Thanks bro
Uncle B sent me this. He was particularly pleased there was a badger behind the counter. The one he sent had been shared so many times, though, it was falling to bits, so I set out to find a source copy.
And voilà. The artist is a greeting card illustrator named Bestie, and here he is tweeting this image in 2017 to announce its release in a limited 25th anniversary edition. So I guess it was popular. Huh.
Meanwhile, I’ve answered the most pressing question of the holiday season: cowboy or Viking? Yes, both Red Dead Redemption II and Assassin’s Creed Valhalla were 50% off in the game sales this week.
I chose cowboy. I’m really much more into Vikings and Medieval England, but from what I can tell, the game is about the Viking invasion of England and the English are the bad guys. That seemed a tad…disloyal.
Eh. I’ll pick it up in the Spring sale.
Here comes Christmas! Duck!
December 20, 2021 — 6:49 pm
Comments: 12
The saga of Jorts the cat
I linked to this in the previous thread, but it might be slightly easier to read in text. This is a Reddit thread in the AITA (Am I the Asshole?) subreddit. It’s long, but funny. Well, I found it funny.
AITA for “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes” about Jorts?
THE STORY We have two workplace cats in one area of our worksite. They add value to the worksite, we all love the cats and the worksite cat presence is not the issue. One of the cats (Jean) is a tortoiseshell cat we have had for years. The other cat (Jorts) is a large orange cat and a recent addition.
Jorts is just… kind of a simple guy. For example, Jorts can’t open a door even when it’s ajar— he shoves it whether he is going in or out, so often he closes the door he is trying to go through. This means he is often trapped inside the place he was trying to exit and meows until he is rescued.
My colleague Pam (not her real name) has been spending a lot of time trying to teach Jorts things. The doors thing is the main example — it’s a real issue because the cats are fed in a closet and Jorts keeps pushing the door closed. Jean can actually open all the other interior doors since they are a lever type knob, but she can’t open this particular door if she is trapped INSIDE the closet.
Tortie Jean is very nice to poor orange Jorts, and she is kept busy letting him out of rooms he has trapped himself in, so this seems easy to resolve. I put down a door stop.
Pam then said I was depriving Jorts of the “chance to learn” and kept removing the doorstop. She set up a series of special learning activities for Jorts, and tried to put these tasks on the whiteboard of daily team tasks (I erased them). She thinks we need to teach him how to clean himself better and how to get out of minor barriers like when he gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. I love Jorts but he’s just dumb af and we can’t change that.
Don’t get me wrong— watching her try to teach Jorts how to walk through a door is hilarious, but Jean got locked in the closet twice last week. Yesterday I installed a cat cutout thing in the door and Pam started getting really huffy. I made a gentle joke about “you can’t expect Jean’s tortoiseshell smarts from orange cat Jorts” which made Pam FURIOUS. She started crying and left the hallway, then sent an email to the group (including volunteers) and went home early.
In her email Pam said I was “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes by saying orange cats are dumb” and is demanding a racial sensitivity training before she will return. I don’t think it’s relevant but just in case, Pam is a white person in a mostly minority staff (and no she is not ginger/does not have red hair).
TL;DR: AITA for ‘enforcing an ethnic stereotype’ by joking that orange cats are often dumb?
And the follow-up
Thanks for responding to my query which had truly upset me. I work to have a good relationship with my team and the situation had gotten weird so gradually that I lost perspective.
I just met with HR, she had already met with Pam. HR was concerned about Pam’s comparing ethnic stereotypes with giving a cat a doorstop and they addressed that which went well. HR will follow up to make sure Pam understands. (The replies to my query were helpful to me for this discussion.)
HR also addressed Pam assigning other staff Jorts-related tutoring, as it is not appropriate for Pam to assign others work. This also went well.
We both think Pam had a hard time with the transition from volunteer to staff, and may have “new kid” sensitivity projected to Jorts. Pam got emotional about her perception that I favor Jean over Jorts and gave specific examples. Some of these things are fair. Jorts deserves respect as a member of our team.
