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Nothin’ but decaf

I won a poster contest when I was in High School. The theme was something like Keep Nashville Clean. When I was packing to move last year, I found the newspaper clipping that went with and was horrified to read what I had said to the interviewer. Man, I hit all the bullshit talking points: Children are the future. Adults are poisoning up the planet and we’re going to have to clean it up.

I didn’t say those things because I believed them or cared much. I said them because I knew what was expected of me. (Fuck yea, I’d just won an art contest — I wasn’t about to blow it by saying something the newspaper didn’t want to hear). We’re talking maybe 1975 and that shit was old already.

So let’s hope these mouth-breathing fluff-muffins are also unenthusiastically regurgitating today’s lesson. Click to watch, but my subtitles are pretty accurate. I counted 14 “likes” when the young ‘uns were talking, not counting those times when “like” was used correctly and not as an “ummm” substitute.

This is the latest from the Coffee Party — the liberal astroturfers trying desperately to challenge the Tea Party movement without anyone discovering they’re liberal. They do this by pretending to be passionate about bland non-issues.

Sifting through feedback from regional Coffee Party meetings, they’ve identified two issues their members are exercised about and want to tackle: the role of money in politics and making Wall Street accountable to Main Street.

Ha ha! Psych! If those are THE two issues that came boiling up from an engaged grassroots, I’m a polar bear.

The Dems have been trying to stir up anger over “Wall Street fat cats” from the get-go — they clearly think that’s a class warfare winner for them. And maybe it is, I dunno. It doesn’t seem to have caught fire as expected.

And the “money in politics” one comes from the unexpectedly wide unpopularity of the Supreme Court’s decision in the Citizens United case — the one that grants First Amendment rights to corporations, including the right to unlimited spending before elections. They mention Citizens United by name at the end of the video.


Oh, and listening to that young man babble about being the future, I couldn’t help thinking, “yeah, but by the time we get to that future, Sonny, you’re going to be more like me now than you are like you now.”


Comment from Scubafreak
Time: April 13, 2010, 10:30 pm

Personally, i AGREE with the citizens United verdict. All it does is grant the same rights to corporations as were granted to the unions, and the only people who would object on factual grounds are the unions and their supporters…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 13, 2010, 10:54 pm

Oh, sure, Scoob. I agreed with the decision, too, and was surprised that it polled as badly as it did. I have to wonder if the people responding didn’t know all that much about it (like the union issue).

By the way, I’m guessing the corporation I worked for and I agreed more on the issues that most union members agree with their unions.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: April 13, 2010, 11:11 pm

My break with post-adolescent libralism consisted of two parts…both occured in 1992.

1. Rodney King Riots: Korean shopkeepers being looted. Wait..aren’t THEY minorities too? WTF? I thought all this righteous indignation was directed towards The Man

2. Receiving a list in the mail, from the Union that I was forced to be a member of, of whom I was EXPECTED to vote for. If I didn’t, then I was oppressing the working class (of whom, several generations of my family have been members of). I’m being oppressed…no wait…I’m the oppressor…error…error….

Suddenly, everthing my Dad had said to my previously deaf ears made striking sense.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: April 14, 2010, 12:37 am

Young people are idiots. Plain and simple. More-so undergraduates. Took me my 40th birthday to figure that one out.

I’m marching on Thursday!
My third such in my fair city.
Even bought 9 extra ‘tread’ flags to pass out. (the smallish ones)

It’s like, dude, I’m so cool.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: April 14, 2010, 12:49 am

EZ, my recommendation is to bring some signs with arrows that say “LIBERAL PLANT!”, and start looking for the infiltrators. If the cameras are anywhere near them, put up the sign with the arrow pointing at them where the camera can’t avoid seeing you.


Comment from meep
Time: April 14, 2010, 1:41 am

That was painful to watch. I think you owe me about ten IQ points back for making me click on that link.

I hate my generation.

Comment from Elphaba
Time: April 14, 2010, 3:05 am

Ugh. That was, like, so VAPID.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: April 14, 2010, 3:20 am

I refuse to watch…my ears bleed on a daily basis hearing some of the cr@p that goes on in a suburban public high school, let me tell ya.

Comment from Lipstick
Time: April 14, 2010, 4:19 am

Oh good Lord. I’m only up to 47 seconds in the vid.

-“Are you afraid of death threats?”
-“I mean, look at Martin Luther King, I mean, he got a lot of death threats and he still kept going on. . .”

Erm, no, he kinda didn’t.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: April 14, 2010, 5:07 am

The good news: This generation of potential hippie recruits has the work ethic of a 15 year old labrador. If it’s not served to them on a plate, they’re too lazy to go chase after it. They talk a lot of shit…but have you seen the pathetic “protests” these days?? When it comes down to it, I think they will fold up like a $5 lawn chair, politically, when push comes to shove.

I think the 60’s hippies only made an impact because their parent’s work ethic accidentally rubbed off on them and got them off their asses. Who knows…maybe if they had You Tube back then…all we’d have of the 60’s would be stoners bitching about The Man over bong hits.

