Auntie Weasel's Litterbox

Whenever you visit a web site, you give that site's server a bit of information about yourself. Your IP address, what browser and operating system you use, which page was the first you looked at or the last you looked at. If you arrived at the site by clicking a link, the server records the site that hosted the link. If you found the site through a search, it records the search engine and the phrase you plugged into it. It's all dumped into a big log file that can be tweazed apart and analyzed using a variety of log analyzer tweazer thingies. Studying this information helps webmasters better their websites.

Except for unserious webmasters, who study the information to laugh at users cruelly. Everyone who analyzes logs occasionally finds strange and delightful search phrases that arise when the engine finds unrelated words from different parts of the site, words which somehow found themselves bizarrely side-by-side in someone's search criteria.

Some people write whole sentences. This can sometimes be a good search strategy, particularly if you compose it as an answer rather than a question, because that very combination of words may be the obvious way to phrase the answer. But I get the feeling these users are chatting with the internet. You imagine them burning joss sticks before their monitors when they present their petition.

The one word searches are most strange. Seriously, what do people expect Google to tell them when they type in a single word — like "sunshine" — and what on earth made them think Auntie was the answer to that question? And how many hundreds of pages come up before Auntie? It boggles the mind. I have yet to work out how many pages of search you have to go through before this place is suggested for "weasel," but I got 25 pages in before I got bored and distracted by all the pretty woats and steasels.

I started saving log analyses in February, 2004, and my log files include information from other, businessy sites I host (that's right...there are people who let Auntie within miles of their businesses), but it's pretty easy to tell which hits are mine. Enjoy some of my very favoritest Google search terms - some because they are so very silly, some because I truly don't understand how they led to me, and some because I'm so gosh-darn proud when people turn to me first for information about moonshine, mayonnaise and wicky-wacky-woo. With dupes removed (that's right...some of these words turn up month after month, time and again), they are...

February, 2004

manuscript
ausgerechnet bananen frank silver
wicky-wacky-woo
can i but the ingredients in a market 
     to make moonshine
chinese restaurant supply
chipmunk
female gladiator
highwaymen of the 17 and 1800's
hot mustard sinuses
how to make a thump keg
if you like ukulele lady
making my own vampire web page
masks
mayonnaise and recipe and oil and water 
     and egg and vinegar and
mustard enzymes
my god persian women are gorgeous  
my habits
personal adult home web page
wacky woo
weasel's characteristics
wing yip chinese

March, 2004

snowflake
painting clouds
penicillin moldy
emulsion: mayonnaise
hottentot
necklace
brochure design anglo
creature great greek half-deity hero
erotic films of the 1920's
etchasketch metal aluminum
habits
horror films
hotdog mustard
how far to the nearest star
how to make commercial mayonnaise
i like pie i like cake
moldy veg
my habits
personal web site photo erotic
she has lied to me
she lied to me
she told me she loved me but she lied
ten happy fingers
water surface tension milk vinegar oil
òàíèò ëè

April, 2004

bananas
how do weasel look
marilyn
auntie weasel
crybaby
tiptoe
a man lay down by the sewer
banana string lights
cry girl
do tulips have a stigma
e-rotic official web page
hottentot
izzy
lied to me
markessa of france
morning
my best thanks to all of 
     you in a official conference
my own web site of me
no honions
painting clouds
rain
she lied to me
song prune song
spell mother
www.whose who.com
ƒ^ƒjƒx?@ƒŠ?[
Ð¢Ð°Ð½Ð¸Ñ‚ Ð›Ð¸

May, 2004

howard johnson
weasel field
weasel mouse
gold diggers
gummbinsky
lied to me
mages in training
weasel auntie
whatever happened to web site
ï¼¬ï½…ï½… ï¼´ï½?ï½Žï½‰ï½”ï½ˆ

Are those weird characters what ASCII makes of Chinese or Arabic?

June, 2004

moldy mouse
baby blues
how to tune a uke
little girl
mayonnaise surface surfactant
motorola startac st7868w display error
motorola t730c wet
pig uterus chinese recipe
rat god
ten minute monologue
unusual web site creation
weasel's the animal

Man, I always feel bad when someone hits this site looking for helpful technical information about his cell phone. Hahaha! NOT!

