sweasel.com

Professor Irwin Corey. he’s still breathing, proving that only the good die young.

Hugo Chavez for the barbed cock of Satan!

(For him – I just want plain ol’ dick) 🙂

Hugo Chavez

Whoop, whoop, whoop, Whoop! (\/) (;,,;) (\/)

DAMN!

Done in by the Zoidberg emoticon!

I’ll stick with Mubarak..

Fidel….for the block!

Muammar Gaddafi. They have to find him sooner or later…

Maggie again. I’m her insurance policy, I never win anything!

Now that Jobs is out it’s back to miserable old bastard Ed Asner.

Al-Megrahi, that murderous, malingering fuck. Go big C !

Kenneth Melson, the now inconveniently breathing former head of the BATFE who supervised the smuggling of guns into Mexico with Operation Fast and Furious/Gunnrunner. The track has led to Attny. General Holder, and could lead higher if there is any untoward testimony.

Subotai Bahadur

Hugh Hefner. Cancelled weddings, cancelled shows, Viagra, shingles, mystery illnesses in The Mansion, sheesh. He’s had a good run, and it’s not that I think he’s a bad guy. (Hell, didn’t all us drooling idiots want to be him when we were young?) I just can’t thumb my nose at the Fates and switch to somebody different. Plus, I was too late to get that prick Chavez!

Hah, nobody else has taken the ultimate fool’s gambit this time, so I will.

Zsa Zsa Gabor, for the DEATH!

Zsa Zsa is the ultimate teaser….

She has been having her way with us for more than a year.

I wonder if it would be legal to pick her other leg….

Or would that simply result in the receipt of a meager spoonfull of dick?

My money is still on Helen Thomas.

I’ll stick with Michael Moore. Judging from his latest pictures, he musta eaten some of those Occupy Wallstreeters.
So, like, he’s not all bad.

Jimmy Carter.

Please.

Still placing my bet on John Dingell, D(ithering Old Commie), MI, who froze my heart when he apologized for O-Care taking so long to be enacted, with, “It takes time to control the people.” Rep. Dingell, I believe, has held his seat in the House since the early ’50s!

OK I’ll take Erenest Borgnine. sad choice for me cause I really like him.

Nasty Pelosi.

Jeanine Garafolo, in the medical marijuana dispensary, with a bong up the wazzoo.

Di-Al de Los Muertos Molinaro

Rosanne Barr

By guillotine would be a plus but I’ll settle for choking on food, or BOTH ;oP

Dick Clark

Barack Hussein Obama, when he throws himself under the bus. I can dream anyway.

Antonin Scalia

Lanny Breuer, Asst. U.S. Atty General, will be sacrificed to the Fell Gods of Govt to break the chain of evidence/culpability for running guns to murderous thugs in Mexico for the purpose of making the numbers useful for demanding yet more authoritarian control over us long-suffering mundane peaceful and law-abiding Americans.

Adam Gadahn (AQ American born spokes-hole), via Hellfire – but I would prefer a slower more painful method…

Hey Lady ….. Jerry Lewis

Maya Angelou…why, you ask? Why not? No one lives forever…

Clint Eastwood.

Seein’ as how this is a .44 magnum, capable of winning this contest hands-down…

Chaz Bono, in an unfortunate skinny(har)-dipping accident with her/his/its Mamba instructor Raoul.

Ayman Zawahiri. Unless I misread and someone bagged him already.

Dick Durbin for the dick!

Eric Holder, in the conservatory by a fast and furious weapon. Stupid can’t live forever.

Yes, please, and thank you, Your Stoatliness!

Everyone here is very excited to have won. We lead a quiet life on the Hill Homestead.

It’s early, there are numerous good picks out there, but I leave them to you all and grab a new candidate: ex-Justice John Paul Stevens, Jerry Ford’s worst mistake.

Sen. Lautenberg of NJ.

Dan Rather

Mickey Rooney

Andy Rooney

Sticking to it…..Dick Cheney

Dammit..got here too late, goin back to the standby – Antoine “Fats” Domino.

Olivia De Havilland.

Ruby Muhammad. 105 and climbing. Gotta go sometime eh?

Tawakul Karman . I hope not, but I have the feeling Stockholm painted a target on her back.

Crap, got done in by fate…I was planning on being here during breakfast this AM, but that didn’t happen. Now who to choose?!

I dunno. Mebbe I’ll think of someone later tonight.

What a dang day.

Joe Biden. One more Gaffe may be too many.

Harry Morgan, I’m thinking it’s his time, I don’t really want it.
After all, it wasn’t his fault he was involved in making MASH painfully unfunny. He was hilarious as the crazy general when it was still funny.

