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Dead Pool Round 111: I’m’a git that varmint edition

Lester III. Joe Jackson. Dick winner.

Sorry to post and run, but I spotted an honest-to-goodness stoat crawling around on the outside of my henhouse just now, and it’s only a matter of time before he figures a way in. I’m going go sit in the garden with a rifle and wait.

Sure, it’s only an air rifle, but I won’t half make the little bastard sting.

p.s. no picking “that stoat” in the Dead Pool. Ready?

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

June 29, 2018 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 88

Watching water dry

This one is kind of genius. It’s a piece of slate and a paintbrush. You paint on the slate with water, and as it fades away, your worries magically fade away with it.

As a meditation aid, it’s brilliant. I think I want it.

No, I haven’t taken a turn for the woo, dear reader. I’m still the same weasel I ever was: as psychic as a potato.

I started the week doing an eBay search for pieces of quartz crystal with inclusions, because I think they’re pretty. And that took me to the crystal ball aisle. And from there, it was a hop, skip and a jump to ghost boxes, copper pyramids and Buddha boards. There’s a whole industry out there.

Anyhoo, enough of that! Come back here tomorrow for DEAD POOL ROUND 111. I’ll break out the Ouija board. (Seriously. There’s over 700 to choose from).

June 28, 2018 — 9:48 pm
Comments: 9

Yeah, I was s’posed to post this last night

Okay, then…how about a six foot tall copper meditation pyramid?

This is a custom made 100% copper pyramid with French doors. It measures 6 foot at the base and has an overall height of 58.26 inches matching the proportions of the great pyramid at Giza. Materials used are 16 gauge textured copper sheet,1/8 inch hand wrought copper piano type hinges with copper pins, 1/8 hand wrought copper riveting brackets (second to last photo), 1/8 inch x 1 1/2 inch hand wrought backing strips, 3/4 inch thick wall copper tube frame TIG welded with copper filler (last photo during construction), and copper rivets. This item is made to order.

Only $8,500!

I didn’t realize pyramids were still a thing, but eBay lists dozens of the boogers big enough to crawl into. Huh.

So — changing the subject — I just had my first ever yogurt #fail. After six hours on heat, it has totally neglected to set.

I thought my culture was starting to drift a little, so I went back to the storebought packaged starter. Third time I’ve used one of these, with great success every other time.

My only departure — I usually add the culture where I mean to carry on, about about 110°. This time, I let it cool to about 90°, added the culture and brought it up to 110°.

The hell? Being cold doesn’t hurt the bugs, otherwise you couldn’t make yogurt from last week’s fridge yogurt. Any ideas?


p.s. Next day. Still not set, it’s as loose as milk. Tastes a little sour, so I’m sure there’s a lactobacillus in there. I bought another liter of milk today, but you think I dare try re-cooking this one?

p.p.s. Lester III wins the Dead Pool with Joe Jackson. Quick, but not the quickest ever. You know what that means…back here, day after tomorrow, 6WBT, Dead Pool Round 111.

June 27, 2018 — 10:00 pm
Comments: 16

I’m fine! I’m fine!

Sorry youse guys! I didn’t mean to worry you!

I did a post last night, but didn’t hit PUBLISH on it before I went to bed, I guess. Looks like. Then I had monitor troubles today and got so wadded up about that, I didn’t notice.

My main monitor keeps fading to white. Last time that happened — couple of years ago — I bought a new card. Now the new card is doing it. Is my motherboard a card killer?

Anyway.

Sorry.

Have to go out, but I’ll put up last night’s post when I get back.

It wasn’t very good, but I did have a question.

— 1:38 pm
Comments: 6

The things you find on eBay

Introducing the FCD MK5.2 Ghost Box Spirt Box Portal All wood design Paranormal ghost hunting. I’m sure he means ‘spirit’ – it’s a ghost detector.

His picture really sells this thing, doesn’t it?

FCD MK5.2 GHOST BOX PORTAL (New for 2018!)
This is the all new wooden case FCD ghost box device. I have been working on this new design for a while now and I believe this unit has one of the clearest and loudest sound systems in such a handy portable case.

Features: All wood case, loud clear sounds, individual tone and bass controls, continuous sweep, digital display, sound to light indicator, Aux In to play your apps through the box, Aux out to record and attach effects boxes, adjustable multi-directional antenna, uses 5 volts batteries or at home usb, carry handle and rubber feet.

The device is lovely to behold and incorporates the 5th Element crystal too. All hand made from the ground up. Watch the video for a demo of how it sounds and operates before you buy.