There are 3 buildings in our workplace. Jean and Jorts are limited to one. HR told me there were 5 holdouts about vaccines, and restricting unvaccinated people from entering the building (to protect Jean and Jorts) was enough to win over 4 of them. That’s CRAZY, but great.
More importantly: the cats’ presence greatly enhances our work with our clients, and Jorts’ friendly nature has been so great. Both cats truly are doing important work. Truly Jorts deserves to be treated with respect.
We all deserve to be treated with dignity at work, so I will apologize to Jorts about some things that were insensitive or disrespectful.
a. Jean has a nice cat bed with her name on it, while Jorts has chosen an old boot tray in my office with a towel in it. Recently a visitor put wet boots in the boot tray and Pam saw Jorts sleeping on the wet boots. I bought a bed for Jorts today and a name tag has been ordered.
b. I will apologize to Jorts and remove the sign saying “DAYS SINCE JORTS HAD A TRASH CAN MISHAP: 0” Jorts likes to fish dirty paper cups out and he often falls into the bin or gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. (He is able to get out of the bin by tipping it over so it isn’t a safety issue.)
c. Jean’s “staff bio” has a photo of Jean, while Jorts’ bio has a photo of a sweet potato. I did not actually know either cat had a staff bio, but we will use a photo of Jorts instead of a sweet potato.
HR also suggested changing Pam’s duties so she is “in charge” of the cats. This I refused, the cats are my staff, not Pam’s. I think Pam was well-intended but actually not meeting the needs of either Jean or Jorts so they remain under my supervision. (Pam is also not to put cups on Jorts’ head or intentionally put him into frustrating situations given his unique needs.)
Lastly, and this made us both laugh so hard we can’t deal with it in person and will be said via email: Pam admits that she has been putting margarine on Jorts in an attempt to teach him to groom himself better. This may explain the diarrhea problem Jean developed (which required a vet visit).
Pam is NOT to apply margarine to any of her coworkers. Jean has shown she is willing to be in charge of helping Jorts stay clean. If this task becomes onerous for Jean, we can have a groomer help. I am crying laughing typing this.
Have a good weekend, everyone! Next week will be short and sweet.
December 17, 2021 — 6:31 pm
Comments: 8
Zzzzzzz…
I’m’a level you – I’m slumped in the comfy chair in the other room staring at this screen and I have no intention of moving until Gin O’clock. That ain’t even my cat – I don’t know where I stole that picture from ages ago, but I like it. I think I’ll watch it a while.
December 16, 2021 — 7:55 pm
Comments: 8
That was disgusting, she said cheerfully
Our friend very much likes poppy seeds. And peanut butter, naturally: he ate every drop of it in plastic jars and even, somehow, managed to work the metal lid off of a glass jar. Bread crumbs, baking soda. He didn’t eat salt but he chewed through a number of packets of expensive sea salt and then walked through it.
He gnawed tiny holes in several plastic containers of cooking oil, so they didn’t leak until they were picked up, and then they squirted streams.
To be fair, an awful lot of the things I threw out were just way, way out of date. I haven’t gone right to the back of those cabinets since we moved in. I’m distressed by how many had very rusty lids. It doesn’t feel all that damp in our kitchen, but it must be.
Or maybe it’s just England.
December 15, 2021 — 8:26 pm
Comments: 7
The bastard made a vinaigrette!
It’s no surprise in a house as old as this that we have a seasonal rodent problem. It’s full of holes and hollow places.
We had the county ratman come out to the house not long after we moved in and he told us many and interesting things about rats. Then he flung blocks of poison all over the attics and crawl spaces. For many years afterwards, we had a Christmas tradition of smelly dead rat under the master bedroom floorboards.
The poison must’ve worn off or been consumed because we’ve got some active squeakers at the moment, especially banging around in the kitchen cabinets.
Last night, I smelled the pungent stink of vinegar, opened the cabinets to discover he’d chewed his way through the base of a plastic bottle of malt vinegar. Also through a bottle of spray olive oil. The bastard made a vinaigrette on my kitchen floor!
Cleaning that up, I discovered this lickety-clean peanut butter jar. The lid must have been plastic – it done vanished entirely!
I don’t work Wednesdays. Tomorrow I shall put on the moon suit and see what awaits me deep in the cabinets.
