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Round 19: bring out your dead!

Well, that was a long one. Congratulations to thefritz, who took the prize with Dolores Hope. Wow. Sixty nine years is a looooooong time to be married. (You know how to claim your rightful dick, thefritz).

Right. Remember how this works?

0. Rule Zero is also known as Steve’s Rule. Your pick? Has to be alive when you pick him or her. Also, nobody on Death Row.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you don’t want the fabulous prize, you’re too smart to be a regular. It takes me forever to put them in the mail, packages go by slow boat, typically take minimum eight to ten weeks and lose the will to live along the way.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The fabulous prize? Sweet, sweet Spotted Dick! There’s no dick like Aunty’s dick!


Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:00 pm

Here’s hoping: Ayman al-Zawahiri – May he rest in pieces (lots of little, little, tiny pieces).

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:01 pm

David Rockefeller

I fervently hope I win the dick when TPTB = TPTB-1

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:02 pm

As always, I’m prayin’ for The One with a bunch of his toadies in the Situation Room. And I’ll stay with the Mossad as the entity that exacts justice. With any luck, they’ll take out a whole bunch of his enablers with him as well!

Oh Lord, hear my prayer!

Comment from Mitchell
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:03 pm

2nd! Jimmeh Carter. Come on, kick off you evil, old, tyrant-loving, Jew-hating, terrorist kissing bastard.

Comment from JC
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:03 pm

Switching from Dicks, I’m taking Jacques Barzun, the philisopher and historian. A good Texan, and over 100

Comment from Mitchell
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:05 pm

Ok, in the top 5 anyway. You gotta pull the trigger quick in Aunty’s dead pool.

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:05 pm

Note that I will defer to Mitchell if that is NOT done by the Mossad, or if they don’t successfully exterminate at least TWO of his toadies in the process.

Or even if it isn’t done in the Situation Room…

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:08 pm

@Mark Matis – The uncertainty here is that if Mossad does pull it off they will quite likely set up some other [entity] as a fall guy. How will we ever know? (-:

Comment from Bob Mulroy
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:20 pm

I’m going with Yemen’s President Ali Abduallah Saleh.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:25 pm

former Egyptian president mubarak for the beheading

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:32 pm

Uncle Al:

I expect that this is one they’ll be GLAD to have everyone know who dunnit.

Comment from Lipstick
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:32 pm

Khadaffi, or however you spell his name.

Comment from J Foster
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:32 pm

*Grumbles* wasn’t fast enough to snag Gadhaffi. I’ll take John McCain for no apparent reason.

Comment from Gromulin
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:34 pm

Fidel Castro

Comment from Uncle Al
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:38 pm

I’m surprised Hugo Chavez is still up for grabs, what with his well-deserved and highly appropriate malignancy.

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:39 pm

Hey Scooby:
While he isn’t exactly on Death Row per se, with Islamic “justice” there isn’t much difference. You might want to request an advance ruling from her Stoatiness on that one…

Comment from Veeshir
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:43 pm

Not rooting for it mind you, but for some reason I thought of Harry Morgan.
Of course, I would like to have had Gaydaffy, but I snoozed I losed.

Comment from dustoffmom
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:44 pm

Nope….ya’ll didn’t drive me away and I will go with my regular selection of Dick Cheney.

Comment from Mr. Matamoros
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:49 pm

Once again, I’m gonna pick America’s oldest teenager – Dick Clark

Comment from some vegetable
Time: September 23, 2011, 6:52 pm

Lindsey Lohan since she’s the closest thing America has to Amy Winestein. I’m tired of waiting for Larry King.

l’ve decided that the Devil is afraid of having to suffer eternal boredom. I mean suffering eternal damnation is one thing but …

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 23, 2011, 7:06 pm

Nah, I’ll accept Scoob’s pick of Mubarak. The sort of Death Row I meant to exclude is the kind where they have you in a cell and they’ve fixed the date.

Comment from Amaryllis
Time: September 23, 2011, 7:18 pm

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad – wishful thinking!

Comment from USCitizen
Time: September 23, 2011, 7:22 pm

Charlie Sheen … of unexpected causes

Comment from Mono The Elderish
Time: September 23, 2011, 7:34 pm

Rosa Muhammad

Comment from Montenegro
Time: September 23, 2011, 7:37 pm

I’m going to take the famous Ernest Borgnine. I know I stole this from someone, sorry!

Comment from Mono The Elderish
Time: September 23, 2011, 7:40 pm

Whoops thats RUBY muhammad. Silly internets

Comment from JeffS
Time: September 23, 2011, 7:41 pm

Al Gore. For the polar bears.

