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Shiver me timbers! It’s Talk Like a Pirate Day!

pirate weasel

Ahoy, landlubbers! Sure an’ it be Talk Like a Pirate Day again. Sneaks up on on a weasel every year! Them Limey knaves be doin’ it, too! Yarrr!

So talk like a pirate this day, ye scurvy dogs, or ye’ll be walkin’ the plank!

Or, you know, be doin’ it for a while and then be quittin’. Because if I have to listen to it all day long, it’s really going to get on my tits after a while, you know?

September 19, 2007 — 9:03 am
Comments: 24

“If I’m still alive tomorrow morning, we’ll eat my balls.”

Yeah, mostly, I just wanted to post that headline. Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!

Remember Armin Meiwes, the “Cannibal of Rotenburg”? No? He’s the German computer technician who advertised on the internet for a willing human sacrifice and found kindred spirit Bernd Brandes, another computer geek, in 2002.

Manfred Risse, the forensic scientist called in to identify the various neatly-packaged frozen parcels of meat in Meiwes’ freezer, has just written a book about it — “Last Supper of the Murderers,” due to go on sale in Germany September 20. No word yet on an English translation.

Risse (and the court) had to watch all four and a half hours of video of the death and subsequent butchery of Brandes, who actually gasped out that mind-twisty aspiration about his own balls while already horrifically (and fatally) injured.

Alas! He didn’t make it to breakfast. No balls-on-toast for you!

Germans. Foiled again by meticulous record-keeping.

— 6:19 am
Comments: 6