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My Little Pony


September 28, 2007 — 11:56 pm
Comments: 37

The Uncyclopedia:

stoat molesting

How did I miss this? File it under “more things you discover while looking for a photo of Roger Ebert.” It’s the Uncyclopedia, a web parody of Wikipedia. I, of course, had to go to Wikipedia to learn the background, which may have caused a rift in the space/time continuum, whatever that is. Ummm…sorry.

It was started by some guy in early 2005 and quickly outgrew its first host. It now has tens of thousands of articles in dozens of languages. It follows the Wiki model of user-generated content, which is orders of magnitude dicier to do with humor than it is with factual content. Articles range from really pretty funny to not particularly funny at all, most appear to be largely unfunny with occasional bursts of “ha!”…but every single one is funnier than the departmental Monthly Highlights for September, which is what I’m supposed to be reading right now.

One recurring gag is rampant quoting of Oscar Wilde, “a man whose wisdom touches on nearly every conceivable topic, often without consent, which in turn has led to several lawsuits.”

Here’s part of their page on weasels:

The Weasel was first manufactured in 1967 by SONY as an incontinence aid and radar system. Its ability as a device to invoke zero-gravity (normally using bovril) fuelled its instant popularity and led to the GREAT WEASEL BOOM OF 1968

Weasels are reptiles of family muselidae and are honorary members of the von Trapp family.

Weasels are known to be more or less constantly engaged in family feuds.

Fossil evidence from a long, long time ago has suggested that the weasel is in fact a type of crocus (the band, or the flower) and should be classified accordingly as a member of family iridaceae, though the scientists conducting this research were nearing retirement and not very keen on being particularly correct in their conclusions. GOD, MY HEAD’S ITCHY!

Little is ever made of the involvement of weasels in the Gambino crime family, or their studio work with Sly and the Family Stone. Needless to say, “weasel” is synonymous with “family” in many walks of English life, except Wales, (a mythical country, thought to lie off the coast of Nova Scotia. Only accessible during a full moon, from the east), where weasel is spelled Llwchynghwyllio(pronounced luncheon willie).

The proper term referring to two or more weasels is a Limited Liability Partnership of weasels.

See also weaselpudge, weasel popping, stoat molesting and bacon mist.

— 8:52 am
Comments: 10