The European Union

Disco is long dead.

Just missed my usual pick so I’ll go with Betty White.

“Abe Vigoda,” I replied.

Nelson Mandela for the dick.

The US stock exchange – later this month!

How about Oceania’s favorite ewe – from a drunken evening resulting in a preforated colon……

Once again with the man of letters, the 103 year old Jacques Barzun, of San Antonio Texas.

Ok, because I’m tired and have no imagination, I’ll go with Frank Lautenberg (senator from NJ) again.

Grizzly: Too late. Lautenberg was taken by me at 10:58PM.

By “me”, that is, not by me – I took ex-Justice Stevens.

Lots of good alternatives: Pete Seeger, Ramsey Clark, Roman Polanski, Fred Phelps, Ayman Zawahiri, Jim Wright, Charlie Rangel, Harry F. Byrd (no relation to the late Robert, but like him a flaming racist Senator, and three years older), Lowell Weicker, George McGovern…

C’mon, take one! Gotta have a valid pick!

Pauline Phillips (“Dear Abby”/”Abigail Van Buren”)

Verne Troyer. His remaining time on earth will be short.

George Mcgovern surely stirs my heart with the illicit urge to see someone I never met die but I have to go with…damn,Jimmah Carter is taken, right?

Darn, let me take Phil Donahue for 100, Alex, in the category closeted communists who started in Ohio and wound up being Assholes…thanks. Or Marlo Thomas to block. Liza with a herpes sore Minnelli if those are taken…fashizzle…

By the way, Abe Vigoda served in the Revolutionary Army at Valley Forge as a sergeant. He helped tie east and west with the transcontinental railroad and he crossed the Alps with Hannibal and the Carthaginians. Cut Abe some slack, he was 200 years old when they filmed Fish. He had to be brought out of suspended animation for his Snickers commercial. Hell, he was around when death in the arena was worth more than a Snickers bar…props to Abe for lasting a couple millenia …word up Dog. You lived longer than most societies. Hard to post legibly when you’re buzzed.

Scube … I pity that man who does not know his Ovine anatomy … dear oh dear.

I hear that nearly 50% of America is now living on some sort of government handout?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2045863/How-half-U-S-population-lives-household-receives-state-benefits.html#ixzz1a37aiCVe

We need someone different. Tom Lehrer.

And if you don’t know who he is, tell mommy you want a cookie.

Lehrer has said of his musical career, “If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.”[2]

Heh.

Nelson Mandela

The old man is about to have a final Lynching, and its not the Soweto Soccer Club 🙂

Flash, my comment was less about her anatomy and more about your aim….

Buddy Ryan gets 46’d.

I shoulda picked Al Davis. Too late now.

Al Davis dying is it’s own reward! Sorry, he earned undying hatred from us old-school Raiders fans when he moved them to LA.

My man Moon….Sun Myung

Eh. I probably wouldn’t have taken Davis anyhow. I’m bigtime not into sports. A player, maybe. An owner, probably not.

Hope.

MIke C. : My Dad introduced me to Tom Lehrer’s songs waaaay back in the 60s, and I have 3 of his CDs. Love his songs, and have been corrupt…er…introducing my friends to him for years as well, now doing the same Down Under. 😉

Back to Larry King.

Andrew Sullivan.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Not that I think it’s going to happen this Dead Pool, but after watching the new CSI, I’d have to add Ted Danson to the “sometime soon” list. What’s the deal with him? He looks almost as bad as Steve Jobs.

I guess I’ll go with George Beverly Shea again.

Silvio Berlusconi, who seems to be trying to offend as many people as possible before he departs this mortal coil.

Nancy Reagan it is.

Moot though it may be, Al Davis was no quiet owner. He was a notorious pain in the ass, a legendary crank and widely despised. Bye, Al!

AWWWW, FER JEBUS SAKE!!! (heated and served in a delicate, translucent, porcelain shot cup.)

Will Kirk (Spartacus) Douglas please turn loose his spotted soul dick~e~ness and allow his wretched son to cough his bloody brain into oblivion?

— Kirk Douglas for the Welsh, errant lily.

I woke early, before the false dawn that greets duck and goose hunters. We spent the last two days attending to the business of the struggling Episcopal Diocese of Colorado in the stunning landscape of the Grand Valley of Mesa County.

Lordy, I love this land!

Oceania, you might want to extract your vapid and fetid soul from its cancerous root in fecal soil and seek the Sun.

Who knows? Ya might find the true Son.

Rod Blagojevich, former Governor of Illinos, former crony of current U.S. President Obama, former client of realtor Antonin “Tony” Rezko, and general all-around crooked pol.