July, 2004

200 proof best moonshine
art class naked men
butter boils at
greek headresses
shelied

Look, dude, she lied to you. It happens. Get over it already.

August, 2004

chifforobe
isi cream
weasel's cousin
brittania trident image
cooking pig uterus
margarine-surfactant
marriage wÃ¼rttemberg tax florin
motorola t730c
overlook
phrygian smurfs -wikipedia
pig uterus recipes

For the record, I've gone 360 sites into a Google search on pig uterus recipes without finding myself. Somebody was looking really hard. And, no, I haven't got one.

September, 2004

a penny for your thoughts proposed 
     composition of penny zinc an
break a penny--
britishpence
cult films
halfpence
raw chicken
scavenger's daughter

The scavenger's daughter is a medieval torture device that fits around a crouching person and squeezes him — sort of an anti-rack. I knew this, but I've never written about it. You reckon Google's spidering my head?

October, 2004

normal masks
bad weasel
buying junk silver
cow brand butter ghee
dolly
fat mary mary adelaide
longhand
microcephaly
symbolism of dimes
the surreal meaning of my name esther
weasel and symbolism

November, 2004

cooked cat
1800's diary covers
a wine cordial/ mustah
award winning commercial spaghetti sauces
christmas official site
incense filetype:gif
laboratory mice
motorola t730c
my web page beautiful lady
penny squishing machine
princess wiring western electric
solarsystem planets
taft- weasel
the mob like fat people
world flora official website

Cooked cat showed up twice, and again in December. And, no, I don't have that recipe, either.

December, 2004

chinese mustard
forster weasel
girlies
god interest in mankind
home plans
homer simpson pie songs
i've got to get rid of this stuff!
intrinsically funny words
oui oui oui all the way home
rhymes with underwear
roman gods list mid winter festival
seducer of women
she told me she loved me but how she lied
thing on the tails side of the dime
toyota sketchbook
weasel symbolism

Any poor bastard coming to me to learn more about god's interest in mankind is in a world of hurt. All I can say is: rhymes with underwear. That's right: despair!

See you in the new year. Remember, Googlies — Auntie's watching!

