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Good times, good times

I bought this teapot at a country show on the day after the Brexit vote. I overpaid for it, but it seemed like a thing I should buy. It’s a WWII relic celebrating victory over Hitlerism (that’s what it says on the teapot). There was a quiet electricity on the grounds that day. Brexit may yet be torpedoed by the forces of…bureaucracy and civil service, but on that day it was fine and hot.

Christmas carries on apace. We just got a phone call from the butcher in town saying our turkey was not delivered. We had ordered an unusual variety, you see. But he’s happy to substitute one of a different variety, so there will be Christmas dinner.

One year, we had a goose. That kind of sucked, to be honest.

December 21, 2017 — 8:00 pm
Comments: 23

Purty boy

I just like this picture. Yes, it’s my hand in the glove that holds the hawk. And yes, he eventually did calm down and pose prettily, but he looks awesome here and I didn’t lose an eye or anything.

I said indolence, but the litterbox still needs emptying and the trash man still comes Wednesdays and life goes on. I reckon I’ve done exactly what I wanted to do only about 95% of the time today.

December 20, 2017 — 9:26 pm
Comments: 14

Remembering the fallen

Ah, yes. We lost Violence chicken and her nest-mate Vita in early 2017, a month apart. Pour one out for two of my favorite birds, gone to join the celestial flock in the heavenly coop.

I am now finished. Finito. Caput. But not like poor Violence here. I’m officially off work until the new year. Whooopeeee!

December 19, 2017 — 8:55 pm
Comments: 15

I’m here! I’m here!

Whew! I didn’t think you’d see me tonight. We switched ISP’s and Company A dropped us before Company B picked us up, so we’ve been internetless all day.

You don’t realize how much stuff in the house relies on the wifi network until you ain’t got one.

We’re all sorted. Now I can treat you to low-effort shit-posts I have planned for the holidays.

I have one more day of work, and then it’s off until January 2. I have promised myself two weeks of indolence and gluttony.

But I couldn’t neglect you, my imaginary friends who live in the computer. Not at Christmas. So I figured I’d repost some of my favorite images from 2017.

Let’s start with this one from January 11, showing our Home Secretary (and local MP) Amber Rudd getting her heel caught in a street grating. I thought it would make Uncle B smile.

I haven’t looked ahead, but I feel sure I can find enough to make it to 2018. Talk about anything you like in the comments, though.

December 18, 2017 — 9:48 pm
Comments: 14

Dead Pool 105: Merry Ho Ho Edition

Carl notches up another corpse with Max Clifford. Clifford, if you never heard of ‘im, was a famous British publicist of the more-than-usually slimy kind.

This was a bit of a windfall, Carl: famous enough in Britain that I would definitely take him, but probably unknown to most of my readership. I suspect there are one or two out there waiting to pull Carl’s Gambit in case of bigger names.

And what could say Merry Christmas like speculating on the death of famous people who still walk among us? I ask you!

Right! Everybody got your eggynog and candycanes?

Then we’ll begin…

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

December 15, 2017 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 79

Here it comes…


Sorry I’m late tonight. I should have posted before we went out. Please enjoy this crappy cellphone photo of Steeleye Span. The white blob in the middle is Maddy Prior. We have decided this enjoyable gig will officially kickoff Christmas 2017.

Tree and lights tomorrow. We haven’t done it yet. Also, I haven’t decided how much time to take off.

Oh, yes — I’m calling the Dead Pool for Carl. He won with Max Clifford using the Carl Gambit. I’ve lost track of his body count; I hope he’s putting notches on the side of his monitor.

So, back here tomorrow for DEAD POOL ROUND BLAH BLAH BLAH. I forget which. Hunnert and something. I’ll look it up tomorrow. Night, folks!

December 14, 2017 — 11:02 pm
Comments: 16

Oh yes, please!


Probably too late for this year, but here’s one for your aspirational shopping needs: Miss Havisham’s Curiosities. They do gift cards.

It’s an LA based artist/shop. Lots of genuinely vintage items, but the best are these custom teacups and saucers. Very nice bone china, lovely antique patterns and inspirational slogans like “please, go die” and “we hate your baby.”

Not cheap, naturally, but worth it.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I too got the Windows 10 Fall Creators’ Update yesterday and my computer is a mess *sad face*.

December 13, 2017 — 9:35 pm
Comments: 3

A very Amazon Christmas


And now begins the Amazon ritual. Honestly, I’m grateful — if it weren’t for mail order in general and Amazon in particular, I’d be stuck for shopping. We have Prime this year, even better.

But holy shit do I hate Amazon reviews. Everything is one or five. Why is nothing ever “three stars. Did the job, but not very exciting”?

Naturally, I check out the one stars first and it’s always, like, “do not buy! Very cheap! The lid broke first time I used it, and the replacement lid was broken in the mail. I complained to the manufacturer who told me I was fat and stupid and my baby was ugly.” Followed by fifty people who think it was the awesomest thing in the history of awesome.

What am I supposed to do with this information? Buy some sucky no-name Chinese knockoff that nobody has reviewed, that’s what!

I’m still working on the bits and pieces. Are you done?

December 12, 2017 — 10:29 pm
Comments: 17

It snew!


I biked in in the snow. That was fun. And then home. That was funner. And then genius here says, “hey, why don’t we do our weekly grocery shopping?”

See, where we are, it had all burned off by then. Where we were going, not so much. Who knew? It was slushy and slippery and awful almost the whole way.

British stores have decided if they don’t do anything about snow in the parking lots, we can’t sue them for not doing a very good job when we fall and break our asses (thank you, American litigious culture, for spreading misery around the Western world). Not kidding, the slush was over my ankles in the parking lot. My sneakers leak.

It wasn’t very much snow at all, but like all places that don’t get snow very often, everyone lost their freaking minds.

Oh well. Made it home. Warm and dry. Almost gin o’clock. How was your Monday?

December 11, 2017 — 10:46 pm
Comments: 11



Hey, lady, what’re you doing Friday night?

Backing up, of course!

I’m really awful at backups, but my computer refused to boot three times this morning and I think I need to face the fact it’s probably on its way out. No complaints, it’s nearly eight years old, but it took Windows 10 pretty hard.

I always buy as much computer as I can possibly afford, so this one’s going to hurt. Just hang on until after Christmas please, honey.

Good weekend, folx!

December 8, 2017 — 9:27 pm
Comments: 12