Made to order, £110. For a hand crafted, polished wood box incorporating a fifth element crystal, I think that’s quite the bargain. There’s video on his auction listing. It sounds to me as though it picks up (slightly disturbing) snippets of stray radio signal, and it would be easy to attach meaning to them.

Now, I won’t have Nigel savaged, please. I think he’s perfectly charming.

June 25, 2018 — 8:21 pm
Comments: 25

Dead Pool Round 110: Midsummer edition

Carl again with Carl’s Gambit™ and Leslie Grantham, a British actor from the soap opera East Enders.

For the record, I’ve never watched a single episode of East Enders, Coronation Street or any Brit soap opera. I read once, though — and it’s true, as far as I know — that the British are the only people whose soap operas are about the low and ordinary, not the rich and famous. It’s a voyeur thing of some kind.

I have threatened to institute Carl’s Rule. I’m hoping the hairy eyeball will cool his ardor until I can tot up how many times he has won this thing.

Are we ready…? Then let us begin.

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

June 22, 2018 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 71

Dead Monkey

If you hoped to pick Koko the Signing Gorilla in the Dead Pool tomorrow, you’re out of luck. She daid. Also, she was a monkey.

Oh, don’t give me that ‘gorillas aren’t monkeys’ crap. Who are you, Gregor Mendel?

I’ll be honest, fam — I’m pretty seriously monkey phobic. (Long story. Has to do with a childhood friend of my mother’s who had a circus act).

So I’m prejudiced, I admit. But I don’t buy for a minute that she had an IQ of 85 and a vocabulary of…however many words she’s supposed to have had a vocabulary of. Without her ‘interpreters’, I’m not convinced she could consistently sign “ook ook banana.”

Also, of all the dozens of pictures of Koko with kittens, have you ever noticed how unhappy the cats look? And how it’s always baby kittens? What happened to them…? Just sayin’.

Well, whatever. Back here tomorrow, 6 WBT. Dead Pool 110!

June 21, 2018 — 9:31 pm
Comments: 18

Happy Solstice

This was the oh-so-spiritual scene at Stonehenge at sunset today. Frankly, I find it preferable to the elderly hippie cosplayers they usually feature in these things. As the Evening Standard put it:

For many thousands of years, Stonehenge – England’s ancient prehistoric world heritage site – is visited over the summer solstice as a place of worship and celebration.

Individuals, or those in a group, assemble at this ancient site to conduct their own ceremonies or celebrations – the only stipulation of which being that they are respectful and tolerant of others around them.

As respectful and tolerant as you can be in the dry-land equivalent of a public swimming pool in high Summer.

Whatever. The exact time varies. I couldn’t work out if that article was this year, but whatever year it was:

In the UK, the longest day begins at 4.43am and ends at 9.21pm, which means that in Britain, we will enjoy 16 hours and 38 minutes of daylight on June 21.

The solstice itself is the exact time the sun shines over the Tropic of Cancer, which this year will be at 11:07am BST.

Which makes it tomorrow, but there’s some dispute whether to observe it on the 20th or the 21st, so…you know. Follow your conscience.

June 20, 2018 — 9:55 pm
Comments: 11

Let the bee puns commence!

I’m on three blood pressure meds and I haven’t had a meds check in years; got a note in my last packet of drugs telling me I have to go in or they’re cutting me off.

So. Doctor’s appointment today. Just putting on my shoes to leave the house and…I step on a bumblebee. This answers two burning questions: 1. Yes. Bumblebees sting. 2. No, they don’t shed their whole backend and die like honey bees.

At least, this guy looked okay afterwards. I scooped him up in a jar and took him outside, which I thought was damn decent of me, all things considered.

I didn’t get too much of a dose, I guess. I didn’t smush him, and — unexpectedly, I must say — my bp was a very calm and collected 120/70.

June 19, 2018 — 7:58 pm
Comments: 15

My face when…

 

 

 

…I realize I’m following a Twitter account called @whoresofyore. And using my own @realname account, too. Why?

Sorry. Still chasing deadlines this week. I swore I wouldn’t fall back into ‘chasing deadlines’ mode after I left my corporate gig, but once people find out you own a copy of Photoshop and you know how to drive it, your fate is sealed.

Oh, yeah…I assumed ‘carll’ is ‘carl’, and I further assume he has won another Dead Pool. Oh, carl, carll, carlllll. You’re going to make me dream up a ‘carl’s rule’, aren’t you?

Now would be a really excellent time for Rich Rostrom to chime in with one of his meticulous spreadsheets of historic Dick Winners. 

 

 

 

June 18, 2018 — 10:23 pm
Comments: 14