a dunce, then I’d like to speak to the person defining terms. I’ll have them in tears in 5 minutes.

Comment from JuliaM
Time: April 6, 2010, 6:32 pm

‘An industrial quantity of booze’ is the mainstay of pretty nearly EVERY British holiday…

Comment from Mamba1-0
Time: April 6, 2010, 7:16 pm

Yeah. And we have a tendency to drool uncontrolably at awkward moments, too.

Comment from Sockless Joe
Time: April 6, 2010, 7:26 pm

I’m guessing the Celeb Dead Pool throws the numbers off. Your regular readership is somewhat different.

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: April 6, 2010, 8:05 pm

Sockless Joe sez:

Your regular readership is somewhat different.

Yeah, we’re worse.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: April 6, 2010, 8:42 pm

I actually had worked with the guy who started Alexa back in the neolithic days of the intertubes. He was a schlep of a sales-goob for Fibermux (and a dirtbag salesman, at that)that partnered up with some software alpha geeks.

Bagazillionaire now. Right place/right time, etc. Bastiges.

Yeah, their stats are a bit off. Younger, procreative, and with some college(going to JC to meet girls counts as college, right?).

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: April 6, 2010, 9:00 pm

I miss the mark widely as well, although I will cop to being Male. I am too young, have too many kids and too much education. I call BS.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 6, 2010, 9:32 pm

Hey, JWWright — you’ve got some nice work there. (Everybody click his link and look at the nice man’s t-shirts). What do you think of Printfection?

Comment from Mike C.
Time: April 6, 2010, 11:10 pm

Well, I’m male and in the age bracket, at least. Sorry about the college and kids stuff.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: April 7, 2010, 12:43 am

Hey JW, Stoaty’s right…cool stuff. How about a “Ferenghi School of Business” T-Shirt for the sci-fi section?

Comment from Snafu
Time: April 7, 2010, 1:25 am

I’m only 50, Got a college degree must be ahead of my time.
If I’m the only one that knows I’m a serial killer does that count? Oh yea almost forgot I have a daughter. This is very confusing.

Comment from kansas
Time: April 7, 2010, 5:41 pm

Well I’m over 60 with advanced degrees, but I do watch Criminal Minds.

Comment from Mamba1-0
Time: April 7, 2010, 8:01 pm

But, despite all of that, we’re well-armed.

Comment from Formally known as prints
Time: April 9, 2010, 1:25 am

It’s obvious: “…males who are in the age range 55-64, have no children and have no college education…” is the left’s definition of ‘Conservative’.

So no wonder. All correct except for PhD, kids, age (well, not much sex either).

Comment from Steve In Tulsa
Time: April 9, 2010, 6:00 pm

How does it know? I am 54 and single with no children

Comment from benning
Time: April 15, 2010, 4:25 pm

Okay, I have no young’uns, but I do have some college education – didn’t finish, ’cause it took too much time away from planning my next series of murd … uh … drinking bouts. Also I’m only 54. 🙂

Guess that makes me unusual, huh?


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