Comment from Malcolm Kirkpatrick
Time: September 23, 2011, 7:55 pm

I wish him well. May he live to 100. Earl Scruggs.

Comment from James
Time: September 23, 2011, 8:08 pm

I’ll pick Mugabe again.

Comment from 16920502
Time: September 23, 2011, 8:10 pm

Nancy Reagan

Comment from weaselwannabe
Time: September 23, 2011, 8:10 pm

Adam Gadahn – the American spokes-hole for AQ, hopefully via a Hellfire missile right in his pie hole! But any orifice will do…

Comment from Cranch
Time: September 23, 2011, 8:15 pm

Eli Wallach. 95 years old but dude was in two movies last year so not holding my breath.

Comment from Allen
Time: September 23, 2011, 8:25 pm

Bashar Assad. in a tragic accident, which will allow for “reform” in Syria.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 23, 2011, 8:47 pm

Hahaha…cool! The spam filter popped Oceania’s last missive into quarantine all by itself, without any prompting.

It was a long one, too.

Dude, I’d’ve cut it loose for you if you could’ve kept a tighter control on your mouth. Sad to see all that effort wasted.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: September 23, 2011, 8:47 pm

Besides, I’ve been riding that pony for the last 3 dead pools already……

He’s lame, but the jury hasn’t OFFICIALLY convicted him yet….

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: September 23, 2011, 9:16 pm

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Are my noob roots showing with this choice?

Comment from Bruno Braun
Time: September 23, 2011, 9:29 pm

Steve Jobs

Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: September 23, 2011, 9:34 pm

George Soros, for the DEATH!

Comment from zooomzooom
Time: September 23, 2011, 9:40 pm

James T Kirk, Cpt USS Enterprise

I didn’t know that William Shatner was 80 til today…..

Doesn’t look a day over 79.

Comment from Spad13
Time: September 23, 2011, 10:09 pm

Jerry Lewis. The telethon was all he had to live for.

Comment from ooGcM taobmaetS
Time: September 23, 2011, 10:26 pm

Clint Eastwood. And – yes – I feel lucky, punk!

Comment from EZnSF
Time: September 23, 2011, 10:49 pm

Bob Barker. He’s an animal hoarder, will be found half eaten by his french poodle pack.

Comment from Scubafreak
Time: September 23, 2011, 10:51 pm

Someone should take Oceania, from a sexually transmitted case of Scrappie…… 😉

Comment from Patrick
Time: September 23, 2011, 10:53 pm

Michael Moore, off the leftover ham sandwich that got Mama Cass.

Comment from Grizzly
Time: September 23, 2011, 10:57 pm

Frank Lautenberg – Senator from NJ and oldest serving senator. His term’s gotta be over soon…

Comment from me
Time: September 23, 2011, 11:00 pm

Sen Lautenberg

Comment from Janna
Time: September 23, 2011, 11:12 pm

Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: September 23, 2011, 11:12 pm

I’m taking that old bastid congress critter from Michigan, John Dingell, who explained that, “It takes time to control the people.” But then again, he has exempted himself from Hell Care, so he could outlive us all.

Comment from PatAZ
Time: September 23, 2011, 11:16 pm

Since “some vegetable” doesn’t want Larry King, I will bite. One of those young chicks will do him in eventually.

Comment from Cobrakai99
Time: September 23, 2011, 11:24 pm

As Uncle Al pointed out Hugo is still available. I will stick with my usual pick going for another round of Chemo in the workker’s paradise of cuba. Hugo Chavez is all mine.

Comment from Joan of Argghh!
Time: September 23, 2011, 11:56 pm

What? No Abe Vigoda?

Fine. I’ll take him. But I won’t be happy about it.

That website cracks me up.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 24, 2011, 12:12 am

I’m Picking …

The United States of America

Yes Folks. Come October.

Comment from Feynmangroupie
Time: September 24, 2011, 12:25 am


How can you prove it without a Death Certificate?

Comment from Scott Jacobs
Time: September 24, 2011, 12:51 am

I’ll take Luise Rainer…

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 24, 2011, 1:12 am

Or birth certificate for that matter 🙂

I’m going to stick my head out – and say Fiscal Crash.

Comment from pandelume
Time: September 24, 2011, 1:46 am

Pete Seeger – goodnight Irene!

