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You know what’s great about going to Hell?

holy toast

I’ll know so many people there!

This was a birthday gift from my hiking buddy. She saw it and thought of me immediately (blasphemy/weasel? Tack/weasel? Not sure, but I’m flattered). You press it onto a piece of bread and, when you make it toast, the pressed parts come out darker. Voilà! Miracle toast!

At least, I think that’s how it works. I haven’t tried it; my toaster was one of the first things to go. It was a beautiful object — according to the Toaster Museum it was a General Electric 139T81. I saw a picture of one in the industrial design catalog of the Metropolitan Museum of Fine Arts once.

But the pressy thing was go-bust, and you had to jam a fork in it to make the toast stay down, which was pretty bad mojo, especially if you forgot and immolated your toast. Nothing says are you flipping insane? like silverware jammed in an electrical appliance.

I’m proud to say this blasphemous object came from the college bookstore of my alma mater. Wait, can you call it your alma mater if you drop out? I know they consider me an alumna, regardless.

Probably because so many, many people wash out of the grinding hell-machine that is art school.

May 12, 2008 — 7:19 am
Comments: 49