Well, if Sven is doing Kirk can I do Michael?

Although a a fellow neck-area cancer sufferer, I hate to do that to the guy.

😛

Melanomas?

Oh I’ve had plenty of them removed – they are fun! In fact, a little skin surgery under local is great to watch, depending on ones view. Although strangely I found myself correcting the dermatologist on how to incise through the skin … he didn’t even know about polarisation of the collagen matrix in the keratinocytic layer and basement membranes!
Draw yourselves a circle on ones skin, and see which direction gives the best ellipse … cut in that direction, as it reduces scar tissue immensely. Avoid cutting across it.
If you give the closing wound a quick squirt with fibrin based solution, it helps the planar cell polarisation in wound healing …

[Oceania — dude! — you’re losing me readers, up with which I will not put. You know where the line is; kindly stay on the right side of it or I will surgically remove the cancerous bits.]

Joan Fontaine…

Shocka……NOT. She’s going to outlive us all!!!!!!!!

Zsa Zsa Gabor, 94, Recovering After Being Rushed to Hospital

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2011/10/09/zsa-zsa-gabor-4-recovering-after-being-rushed-to-hospital/?test=faces#ixzz1aJikYAlT

Christopher Hitchens

*AAAUGHGHGH!*

Remember, only the good die young. Zsa Zsa will live forever.

Wasn’t it her mum that chased a house maid down the road for 4 km with a meat cleaver? It is so hard to get good servants these days …
🙂

Paul McCartney. At the alter. With a candelabra.

Oh, dear me yes, Patrick. I’d forgotten he’s getting hitched again soon. Idiot. Some people never learn.

He lives up the road from us. The local paper was all excited because he’s doing everything locally.

I hope he had the good measure not to marry an American woman? They are incredibly hard to re-train, and they have the most apppppalling accents~!

Now, that is so graceless as to be almost comedic.

I dunno, can’t hark. Oceania just cracks me up. Somehow, insults supposedly fired from East Sheepballs, New Zealand by a garage geneticist…what, making fun of my accent? *Snort*!

Still, by now I’ve heard from enough people who *are* bothered that I suppose I’ll have to rein in the worst of his excesses.

You hear that, my pet? Keep your fingers away from the red buttons.

Well, count me as one of those not so much bothered as bemused and entranced by the flights of fancy. And, occasionally, rendered helpless with mirth–his most recent definitely being one of those occasions. Although it’s hard to tell whether he was deliberately baiting you in the hope of ruffling your imperturbability (silly him! if so), or is simply oblivious. . .

The really ugly stuff–well, there are people in the world who think like that, whether I like it or not. Still, it is rude to dump it in someone else’s sandbox once you’ve been told it isn’t welcome there.

Phyllis Diller.

I think Zsa Zsa must be a zombie robot or something!! She’ll never die…..

Rosalynn Carter. Bless her heart.

Oh Hell:

Or a cyborg, or a vampire like Dick Clark, or Red Lectroid Evil via the 8th Dimension!

Whatever she is, she’s gonna drive me crazy with all of these death-fakes and recoveries.

Oh Hell:

Whatever she is, she’s gonna drive me crazy with all of these death-fakes and recoveries.

I tried to warn you people about picking her….

It may bend the rules a bit, but i wouldn’t be surprised to discover that her other leg….err…”kicks the bucket” anytime soon…

She, however, continues to abide.

Red buttons?
Oh how Communist of you ….
Sheeps Balls? Cough – here we call them Mountain Oysters.

Garage geneticist? Not really, the lab is Equipped. In fact, it would make Cascade Blush …

And yes, you still have your accent … you shall have to work harder to remove it.

Clearly, Zsa Zsa was the prototype for the Vanna White android of “Wheel Of Fortune” fame.

Horrid horrid Gordon Brown because he is a walking bag of psychoses, and smells slightly of wee.

Actually Sweasel … You know that Lampshade joke?
The real joke is that there wasn’t one – it’s an Urban Myth.

And we no longer use knives (except for diamond knives – the tips are 4 atoms wide) – we use modified viruses (without giving too much away – Adenoviruses are the basic model) …
For types of internal tumours, we biospy, genetically sequence first, we use British Biocell <1 nm colloidal gold.
These clear renally after 85 hours, however they are taken up by macrophages in the spleen, and prodominantly the liver and retained. Also in the extracellular matrix, particulary negatively charged proteoglycans. I digress.
A quick x-ray determines the amount still in the system, and they all stick like shit to a blanket to the tumours.

