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I don’t see what’s so…oh.

I stared at this one the longest time without spotting anything awkward about it. Maybe it’s a little easier in color.

Yeah. I’m reduced to browsing AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com. The kind of thing I amuse myself with while I’m waiting around for somebody famous to do something dumb and easily Photoshoppable.

Though I’m really more of an Ugliest Tattoos kind of gal. I simply cannot BELIEVE some of the ugly shit people have permanently etched onto their bodies. With apologies to any of my readers who sport ink, even the well-drawn ones won’t look good forever.

Some day, old folks’ homes all across the land will be full of wrinkly, billowing barbed wire and saggy, blurry kanji.


Comment from Elphaba
Time: April 6, 2010, 11:44 pm

Wow, that is appalling and strangely compelling at the same time….it’s cakewrecks.com for the fugly tattoo universe. Seriously, a necklace of severed…um. Betcha she rarely gets a second date.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: April 6, 2010, 11:49 pm

Now, you just ain’t hitt’n the right fetish tattoo sites, Stoatie… Kat Von D is VERY photoshopable…. 😉

Comment from MCPO Airdale
Time: April 7, 2010, 12:20 am

My bluebird tattoo from 35 years ago now looks like a vampyre bat.

Comment from Mrs. Compton
Time: April 7, 2010, 12:25 am

I was so expecting to see my son on that site.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: April 7, 2010, 12:30 am

Tat removal will be a growth business in the next 20 years, that’s for sure.

There’s a Jesse James joke in there somewhere, but I’m too brain dead to find it. Seriously, Jesse…you gave up Sandra freakin Bullock to tap THAT shit? You may have made Tiger happy to be out of the limelight, but you’ve lost your mind dude.

Comment from Oldcat
Time: April 7, 2010, 12:39 am

Ah, the good old days. If you were watching TV at our house lying down on the couch, and didn’t get up when one of the other kids came in, this always happened.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 7, 2010, 12:44 am

The really nice, clean-cut, well-put-together young man who bought my house in Rhode Island had some of the crappiest tats I’ve ever seen in my LIFE. I mean, they were competently done but he had…Tweety and Yosemite Sam and…three or four others. Just randomly stuck on his torso.

His dad just rolled his eyes when I goaded the kid into showing me again.

Comment from jwm
Time: April 7, 2010, 12:44 am

A tattoo- even a cute little flower on a discreet part of the body, reduces a woman’s beauty by a minimum of seven points on a ten point scale. It has a similar effect on man although it seems to reduce the IQ by sixty points on a hundred point scale first. People who get themselves tatted up generally go so far into negative numbers that their presence sucks beauty out of the world. Their ugliness is like visual B.O. The folks in those linked pictures have gone so far as to make everything around them depressing. They make one long for the sight of road kill animals, and dog poop to relieve the visual blight they create.


Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 7, 2010, 12:47 am

I have, however, considered having my Social Security number tattoo’d someplace discreet (like the bottom of my foot). Just in case I run across the Mad Axeman some moonless night.

Comment from The Mad Axeman
Time: April 7, 2010, 12:58 am

It’s a myth. I’m not scared of Social Security numbers.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: April 7, 2010, 1:05 am

I’m one of those idiots with ink. Two tats, one (a stupid pic of Snoopy in his red-baron-fighting togs and crop), I got on liberty from boot camp. The other, the only one I still like, is one I got at Pinky’s in Hong Kong. A lipstick imprint, very realistic, on my ass. After all these years, it still sums up my attitude.

Comment from mongo
Time: April 7, 2010, 1:16 am

Being all cerebral and stuff (I did some sudoku earlier) I thought the problem with the picture is that one of the kids was blonde whilst the others were redheads. I assumed the mailman was a blonde. Didn’t see the mailman underneath everyone. Double whammy there. Those tats are, uh, sweet. Gave me some great ideas for my next one, ‘specially “Manbearpig”.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: April 7, 2010, 1:17 am

JW – i LIKE that one. I might even consider getting one myself….. 🙂

Comment from Allen
Time: April 7, 2010, 1:41 am

Woo doggies! Am I the only one who thought these look like some of the cast from Deliverance?

I got one when I was in the Army. It was ugly then, and it hasn’t improved with age.

Comment from Fa Cube Itches
Time: April 7, 2010, 3:28 am

Who could forget the cat butt tattoo:


Comment from Fa Cube Itches
Time: April 7, 2010, 3:30 am

Another classic:


The monkey butt.

Gonna take a wild guess and say alcohol was involved….

Comment from Schlippy
Time: April 7, 2010, 8:12 am

I’m a big chicken about needles so shall never be tatted nor pierced I think, though I was tempted a few times in the Army, more from peer pressure than anything else. Besides I’ve no idea what I would feel about it later and it’s too permanent. To each their own.

Comment from jwpaine
Time: April 7, 2010, 3:07 pm

Thnx, Scoob. Back in the day, that got me a few giggles as I walked away from the bed to take a leak. I get ’em comin’ and goin’! Get it? Get it?

Jeez, I gotta ‘splain everything?

Comment from David Gillies
Time: April 7, 2010, 10:30 pm

I was considering getting the word DIABETIC and my blood group tattooed on the inside of my forearm. If you go badly hypo it can mimic drunkenness. Problem is, as a diabetic, tattoos are more dangerous for me than most people.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: April 7, 2010, 10:55 pm

Did anyone have Christopher Cazenove in the Dead Pool? That’s the second Dynasty actor to go in a matter of days.

Comment from gebrauchshund
Time: April 8, 2010, 12:05 am

The two kids with the flowers look like the mutants from “The Hills Have Eyes”. What’s scary is that they may really look like that.

Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: April 8, 2010, 12:00 pm

Okay, that was uncomfortable…

Comment from Andrea Harris
Time: April 9, 2010, 12:27 am

Some of you don’t like tattoos! I thought I was the only person left on Earth who held out against the Inked Ones. Every time I’d see another normal-looking woman who had one of those tramp stamps or her shoulder and upper arm disfigured with some sort of artwork I’d hear “you will be assimilated” in my head.

Comment from TwoDogs
Time: April 9, 2010, 9:20 pm

Stoaty, if you’d ever been to the podiatrist and got a shot of local in the sole of your foot you’d completely rethink your SS# tat location. I’ve been stuck a number of places for medical/dental reasons, and that was the worst by far.

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