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Round 62: the new lambs are here!

Well, Mickey Rrrrrooney copped it at last, LesterIII takes the dick! Rooney’s body has yet to be claimed. Highest paid actor of the late 30s and early 40s, he leaves an estate of $18,000. Seems one of his stepsons made off with the rest. He left the eighteen grand to another stepson. His eight children he deliberately disinherited in a will signed a few weeks ago. So nobody feels like stepping up to bury the old coot.

Think of this next time family gets on your last nerve ending: at least you aren’t the kid of a Hollywood star.

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

April 11, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 95

Round 61: Equinox edition


Carl wins his third dick with Tony Benn, British politician. Here’s all you need to know about Tony Benn: 1) he was an egregious lefty twat-waffle and 2) his great uncle was murdered with a chamberpot by his own son, who later got out of the loony bin and fathered Margaret Rutherford.

End of.

Okay, here we go. Pity Fred Phelps couldn’t join us:

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

March 21, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 95

The news makes me feel like I been takin’ crazy pills

Hey, we recycle in this household, pal!


I’m calling the Dead Pool for Carl. Chicken Farmer picked Tony Benn first, but it was his second pick so it doesn’t count. So sorry, Chicken Farmer — I’d love to give a dick to another chookophile, but rules is rules.

This is Carl’s second win, but he has yet to claim his first dick. If you step forward, C, you get *2* dicks. And also maybe me turning up some day asking to sleep on your sofa.

Your call.

March 17, 2014 — 10:28 pm
Comments: 18

Round 60: and it rained and it rained and it rained some more

ExpressoBold takes the dick with Joan Mondale. This may come as a surprise to ExpressoBold, who didn’t so much choose Mrs Mondale as suggest someone oughta. But I’m taking it, because I’m easy, and coming up with posts lately is hard. I blame the weather.

(Seriously, if I miss a post some day, it’s because I’ve floated away on the kitchen table. It Will Not Stop Raining).

Right, here we go!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

February 7, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 128

Round 59: Spring is just around the corner


It is my pleasure to announce the demise of Commie douchecanoe Pete Seeger, and not before time. Thank god we had a Harvard-educated Manhattanite to teach us the real purpose of banjer music, or it would still be all moonshine, pretty girls and fattening hogs for Winter. Congratulations to bigsmarthuman, who wins dick while Seeger bum-ditties in hell.

Not a fan, in case I’m being too subtle for you inbred hillbillies.

Right! Here we go! Wait, first an administrative note (I’ll incorporate it into the rules later): make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

Like my sainted mother used to say, bad spelling thwarts dick winners.

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

January 31, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 90

Rejoice! Rejoice!

That egregious old Commie Pete Seeger, dead at 94. I was going to call him an embarrassment to banjo players but, sadly, that isn’t so — banjo players seem to break almost evenly between lefties and righties, those who pray at the Church of Earl and those who pray at the Church of Pete.

And, yes — bigsmarthuman had him in the Dead Pool.
We know what that means, don’t we? Back here, next
Friday, 6pm WBT — Dead Pool Round 59!

January 28, 2014 — 11:54 am
Comments: 14

Round 58: the days are getting longer


Carl takes the dick with Ariel Sharon. (Brrrr…eight years in a coma. I hope it was a proper deep coma, and not like that ‘just cruising under the surface’ thing I do on Sunday mornings).

Gimme a tickle if you want your dick, Carl. I’m in a dick packaging mood at the moment.

Right! On to the life-affirming mental exercise that is the Dead Pool:

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

January 17, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 97

w00t!

Carl wins the dick with Ariel Sharon! I gotta run, but I wanted to point that out.

So, back here. Friday. 6 sharp WBT.

Dead Pool Round 58!

January 11, 2014 — 1:52 pm
Comments: 13

Round 57: bend over, here comes 2014!

Holy crap — I’ve forgotten to queue up the Dead Pool! That’s the kind of mellow holiday weasel I am today. Sam Paris wins dick with Kalashnikov (and I don’t mean he shot up the place).

I’m several dicks behind, incidentally, if you’re waiting for one. I tend to do them in batches. Don’t worry, the dick always gets there in the end.

Nope. Never get tired of it.

Right…!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

December 27, 2013 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 107

Round 56: Ho Ho Ho-ly shit, look at the time!

Well, good old Joan Fontaine copped it at last, and dissent555 takes the dick. Died in her sleep, thus ending the longest-running and most public sibling rivalry in history. She said of her sister, “I married first, won the Oscar before Olivia did, and if I die first, she’ll undoubtedly be livid because I beat her to it!”

Olivia deHavilland is 97, folks! Line up!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

December 20, 2013 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 102