Comment from Armybrat
Time: September 24, 2011, 2:28 am

I will leave Gordon brown for David giles….he makes me laugh with his expletive laced rants. I bow to the master of the English language! I’m changing it up this time and going for Bawney Fwank….please don’t make me declare the manner of death. We’ll all be happier

Comment from David Gillies
Time: September 24, 2011, 3:15 am

Thank ye armybrat, most kind. I have my nephew over from the UK and we have not had much time to do Dead Pool stuff. In fact we are broken husks. Put a strapping good-looking 26 year old lad in a bar with cheap beer and a plethora of extremely good-looking young women and I was half afraid I was going to have to sleep with my pillow over my head. He restrained himself. There were a couple that took a real shine to him. He’s here for another week going backpacking in the jungle, so I’m sure he’ll get plenty of chances, although they won’t smell as nice or be wearing cocktail dresses.

I’m surprised Gordon Brown is till with us. He should have crumbled into dust and blown away. Obviously the eldritch power that animates his sallow corpse is not fully defeated. Don’t these people know anything? That’s how we got two sequels to The Mummy.

Comment from mojo
Time: September 24, 2011, 3:44 am

Alan Alda, whom the omniscient Wikipedia has branded an American.

Apparently he’s still alive.

Comment from francis
Time: September 24, 2011, 3:45 am

I just saw vid of Mick Jagger, can’t believe he hasn’t been taken yet (“taken” in both senses: On this thread, or by the Reaper). The Stones lead singer turns 69 next summer; I’ll take the under on that bet.

Comment from mandel bread
Time: September 24, 2011, 5:54 am

Al “Muerto” Molinaro

Comment from xul
Time: September 24, 2011, 6:06 am

Dammit! Luise Rainer’s been pilfered! :::shakes fist at Scott Jacobs::: Okay then…I’ll take George Beverly Shea.

Comment from MIke C.
Time: September 24, 2011, 6:33 am

Hate to see him go, but “Doc” Watson.

Comment from thefritz
Time: September 24, 2011, 1:52 pm

When I told my wife this morning of my secret little pleasure, The Dead Pool, and that I won, she shook her head and mumbled something about “going to hell” Some people just don’t get it. Anyway…I’d like to donate my dick to science since it won’t be being enjoyed around here anytime soon.
Oh, my pick…The most Rev. Sun Young Moon.

Comment from Mark Matis
Time: September 24, 2011, 2:25 pm

Heh. Sounds like momma ain’t gonna be on the fritz for a while…


Comment from Argentium G. Tiger
Time: September 24, 2011, 2:38 pm

thefritz: The comeback to the “g’win to hell” accusation that my friend Thjalgrimr has: “I know, at this point I’m trying to get upgraded to a Suite.”

I mean if you’re gonna step off with the little lady, step off large. 🙂

Comment from Ripley
Time: September 24, 2011, 3:19 pm

Olivia de Hallivand. But I hope I lose.

She has a new memoir coming out as well.

Comment from Mrs Compton
Time: September 24, 2011, 3:21 pm

I’ll take my beloved Maggie Thatcher.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 24, 2011, 4:02 pm

Oh, c’mon, thefritz — once she tastes this delicious suet pudding, your wife will totally change her mind about dick!

Comment from harbqll
Time: September 24, 2011, 5:03 pm

Katy Manning, aka Jo Grant. We just recently lost Liz Shaw, and Katy is looking a lot more rough that poor Liz.

Comment from eirik
Time: September 24, 2011, 7:15 pm

Tom Leher. He hasn’t released anything since the sixties but last I checked he was still alive and ancient.

Comment from Nina from GCP
Time: September 24, 2011, 7:15 pm

Man, there are some good ones out there, and having this weekend spoken to someone who knows, the Steve Jobs pick is a good one, alas.

But all my favorites are taken, so…who to choose? How ’bout Keith Richards? anyone got him? Of course it’s hard to tell by lookin’ at him whether he’s already dead or not–they can do some pretty amazing things with life support these days.

Comment from Truman North
Time: September 24, 2011, 7:49 pm

Phyllis Diller.

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: September 24, 2011, 8:20 pm

A new one. I saw the other day he’s still alive, and over 100: General Vo Nguyen Giap. (Or to be precise about the diacriticals, Võ Nguyên Giáp.)

Comment from Nora Trane
Time: September 24, 2011, 8:52 pm

Former Sen. John Glenn. Treasonous Bastard.

