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Dead Pool Round 76: Dog Dayz Edition

So they finally let the poor kid go. The commenter Formerly Known as Skeptic wins dick with Bobbi Kristina Brown. A short, sad story and not much good to come of it.

Except, you know, Skeptic won dick.

Okay, you ready?

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

July 31, 2015 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 62

Dead Pool Round 75: Already?

Round 74 ends in our first ever tie. Catnip bagged Kirk Kerkorian, multijillionaire casino mogul, while pupster went with Jeralean Talley, who was the oldest living person in the world right up until she wasn’t.

Problem is, it wasn’t clear exactly when who died. Clearly, they didn’t realize something as important as a dick was hanging on it.

Do you know, Jeralean was probably the last of our species born in the Nineteenth Century? At least among folks whose proper birthday is documented. Whoa, eh?

I think I shall declare Pupster’s Rule, a subset of Steve’s Rule: no more picking the oldest person alive if he or she isn’t famous for anything else. Not that I don’t admire Pupster’s sneak-to-the-victory — I do, I do — but it would be tedious in repetition.

Right! Ready?

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody. Plus (Pupster’s Rule) no picking someone who’s only famous for being the oldest person alive.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

June 19, 2015 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 104

Round 74: Hazy dayz of Zummer

So m has won a second time (the first was Round 50 and Frank Lautenberg). Poor old Christopher Lee. He hated being defined by the Dracula films (IMDB lists 281 credits to his name) but I’m sure he knew that was going to be the first and last thing in his obit.

He was also called out for Lord of the Rings. I wonder if he felt any better about that.

Another short round and a classic pick down. Now we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom! Ahem. Round 74:

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

June 12, 2015 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 75

Dicks. Housekeeping. Some assembly required.

Well, well…Christopher Lee has died, bless him, and closed the DeadPool™. Also — not DeadPool™ related — actor Ron Moody has fallen off the perch (dude who played Fagin in the film version of Oliver!).

And, yes, that thing in the picture is a delicious spotted dick. Let’s do some housekeeping.

This was Round 73 and win #2 for m. If you could send me your details again, m, I would appreciate it.

I owe Drew458 a dick (his second) for Round 68. I was holding it because I thought sure he was going to take #3 in short order with Bobbi Kristina Brown, but that poor soul is still in a coma, and it’s looking kinda permanent. So he’s in the queue.

According to my records, I also haven’t made dicks for Round 69 (homer with Ebola Man), Round 70 (armybrat with Mumbles Menino) and Round 72 (Ripley and BB King). No pressure (I hate giving out my contact details on the innernets and will refuse if I can do so gracefully, so don’t feel obliged). On the other hand, I do owe you dick.

There are also some older dick winners who never claimed their prize. You may step up at any time. Dick wins are forever.

That’s it then. Back here. Tomorrow. 6 sharp WBT. DeadPool Round 74!

June 11, 2015 — 9:14 pm
Comments: 11

Round 73: finally!


Has this Dead Pool really been going since January 2, or have I effed my math again? Never mind. Ripley wins dick with BB King (ipley was a typo). Made it to 89 and died peacefully, in his own bed, in his sleep. Not bad for a blues man.

BB King. Not Ripley.

Excuse my haste, but it is coming up on 6WBT and I have just walked in the door. Without further ado — whatever the hell ado is and assuming we’ve had some amount of it already — here we go:

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

May 15, 2015 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 89

Oooo…so close!

Almost! Commenter Cup-o-Puddin nipped in and snagged Leonard Nimoy just in time. And a fine Dead Pool maneuver it would have been, too, if commenter currently hadn’t noticed it was a second pick. Goodness knows I would’ve been too lazy to check.

Sorry to be hardass, Puddin. My inbox explodes when I make a questionable ruling — people take this whole ‘rules’ and ‘fair play’ thing really seriously.

Years ago, I read…it was either I Am Spock or I Am Not Spock. Seriously, he wrote both. They were autobiographies. In it, Nimoy said the pressure of acting like a character without emotions made him burst into tears between takes. I’m not sure if it was just the once or with depressing regularity.

