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The three chickens of the apocalypse

They mowed the field behind the house today (making hay while the sun shines — Summer is officially over at Badger House). The chickens took great exception to this and decided to drive the intruder away.

I’ve never seen more than one of them at a time do the alarm call. I had THREE of them at it, and one stalking along for the ride. They stand up very straight, goosestep slowly toward the threat, and scream bk-bk-bk-be-GAAK-bk-bk at it. In this case, a giant harvester.

Three of them. I almost busted something laughing. Something important in the internal organ department.

The illustration — just noodling around with a program called Manga Studio. With a name like that, you can guess it’s intended for comic creation, but it’s actually a very good pen-and-ink simulator. I got an email today offering me the high end version at a very deep discount, but the offer doesn’t seem to be on their website. Maybe it’s for registered users only. Anyhow, if any of you arty types badly want a copy, shoot me an email and I’ll forward you the offer (maybe it’ll be honored, maybe it won’t. Worth a shot).

Good weekend, everyone!


Comment from Mark Matis
Time: August 19, 2011, 11:44 pm

Hopefully none of the chicklets attacked the intruder too aggressively. Mowers usually do not treat short animals too kindly. They usually end up significantly shorter…

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 19, 2011, 11:47 pm

Oh, it was way off in the distance, across the ditch. I often have difficulty working out why they’re alarm calling, but if I stand up and look around, there’s always…a sheep, a cat. Something. Even something familiar, they don’t like coming at them.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: August 20, 2011, 1:07 am

Video? Please tell me you have video?

Comment from Deborah
Time: August 20, 2011, 2:06 am

They certainly look indignant, but then I don’t know what they’d look like if they were happy. But maybe a fresh supply of bugs (fleeing the harvester) will make their way to your garden. 🙂

Comment from AC
Time: August 20, 2011, 2:28 am

A coupon code, yes please.
Chickens vs harvester, could be a full length feature movie.

Comment from Oceania
Time: August 20, 2011, 4:14 am


That might go something like this:
495 G t TG TG t G TG G
565 A T A T A T A T 750
845 1025 C C C C C FIG.

Comment from MIke C.
Time: August 20, 2011, 7:52 am

I’ll leave a cartoon for the weekend…


Hat tip – mom of girls at GCP.

Comment from Oceania
Time: August 20, 2011, 8:12 am

Ahhhhh educating the masses that cannot read, nor write, with Cartoons.

Comment from MIke C.
Time: August 20, 2011, 8:24 am

I hear they’re having a sale on senses of humor at Wal-Mart this weekend. You might want to go down and get yourself one.


Comment from MIke C.
Time: August 20, 2011, 9:02 am

BTW, is it just me, or do chickens have a distinct resemblance to Nancy Pelosi? That bug-eyed, can’t blink, vaguely-reptilian look that results from either less evolution or too much plastic surgery?

Comment from Oceania
Time: August 20, 2011, 9:04 am

Is that the American sense of humour, on sale at WalMart, that is now made in China?
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny or your Mickey Mouse.
But where did they go wrong in teaching your nation and peoples moral, or fiscal prudency? Oh, you placed you childrens education at the hands of TV stations?
Not even mother Hen does that.

Comment from MIke C.
Time: August 20, 2011, 9:11 am

Er, and what nationality are you? Please don’t tell me British – I can’t take Category 5 Irony storms at this time of day.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 20, 2011, 11:20 am

Trollovia, at a guess.

Comment from MIke C.
Time: August 20, 2011, 11:39 am


Comment from Mark Matis
Time: August 20, 2011, 11:56 am

Thank God for that TrollBlocker® software!

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 20, 2011, 12:01 pm

Hm. That drawing looks kind of crap. It’s a pity; up close, the program does a very good job of mimicking ink lines (pen or brush, varying line widths). Shrunk down, though, it just looks kind of messy.

Comment from Ric Locke
Time: August 20, 2011, 12:19 pm

Stoaty: Nah. Consider it the existential equivalent of a wheelstand.

That is — when people get something with more power than they’re used to, it’s fairly typical for them to go a bit overboard with it at first. To a close first approximation, line art is all about economy of line. The program makes it so easy to do lines that you’ve overdone it a bit, including a few swoops that don’t look right because they would be hard-to-impossible with a real pen. You’ll find your feet with it in a bit.


Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: August 20, 2011, 3:31 pm

Trollovia. Snort.

I guess it’s that lack of sophisticated American humor that leads me to chuckle at that, eh?

Comment from Sven in Colorado
Time: August 20, 2011, 4:29 pm


Be very glad you do not have domestic geese. They are VERY territorial.