	Google search terms 2004 Put to bed Friday, April 01, 2005
	Whenever you visit a web site, you give that site's server a bit of information about yourself. Your IP address, what browser and operating system you use, which page was the first you looked at or the last you looked at. If you arrived at the site by clicking a link, the server records the site that hosted the link. If you found the site through a search, it records the search engine and the phrase you plugged into it. It's all dumped into a big log file that can be tweazed apart and analyzed using a variety of log analyzer tweazer thingies. Studying this information helps webmasters better their websites. Except for unserious webmasters, who study the information to laugh at users cruelly. Everyone who analyzes logs occasionally finds strange and delightful search phrases that arise when the engine finds unrelated words from different parts of the site, words which somehow found themselves bizarrely side-by-side in someone's search criteria. Some people write whole sentences. This can sometimes be a good search strategy, particularly if you compose it as an answer rather than a question, because that very combination of words may be the obvious way to phrase the answer. But I get the feeling these users are chatting with the internet. You imagine them burning joss sticks before their monitors when they present their petition. The one word searches are most strange. Seriously, what do people expect Google to tell them when they type in a single word — like "sunshine" — and what on earth made them think Auntie was the answer to that question? And how many hundreds of pages come up before Auntie? It boggles the mind. I have yet to work out how many pages of search you have to go through before this place is suggested for "weasel," but I got 25 pages in before I got bored and distracted by all the pretty woats and steasels. I started saving log analyses in February, 2004, and my log files include information from other, businessy sites I host (that's right...there are people who let Auntie within miles of their businesses), but it's pretty easy to tell which hits are mine. Enjoy some of my very favoritest Google search terms - some because they are so very silly, some because I truly don't understand how they led to me, and some because I'm so gosh-darn proud when people turn to me first for information about moonshine, mayonnaise and wicky-wacky-woo. With dupes removed (that's right...some of these words turn up month after month, time and again), they are... RUNNING TOTALS. Googlers who turned to Auntie for advice on... making moonshine: 43 weasel: 93 Lyrics to... Yes, We Have No Bananas: 73 Tiptoe Through the Tulips: 77 February, 2004 manuscript ausgerechnet bananen frank silver wicky-wacky-woo can i but the ingredients in a market to make moonshine chinese restaurant supply chipmunk female gladiator highwaymen of the 17 and 1800's hot mustard sinuses how to make a thump keg if you like ukulele lady making my own vampire web page masks mayonnaise and recipe and oil and water and egg and vinegar and mustard enzymes my god persian women are gorgeous my habits personal adult home web page wacky woo weasel's characteristics wing yip chinese March, 2004 snowflake painting clouds penicillin moldy emulsion: mayonnaise hottentot necklace brochure design anglo creature great greek half-deity hero erotic films of the 1920's etchasketch metal aluminum habits horror films hotdog mustard how far to the nearest star how to make commercial mayonnaise i like pie i like cake moldy veg my habits personal web site photo erotic she has lied to me she lied to me she told me she loved me but she lied ten happy fingers water surface tension milk vinegar oil òàíèò ëè April, 2004 bananas how do weasel look marilyn auntie weasel crybaby tiptoe a man lay down by the sewer banana string lights cry girl do tulips have a stigma e-rotic official web page hottentot izzy lied to me markessa of france morning my best thanks to all of you in a official conference my own web site of me no honions painting clouds rain she lied to me song prune song spell mother www.whose who.com ƒ^ƒjƒx?@ƒŠ?[ Ð¢Ð°Ð½Ð¸Ñ‚ Ð›Ð¸ May, 2004 howard johnson weasel field weasel mouse gold diggers gummbinsky lied to me mages in training weasel auntie whatever happened to web site ï¼¬ï½…ï½… ï¼´ï½?ï½Žï½‰ï½”ï½ˆ Are those weird characters what ASCII makes of Chinese or Arabic? June, 2004 moldy mouse baby blues how to tune a uke little girl mayonnaise surface surfactant motorola startac st7868w display error motorola t730c wet pig uterus chinese recipe rat god ten minute monologue unusual web site creation weasel's the animal Man, I always feel bad when someone hits this site looking for helpful technical information about his cell phone. Hahaha! NOT! July, 2004 200 proof best moonshine art class naked men butter boils at greek headresses shelied Look, dude, she lied to you. It happens. Get over it already. August, 2004 chifforobe isi cream weasel's cousin brittania trident image cooking pig uterus margarine-surfactant marriage wÃ¼rttemberg tax florin motorola t730c overlook phrygian smurfs -wikipedia pig uterus recipes For the record, I've gone 360 sites into a Google search on pig uterus recipes without finding myself. Somebody was looking really hard. And, no, I haven't got one. September, 2004 a penny for your thoughts proposed composition of penny zinc an break a penny-- britishpence cult films halfpence raw chicken scavenger's daughter The scavenger's daughter is a medieval torture device that fits around a crouching person and squeezes him — sort of an anti-rack. I knew this, but I've never written about it. You reckon Google's spidering my head? October, 2004 normal masks bad weasel buying junk silver cow brand butter ghee dolly fat mary mary adelaide longhand microcephaly symbolism of dimes the surreal meaning of my name esther weasel and symbolism November, 2004 cooked cat 1800's diary covers a wine cordial/ mustah award winning commercial spaghetti sauces christmas official site incense filetype:gif laboratory mice motorola t730c my web page beautiful lady penny squishing machine princess wiring western electric solarsystem planets taft- weasel the mob like fat people world flora official website Cooked cat showed up twice, and again in December. And, no, I don't have that recipe, either. December, 2004 chinese mustard forster weasel girlies god interest in mankind home plans homer simpson pie songs i've got to get rid of this stuff! intrinsically funny words oui oui oui all the way home rhymes with underwear roman gods list mid winter festival seducer of women she told me she loved me but how she lied thing on the tails side of the dime toyota sketchbook weasel symbolism Any poor bastard coming to me to learn more about god's interest in mankind is in a world of hurt. All I can say is: rhymes with underwear. That's right: despair! See you in the new year. Remember, Googlies — Auntie's watching!