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Oooo…so close!

Almost! Commenter Cup-o-Puddin nipped in and snagged Leonard Nimoy just in time. And a fine Dead Pool maneuver it would have been, too, if commenter currently hadn’t noticed it was a second pick. Goodness knows I would’ve been too lazy to check.

Sorry to be hardass, Puddin. My inbox explodes when I make a questionable ruling — people take this whole ‘rules’ and ‘fair play’ thing really seriously.

Years ago, I read…it was either I Am Spock or I Am Not Spock. Seriously, he wrote both. They were autobiographies. In it, Nimoy said the pressure of acting like a character without emotions made him burst into tears between takes. I’m not sure if it was just the once or with depressing regularity.

Anyway, he went into my mental “meh” file at that moment.

Still, I feel kind of bad for actors who get hired to work on projects that have a powerful fandom. Most of them wander through conventions with bewildered and blindsided looks on their faces, at least at first.

Awesome attempted sneaky-sneak and better luck next time, Puddin. Dead Pool 72 rolls on. Good weekend, all!

February 27, 2015 — 7:22 pm
Comments: 33

Dead Pool Housekeeping

Welp, Drew458 is almost certainly going to be our next Dead Pool winner. They’ve switched off the ventilator on Bubbah Brown, or whatever Whitney Houston’s daughter’s name is. Though as far as I’m aware, she’s still breathing. Just not braining very much.

That’s handy, as I hadn’t mailed Drew458′s last dick (if he pulls it off, this will be his third win). Two dicks in one!

I’m kind of caught up with dicks, at last, except for a few people I couldn’t find addresses on. If you’ve sent them to me, please send again (though if you don’t want to claim your prize, I quite understand. I hate floating my bona fides on the internet).

They are:

■Rounds 57 and 60 go to Carl. That’s his second and third win, but if I have an address on him, I can’t find it.
■Round 63 was won by Scott the Badger with Casey Kasem.
■Round 64 was Hutch with Eli Wallach.
■Round 65 was the tragic victim of a math error (I skipped a number).
■Round 66 was platypuss and James Garner.
■Round 69 was homer and Thomas Duncan (ebola dude).
■Round 70 was armybrat with one of Weasel’s favorites, Thomas “Mumbles” Menino.

My older records are a little spotty, so if you won one and didn’t get your just reward, feel free to get in touch. I honor all dicks. Even elderly ones.

Oh, the skellingtons? I was looking for an image of a skeleton pushing a broom, when I ran across it. They’re sprayed gold, by the way. It’s some kind of weird sculpture installation a Devian Tart found in the back yard of a church in Munich.

Good weekend, all! In all probability, we’ll be gathering back here next week for Round 73! (But you never know. Good ol’ Zsa Zsa has been picked more times than Kim Kardashian’s thong).

February 6, 2015 — 9:38 pm
Comments: 27

Dead Pool Round 72: second post of 2015!

Somebody died! Somebody else has won dick!

What do you mean, not good enough? Oh, okay…I’ll go check.

Huh. Luise Rainer died and LesterIII has won dick. Holy poop, the old girl was 104. She won back-to-back Oscars in ’36 and ’37 and then lived another 77 years without anything particularly exciting happening to her. I’m guessing about that last part, but it’s a safe bet.

So, we gather together on this the second day of 2015 to enjoy a Dead Pool. I’m not sure what to think about that. Is it a good omen or a bad omen?

Just, nobody pick each other, please. Here we go!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

January 2, 2015 — 8:11 pm
Comments: 119

Dead Pool Round 71: Spooky Hallowe’en edition. Boo!

Well, well…armybrat takes dick with Thomas “Mumbles” Menino, longest serving mayor of Boston. WRKO radio personality Howie Carr (who I suspect tagged him with the Mumbles moniker) used to love playing clips of Menino’s trademark gibberish. Very surprised to see there’s nothing about Menino on his site as of this writing.

I pinched the idea of the Dead Pool from Howie Carr and I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Menino was a win for that pool, as well. Check with him tomorrow (that is, today) and see.

Housekeeping note: we’re being hammered with spam lately, and some good comments have mistakenly gone in the bit bucket. If your Dead Pool pick is swallowed up in the filter, email me and I’ll make sure you get what’s coming to you.