Comment from Subotai Bahadur
Time: September 24, 2011, 10:52 pm

I am torn, because my picks are both based on the probable mayhem to be committed by the American Left. I rather suspect that due to the possibility of turning state’s evidence against the current administration over the special treatment the company received from the White House in getting a a half billion dollars in now defaulted loan guarantees [which benefited a major Obama donor and the money is missing in action]; that the life expectancy of Solyndra Corporation CEO Brian Harrison is not something to be insured by a prudent person.

My second prediction, which I know does not count for Dead Pool purposes, is that especially if she decides to run, that at least one attempt will be made on the life of Sarah Palin by some Leftist(s). I pray that her security detail is made up of plenty of bloody-minded former SEALS. But the enemy just has to get lucky once.

Subotai Bahadur

Comment from huerfano
Time: September 24, 2011, 11:05 pm

Jimmy Carter’s equally evil other half, Rosalynn Carter.

Comment from Sven In Colorado
Time: September 25, 2011, 4:01 am

Still hangin’ with Kirk “Spartacus” Douglas. May his son also rest in pieces; leaving that still gorgeous, surgically enhanced, Welsh lassie a not so grieving widow.

Although, I would much prefer to see the traitorous, race baiting, political moron: Morgan Freeman be caught trespassing while trekking in what he thought was Iraq and beheaded by Almondinnerjacket’s muzzy thugs.

Whaddabout Babs’ Boxer, Nan Pee-lousy, Dick “the turbin” Durbin, Screamin’ Howie Dean…..or Dingy Harry Reid?!?!?

Comment from the fashizzlizer
Time: September 25, 2011, 6:10 am

John “Clueless Bastard” Kerry, aka Lurch. If anyone in the world is stupid, pompous and irritating enough to outshine Joe Biteme Biden here, it’s the Yankee Zombie fhererom the Glorious Worker’s Paradise of M-ass-achusetts. While he would like to join Teddy “Big Liver” Kennedy’s cadaver wherever it’s moldering at at this very moment. I think they buried Fatboy Teddy in Arlington, Lurch deserves eternal placement in an open dumpster behind a skid row Taco Bell. Rot in Pieces, you sorry pile you.

Comment from the fashizzlizer
Time: September 25, 2011, 6:20 am

Otherwise, I call a pox on Chuck Sh*theel Shumer or Jimmy Carter. Venereal disease demise for both is too good. That’s my back up vote.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 25, 2011, 11:18 am

I think it is time for a new veneral disease, something that is really quick like? Maybe something that stimulates CD26. Anyone remember T-Genero?

Comment from Pablo
Time: September 25, 2011, 11:53 am

With regret, I’ll go with Christopher Hitchens.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 25, 2011, 12:02 pm

Here I thought you’d be working on the Melanin Plague, Oceania.

Comment from Chris Niemira
Time: September 25, 2011, 5:51 pm

I pick Rich Little

Comment from Mysterion
Time: September 26, 2011, 12:27 am

Helen Thomas

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 26, 2011, 1:09 am

Melanin? Oh that’s NOT how you target a pathogen – lol!

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: September 26, 2011, 2:35 am

Two days late to the party, and I still get to pick Anwar al-Awlaki?

Comment from the fashizzlizer, forrmerly enter sandman.
Time: September 26, 2011, 3:21 am

Can I gets a pick of Adam West? Burt Ward? Alan Greenspan? No one has picked these fine candidates for an extended dirtnap. What gives? Jesse Jackson, Sr and Jr? Double dip of dipsticks.

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: September 26, 2011, 4:31 am

Sen. Al Franken, of something painful and yet funny.

Comment from Oceania
Time: September 26, 2011, 6:07 am

I’m going to name a person that will probably snuff it.
The lady that walked out through the hole made in the Pentagon by the cruise missile that struck it? What’s her name?

Comment from steve
Time: September 26, 2011, 1:46 pm

@ fashizzlizer:

It would be sweet to watch Lurch snuff it in a kite-boarding accident….maybe by having his gozzle grabbed by one of the control lines…..

Comment from steve
Time: September 26, 2011, 1:53 pm

@ Fenymangroupie:

You can pick Zsa-Zsa if you want…..but I have already been defeated by her many many times…

She is close to being eternal, at this point…..

Comment from Bill the Butcher
Time: September 26, 2011, 11:52 pm

Ripley stole Libbie Custer aka Olivia de Havilland (and killed the Mother Alien), so I’m going with Joan Fontaine.

Comment from Oh Hell
Time: September 26, 2011, 11:54 pm

Crap, I snoozed and Lindsay “the skellyton” Lohaan got snapped up…
Andy Rooney, because he looks like he’s already there, they just haven’t stuffed him in a box yet.