Then you have two options, a fluoro/xray/ct or RF stimulation … the little nano particles burn out the tumours, as they chronically absorbed them en mass.

Left over gold is cleared renally, and curiously it also promoates recover of RA. The Chinese use Ultrasound to do the same thing, just that we are fancier.

🙂

Ramsey Clark. I wonder if the earth would spit him up?

I’m way late in the game so I’ll take a lame choice that I didn’t see on the list. Who knows, maybe he’ll kick off in a completely expected fashion.

Charlie Sheen.

Tah dah.

Lauren Bacall.

“Mrs Hill takes the dick with Anwar al-Awlaki.”

Now THAT’S a lede…

shit, the one week I don’t nail al-Awlaki and the fucker goes and gets hisself killt.

Okay, so maybe it was more like several weeks. Months, even. Hey! I been busy.

Anyway, this week I call Andy “What It Was, Was Football” Griffith. For no good reason except he’s one old fuck.

Does that Oceanal twat ever actually shut up? I swear it thinks it has its own weblog.

Robert Mugabe

Dick Van Dyke

Once more, unto the breach…

Nasty ol’ Jane Fonda, as rancid-Red-souled as she ever was…

Those utter fools at Occupy Los(t) Angeles must be giving her undue and unspeakable thrills of decrepit delight.

I set forth a motion that “J.S.Bridges” wins this round……

what ever the hell set forth a motion means ;o)

Demi Moore…that anorexia shit is nothing to mess around with. And whoever voted Antonin Scalia? Please lose. We can’t afford to lose Scalia.

It’s been a week, and the new picks have slowed to a trickle (and the last round, ahem, came to a sudden end) so here is the compiled list to date.

76 good picks:

