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Those who have followed my blog for a while might remember that my birthday is THE ENTIRE MONTH OF MAY. Because being a thoroughly selfish sack of weasel takes a lot longer than a single day. In preparation, I have spent tonight tidying up my personal spaces ahead of tomorrow (the First of Weasel Birthmonth). I totally lost track of the time.

So, in glancing reference to yesterday’s item, allow me to link to a post I originally made allll the way back in 2007 about penis bones and my mother’s baculum collection. Wherein I call on my moderately extensive vocabulary of penis synonyms.

Won’t you join me?

April 30, 2019 — 9:57 pm
Comments: 11

‘Dire’ pun of some kind

Scientific American has run an article on dire wolves — which were real, apparently — in honor of the finale of Game of Thrones — in which work of fiction they feature, apparently.

I guess. We haven’t seen a single episode. We started to watch it, got to the dragons and Uncle B noped out hard.

Sword and sorcery. The man really hates it.

I don’t know how SA could possibly run an article on this animal without noting that it obviously had a baculum. How many canine species do?

April 29, 2019 — 9:11 pm
Comments: 13


These two objects are very old, very rusty (and, in the case of the top one) very long nails. Evil looking things.

The first one — the long, wicked one — appeared on the step outside the front door maybe six months ago. We had a little laugh about gypsy curses and left it on the sideboard in the hall.

Uncle B found the second one in almost exactly the same spot today.

I know, I know…the house is north of 400 years old, stuff is bound to fall out of it from time to time. But the ground around it is brick and the entryway was stuck on the side in the Seventies. Wherefore came’st it?

If anything…weird happens, AVENGE US! Oh, and have a good weekend.

April 26, 2019 — 8:08 pm
Comments: 12

Sweeps clean

My new broom. You may think it an odd thing to be chuffed about, but this sort of broom is hard to find here. They more commonly use push brooms, like shop brooms.

Uncle B calls this a besom. It isn’t exactly — that’s the ‘bundle of twigs’ broom like the witches ride — but he put out his back once, badly, using one of my brooms from the States, so I’ll allow him to call it whatever he likes.

I found this one at an animal feed store. I had a nice chat with the shop girls about how excellent they were for getting into corners and stuff. Horsey girls. You know the type.

It’s amazing he little differences I bump my nose against on the daily. Still a foreigner after all these years.

April 25, 2019 — 9:33 pm
Comments: 11


Welcome to your new Kitteh Storage Unit. This model is equipped to hold two (2) large, four (4) small or an unlimited number of behbeh kittehs.

Okay, okay, enough with the Cheezburger speak. (Hm. Is Cheezburger still around? It is! It looks kinda lame and click-baity though).

Wednesday is my day off. I shot this through the kitchen window today, from afar, with my phone. Fortunately, when you convert photos to black-and-white and 510 pixels wide, they ALL look like shit.

April 24, 2019 — 9:00 pm
Comments: 4

Thank me later

This adorable feller is a dormouse. They’re known for hibernating six months of the year and being painfully cute. The photo was used on Facebook to promotee the Sussex Wildlife Trust, though it’s the typical FB bait-and-switch where you click the picture and you don’t actually get a bigger version of the same picture. It’s credited to Terry Whittaker/2020VISION (I think. It’s hard to read).

But the actual article I’m linking to is a crowdfunding campaign called The Vagina Museum needs your help to open

Set to be the world’s first bricks and mortar museum dedicated to vaginas, vulvas and the gynaecological anatomy, the Vagina Museum, (the first and only registered charity in the UK with vagina in its title) is positioned to open in Camden Market in November 2019. But to make this great (and time sensitive) opportunity a reality, we need your help to do it! We have launched a crowdfunder to achieve this.

Then they go on a long tirade about how health is endangered when women are embarrassed to say “vagina” — but I’m pretty sure most people would be embarrassed to say penis or testicle in the same setting and it isn’t causing millions of men to drop dead of dick cancer.

Anyway. There you go. Toss ’em some change if you want to see this happen. Or, better yet, look at that adorable dormouse.

April 23, 2019 — 8:12 pm
Comments: 10

Back to work in the morning, hi ho!

It’s a running joke in England that rotten weather waits for long weekends (or bank holidays, as they call them) and then pounces. It’s usually true, too.

Not this time. I’ve never known a more perfect consecutive four days of weather. Sunny, hot in the sun, cool in the shade. Light breeze. Man, I could stand a whoooole lot of this.

Pictured, the kittens we watched coming into the world a couple of weeks ago (okay, no we didn’t…in the end, they whisked her away for a c-section off camera because complications). They aren’t exactly all growed up, but their eyes are open and their at that stage where they try to romp and play but their wiring isn’t up to it. It’s unbearably cute. Livestream.

The other pregnant cat from that post still hasn’t dropped kitten. She looks like a miserable furry beachball.

p.s. trying to find the perfect screen grab for you, I finally bothered to Google the YouTube navigation commands. On pause, you can go one frame forward or back with the , and . keys. Enjoy!

p.p.s. Other Kitty had her kittens in the night. Looks to me like three blackies and a ginger. If you poke the link above, that’s what you’ll see this morning.

April 22, 2019 — 7:55 pm
Comments: 6


B took this snapshot today: my best hen having herself a nice old-fashioned dustbath in the vegetable bed. Happy, happy chicken.

It was perfect today. Sunny, light breeze, temps around 70. When England does a Summer day, it’s quite a thing.

Okay, okay…Spring. And, okay, yes…I spent it indoors arting around. But, hey, I have a window!

Awesome start to my long weekend. Hope the spiritual among us had a good Good Friday, and the rest of us a mere good Friday. Have a blessed weekend to go with it!

April 19, 2019 — 7:46 pm
Comments: 7

I bought me a basket today

Passed this in a junk shop window today and, for £10, had to have it. Don’t know what I’m going to do with it, but it’s a beaut.

Strapped it to my bicycle to get it home and, yes, came the Elmira Gulch jokes immediately. I know too many people in the town.

Zo! One of the perks when your Queen is also your Pope: no separation of church and state. I get a four-day holiday at Easter! Tonight, I am a happy bunny!

Don’t worry, though — I’ll be around at the usual time to post pointless crap. Hoorah!

In case you missed it: commenter peacelovewoodstock pointed me to this:

In light of the devastating fire at the Notre Dame de Paris, Ubisoft wants to give all gamers the chance to experience the majesty and beauty of the cathedral through Assassin’s Creed Unity on PC.

From April 17th at 15:00 to April 25th at 08:00 (your local time), you can download Assassin’s Creed Unity on PC for free here, and you’ll own it forever in your Uplay games library.

We encourage all of you who want to help with the restoration and reconstruction of the Cathedral to join Ubisoft in donating.

I’m currently finishing up Assassin’s Creed: Origins (set in ancient Egypt). I’m a fan of the Assassin’s Creed series. The story telling isn’t brilliant, but the painstakingly-recreated historic environments are just wonderful.

Unity is set during the French Revolution. It came out in 2014 to so-so reviews (technical issues on launch, looks like), but it looks mighty purty. I got mine. Get yours!

April 18, 2019 — 9:59 pm
Comments: 16

Muh boy in muh chair

Yesterday or today, I think.

The cats are mad with all the new mice and bunnies (and, sadly, birds) in the garden. And the warming temps. Won’t be long now before we can leave a window open and they can come and go as they please (without waking us up to go out at the crack of dawn).

Sorry for being neglectful. This is my favorite time of year and my heart isn’t in here, on the computer.

We got lambs, people. Lambs.

April 17, 2019 — 8:49 pm
Comments: 7