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Dead Pool Round 149: New Year’s Eve edition

Well, here we are again.

Armybrat takes it with Desmond Tutu, Archbishop of Cape Town.

What’re the odds of having a Dead Pool on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve?

One thing I know for sure: it can’t possibly happen again until 2027 when both days fall on a Friday again. And by that time I’ll probably be…still sitting in this here chair grinding out chicken posts for Christmas. I’m a creature of habit.

Happy New Year everyone! Let’s begin…

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

Armybrat wins again!!! RIP Betty White 🙁

December 31, 2021 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 44

The mirror

Oh, they know what they’re looking at. I mean, they couldn’t describe it to you in words of one syllable, but they are both intrigued and unafraid.

Rosie and Jenny as six-week-old mille fleur bantams. Rosie vanished one day, presumably taken by the fox. I heard a bark, but the other chickens didn’t react, so it was a sneaky one.

Jenny grew up to be a wonderful great fat mille fleur archetype and the mother of Sam, Mo and Millie. Not their biological mother, but she sat the eggs and raised them.

An even sneakier fox got her. He head-butted his way into the nest box and ate her right off the perch. I ran out to find him trapped in the chicken run. I opted to let him go to save the other chicken trapped inside.

What was I going to do, beat him to death with a banjo?

December 30, 2021 — 7:59 pm
Comments: 9

But what does it mean?

There’s something about images with multiple chickens that seems to have a deeper meaning. Like a poultry I Ching.

After the divine Lucia (pbuh) fell off the perch at the untimely age of three, these three chooks were my whole flock for a long time. In the evening, when I went to shut them in, I’d open the door and look them over on the perch.

They were facing toward or away from me in one of the following sequences:

beak-beak-butt
beak-butt-butt
beak-butt-beak
butt-beak-butt
butt-butt-beak
beak-beak-beak
butt-butt-butt

I feel sure if I were wise enough, I could tell my fortune by this. The only constant was, everyone slept scooched away from Violence. She was a sleep-pecker.

December 29, 2021 — 6:29 pm
Comments: 6

Charlotte’s best friend

That’s a poorly cast cement kitty sculpture we call Mr Grumpy Puss. It’s such a crude representation, I was astonished when my old cat Charlotte reacted to his appearance in the garden as if he were a real cat.

Charlotte hated other cats and was deeply suspicious of this one at first. After a few days, though, she would sometimes see her sitting on the lawn with him, keeping him company. From a safe distance, of course.

Interesting things go on in the little brains of cats.

Chickens, not so much. The flock have never reacted to him at all, other than to perch on his head and shit down his back from time to time.

That chicken is Violence. She was originally called Violet until we learned her true nature. All the lavender pekins I’ve had were jerks.

December 28, 2021 — 5:45 pm
Comments: 10

A four-pack of greedy beaks

Here we see the chicken’s natural love of spaghetti. I think they think it’s worms.

This right here is illegal in the UK, by the way. Feeding people food to chickens, even pet chickens. This picture was taken in 2013, before the decree, though. Please not to be arresting me.

So, we have a Dead Pool winner already! Congrats, armybrat. Did you notice, by the way, that we had a pandemic and it didn’t affect the frequency Dead Pool winners at all?

December 27, 2021 — 4:31 pm
Comments: 9

Merry Christmas, y’all!

Having a wonderful one.

The artist is Adriana de Matos, born in Portugal but lives in Scotland. This is the Christmas card Uncle B gave me.

It catches me out every year. I forget he starts festivities with a card and I usually forget to get him one. Is exchanging cards part of your family tradition?

Hope you’re having a good one. Our Christmas dinner is an evening meal, so pardon me while I go boil sweet potatoes. Carry on Dead Pooling!

December 25, 2021 — 4:20 pm
Comments: 18

Dead Pool Round 148: ‘Twas the night before Christmas

Lavendergirl takes it with Carlos Marín. I never hoid of him, but I should have. A Spaniard born in Germany, his musical career was in the UK in the classical crossover group Il Divo. To be honest, I never hoid of Il Divo, either. Or classical crossover.

So what happened to him? Covid, followed by hospital, followed by medically-induced coma. And we know what that means, don’t we? They put the poor bastard on a ventilator. Stay out of the hospital if you possibly can, everyone.

Oh, and MERRY CHRISTMAS! Let’s get started:

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

December 24, 2021 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 47

Oh, boy, have I got some chickens for you!

We went for a drive in the country today, on our way to pick up our (perfectly enormous) turkey, and we found THIS. People, these things are *big*. They look like wireframe and paper, but surely that can’t be in a country as wet as this. I’ll bet my next paycheck they light up at night.

In total, I counted ten giant paper birds (of which, four chickens). ‘Scuse bad cellphone pic. Let me give you a sense of scale.

YES, YES, YES I want one! Uncle B, not so keen.

Is everybody ready for the Christmas Eve Dead Pool? Of course you are. What else you going to do on Christmas Even than speculate on the death of a famous person in hopes of winning a dick?

December 23, 2021 — 5:09 pm
Comments: 6

Luciaaaaa, I’ll never stop saying Lucia

Sung to the tune of “Maria” naturally.

Lucia was a shy bird when she was little, but all that changed when she hit puberty. And how. She grew into a regal and imperious bird.

I watched Uncle B try to shoo her off the pea patch once. She reared up and looked down her beak at him as if to say, “young man, do you know I who am?

All the mille fleurs I’ve have been blowsy and bossy. If I had to stick to one type of chicken, it would be a mille fleur pekin bantam.

Funny, I have very few decent pictures of her. She’s always out of focus or behind another bird or walking away from the camera. I think she was too awesome to capture on film.

By the way, they remake of West Side Story was released and I heard it was surprisingly good. I heard that from some randoes on Twitter, though.

I’m assuming the plural of “rando” is “randoes”.

December 22, 2021 — 8:08 pm
Comments: 5

21:21 21/12/21

That’s what time I set this to auto-post. I’d’ve added 21 seconds, but they don’t actually let me time posts to the second. Also, I don’t know if you noticed, but at 3:59 this afternoon (WBT), it was the Winter Solstice. So the days are getting longer again. Whew!

Today was my last day of work until January 4. I’m’a spend today and tomorrow doing a bit of prep, and then serious laziness ensues. So I asked myself, “what is the laziest possible thing I could do on my blog for the holidays?” And the answer I came up with is reposting old chicken pictures.

This is Chel. Or perhaps her twin brother Rackets. Hard to tell at this age. No, they are no longer with us, either one.

Wait, is this exercise going to make me sad?

Oh, and we probably have a Dead Pool winner, but I have questions. Lavendergirl picks Spanish singer Carlos Marin on the 17th and the poor bastard drops dead on the 19th. Lady, did you hear a rumor he had the coof, or is there something afoot? *squints*

When you encourage dirty tricks, it don’t half make you paranoid.


ExpressoBold discovered the answer: they put Carlos Marin in an induced coma December 7. Which means ventilator. Which means death. The state of modern medicine.

Congrats, Lavendergirl – you win the dick fair and square! We all know what that means, yes? Here. Friday. 6WBT. New Dead Pool!

December 21, 2021 — 9:21 pm
Comments: 7