Me crazy aunt (the one who ran away from rural Colorado to live the Bohemian life in NorCal) took a very crooked finger to the grave. Seems that when the girls were walking home from school on a Friday afternoon, the gander thought that Patti was a threat to his breeding geese. Damn near took the finger right off her hand.

Grandmum did her best to set it arights with a popsicle stick and tape from the medicine cabinet. That kept the digit immobile until Monday rolled around and Grandpa Woody returned with the Model “A”. Then the local doc did his best to set it. Still ’twas never quite right.

Knowing Patti and that flaming Irish temper (yes, she had red hair!), I suspect there were circumstances that were never fully known or discussed until all three girls were full into adulthood.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 20, 2011, 4:47 pm

Oof. Red Arrow down in Bournemouth.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: August 20, 2011, 8:06 pm

That’s not good.

Comment from surly ermine
Time: August 20, 2011, 9:54 pm

ah shit! I had a well thought out post written and navigated away to Mike Cs cartoon. Anyway, I’ll have to check out Manga Studio. My pen strokes suck, yours not so much.

Comment from Andy
Time: August 21, 2011, 12:28 am

Oh, well. I tried.

I linked that Obama-ducking-responsibility-Matrix-style ‘shop at Ace’s and the site summarily went down for most of the day.

I blame Al Gore!

Comment from Oceania
Time: August 21, 2011, 2:49 am

Americans have humour?
Oh yes that’s right, there are things call ‘sit-coms’ where they have ‘canned humour’ on tape … they just turn up the volume … where as before they had big signs that would light up ‘applause’ and the Chicken Audience would Cluck.

Comment from Crazy Uncle Joe
Time: August 21, 2011, 3:00 am

Um. Cunt, piss, nipples? Have I been upstaged or summat?

Comment from Andy
Time: August 21, 2011, 5:50 am

Oceania, I believe a term you may understand is, “piss off.”

Or, as we say here in the states, “go fuck yourself, you stupid piece of shit.”

Either/or. Really.

Comment from Numb3rs
Time: August 21, 2011, 6:05 am

Someone is playing psyops here.
Oceania is three people.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 21, 2011, 11:23 am

This is not a place I would choose to do psyops. Begging y’all’s pardon, it’s a little too weird in here. You’d have to work too hard to stand out.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 21, 2011, 12:03 pm

Awww…thanks, Andy. I just saw it. The occasional Ace-o-lanche is the engine that drives my traffic. Sech as it is.

Comment from some vegetable
Time: August 21, 2011, 1:28 pm

I’m not crazy, dammit!!!

Don’t EVER call me crazy or I’ll cut your heart out.

Just sayin’

Comment from Statler & Waldorf, LLP
Time: August 21, 2011, 4:48 pm

an attempt to do wet work psyops in the Badger sett is like trying to hold up a gun store run by retired cops. Sure, someone will try once in a while. It won’t be pretty.

Sven in Colo, were you once a roadie for CS&Y?
You look kinda familiar.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: August 21, 2011, 6:40 pm

Stoaty, do you have an “ignore” button? Because there’s an idiot I’d like to ignore.

People who think they’re being clever but are just being stupid are not worth the bandwidth.

Comment from Some Vegetable
Time: August 21, 2011, 6:50 pm

Oh, damn….. sorry

now where’s that medication?

Comment from Sven in Colorado
Time: August 21, 2011, 7:56 pm

Statler & Waldorf,

Nope, I was not a roadie for David Crosby, Stephen Stills and Graham Nash. And I sure as shit was not a roadie for that Whining, Cannuck Scorpio: Neal Young!

However, love CSN’s music and begrudgingly tip my hat to some of the work Neal did whilst playing with them.

That being said, I did live in the Santiago Canyon complex above Laguna Beach during CSN&Y’s rise to superstardom along with Joni Mitchell and others who made their first mark in LA. I left SoCal for good just as the infamous and disastrous Altamont Speedway concert was in full bore. SoCal was getting scary violent as the drug scene switched from psychedelics to hard shit…heroin, speed, coke. Bad dope and gun runners from the midwest and east coast were pouring in looking to make a quick buck….and the simmering racial/ethnic gangs violence was beginning to really ramp it up in Watts, Bellflower, South Central and neighboring communities.

I returned to my roots in the foothills of Colorado’s Front Range mountains. That was about the time that the Caribou Ranch recording studio above Boulder/Nederland were coming on line. Some great music came out of THAT venue. Locals like Zephyr and Mountain, other folks like Pure Prairie League, The Eagles, Joe Walsh and Barnstorm and numerous other country rockers found a fresh voice there.

Sadly, now the Front Range is just another congested, progressive/liberal mega-metroplex way too similar to the Los Angeles.

I’m thinking Torrington, Wyoming is a nice place to retire.