Andy – 10/7/11 – 7:14 PM – Helen Thomas
Andy (from Ace/H2) – 10/8/11 – 7:54 PM – Larry King
Argentium. G. Tiger – 10/7/11 – 6:31 PM – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Armybrat – 10/7/11 – 10:28 PM – Dick Durbin
bigsmarthuman – 10/8/11 – 8:34 PM – Andrew Sullivan
Bill the Butcher – 10/8/11 – 12:10 AM – Olivia De Havilland
Bruno Braun – 10/7/11 – 11:15 PM – Mickey Rooney
Carl – 10/9/11 – 9:17 PM – Christopher Hitchens
catnip – 10/8/11 – 5:05 AM – Pauline Phillips (“Dear Abby”/”Abigail Van Buren”)
Cobrakai99 – 10/8/11 – 12:46 AM – Joe Biden
David Gillies – 10/11/11 – 4:48 AM – Gordon Brown
drew458 – 10/8/11 – 9:14 PM – Ruth Bader Ginsburg
dustoffmom – 10/7/11 – 11:49 PM – Dick Cheney
EastAsia – 10/7/11 – 7:15 PM – Michael Moore
eirik – 10/8/11 – 1:49 AM – Betty White
Elizabeth – 10/11/11 – 10:01 PM – Lauren Bacall
Elphaba – 10/14/11 – 3:01 AM – Demi Moore
Formerly known as Skeptic – 10/7/11 – 6:07 PM – Muammar Gaddafi
Gromulin – 10/7/11 – 11:50 PM – Antoine “Fats” Domino
gulliblepratt – 10/7/11 – 9:25 PM – Jerry Lewis
harrison – 10/8/11 – 2:17 AM – Abe Vigoda
HenryIII – 10/7/11 – 6:29 PM – Hugh Hefner
huerfano – 10/10/11 – 4:55 PM – Rosalynn Carter
J Foster – 10/7/11 – 6:10 PM – Ed Asner
J.S.Bridges – 10/13/11 – 12:46 PM – Jane Fonda
James the lesser – 10/8/11 – 12:44 AM – Tawakul Karman
Janna – 10/7/11 – 8:21 PM – Dick Clark
JC – 10/8/11 – 4:10 AM – Jacques Barzun
JeffS – 10/7/11 – 7:26 PM – Jimmy Carter
Justin Credible – 10/7/11 – 6:01 PM – Professor Irwin Corey
jwpaine – 10/12/11 – 3:56 PM – Andy Griffith
Kansas Gman – 10/8/11 – 5:35 AM – Verne Troyer
Malcolm Kirkpatrick – 10/7/11 – 10:25 PM – Ayman Zawahiri
mandel bread – 10/7/11 – 8:01 PM – Di-Al de Los Muertos Molinaro
me – 10/7/11 – 10:58 PM – Sen. Lautenberg of NJ
Mija Cat – 10/9/11 – 1:32 AM – Rod Blagojevich
MIke C. – 10/8/11 – 7:10 AM – Tom Lehrer
mongo – 10/11/11 – 9:57 PM – Charlie Sheen
Mono The Elderish – 10/8/11 – 12:39 AM – Ruby Muhammad
Montenegro – 10/7/11 – 7:44 PM – Erenest Borgnine
Mr. Dave – 10/11/11 – 1:05 PM – Ramsey Clark
Mr. Matamoros – 10/7/11 – 9:29 PM – Maya Angelou
MrCaniac – 10/8/11 – 2:31 AM – Nelson Mandela
Mrs. Compton – 10/7/11 – 6:09 PM – Maggie [Thatcher]
Nina from GCP – 10/9/11 – 4:05 AM – Michael Douglas
Oh Hell – 10/7/11 – 10:37 PM – Eric Holder
ooGcM taobmaetS – 10/7/11 – 9:48 PM – Clint Eastwood
Pablo – 10/8/11 – 11:13 PM – Nancy Reagan
PatAZ – 10/7/11 – 8:41 PM – Barack Hussein Obama
Patrick – 10/10/11 – 1:57 AM – Paul McCartney
platypuss – 10/8/11 – 2:19 PM – Buddy Ryan
Rich Rostrom – 10/7/11 – 10:54 PM – ex-Justice John Paul Stevens
Ripley – 10/9/11 – 5:19 PM – Joan Fontaine
RushBabe – 10/7/11 – 7:28 PM – John Dingell
rustbucket – 10/7/11 – 10:12 PM – Chaz Bono
Scubafreak – 10/7/11 – 6:05 PM – Mubarak
skinbad – 10/12/11 – 6:01 PM – Robert Mugabe
Some Vegetable – 10/7/11 – 6:03 PM – Hugo Chavez
Spad13 – 10/7/11 – 11:03 PM – Dan Rather
Stark Dickflüssig – 10/7/11 – 7:44 PM – Nasty Pelosi
Stephen Falken – 10/7/11 – 8:42 PM – Antonin Scalia
steve – 10/7/11 – 6:05 PM – Fidel [Castroo]
stina – 10/8/11 – 9:53 PM – Silvio Berlusconi
Subotai Bahadur – 10/7/11 – 6:28 PM – Kenneth Melson
Sven in Colorado – 10/9/11 – 12:01 AM – Kirk (Spartacus) Douglas
the fashizzlizer, forrmerly enter sandman. – 10/8/11 – 5:59 AM – Phil Donahue
thefritz – 10/8/11 – 4:35 PM – Sun Myung Moon
Truman North – 10/7/11 – 7:52 PM – Jeanine Garafolo
TwoDogs – 10/7/11 – 6:24 PM – Al-Megrahi
Uncle Al – 10/7/11 – 8:51 PM – Lanny Breuer, Asst. U.S. Atty General
unkawill – 10/12/11 – 8:13 PM – Dick Van Dyke
USCitizen – 10/7/11 – 11:31 PM – Andy Rooney
Veeshir – 10/8/11 – 12:46 AM – Harry Morgan
weaselwannabe – 10/7/11 – 9:11 PM – Adam Gadahn
xul – 10/8/11 – 9:43 PM – George Beverly Shea
zooomzooom – 10/7/11 – 8:19 PM – Rosanne Barr

Four problem picks

Truman North – 10/10/11 – 2:18 PM – Phyllis Diller

You already took Jeanine Garafolo.

Grizzly – 10/8/11 – 4:12 AM – Frank Lautenberg (senator from NJ)

Already taken by me (“me”, not me)

mojo – 10/8/11 – 7:23 PM – Hope

Not a person, that I know of. Ms. Stoaty?

Oceania – 10/8/11 – 7:25 AM – Nelson Mandela

Already taken by MrCainiac.

Grizzly, mojo, Oceania: reload and take aim!

Lots of targets:

Pete Seeger! David Rockefeller! Raul Castro! Helen Gurley Brown! Bashir Assad! Joseph Kony! Harry Byrd! Arthur Scargill! George Soros! Vladimir Putin!

hank heimlich

I believe we have a winner!

Gaddafi killed as Libya’s revolt claims hometown

Picked by: “Formerly known as Skeptic”
on Oct 7, 6:07 pm:
“Muammar Gaddafi. They have to find him sooner or later…”

“Formerly known as Skeptic”

You can’t call him “dickless” anymore!

Weasie, There are a lot of Dead Pool posts floating around the site. This one is #20, but if you click the sidebar Dead Pool, that one’s #18 and people are currently posting on it.

Meanwhile, Andy Rooney has slipped the mortal coil at 92.