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Mad Jack’s toy, the movie

By popular acclaim — okay, one of you guys asked for it, don’t remember who — here’s a YouTube of Mad Jack playing with his kitten maddener. If you look in the sidebar next to the video, you’ll see many other people posting vids of their cats playing with the same toy. Because this is the internet, and that’s what billions of dollars of network development was destined to do. Apparently.

Back here tomorrow for Round 60 of the Dead Pool.
If we don’t wash away in the night.

sock it to me

February 6, 2014 — 11:24 pm
Comments: 14

I’m trying to be all shocked and outraged

I’m trying really, really hard to feel menaced. I really am. But. I dunno.

If you haven’t seen the North Korean propaganda YouTube everyone’s talking about, go see it now. No, I mean it — if you want to see it, go now. Copies are being taken down as quickly as they’re uploaded, on account of it violates Activision’s copyright.

Yeah. The games company. That scary bomb-America footage was stolen from the computer game Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. And the soundtrack is a tinkly piano version of We Are the World.

Are you askeert yet? Because there’s also a sleeping Korean, dreaming his dreamy dreams of world domination, and smiling in his sleep. And an occasional swoosh of sparkly stars, like the one that wafted out of Tinkerbell’s wand in the introduction to Disney’s Wonderful World of Color. B-r-r-r-ing.

If this were any scarier, it could be an episode of My Little Pony.

sock it to me

February 5, 2013 — 11:15 pm
Comments: 28

The best thing you’ll watch today

Best thing you’ll see today, but first I get to explain the joke.

George Formby was a beloved British institution (much like Broadmoor). He was a very popular singer/actor/comedian of the ’30s and ’40s. He played a mean ukulele (banjolele, if you want to get technical) and sang cheerful songs laden with crude sexual innuendo. Sort of a singing saucy seaside postcard.

This guy — the guy in the picture — is starring in a one-man play about Formby. He plays Formby. As a promotional thingie, he made a YouTube of “Formby” performing Fifty Cents’ In Da Club.

In case you are not familiar with Mr Cents’ oeuvre, here is his original video of the song, here is a version of the song showing the lyrics for video, and here is just the lyrics. Well, you can skip all that if you want, but it’s pretty hard to catch the words without text. So here is the main repeated refrain:

You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub
Look mami, I got the X if you’re into taking drugs
I’m into having sex, I ain’t into making love
So come give me a hug, if you’re into getting rubbed

Okay, ready? Now go watch.

There is something profound about how easily the edgy rap song transformed itself into a jingly uke tune. I just can’t quite figure out what that something is.

sock it to me

August 21, 2012 — 9:45 pm
Comments: 16

I will force spiders and badgers on the enemy

“Now you got me whispering to a freak who thinks that fish have menstrual cycles.”

I’m always late to the party, so y’all have probably seen the Bad Lip Reading people. File this under “ideas I wish I’d thought of” — except that it takes some skill and hard work to overdub video as convincingly as these are.

They’re all worth a browse, but my favorite is still the Mitt Romney one that made the rounds yesterday. Not because I hate Romney (though I’m kind of working toward it), but because he’s such a polished character, it’s extra special fun hearing bugfuck crazy things come out of his mouth.

So — let’s go out and shop and grease a big nickel!

sock it to me

October 19, 2011 — 9:28 pm
Comments: 8

Millionaires’n’billionaires

I cut together all the times Obama mentioned the wealthy in his “budget” speech tonight (click for video).

Wow. I thought this would be funny. Actually, it makes me want to start slapping and then slap some more and then give him a big ol’ slap. Slappity-slappity-slappity, mister class warrior man.

Two observations — he frequently made references to “as long as I’m president” and things that will happen in 2014, as though his next term is in the bag. And he repeatedly used the brain-hurty expression “spending reductions in the tax code” which, apparently, means new taxes (update: Joe Collins tells me this means elimination of some deductions and shelters).

Did he think that would fly?

sock it to me

April 13, 2011 — 11:32 pm
Comments: 26

President SooperGenius

Cleek the peecture for veedio. I slung this together in a real hurry trying to get it out last night, and then YouTube let me down. So it’s not brilliant (a soundtrack would’ve perked it up considerably), but the video clip needs to be out there in as many forms as possible.

The AP originally reported this, then thought better of it and tried to airbrush it away: Obama advising a man with ten kids who is worried about gas prices that what he really needs is a new car.

For those of you who aren’t politically inclined — and by way of explaining why I didn’t spend today turning that video into something awesome — here’s one minute and forty seconds of my chickens walking around pecking stuff. Seriously, that’s all there is to it. I spent my whole day sprawled over a lawn chair in the sunshine with a glass of iced tea watching them walk around and peck stuff.

Try it. It’s hypnotic.

sock it to me

April 8, 2011 — 8:52 pm
Comments: 43

Sputnick, salmon, high speed rail

Okay, I lied. I did watch Obama’s State of the Union speech. In fact, I’ve watched it over and over and over tonight.

See, I was going to make you a nice little YouTube highlight reel, but I just couldn’t grab a clean copy. Sometimes I managed to download video but no audio. And sometimes I got video but it juddered horribly. And sometimes…oh, fuck it. You get the idea. I gave up in the end. Clearly I have some things to work out, videographically.

So what did I think of the speech? Honestly? I didn’t think it was as bad as people are saying.

I mean, it was a mess philosophically. The Sputnik metaphor doesn’t work at all, and — oh, dear god! — high speed rail?! Really? That one’s older than I am. It was a muddle, but it was a low-key muddle.

He didn’t flip anybody off. He managed to look reasonably gracious congratulating Boehner. He didn’t come across as too stuck up or madder’n hell. He didn’t look like he was sucking a lemon.

I was terribly disappointed.

sock it to me

January 26, 2011 — 11:18 pm
Comments: 22

On her last day in office, Nancy Pelosi crashed my new computer

Oh, man. I’d been working all afternoon on a video, when the software crashed. Hard.

I’d load the program, it would sit there for ten or fifteen seconds. Then Windows would pop up and say, “there’s something wrong with this thing — seeya!” and shut it down.

I guess it’s an improvement on the Blue Screen of Death. I mean, the program didn’t crash anything but itself. But it sure was off-pissing.

Anyhow, I finally figured it out. There was something in the Nancy Pelosi folder that was freaking it out. When I moved the folder out of the default spot, it worked again.

Spooky.

I wanted to do a lot more with this, but spent most of my free time trying to fix the computer instead. Still, here’s my little goodbye to Nancy Pelosi on YouTube.

G’bye, Nan!

sock it to me

January 6, 2011 — 12:44 am
Comments: 34

Planning for Retirement

I made a short, stupid movie about the 112th Congress (click the pitcher, Sherlock).

I have a love/hate relationship with video, leaning toward hate. I had to work with it a bit back in the day, and I was always screwing up some codec or frame rate or something. The technical side makes me crazy. But the graphics side was pretty fun.

And now that I have an extremely good machine, I figured I’d poke a toe in the water.

sock it to me

January 4, 2011 — 7:08 pm
Comments: 31