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And still it rained

Okay, actually, that’s a picture of the beach, but truly it has rained and rained. And winded and winded. Not like that big blow on Christmas Eve eve, but relentlessly. And for as far in the future as I trust the weather forecast.

We haven’t lost power yet, but we’ve had some close calls. The power to the pump that drains our local acres failed. They had to bring in a backup generator while we watched the ditches rise.

And this afternoon, the power went out in the supermarket. Which was creepy. It was pitch black, except for a lone spotlight in the deli section. The girl behind the counter made a “ta-da!” face in the light, which was kind of cute. It only lasted a few seconds, or I assume more backup would’ve kicked in.

Oh my god. It’s happened. I’ve gone native. I’m droning on and on about the weather…

sock it to me

December 30, 2013 — 11:46 pm
Comments: 24

Round 57: bend over, here comes 2014!

Holy crap — I’ve forgotten to queue up the Dead Pool! That’s the kind of mellow holiday weasel I am today. Sam Paris wins dick with Kalashnikov (and I don’t mean he shot up the place).

I’m several dicks behind, incidentally, if you’re waiting for one. I tend to do them in batches. Don’t worry, the dick always gets there in the end.

Nope. Never get tired of it.

Right…!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

sock it to me

December 27, 2013 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 107

Happy Boxing Day!

Gosh, I’m stuffed.

Back here tomorrow. 6 WBT. Dead Pool Round 57!

sock it to me

December 26, 2013 — 11:36 pm
Comments: 5

It was awesome

Hope yours was, too!

sock it to me

December 25, 2013 — 10:54 pm
Comments: 23

We made it!

Well, that was the most spectacular windstorm either of us can remember — and we get some doozies here along the Channel. But we never lost power.

We did, however, lose two trees. One was dead, and we kind of expected it to come down in the blow. The other was a live plum tree, though, and it will be missed. But they didn’t damage anything in the falling, so we’re going to call this one a win.

Merry Christmas, y’all! Hope Sandy Claws dumps a load of awesome down your chimbley!

sock it to me

December 24, 2013 — 10:34 pm
Comments: 25

Christmas Eve Eve

Holy shit, it’s like the apocalypse out there. Yes, we’re on the southern coast, in the 85mph band. It’s rubbish night, but I don’t dare put anything out. I’m amazed we have power. It might not last.

By the way, our little corner of England always gets lumped in with London. As you can imagine, the doings of London always bigfoot all over our local news.

Yes, somebody had Kalashnikov. Sam Paris had him. So there will be a holiday Dead Pool on Friday, if y’all are over your festivities by then.

Expect posting to be light and lame for the holidays, until I sober up. I make that February or so.

sock it to me

December 23, 2013 — 8:25 pm
Comments: 20

Round 56: Ho Ho Ho-ly shit, look at the time!

Well, good old Joan Fontaine copped it at last, and dissent555 takes the dick. Died in her sleep, thus ending the longest-running and most public sibling rivalry in history. She said of her sister, “I married first, won the Oscar before Olivia did, and if I die first, she’ll undoubtedly be livid because I beat her to it!”

Olivia deHavilland is 97, folks! Line up!

0. Rule Zero (AKA Steve’s Rule): your pick has to be living when picked. Also, nobody whose execution date is circled on the calendar. Also, please don’t kill anybody.

1. Pick a celebrity. Any celebrity — though I reserve the right to nix picks I never heard of (I don’t generally follow the Dead Pool threads carefully, so if you’re unsure of your pick, call it to my attention).

2. We start from scratch every time. No matter who you had last time, or who you may have called between rounds, you have to turn up on this very thread and stake your claim.

3. Poaching and other dirty tricks positively encouraged.

4. Your first choice sticks. Don’t just blurt something out, m’kay?

5. It’s up to you to search the thread and make sure your choice is unique. I’m waayyyy too lazy to catch the dupes. Popular picks go fast.

6. The pool stays open until somebody on the list dies. Feel free to jump in any time. Noobs, strangers, drive-bys and one-comment-wonders — all are welcome.

7. If you want your fabulous prize, you have to entrust me with a mailing address. If you’ve won before, send me your address again. I don’t keep good records.

8. The new DeadPool will begin 6pm WBT (Weasel’s Blog Time) the Friday after the last round is concluded.

The winner, if the winner chooses to entrust me with a mailing address, will receive an Official Certificate of Dick Winning and a small original drawing on paper suffused with elephant shit particles. Because I didn’t have any dinosaur shit particles.

sock it to me

December 20, 2013 — 6:00 pm
Comments: 102

Lookit the size of him!

Fuck politics, it’s Christmas.

I’d hoped to have an adorable picture of Jack climbing the Christmas tree, or eating tinsel, or whathaveyou, but he is *completely* unimpressed with said tree. Even though it’s a lovely smelly one. So here he is on the roof. Again.

He’s getting a little heavy and slide-y for this lark.

Right. Back here. Tomorrow. 6pm WBT. Dead Pool Round 56!

Because nothin’ says “happy holidays!” like betting on the death of celebrities.

sock it to me

December 19, 2013 — 11:43 pm
Comments: 20

Just flat-out busted it

This is for real. This really happened. This is not a parody. This thing was tweeted yesterday by Barack Obama’s official Twitter account, appearing under his own name.

See, this is what happens when your communications team is so politically correct, nobody’s willing to tell the designer, “dude, that is the gayest thing I have ever seen.”

Bonus! If you visit barackobama.com/talk, you can find handy instructions for making yourself an insufferable prick over the holidays!

sock it to me

December 18, 2013 — 7:34 pm
Comments: 34

Well, Round 55 was a short round

Zo! Dissent555 takes the dick with Joan Fontaine. 96. Her sister Olivia deHavilland is older by a year, so she should be a prime pick next time around.

Lots of people dying at the moment, but it doesn’t count if they fall between Dead Pools. Which I’m sure would make a huge difference to them, if they knew.

I’m just grateful for the break. Oh, the Christmas cards that need writing! The tree that needs trimming! The booze that needs drinking!

Everybody back here Friday. 6WBT. Dead Pool Round 56!

sock it to me

December 17, 2013 — 10:09 pm
Comments: 14