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They watch us. Always.

I don’t know. Somehow the out of focus makes this one funnier to me.

Got jammed up tonight. Had to help Uncle B do some proofreading. So…I dunno…how’s about I fob you off with the ten jokes voted the best of the Edinburgh Fringe arts festival:

10) “My friend died doing what he loved … Heroin.”

9) “I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can’t even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails.”

8) “Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I’m not falling for that one again, wife.”

7) “I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.”

6) “My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.”

5) “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, ‘Let’s make this interesting’. So we stopped playing chess.”

4) “Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought… once you’ve hired the car…”

3) “People say ‘I’m taking it one day at a time’. You know what? So is everybody. That’s how time works.”

2) “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”

1) “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”

Ba-dum tssss.


Comment from Oldcat
Time: September 1, 2011, 10:33 pm

Isn’t that window pretty low down to the ground?

Comment from Mono The Elderish
Time: September 1, 2011, 10:38 pm

Just going to go out on a limb and say its a basement window.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 1, 2011, 10:43 pm

She’s standing on a sill. But, yes, it’s a low window. This is the original part of the house, which is 16th C.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: September 1, 2011, 11:22 pm

What are the shadowy objects in front of the window?

They look like two small chickens facing each other with an egg between them.

Maybe that’s what the outside chicken is watching.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 1, 2011, 11:51 pm

Hahaha…yes. They’re two wire art chickens with a wooden egg between them.

My mother-in-law. She’s actually slightly chicken phobic, but she’s fascinated with stories of our chooks. Whenever she sees anything chicken themed, she buys it and sends it to us.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 2, 2011, 12:03 am

By the way, that blurry object to the right is Lucia Head Chicken. Moving too fast for the exposure. I hate using flash.

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 2, 2011, 12:08 am

Those Edinburgh Fringe arts festival joke judges seem to have Edinburgh Fringe senses of humor. Some of those are a little clever, but not one of them is very funny. Except #10, but that’s more a reflection of my own twisted idea of what to laugh at. The sex/food one is not funny at all. Do you hear me!?! Not Funny At All!


Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: September 2, 2011, 12:17 am

Thing is, Uncle Al, those are the ones voted the best for the festival but we don’t, um, know what the /other/ jokes were. “Best of” is a moveable feast, heavily dependent on the quality of submissions.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 2, 2011, 12:23 am

Oh, I don’t know. I liked #10, 5, 3, 2 and 1. So that’s about half of them.

They also mentioned the one marked worst joke of all, but I didn’t write it down.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 2, 2011, 12:26 am

Look at this mad chook!!!


Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: September 2, 2011, 12:40 am

I should probably have said. . .I don’t actually think those jokes are all that bad, although I would have ranked #2 as the best. #1 is still definitely a snorter, I didn’t get #5, and I chortled at #7. Hope Mirrlees says that there are totems in humor, and I find that a useful way to think about the fact that what makes me laugh out loud in public. . .puzzles some of my best friends.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 2, 2011, 12:45 am

Fuck me, Can’t hark. Hope Mirlees? Have we had this conversation?

Lud in the Mist blew holes in my little skull when I was, like, nine. I didn’t think ANYbody else remembered Hope Mirlees.

Remind me tomorrow, when I’m sober, to tell you about borrowing the Providence Library’s rare book collection copy of Lud in the Mist.

Comment from Uncle Badger
Time: September 2, 2011, 12:46 am

I think we have some kind of psych test here.

Her Stoatliness and I immediately agreed that our favourite was number 10.

You know, I don’t think that reflects very well on us 😉

Still… at least it means we’re going to hell together.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: September 2, 2011, 1:16 am

Sweas, tomorrow morning when we are both sober, there will be no need for you to tell that tale–you already told it (and I didn’t find LITM until I was roughly 20. . .somewhere about 10 years after you I think, but I’m not up to doing the research needed to do the math tonight!). And made me ecstatically joyous, because I knew noone else who valued that book as I did (well, in honesty, I knew noone else who had even read it). I now, thanks to you, know two people who have read and treasure it (that includes you). So. . .yeah, when I threw a Mirrlees mention, I figured you’d catch, but didn’t actually expect this level of public notoriety.

Psych test? Hm. OK, I’ll admit I thought #10 was funny. . .but I’m still going with #2 as best. But then. . .I hang out on a grammar group on LinkedIn, and that probably rubs off.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: September 2, 2011, 1:34 am

On the other hand, hm. . .more detail about you and the rare book would be cool. . and fun, at least for me. Not, of course, at the level of chickens and ferrets, but a splendid start for a labor day weekend here where Irene did serious damage. . .but not to me.

Comment from SCOTTtheBADGER
Time: September 2, 2011, 4:42 am

I don’t get #6.

I have seen, as a Badger, some things in parking ramps/lots I would just rather forget.

Comment from MIke C.
Time: September 2, 2011, 7:15 am

Confirms my opinion that the Fringe Festival is mostly a bunch of morons. Okay, did take the kids (back when they were kids) to a play for children the one time we were there for it, and they did enjoy that, but otherwise, it was just street clutter.

Comment from Deborah
Time: September 2, 2011, 2:46 pm

Earlier this week I read an obituary in a private newsletter that said, “He died doing what he loved.” And the young man in question had wrapped his motorcycle (and himself) around a utility pole. No.10 made me laugh.

Husband used to work for an ISP, so when I read No.1 to him, he just stared at me.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 2, 2011, 6:44 pm

I looked it up. We *did* have that conversation, Can’t Hark. Rare book collection and all.

Comment from Can’t hark my cry
Time: September 2, 2011, 10:03 pm

So I see. . .and yes, the details had faded from memory a bit.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: September 3, 2011, 4:54 am

hark: I now, thanks to you, know two people who have read and treasure it…

Two and and a half – I’ve read it, but can’t say I treasure it. I stil have the Ballantine PB of it acquired in 1976 – but I’m not sure I ever re-read it.

Probably I will now, to see if I didn’t properly appreciate it before.

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 3, 2011, 12:11 pm

As in childbirth, timing and delivery are key.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: September 3, 2011, 6:28 pm

I laughed at number 10 too. Am I bad?

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 4, 2011, 4:14 pm

I thought the chess one was good. I hate chess.

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