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Dead Pool Round 69: nope, not going to touch that

Well! drew458′s clever gambit paid off in the end — Joan Rivers is no more. I didn’t realize how popular she was over here — her death has been front page everywhere. The papers have been full of Joan Rivers one-liners all day — a most welcome break from the various shit-storms in the news ATM.

If only she hadn’t done that horrible thing to her face.

Ready? Here we go…

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

September 5, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 122

Hurrrr

NATO is meeting in Wales at the moment, so this doof is over our side. It was reported on the radio this afternoon that so many things are happening in NATO’s territory, there’s a chance the meeting will hold Obama’s interest this time. That, ordinarily, he finds these meetings so boring, he sends his aids out to buy crossword puzzle magazines to get him through.

I shit you not. It was a straight news broadcast, so maybe I…surely I misheard…?

You know, if everything bores you, it isn’t an indication that you’re extra super smart. If the most important job in the Western world seems beneath you, you aren’t a sooper genius. You’re a malignant narcissist and borderline retard.

So, anyhoo, changing the subject…RIP Joan Rivers. The way they were reporting the story sounded bad to me — like, it doesn’t sound as if she ever recovered consciousness — so I’m not in the least surprised.

Time enough to queue it up — Tomorrow, 6WBT, Dead Pool Soixante Neuf.

September 4, 2014 — 9:25 pm
Comments: 28

…we wait…

I knew somebody was gonna do it. Drew nipped in and got Joan Rivers — and, what’s more, I don’t see a previous pick from him in this Dead Pool, so it’s going to stick.

Unclear what her status is, at the moment. If she’s officially declared dead before 6WBT tomorrow, the new Dead Pool is on! If not, we wait (but I still fancy Drew’s odds). Stay tuned!

Oh, also…poor Joan Rivers. Liked her. Sorry to see her go.

August 28, 2014 — 8:51 pm
Comments: 15

Dead Pool 68: forty five minutes late and sixty cents short

Screw it, you guys. Sorry this is late. I messed up the date on the original, and would you believe you can’t just tell a scheduled post to go ahead on and post?

Nanny1 wins a second dick with Lauren Bacall. Bacall had great eyes and silly political views.

Did you know there was a medical condition called Bogart–Bacall syndrome? It’s that husky voice you develop when you push your voice outside its comfortable range for too long. They both had it. Lauren’s natural speaking voice was high and squeaky, apparently.

Heh. Imagine that “you know how to whistle” line delivered by Minnie Mouse.

Ready? Then we’ll begin…

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

August 15, 2014 — 6:38 pm
Comments: 96

Bold Venture

Lauren Bacall at last. To be honest, I thought she was older than 89.

Not long before her death, she said something like “I suppose my obituary will be all about Bogart.” With some resignation, I assume — he’s been dead for 57 years.

I’m no different. I’m going to mark her passing with a recommendation that you listen to Bold Venture, a series of radio plays they did together in 1951 (audio links at the bottom). No one is sure how many episodes there are in total, but upwards of fifty have come to light.

I like Old Time Radio plays. They’re usually entertaining and often well-written, and there are a bajillion serieseses out there to download for free. I have a little OTR dingus on my Android tablet and I used to listen to Bold Venture in the bathtub, which just felt right.

Oh, and yes…nanny1 takes the dick! I believe this is the second dick for nanny1 (you know the drill; you gots to send me your address again).

I’m painfully aware how far behind I’ve gotten with my dick duties. If you’re waiting for one, I do apologize. I’m'onna have to build some drawing time into my everyday, or I’m'a start to lose skills.

So, meet me back here Friday, 6WBT. Dead Pool Round 68!

p.s. RIP Robin Williams, too. Not a fan, but there are corners of the internet where people are losing their freaking minds, so…

August 13, 2014 — 10:16 pm
Comments: 17

Dead Pool Round 67: Fish Jumping, Cotton High

Platypuss wins dick with James Garner (born James Scott Bumgarner). Give his Wikipedia entry a read. Among the highlights: he beat the hell out of his stepmother after she made him wear a dress to school, and he was married to the same woman for almost 58 years. Money quote: “Marriage is like the Army; everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number of people who re-enlist.”

Okay, ready?

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

August 1, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 89

Round 66: Death in the High Summer

Hutch wins dick with Eli Wallach! While he was a student at the University of Texas, Austin, Wallach acted in a play with fellow students Ann Sheridan and Walter Cronkite. Just think — in future, when weird-ass things like that happen, somebody will have cellphone footage of it.

He was married to actress Anne Jackson for 66 years. That’s the sign of a mensch, if you ask me — especially in Hollywood.

M’okay! Here we go!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

June 27, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 109

Round 64: the lazy, hazy days of Summer edition

ScotttheBadger takes it with Casey Kasem. Link goes to a Daily Mail article about Kasem’s home, up for sale. It comes with a piece of the Brooklyn Bridge, a golf course and a heart shaped pool. It looks tacky as shit, and it’s a steal for $42 mil.

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

June 20, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 90

Huh. I wonder what killed him.

Mr (1932-2014) and Mrs Casey Kasem. She was his second wife, but no last-minute gold-digger — they were married for 34 years. His first marriage — the one that produced the three angry children — lasted only seven. Just saying.

Looks like ol’ Casey was way, way to the left of good sense — he actively supported McGovern, followed by Jesse Jackson, Ralph Nader and Dennis Kucinich.

On the other hand — Shaggy Rogers! He also voiced Robin from the Batman/Superman Hour and Alexander on Josie and the Pussycats. And those were just his repeating gigs.

Rest in peace — all is forgiven.

So ScotttheBadger takes the dick! Standby for Dead Pool Round 64. Friday, 6WBT.

Be here or be bicurious!

June 16, 2014 — 9:38 pm
Comments: 20

Round 63: Mayday edition

Catnip bags the dick with Efrem Zimbalist, jr.

Wikipedia tells me his parents were non-practicing Jews, but that he himself was a devout believer in several things in his life, mostly Christian.

He was baptised in the Episcopal Church, but was an early follower of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (he described this later as an interesting waste of time). In the 70s, he was drawn to Charismatic Christianity and was the voice of Trinity Broadcasting Network for a while, but ultimately found this too fundamentalist.

He went back to the Episcopalians later in life and finally landed among the Anglicans. All of which I am happy to regard as a spiritual progression rather than a contradiction.

His daughter Stephanie announced his death like so: “He was 95 years old, a devout Christian. He actively enjoyed his life to the last day, showering love on his extended family, playing golf and visiting with close friends.”

The BBC obit (first link above) somehow mysteriously drops the first sentence.

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

May 9, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 113