Comment from iamfelix
Time: April 14, 2010, 5:46 am

Oh, and listening to that young man babble about being the future, I couldn’t help thinking, “yeah, but by the time we get to that future, Sonny, you’re going to be more like me now than you are like you now.”

Well, if he manages that, at least he’ll have accomplished something worthwhile.

And get off my lawn!

Comment from JC
Time: April 14, 2010, 5:57 am

CoffeePartyUSA – I’ve seen those initials somewhere before…CPUSA? It’ll come back to me, I know.

Comment from Pavel
Time: April 14, 2010, 1:24 pm

I was part of a group who wore black arm bands to our junior high school after Kent State. We then decided to “strike” by cutting classes and getting completely baked.

I was also part of a group who decided to Save the Planet by cutting classes for the very first Earth Day. We cleaned nothing up, but did take the opportunity to get completely baked.

I think these chicks were, like, totally part of that gang.

Comment from EW1(SG)
Time: April 14, 2010, 2:52 pm

JC, you don’t suppose CPUSA could be … nah, nobody could be that stupid, could they?

Comment from JuliaM
Time: April 14, 2010, 3:43 pm

Oh, it’s not like the US has the only complement of educationally-challenged teenagers. Check out any similar vox-pop type vid on YouTube and count the ‘innits’ at the end of each sentence. ‘Like’ hasn’t caught on so much, but you’ll hear an awful lot of ‘yeahs’…

And as for their grasp of political history, I doubt they’d be able to name anyone other than ‘Fatcher, innit?’

Comment from Schlippy
Time: April 14, 2010, 7:35 pm

Not going to watch. I’m fully aware of the vapid stupidity of the last few generations.

We are boned if parents don’t start teaching their kids conservative values again.

Comment from Dawn
Time: April 14, 2010, 9:31 pm

This is totally why my kids are like enrolled in private school. That was embarrassing.
And who is the foreign chic complaining about foreigners being a part of U.S. politics? English was definitely her second language. Argghhh.

The stupidest thing I did as a youngster was vote for Ross Perot because I thought a flat tax was a good idea. Why I considered it a good idea at the time I can’t tell you.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 14, 2010, 10:26 pm

I dunno. A flat tax could be a good idea, depending on the details.

Comment from Schlippy
Time: April 14, 2010, 10:37 pm

Ha! I voted Perot too. He was the first candidate ever to take a set of charts and explain exactly what he was going to do. I still think he would have made a decent president (pardon me if I’m missing some news on something he did that made him awful) he was going to run government like a business, which I thought was swell, though after all of it it seems like he was just in it to let the Dims win.

Comment from Dawn
Time: April 14, 2010, 10:50 pm

I still probably couldn’t explain the flat tax to you. It’s not a bad idea, but why I thought it was an important campaign issue, I don’t know. I was 18 and into carrying signs and stuff. Ross Perot just dazzled me. He was such a rock star. I was raised better than to vote for Clinton.

Comment from Bill (still the .00358% of your traffic that’s from Iraq) T
Time: April 15, 2010, 12:23 pm

…”Sonny, you’re going to be more like me now than you are like you now.”

You think he’s going to marry an Englishman and want chickens?

Comment from Greg
Time: April 15, 2010, 6:47 pm

This video is proof-positive why the Fascist-Socialists always use the brainwashing of young people to destroy the United States, its Judeo-Christian heritage, its free market capitalism, and its Constitution: THEY (the young people) DON’T THINK.

What a sad commentary on America and how, now that Americans largely stand for nothing, Americans will fall for anything.

Let’s hope the Tea Partiers actually amount to something. They just may be our last hope outside of supernatural intervention.

Pingback from FIAF drive-bys « Is This Blog On?
Time: April 16, 2010, 12:29 pm

[…] the Coffee Party brews on …. there’s something called Campus Coffee Weak Week. These kids are, like, so … […]

Comment from Anonymous
Time: April 26, 2010, 12:11 am

“…allow corporations [otherwise known as business *people*] a certain level of free speech…”

Get a clue. It’s either free or it’s not.

You can’t ‘allow a certain level’ and still pretend it’s free.

His professors actually allow that kind of thinking?

As for the Asian girl, apparently nothing in politics happened before she started gaining awareness, because she apparently doesn’t know about the Chinagate fundraising scandals, where among other things, Chinese Buddhist monks sworn to poverty handed tens of thousands of dollars donations to Al Gore (personally) for the Clinton campaign. Or the numerous other examples of Chinese money going to Clinton. What was his name, Charlie Tree?

Comment from lbyron
Time: April 26, 2010, 12:40 am

On Ross Perot running government as a business. I’ve been looking for a copy of the Dana Carvey impersonation of Ross saying, “If I’m elected, you don’t have to pay me… But if I can make the economy grow by more than 5%, than I just want one percent of that increase as commission.” 12 trillion at the time, 1% of 5% of that would be oh, what? $6B? I think it would be a good deal.

Let’s pay all our politicians on commission…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: April 26, 2010, 12:59 am

Heh. I like it. Presidential performance bonuses.

Of course, you’d have to have some controls. Otherwise you’d have some goober selling off all the national forests to developers to jump start short-term profits.

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