Comment from Sven in Colorado
Time: August 21, 2011, 8:15 pm

BTW, some vegetable, et.al. — I still hunt on antelope and plains deer on a private ranch outside of Chugwater, WY. There is one dirt road onto the ranch and a crudely hand painted sign greets one and all:

Private Property, No Trespassing! — Survivors will be jailed and prosecuted, if the Sheriff takes a notion.

Ya’ll don’t need medication, just a change of scenery…and a little bourbon and branchwater.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 21, 2011, 8:35 pm

Hm. I did a search of ignore user plugins for WordPress, Nina, and the only one appears to be for bulletin board software owned by WP.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: August 21, 2011, 10:09 pm

Too bad, because he’s a moron.


Comment from Sven in Colorado
Time: August 21, 2011, 10:56 pm

Yeup, he/she is.

His/her snoot full of itself would have not found a seat on the Unsinkable Molly Brown’s life boat. Wretched souls like him/her need a week or two wandering the salt and caustic soda flats out behind Dingy Harry Reids hometown of Searchlight, Nevada.

Other than that, the souless twit’s not worth my time.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: August 21, 2011, 11:03 pm

Well, but. . .he posts in the same alias always. One can achieve the same result as an ignore-user plug-in would give, by simply refusing to read his posts. We don’t do that for the same reason that we cannot drive by a car-crash scene at anything approacing ordinary speed: there is a fascination exerted by disaster. I’m trying to school myself to see his posts as an education in trolling. . .

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: August 22, 2011, 10:53 am

Whose posts? Y’all disparaging me again???\


Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: August 22, 2011, 11:35 am

Was the harvester a John Deere? In the Sacred Colors Agricultural Green amd Industrial Yellow?

Comment from Sporadic Small Arms Fire
Time: August 22, 2011, 12:54 pm

that explains a lot. Can’t stand Young either, but he is a talented alas disturbed man.
Being a polar opposite of hippies (compulsive neatness & Brooks Bros. Extensive collection) i have punched about 3 of them back in a day and it feels great still. They do have a purpose after all. I hunt every 3 years or so W of Dubois, Wyo and concur with your observation. The natives are some of the most pleasant, reliable and honorable people i have ever encountered. But they live in a world that is parallel to law enforcement and seldom if ever the twain shall meet. Alaskans are weirdos. Wyomingians are very much ok, their isolation did not turn them into islanders.

This blog has more sockpuppets than a Muppet show re-enactment.

Comment from Ric Locke
Time: August 22, 2011, 1:24 pm

Can’t Hark — if you want to develop skills for troll-coping, go to Joy McCann’s place (Little Miss Attila) and study “ponce”. I’m quite sure you’ve read enough BritFic to get the reference.

A good troll is on topic, but inserts barbed references that derail the discussion. Oceania is a miserable excuse for a troll — he/she/it (pronounce that with a Southern accent) is more like a spoiled ten-year-old overturning the displays at the supermarket to get Mommy’s attention.


Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: August 22, 2011, 2:16 pm

Ric: Sigh. The to-do list just gets longer and longer. . .

I gathered, from Stoaty’s “Raise your game” a couple of weeks or so ago, that it is possible to do the thing much more elegantly than Oceania–and I entirely concur in your assessment of how this troll’s posts appear. So sad, really.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: August 22, 2011, 3:30 pm

Maybe it’s just me, but your chook drawings remind me of William F. Buckley. I have got to stop mixing cough medicine and Vicodin.

Actually, what I’ve got to do is start drinking the cough medicine, and not freebasing it, the way my Mother taught me.

Comment from some vegetable
Time: August 22, 2011, 3:33 pm

Not to change the subject away from “What do we do with a problem like Maria?” but I’ve kind of given up on “Fallout 3”.

It seems like it could be a great game but one evening, after admittedly not playing for very long, I found myself (or at least my avatar) trapped in a hallway being attacked by radioactive rats that I couldn’t really see well since I was having trouble seeing anyrhing but the floor, and apparently being beaten over the head and shoulders by someone behind me. Lights were flashing and sirens were shrieking and the screen of my pc was becoming obscured with digitalized representations of my (sic) blood.

It suddenly occured to me that this seemed too much like a typical day at my office, and I turned the game off.

Guess I’m not well suited to video games.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: August 22, 2011, 3:52 pm

Really? I confess, I don’t read most of Oceania’s posts (I scan them for the n-word and biff accordingly), but I get the impression he’s a nut. Perhaps that’s why I’m not as offended; it’s all word salad and crazy talk with some Tourettes and weak taunting thrown in.

I mean, scan up to comment #6. Is that supposed to be a snippet of chicken genome, or what?

My schitz-dar is generally pretty powerful.

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