Right!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

October 31, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 103

That was a short one

Armybrat wins dick with Boston’s longest-serving mayor, the chronically inarticulate Thomas “Mumbles” Menino. I’ll bet Howie Carr is having a blast with Mumbles’ Greatest Hits today.

We’ve got just enough time to nip in with a new Dead Pool. So, see you back here tomorrow.

6 WBT.

Dead Pool Round 71!

October 30, 2014 — 4:14 pm
Comments: 14

Dead Pool Round Sebbindy: Here Comes Winter!

Well, well. Thomas Duncan — Ebola Man — did not make it. Our first ebola man, that is — they’ve just diagnosed a case in brrrr New York City.

Step up, Homer, and claim your dick. I love the serendipitous wins.

Ready? Here we go…

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I’m fresh out of fairy shit particles.

October 24, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 81

Housekeeping

My computer is being a pig tonight, so I’ll keep this brief. I’d forgotten somebody picked Thomas Duncan — ebola man — in the Dead Pool. Homer, to be exact. Step forward, Homer, and accept dick.

That reminds me. I did an inventory of dick winners this weekend. I have addresses for everybody I need, except: Carl (win #3), Scott the Badger (is that #2 for you?), hutch (did we meet in Boston that time?), platypuss (I was sure you’d sent me an address, but I can’t find it) and drew458 (is that #2 for you, too?). Just because you’ve won before doesn’t mean I can easily work out your address. Don’t be shy. You’ve won dick, fair and square.

Nope. Never gets old.

Once again, thanks for your patience. I’ve started to build drawing time into my day again, but I’m mighty rusty.

By the way, don’t indulge in a sigh or relief just yet, re: ebola. We seem to have a calming, especially outside Africa, but the BIG ones start with a few fizzles before they really get going. The Great Flu pandemic of 1918 was preceded by a little hiccup of an outbreak six months before. And I think they traced the AIDS Patient Zero back decades before anyone noticed a sudden weird uptick of Kaposi’s sarcoma in San Fran.

One of the things that can turn a local outbreak into raging pandemic is large groups of people living in close proximity. It’s not the spread so much as the opportunity to mutate rapidly. Like the barracks of WWI. Or — widely rumored — the immigrant camps of 2014 that may have given us a more aggressive Enterovirus D68.

And on that cheery note — see you back here,
Friday, 6pm WBT, Dead Pool Round 70!

October 21, 2014 — 10:27 pm
Comments: 26

Dead Pool Round 69: nope, not going to touch that

Well! drew458′s clever gambit paid off in the end — Joan Rivers is no more. I didn’t realize how popular she was over here — her death has been front page everywhere. The papers have been full of Joan Rivers one-liners all day — a most welcome break from the various shit-storms in the news ATM.

If only she hadn’t done that horrible thing to her face.

Ready? Here we go…

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay? Also, make sure you have a correct spelling of your choice somewhere in your comment. These threads get longish and I use search to figure out if we have a winner.

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

September 5, 2014 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 123

Hurrrr

NATO is meeting in Wales at the moment, so this doof is over our side. It was reported on the radio this afternoon that so many things are happening in NATO’s territory, there’s a chance the meeting will hold Obama’s interest this time. That, ordinarily, he finds these meetings so boring, he sends his aids out to buy crossword puzzle magazines to get him through.

I shit you not. It was a straight news broadcast, so maybe I…surely I misheard…?

You know, if everything bores you, it isn’t an indication that you’re extra super smart. If the most important job in the Western world seems beneath you, you aren’t a sooper genius. You’re a malignant narcissist and borderline retard.

So, anyhoo, changing the subject…RIP Joan Rivers. The way they were reporting the story sounded bad to me — like, it doesn’t sound as if she ever recovered consciousness — so I’m not in the least surprised.

Time enough to queue it up — Tomorrow, 6WBT, Dead Pool Soixante Neuf.

September 4, 2014 — 9:25 pm
Comments: 28

…we wait…

I knew somebody was gonna do it. Drew nipped in and got Joan Rivers — and, what’s more, I don’t see a previous pick from him in this Dead Pool, so it’s going to stick.

Unclear what her status is, at the moment. If she’s officially declared dead before 6WBT tomorrow, the new Dead Pool is on! If not, we wait (but I still fancy Drew’s odds). Stay tuned!

Oh, also…poor Joan Rivers. Liked her. Sorry to see her go.

August 28, 2014 — 8:51 pm
Comments: 15