December 14, 2021 — 7:55 pm
Comments: 8
Our tree is always cat-heavy
It also features mice, the occasional chicken and a cow. Our tree is not tasteful.
Yay, we decorated this weekend! We splashed out a few extra pounds for a blue spruce, which smelled wonderful when we got it home. Not so strong now. Our quest for a smelly tree continues.
It’s purty, though.
Also, Uncle B went a little nuts with battery and solar powered lights out front, in protest of how dark and dour our neighbourhood is this year.
The celebrations won’t really begin until next week, but we thought we’d get a jump on the decorations.
p.s. I had this thought. What if trees aren’t smelly any more because we use cool LED lights and not those dangerous hot old bulbs?
December 13, 2021 — 8:05 pm
Comments: 10
Dead Pool Round 147: it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
BullDawgGuy takes another one with Bob Dole.
Good old Bob Dole. Just think: he probably lost to Clinton because Dole was regarded as too old at 73. That’s like the median age for megalomaniac pols these days. Nancy Pelosi has panties older than 73.
It’s cold and I have a hot water bottle with my name on it, so let’s get down to business, shall we? On your mark…
0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.
1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).
2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.
3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.
4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.
5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.
6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.
7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.
8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.
The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.
December 10, 2021 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 49
The village geese
Sorry I’m late. We ran into traffic.
Psych! I’m late because I fell asleep in my chair. But we were delayed getting home today because of this flock of village geese. They apparently round out their day having a drink and a splash out of the potholes in this access road.
By the time we got back, my daytime free-ranging cockerel was snoozing in a tree and had to be plucked to safety. He’s even dumber when he’s sleepy.
Tomorrow! 6 WBT! Dead Pool Round 147!
Be here or be at home soaking your cranky chicken in a bucket of warm soapy water!
December 9, 2021 — 8:42 pm
Comments: 3
Does she look happy to you?
A discussion of “mad as a wet hen” appears in the previous thread, so I had to dig out a picture. This is Mapp chicken in 2012, wet. I don’t know about mad, but she ain’t happy.
My lot *will* go out in the rain (especially the Polands) and get thoroughly soaked. Anything is better than being cooped up. But chickens famously will drown if they fall into water and scoot if water is sprayed at them (handy for hostile cockerels).
In fact, I’ve heard more than once that a chicken that falls into water will die even if it’s rescued in time. I don’t know if that’s an old chicken-keeper’s tale.
You can, however, wash a chicken in warm soapy water and give it a blow dry. People do it before shows. Then they put Vaseline on their combs and wattles to make ’em specially red and on their legs to make them…shiny, I guess.
Chicken keepers, eh?
Mapp here is not preparing for a show. Mapp was the tragic victim of a novice chicken keeper: me. Her first Summer as an adult, she abruptly stopped laying and sat on the nest all day looking miserable.
Turns out, she was just broody. Broody hens stop laying eggs. She went broody every Summer for the rest of her damn life (and she lived to be eight, which is good going for a bantam). I didn’t get many omelettes out of this old girl.
But I decided, in my ignorance, that she must be egg bound. Getting an egg stuck in your egg chute can be fatal, so I did panicky things like soak her in a bucket of warm soapy water for an hour, to no avail.
I don’t even want to talk about what I did with the olive oil.
December 8, 2021 — 8:00 pm
Comments: 10
Blowhard
Phew! Storm Barra whistled through earlier. High winds and heavy rain. It blew the roof off the chicken house.
Not quite as dramatic as it sounds. The roof is made to open up so you can clean inside, but it opened it up and tore one side off the hinges. Really awkward to make a temporary fix, so I stood in the wind and held it down for a while until I could find a log with a branch sticking out one side that would put weight on both sides. I got *soaked*.
“Barra” you ask? Well, I asked. It’s an Irish Gaelic boy’s name meaning “fair haired”.
Not a great name for a destructive storm. I have a feeling there’s a bit of forced diversity going on here. But, hey, it’s diverse kinds of white people, so I guess it’s got novelty going for it.
December 7, 2021 — 8:09 pm
Comments: 7