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Goodbye, Mister Clean

house peters, mr the original mister clean

In an effort to help McGoo scrub Barney Frank off his eyeballs before his manly bits run away from home, I give you — House Peters, Jr. Peters died in the night. He was 92.

He starred in a fair bit of movie and TV between 1930-something and 1960-something, but he will be forever remembered as the original Mr. Clean.

Was he the one that came whooshing out of the bottle when you opened it, like a big, bald genie? Must be; how else would you explain a dude with an earring in 1958? Or am I confusing him with the White Tornado…?

The world of unconvincing early advertising mascots reels from another blow. First Mrs Olson, then the Maytag repairman, then Madge, then Mr Whipple. Now this. I may never buy stupid household shit for no good reason again.

October 2, 2008 — 3:01 pm
Comments: 36

I am totally, completely serial

edentulous barney frank

I hate myself for asking this question. But…I can’t bear the burden of it all by myself. DOES BARNEY FRANK HAVE ANY TEETH? Check it — I’m seven pages into a Google images search, and I see NO evidence!

It would explain why his speech is so completely incomprehensible, I guess. What the hell? Dude can afford dentures or implants or something, surely…? What kind of person goes around without teeth? On camera? Representing his state and his country?

Why have I never noticed this? Why hasn’t anyone mentioned it?

Okay…I really, really regret asking this next question. I’m not sure I even want to know the answer. This isn’t related to his…lifestyle choices, is it?

UPDATE: ZOMG! Incoming LGFalanche. That thing in the picture in the upper right corner? Not lower teeth: tongue. You can tell in the color picture, because it’s pink.

There! First thing Monday morning, and I got you thinking about Barney Frank’s little pink tongue. And you thought the bailout was distasteful! (You’re welcome).

— 1:48 pm
Comments: 57


Ifill questions why people assume that her book will be favorable toward Obama.

“Do you think they made the same assumptions about Lou Cannon (who is white) when he wrote his book about Reagan?” said Ifill, who is black. Asked if there were racial motives at play, she said, “I don’t know what it is. I find it curious.”

Okay, let’s walk down the list, shall we?

▓ Ifill wrote a vomitously saccharine puff piece about Obama in Essence magazine. (Warning: Barack holds Michelle in his arms and sings. Can you take that, sunshine?).

▓ She covered Palin’s convention speech like she was sucking a lemon.

▓ She’s writing a book titled “The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama.”

▓ It’s set to be released on Inauguration Day — hence, she stands to make substantially more money if Obama is elected than if he is not.

▓ She’s moderating tonight’s Vice Presidential debates.

▓ If you think there’s anything wrong with that, the AP thinks you’re racist.

This election makes me feel like I took the crazy bus to Crazytown.

— 7:32 am
Comments: 57