Anyway, he went into my mental “meh” file at that moment.

Still, I feel kind of bad for actors who get hired to work on projects that have a powerful fandom. Most of them wander through conventions with bewildered and blindsided looks on their faces, at least at first.

Awesome attempted sneaky-sneak and better luck next time, Puddin. Dead Pool 72 rolls on. Good weekend, all!

February 27, 2015 — 7:22 pm
Comments: 37

Dead Pool Housekeeping

Welp, Drew458 is almost certainly going to be our next Dead Pool winner. They’ve switched off the ventilator on Bubbah Brown, or whatever Whitney Houston’s daughter’s name is. Though as far as I’m aware, she’s still breathing. Just not braining very much.

That’s handy, as I hadn’t mailed Drew458’s last dick (if he pulls it off, this will be his third win). Two dicks in one!

I’m kind of caught up with dicks, at last, except for a few people I couldn’t find addresses on. If you’ve sent them to me, please send again (though if you don’t want to claim your prize, I quite understand. I hate floating my bona fides on the internet).

They are:

■Rounds 57 and 60 go to Carl. That’s his second and third win, but if I have an address on him, I can’t find it.
■Round 63 was won by Scott the Badger with Casey Kasem.
■Round 64 was Hutch with Eli Wallach.
■Round 65 was the tragic victim of a math error (I skipped a number).
■Round 66 was platypuss and James Garner.
■Round 69 was homer and Thomas Duncan (ebola dude).
■Round 70 was armybrat with one of Weasel’s favorites, Thomas “Mumbles” Menino.

My older records are a little spotty, so if you won one and didn’t get your just reward, feel free to get in touch. I honor all dicks. Even elderly ones.

Oh, the skellingtons? I was looking for an image of a skeleton pushing a broom, when I ran across it. They’re sprayed gold, by the way. It’s some kind of weird sculpture installation a Devian Tart found in the back yard of a church in Munich.

Good weekend, all! In all probability, we’ll be gathering back here next week for Round 73! (But you never know. Good ol’ Zsa Zsa has been picked more times than Kim Kardashian’s thong).

February 6, 2015 — 9:38 pm
Comments: 27

Dead Pool Round 72: second post of 2015!

Somebody died! Somebody else has won dick!

What do you mean, not good enough? Oh, okay…I’ll go check.

Huh. Luise Rainer died and LesterIII has won dick. Holy poop, the old girl was 104. She won back-to-back Oscars in ’36 and ’37 and then lived another 77 years without anything particularly exciting happening to her. I’m guessing about that last part, but it’s a safe bet.

So, we gather together on this the second day of 2015 to enjoy a Dead Pool. I’m not sure what to think about that. Is it a good omen or a bad omen?

Just, nobody pick each other, please. Here we go!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

January 2, 2015 — 8:11 pm
Comments: 127

Dead Pool Round 71: Spooky Hallowe’en edition. Boo!

Well, well…armybrat takes dick with Thomas “Mumbles” Menino, longest serving mayor of Boston. WRKO radio personality Howie Carr (who I suspect tagged him with the Mumbles moniker) used to love playing clips of Menino’s trademark gibberish. Very surprised to see there’s nothing about Menino on his site as of this writing.

I pinched the idea of the Dead Pool from Howie Carr and I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Menino was a win for that pool, as well. Check with him tomorrow (that is, today) and see.

Housekeeping note: we’re being hammered with spam lately, and some good comments have mistakenly gone in the bit bucket. If your Dead Pool pick is swallowed up in the filter, email me and I’ll make sure you get what’s coming to you.

Right!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

October 31, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 103

That was a short one

Armybrat wins dick with Boston’s longest-serving mayor, the chronically inarticulate Thomas “Mumbles” Menino. I’ll bet Howie Carr is having a blast with Mumbles’ Greatest Hits today.

We’ve got just enough time to nip in with a new Dead Pool. So, see you back here tomorrow.

6 WBT.

Dead Pool Round 71!

October 30, 2014 — 4:14 pm
Comments: 14