Comment from J.S.Bridges
Time: September 27, 2011, 11:27 am

Going with that nasty ol’ Commie-formerly-reputed-to-be-Amurrcan Jane Fonda, as usual –

Would have said “Oceania”, but for two factors: 1) Not famous, howevermuch notorious hereabouts, and 2) how would we ever tell, as he/she/it is clearly already brain-dead, has been for some time now, but lacks the required fortitude to quietly molder away…

Also considered Larry King – but the dude clearly has an extended Faustian deal goin’ on, and may never pass away in our own lifetimes combined.


Comment from TwoDogs
Time: September 27, 2011, 6:16 pm

Wishful thinking here – Nancy Pelosi. Botox OD.

Comment from Princess Bernie
Time: September 28, 2011, 4:51 pm

Late, but I’m taking Michael Douglas, the son of Kirk.

Comment from frogmouth
Time: September 28, 2011, 7:59 pm

Harry Morgan from M*A*S*H* and Dragnet fame.

Comment from steve
Time: September 28, 2011, 11:57 pm

OK…I got tied up at work Friday and missed the kick-off….and all of you lot managed to scarf up my usual low hanging fruit…

(BTW frogmouth….you better pick again….Harry was scooped up way early on by veershir)…

But after very careful consideration:

Andy Rooney for the dick…(trips over his eyebrows and takes a nasty tumble onto his head)

Comment from Mysterion
Time: September 29, 2011, 1:59 am

Andy Rooney has already been taken, Steve. If someone is looking for a pick idea I can think of a dictator who hasn’t been chosen yet.

Comment from MrCaniac
Time: September 30, 2011, 1:37 am

Nelson Mandela for the win.

You just know he got a lot of Spotted Dick in the can when he was in prison.

Comment from steve
Time: September 30, 2011, 3:04 am

@ Mysterion –
I checked 3 times now and I cannot see who picked Andy Rooney ahead of me….
What am I missing?

Comment from Kansas Gman
Time: September 30, 2011, 5:32 am

Verne Troyer. His remaining time on earth will be short.

Comment from Nina
Time: September 30, 2011, 10:43 am

So…we have a winnah already?!

Comment from Mysterion
Time: September 30, 2011, 12:42 pm

Steve, Oh Hell picked Andy on September 26, 2011 at 11:54 pm

Comment from Formerly known as Skeptic
Time: September 30, 2011, 1:27 pm

It looks like Mrs. Hill might just have it with Anwar al-Awlaki. Looks like I picked the wrong terrorist!

Comment from Mija Cat
Time: September 30, 2011, 2:52 pm

Anwar Al Awlaki has been mirandized by a missile.

No, not my work .. I wish I were so clever.

Comment from Montenegro
Time: September 30, 2011, 4:40 pm

Congrats Ms. Hill!!!! Another follower of the religion of peace meets his maker. So does the new pool start today or do we wait a week?

Comment from Rich Rostrom
Time: September 30, 2011, 5:17 pm

Kudos to Mrs. Hill on “hitting the open man” (i.e. seeing that Awlaki was still available). When possible, go with the U.S. Armed Forces – they do get their man!

Now I have to find another pick…

Comment from steve
Time: September 30, 2011, 5:47 pm

Point of order:
If, at some point in the future, the pink mist is all collected from the 1000 or so square yards of desert that appears to have been Mr. Awalaki’s final resting place, and a determination that it was not he who was blown to smithereens, and that the wretched bastard still walks among us….will Mrs. Hill be required to return any unused portion of her dick, and then the game reset to the current picks?
(’cause, as Mysteron pointed out, I still do not yet have a valid pick, and I am covetously eyeballing some on this list. And I will not miss the kickoff next Friday….rest assured.)

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: September 30, 2011, 6:06 pm

Well, well, well…congratulations, Mrs Hill!

Too late to queue up a new Dead Pool for today (6pm WBT was five minutes ago), so next Friday it is! That’ll give ’em a few days to confirm the kill.

Comment from Anonymous
Time: September 30, 2011, 7:54 pm

Ahhhh man…I wanted to pick Greece.

Comment from Mrs. Hill
Time: October 1, 2011, 1:27 am





Comment from Mija Cat
Time: October 5, 2011, 5:23 pm

Had I thumbs, I’d be twiddling ’em.

Comment from S. Weasel
Time: October 5, 2011, 8:03 pm

You must’ve seen the Cravendale “Cats With Thumbs” ad, Mija.

Comment from RushBabe
Time: October 5, 2011, 11:44 pm

Steve Jobs – RIP

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