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Welcome to the internet! First visit?

Someone wrote and asked me for a unicorn-shitting-skittles graphic (yeah, pretty sure opportunities like that are why my folks sent me to art school). I didn’t have time to build one from scratch but, as it happens, I have a unicorn-farting-rainbows graphic in the works for a t-shirt, so I just threw in some Skittles. (If you yearn to know how that looks in color, yearn no more).

First, though, I had to do a Google Images search for Skittles, since I wasn’t entirely sure what the hell they look like, other than real small specks of color raining down on the upturned faces of stoned children on TV (are there really no blue Skittles? What, were they afraid people would use them to mend spinal cord injuries?).

Anyhow, that image search is how I found this heartwarming story of life with the new media: about a year ago, Skittles decided it wanted itself a piece of that viral marketing, social networking thing all the cool kids were talking about. So they launched a web page that would essentially be a live Twitter feed. Every time somebody mentioned #skittles, the page updated.

Yes. They really did that.

With a straight face.

Never heard the scary there’s an escaped lunatic undead shark in the basement AND IT’S COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE music playing in the background.

Soooo…how long do you think it was before somebody tweeted “On the skittles thing? Bollocks arse fuck soapy titwank cunt wankstain piss frenulum shit twat motherfucker toss Rick Astley…”

And from the sound of that inspirational outpouring of cusswords, it was tweeted by a Brit. I’m so proud.


Comment from JAM2
Time: June 2, 2010, 11:21 pm

that is the perfect steed for al gore to ride into the battle for climate change / global fleecing / divorce court… whatever

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: June 2, 2010, 11:22 pm

Aw, Stoatie, u’r a weasel after me own heart. I’ll have to check Red Eye tonight to see if Greg Gutfeld kypes your artwork for the show…….. 🙂

Comment from Monotone ( The Elderish)
Time: June 2, 2010, 11:33 pm

hmm…. wonder if thats what shits out his books…..

Comment from Allen
Time: June 2, 2010, 11:43 pm

Unicorns farting rainbows creates Skittles and thrust. Who knew?

You know every so often I just have to sit slackjawed when I think about where we are. Probably millions of people voted for a guy they associated with a mythical beast, or could just throw them cash at random times from his stash.

Jeebus. Really, if were going out I want it to be with heavy duty explosions and such. Not to the jibbering crys of mentally disturbed children who need their mommy.

Comment from The Dread Pirate Neck Beard
Time: June 3, 2010, 12:35 am

Unicorns also cause the seas to recede, the world to heal, and algore to put his boner into penguins.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: June 3, 2010, 1:23 am

Mmmmmmm. Penguinssss.

Comment from EZnSF
Time: June 3, 2010, 1:26 am

It’s Obama’s apocalypse horse. An it’s outta the barn.

Comment from JAM2
Time: June 3, 2010, 1:43 am

so EZ..

is he ridin’ it with a club in one hand and his pecker in another?


is he throttling the unicorn while running roughshod over the U.S.?

let me be clear…



think unicorns and


clubs are…

necessary for…

redistributive changed to…

catch up with the awesome changes with which We are.


Comment from Monotone ( The Elderish)
Time: June 3, 2010, 1:44 am

It’s too bad the russians ate them all….

Comment from The Dread Pirate Neck Beard
Time: June 3, 2010, 1:53 am

he’s strangling the unicorn? is that a euphemism?

Comment from Pavel
Time: June 3, 2010, 1:58 am

Dread Pirate:

>he’s strangling the unicorn? is that a euphemism?

It is now. Sort of like Hiking the Appalachian Trail.

Comment from Pavel
Time: June 3, 2010, 4:12 am

And btw: What the heck is up with Brits and the c-word? That particular word makes my skin crawl; over there they use it in nearly polite speech, and the folks who hear it pat them on the fanny and send them on their way.

Comment from JuliaM
Time: June 3, 2010, 7:27 am

“And from the sound of that inspirational outpouring of cusswords, it was tweeted by a Brit. “

Well, of course.. 😉

Comment from David Gillies
Time: June 3, 2010, 8:02 am

‘Frenulum’ is the attention-to-detail anatomically-specific filth that has it pinned down as a Brit. The ‘soapy titwank’ entry means they read Viz magazine, specifically Rude Kid. It’s practically forensic. You could probably get a conviction in the High Court based on these two data.

For your delectation and edification, I give you: Roger’s Profanisaurus. Such a cavalcade of filth is unparalleled in the annals of human history. You’ll have to crack out a pre-emptive strike before reading this or you might end up suffering Bartlett’s Dilemma.

Comment from Pupster
Time: June 3, 2010, 12:45 pm

Oh, wow. Blue-skinned-mouse with a spinal-cord-injury picture first thing in the morning. That’s a pretty devastating start to my Thursday.

Comment from Enas Yorl
Time: June 3, 2010, 1:53 pm

I think I’d happily spend the rest of my life with bright blue skin if it saved me from being paralyzed. The Smurf references would get tiresome after awhile.

Great job as always Stoaty!

Comment from jwpaine
Time: June 3, 2010, 3:29 pm

Your steed awaits, Sir O!

Comment from tawny
Time: June 3, 2010, 4:53 pm

Off topic, but a heads up for tomorrow’s Death Pool. Rue McLanahan is dead, Betty White is now the only surviving Golden Girl.

Comment from steve
Time: June 3, 2010, 7:16 pm

Rue McLana…..


Comment from Monotone ( The Elderish)
Time: June 3, 2010, 7:19 pm

dont you mean “fuck!”?

Comment from Dawn
Time: June 3, 2010, 7:30 pm

No one can do happy things pooping happy things better than you. I always learn something here. Oh and I WANT a blue mouse. That is all.

Comment from Plantboy
Time: June 3, 2010, 8:09 pm

Skittles… “Taste the Rainbow!”?

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: June 3, 2010, 8:17 pm

“‘Frenulum’ is the attention-to-detail anatomically-specific filth that has it pinned down as a Brit. ”

I dunno, Dave. Ron White did a long bit on his wife’s frenulum flicking skills in the bedroom on his last standup dvd…..

Comment from Tesla
Time: June 3, 2010, 9:52 pm

Stoaty, saw you over at HA on the paul mcratney article. Is it maybe just possible to go from Hey Jude to Hey Crude for a deep sea leaky oil well song?

Comment from armybrat
Time: June 3, 2010, 11:42 pm

Um….scube, I’ve actually disected a cadaver and that whole “wife’s frenulum flicking skills” coupled with the term “standup dvd” had me blushing.

Comment from Randy Rager
Time: June 4, 2010, 1:45 am

Ok, I officially want that t-shirt with the line “Ok, I voted for Obama” above the picture and “Now where’s my unicorn?” below the picture.

Make with, I’ve got a little discretionary cash this paycheck.

Comment from steve
Time: June 4, 2010, 11:56 am

To Monotome (The Elderish)

Well….yes. I guess I do.

Comment from mostly cajun
Time: June 4, 2010, 1:44 pm

That is so much stolen!


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